A/N: Welcome to chapter 2. This one is because of something I did during my run of ME: Legendary Edition and I thought it would be great to do.

Just Shepard Things

Summary: After the Collector attack on the SSV Normandy, Commander Shepard is brought back by Project Lazarus. However, the commander has ideas on how to get on Cerberus's nerves.

*Poison*

Shepard liked to think that she was a woman who could handle her alcohol intake. She was consistently able to drink both Wrex and Kaidan under the table back on the original Normandy, much to the astonishment of Garrus whenever he walked in on the competitions. But here she was outside of Afterlife with one hell of a headache.

The redhead let out a groan and rubbed her throbbing temples, trying to find the strength to stand up.

"Say something, Shepard," Garrus urged.

"Something," Shepard answered dryly. The scarred turian let out a snort of laughter and helped her to her feet with some assistance from Zaeed. "Ugh. How much did I drink?"

"One," Zaeed said with a growl. "Batarian bastard poisoned you. Would've shot him, but getting your ass out of the club was more important. Next time, you fuckin' listen when we say to watch what you drink on Omega."

Shepard's eyes narrowed and her hands balled into a tight fist. There was one thing that Garrus would say was a death more painful than anything he could think of and it was specially reserved for those who pissed the commander off. There was one thing the crew of the new Normandy picked up very quickly, especially if it placed her crew or team in danger.

Don't fuck with the commander. Doing so would be terrifying. She never lashed out at her crew; she guarded them with the ferocity of a mother thresher maw. Anyone who wasn't part of the crew that pissed her off would be in for a world of agony.

"Shepard…" Garrus looked at her warningly as she turned her glare onto him. "Don't tell me you're thinking of something dangerous."

"Oh, I am." Shepard seethed. "I think I'm going to give that son of a bitch a taste of his own medicine."

"You're fuckin' what?" Zaeed stared at her. He was no stranger to beating the piss out of someone as one of the best bounty hunters in the Milky Way, but he only did it for the payday. Not a lot of money in revenge.

"You heard me." Shepard brushed off Garrus's hand from her shoulder and marched back into the club, cracking her knuckles. The turian had rarely seen this side of the commander, even two years ago when she first became a Spectre. Her venom only came out towards those who willingly aligned themselves with Saren. A lot about her had changed over the last two years.

Then again, being given up on by the Alliance and trying to bury the truth about the Reapers like the Council had done would make anyone pissed. Her charisma was still there onboard, but on the battlefield and ashore she had become a lot more ruthless.

Garrus let out a sigh and jerked his head over to Zaeed. "Come on…we better follow her. I wonder if she's actually going to follow through with her threat."

"Oh trust me, she's plenty serious mate." Zaeed grimaced. "Maybe I should've shot the jackass." It was more humane than anything the commander was about to do to that batarian bartender. But, alas, he'd let her handle it her way. Part of him was curious; the other part was grinning like a maniac. This ought to be good. If anything, it was going to make one hell of a drinking story. The day he witnessed Commander Shepard survive being poisoned and forcing the bastard to drink it.

When he and Garrus caught up to their commander, he was not disappointed by the words leaving her mouth. "Nice try, asshole. Now drink it."

"W-what?" the batarian asked fearfully. "No! I can't!"

Shepard wasn't taking no for an answer and drew her pistol, aiming it at his head. "Do it or I start plucking out your eyes one by one. Now."

The batarian looked like he wanted nothing more than to fade away from the very pissed off Spectre. But he eventually relented when Shepard flicked on her pistol's armor piercing modification. With shaking hands he picked up the poisoned glass and raised it to his lips, drinking it.

The glass fell out of his hand with a loud crash, shattering on impact. The batarian clutched his throat as it swelled up from the toxin and eventually he suffocated to death, toppling over with a thud.

Shepard holstered her sidearm and turned around, finding both Zaeed and Garrus staring at her. "What? Bastard deserved it."

"Shepard, no offense here, but that was…rather satisfying to watch." Garrus grinned. "I wondered if you were going to shoot him or have one of us hold it while you do pluck out his eyes."

"Thought about it. It felt nice to give that bastard what he deserved." Shepard rubbed her glowing surgical scars that lined her cheeks. "That'll teach these sons of varren to not piss me off."

"Oh, I think most on Omega already know that when Aria found all the dead mercs." The turian clapped her on the shoulder.

Zaeed rolled his eyes at the totally not subtle hints that turians tried to call flirting. Can't believe I signed up for this broad's crazy suicide mission. "Would you two just get a bloody room?"

"Could say the same about you and Samara," Shepard shot back dryly. "Said something smart about her ass recently did you?"

"How the hell do you know about that?"

"Kasumi."

"Sneaky fucking bitch." Zaeed growled. "At least I'm not talking about forcing people to drink poison like it's a goddamn Saturday pastime." Seriously, who the hell did that?

Apparently Shepard and Garrus did. No wonder Miranda was looking more and more frazzled by the day. She had these two to keep under control and not fraternizing in plain view of the entire crew.

"You know, I'd look for a drink, but you just killed the bloody bartender," Zaeed grumbled.

There was so not enough alcohol onboard the Normandy for him to deal with the headache today had been. And Shepard was not letting anyone near her secret stash.

"Not my fault. Besides, apparently an unwritten rule is don't accept a drink on Omega if you're human." Shepard shrugged. "Don't worry Zaeed; I'm sure Grunt has some nice krogan liquor lying around for you."

"You think I'm stupid enough to ask your adopted son for any sort of alcohol? You're off your bloody rocker."

"Keep the compliments up. It makes me blush," Shepard drawled. "Who wants to grab a few bottles and just have a nice little break when we get back?"

"Thought you were a tyrant." The mercenary snorted.

"What gave you that impression?" the commander asked innocently.

Zaeed gestured behind them to the dead body behind the bar and the angry crowd of people complaining about poor service.

…

"Point taken. Think we should move it before it begins to stink?"

"Nah. Leave it. Aria will have more fun chucking the corpse into space."

A/N: Yep. I force that batarian bastard to drink his own poison. It is soooooo satisfying to watch lmao.

-Kagerou#0007