Disclaimer: Neither Fruits Basket nor the Fruits Basket characters belong to me. They are the property of Natusuki Takaya.

However, the plot and all original characters do belong to me. Hello all, this chapter was almost done by the time I completed the last one so I thought I would go ahead and post. It's a little shorter than the last several have been, but who am I to avoid a good stopping point? I think things are going to be more difficult to write from this point forward, at least for the next three or four chapters, but I will post as quickly as I can. Please read and enjoy this chapter and of course, reviews are welcome too.

Okay, Shigure finally decided to confess his feelings but there is some baggage in his past that he has to tell her about first. Neither the anime nor the manga through Volume 13 tell me a lot about Shigure's past so I made up a couple of things that colored his take on relationships. I hope they are received kindly. The first incident is described in this chapter. The other one I dreamed up will probably show up in the next one. I wouldn't mind knowing what people think of the past I created for him.

Thanks to everyone who has read this story. Knowing people are reading it is what keeps me from burning out and not completing it. I love this story even if it is of my devising. It is my desire that my love of writing comes through in these pages.

Chapter 15 Revelations

Next Morning

It was the day after the party and Tohru awoke early the next morning. She smiled to see her friends sleeping on futons scattered about the room. She and Shigure had come to bed quite late last night and everyone had been asleep. She stretched as she sat up in bed and then moved quietly over to the window where she could watch the sunrise from a comfortable chair. Tomorrow she would join Nikos on the beach once again for the sunrise but this morning she only wanted to reflect on what had happened last night after dinner was concluded. She gazed at the sun rising above the horizon and her thoughts turned back the hands of time.

Everyone had adjourned to the living room where the rugs had been moved and everything was arranged for dancing. It seemed all of them were having a good time, even Akito-san. It was marvelous to see how well Momiji and Zoe were hitting it off. Although Momiji didn't think she realized it, she did know that he was in love with her. It would have been wonderful to return his feelings as he was such a very dear friend, but it just wasn't within her to return them to the same degree with which he offered them.

Last night she realized just how much Shigure did mean to her. She recalled the moment at the dinner table when his face suddenly relaxed into a new and unfamiliar plane. It was almost as if he had removed a mask. His features softened ever so slightly and his eyes began pulling her into their depths inviting her to see what he was feeling. She continued to follow the girls' advice and made contact with his hands at random moments and frequently gazed into his eyes. Each time their eyes came in contact it became more difficult to look away because his called to her on a deep emotional level. It grew late and everyone went to bed. She tried to go to bed, but something kept her from sleeping so she went downstairs to the kitchen to fix a warm cup of tea. She hoped it would help her relax so she could fall asleep. She had found Shigure in the kitchen ahead of her and he had already placed the kettle on to boil.

After the party

"Shigure-san, are you having trouble sleeping tonight? I was thinking a hot cup of tea might help me relax and it seems you have the same idea."

"I couldn't sleep tonight myself Tohru-kun. Perhaps after we have a cup of tea, you would like to take a walk on the beach with me."

"Sure, why not?"

Outside the kitchen window provenza enclosed the island in silvery drapes. It was impossible to see beyond the front verandah. The two of them sat at the kitchen table in a comfortable silence. Much needed to be said but neither of them was willing to speak. Shigure gazed at her with a look of intense concentration and finally he sighed. "Tohru-kun, I don't really want a cup of tea right now. Perhaps we could walk and then have some tea. How does that sound for an idea."?

"Okay, that sounds good. Let's go."

The two of them stepped out into the warm night air. Shigure reached for Tohru's hand as soon as they started down the steps toward the beach. With each step he drew her closer to his side. The evening mist wrapped them in a cloak of illusion and all that existed in that moment was the two of them, the song of the night birds, and the rhythm of the ocean waves.

"This is so peaceful and so beautiful. I can almost believe we are the only two people in the world right now. Shigure-san, I'm really happy to be here with you. I almost wish…":

"You almost wish what Tohru-kun?" Shigure's voice whispered near her ear. The wistfulness in his tone resonated strongly within her heart.

"I almost wish we could exist like this forever but that's foolish of me isn't it Shigure-san? I know we have to go home in a few weeks because Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun, Momiji, Hatori-san, and Akito-san will be waiting for us to return. But what I would really like right now is to just stay here together with you."

"Tohru-kun, do you really mean that because if that is a foolish wish, then I am also a fool. I wish the same thing. Do you really enjoy spending this much time with just me?"

"I do. It's been so wonderful getting to know you on this trip. You're the same yet different from what I expected." Her teal eyes met his and within them was an invitation.

"Tohru-kun…" Shigure did not try to resist the invitation he saw in her eyes and heard in her voice. It was time for him to stop pretending she wasn't that important to him. This time her nearness was a temptation he would not ignore. His lips met hers and all that existed was the two of them enfolded within provenza's misty tendrils.

Tohru accepted his kiss and offered her own in return. Shigure pulled her down into the sand beside him and she offered no resistance. The late evening sounds were all that could be heard as they sat quietly with Shigure's arm about her waist and her head at rest on his shoulders.

Tohru felt as if she was in a dream, as if time was standing still. She felt she had been waiting her whole life for this moment, this man, this night, and this misty beach. Shigure's nearness stirred her senses and she felt as if only now was she complete. It was a perfect moment out of time.

Shigure was in a reflective frame of mind. He was transfixed by the ethereal quality of the moment. All the roads he had walked, all the chances he had taken, all the risks he had undergone; they all led to this moment and to this one petite woman-child. Her hair lay sprayed across his arm and an errant zephyr would occasionally catch up the strands and caress his face with their softness. Her scent filled his senses as he held her. If only he truly could keep her here with him forever. He turned to kiss her once again. She was all he really needed and he wanted her with all that was in him. The depth of his need for her caused him to hesitate. He eased up on the kiss. He searched for breathing room and attempted to regain control of his emotions. He had a promise to keep and it was important to him. She was important to him. It frightened him to realize how important.

"Shigure-san…?"

"It's okay Tohru-kun, it's nothing. I was just thinking that maybe this wasn't the best idea I ever had and that maybe we should go back to the house. It's too dangerous for you to be out here alone with me tonight." His laughter was a little shaky as he answered her question.

"But why Shigure-san? I know you would never hurt me." She searched his gray eyes as a break in the mist allowed the moon to illuminate them. They were dark with an emotion she almost understood. She was on the verge of a discovery, she was certain of that. She could almost hear what he was trying to tell her.

"Tohru-kun, I have hurt you in the past. Have you really forgotten so easily?"

"That wasn't your fault Shigure-san. It was only because I was so foolish as to forget that Kyo-kun is always Kyo-kun no matter what his form. You've always been kind to me and tried to protect me from my own foolishness. Shigure-san, I do trust you."

"Tohru-kun…" her eyes, luminescent in the moonlight drew him into the maelstrom of emotion reflected there and he found himself kissing her once more. The sand was damp below them but neither noticed as reality receded and time lay suspended just outside the mist. After an indefinite amount of time the mist began to thin and reality began to rear its head once again. Tohru shivered from the emotions evoked by his kisses and from the cold of the damp sandy beach.

"Tohru-kun, perhaps it would be good for us to remember that a skirt is not conducive to romantic moments while sitting on a wet cold beach."

Tohru heard the smile in his voice but still she regretted that the moment had come to a close. "Shigure-san, I'm sorry. It seems I'm very silly when it comes to moments such as this."

"Perhaps Tohru-kun, but tonight that is a good thing. I don't believe we really intended to end up lying in the sand together when we set out." He offered her his hand as an aid in regaining her feet. She accepted the offer and once more stood by his side.

"Let's go Tohru-kun. A hot cup of tea sounds very inviting about now and a cold shower…I really don't want to take this too fast."

"Okay, I can fix the tea we didn't have before we came out here. That is, unless you would prefer a cup of coffee?"

"Tea sounds perfect right now."

"I'm going to rinse the sand off and change, why don't you do the same before making the tea? I can't have my assistant get sick, even if it was while enjoying such a pleasant pastime."

"Oh…" Tohru's cheeks turned red at the memory.

Shigure chuckled as he entered his rooms.

It was only ten or fifteen minutes later when they reconvened at the kitchen table. Shigure had opted to wear his yukata and Tohru had changed into her pajamas and robe. He was a little sorry to see she was no longer wearing the yellow sundress. It had been quite attractive, especially when the breeze lifted the skirt just enough to tantalize the senses. Tohru took note of Shigure's bare feet and grinned.

"Shigure-san, it almost feels as if we are in Japan again when I see you in your yukata and bare feet. It feels a little strange."

"Are you disappointed Tohru-kun? Shall I go change?" Shigure grinned inwardly. He had figured out several weeks ago that his western dress still made Tohru just a little nervous although she had adjusted to it mostly.

"No, Shigure-san. I'm quite happy to have you dressed as you are. It's somehow more comfortable."

"Comfortable? You mean it feels safer don't you?"

"What…no Shigure-san that's not what I mean at all. I've gotten used to seeing you dressed like everyone else, but seeing you dressed as you are now reminds me of home."

"Tohru-kun are you ready…"

She looked across the table at him not quite understanding what it was he was asking.

"…To go home I mean. You could return to Japan with the others this week. Our research here is mostly complete. If you are feeling homesick and wish to be back with Kyo and Yuki, now would be a good time to do so. There is no need for you to stay here alone with me for another several weeks after they leave."

"Why would you ask me to go back to Japan now? Why? I don't want to go home just yet. I would like to stay here with you and continue helping you with our research as well as spending more times with all of the friends we have made during our stay here. I don't want to go unless…Shigure-san! I'm so sorry. I didn't realize my presence was becoming a burden and you were trying to encourage me very kindly to go home without hurting my feelings. Of course I'll pack right away and be ready to leave with the others. I'll go start right now…I'm sorry…"

Shigure glanced up in alarm. What on earth was she thinking now? He had only wanted to give her a chance to leave before he burdened her with the full weight of his feelings. "Tohru-kun, Tohru-kun, I didn't mean that I wanted you to leave. That is the last thing that I want. I was only trying to determine if you had enough courage to stay here with me." His hands captured hers in a comforting gesture.

Tohru calmed down and thought about what he had just said. "Courage, Shigure-san? I guess I don't understand why that is required."

Shigure sighed. "Tohru-kun, if I can make you understand a little bit more of my feelings, perhaps you will have a better idea of what I mean. There is something I've decided I must say, but first I have a story to tell you. It won't be a pretty story and you may not even like me after it's told."

Akito made himself comfortable out in the hall. He had been listening for Shigure and Tohru's return and was curious about what had transpired during the time the two spent on the beach. He had no qualms when it came to eavesdropping. His juunishi did not need to have a private thought he wasn't privy to, that was what he had always believed. Shigure wanted to tell Tohru a story, he wanted to hear the story…I wonder what story this will be?

Shigure took a deep breath. This wasn't a story he wanted to tell, but he thought Tohru had a right to know about her, about Naruie…

It happened a few years ago, I was about your age at the time. Her name was Naruie and we were deeply madly in love."

"That's wonderful Shigure-san! She must have been very special for you to fall in love with her because Shigure-san is very special too. What happened? Why are you still alone?"

"Our relationship was doomed from the start. I foolishly believed that Akito would accept her because I loved her and I am his favorite. I was wrong and she suffered terribly due to my arrogance."

Akito heard the name and suddenly he wasn't quite so comfortable. His head began to throb as the memory surfaced. He didn't want to remember but once his mind began its nosedive into the past he was powerless to stop the memories. They hammered at him relentlessly. No…. No…NO...his silent screams could not be heard by the couple in the room. The curtains hiding that memory rolled back and he was suddenly in the glaring spotlight of a time ten years ago.

Akito was thirteen and he had been head of the Sohma family for several years. The power he had over the juunishi and the burden of the curse he suffered had warped his personality into someone more monster than human.

He looked out the window of his room and saw Shigure smiling at a young woman as he held her hand. Akito saw red. HOW DARE a member of his juunishi think about happiness when they and their curse forced him to be miserable and afraid? Setting that aside, Shigure was his and no one else was allowed to take what was his away. He had asked questions and gotten answers. Shigure and Naruie were brought before him on his orders. His rage went deep and was filled with a cold hatred. He pinned his gaze upon Shigure.

"YOU DARE…YOU DARE to love someone other than me!" He raised his hand to strike at Shigure and Naruie stepped forward. He struck her instead and she fell to her knees. Shigure moved to her side and she looked at Akito.

"Why not Akito-sama? You aren't god no matter what you may think." Her voice was soft but firm in its defiance. "We love each other. You can't change that."

"You may not think I can, but you will soon know what I can and cannot do." The fear in Shigure's eyes more that made up for the girl's soft-spoken defiance.

"Hatori…" The doctor immediately answered his summons. "Erase this girl's memory now."

"Hai, Akito-san."

The shock on Shigure's face, his croaked "Ha-san…" made Akito smile.

"I must Shigure, I have no choice," fueled Akito's power trip and Shigure's broken whisper "I know…" gave him great satisfaction.

The events following those statements blurred together. Akito remembered ordering Shigure to disrobe the woman and then to disrobe himself. He remembered threatening to use the whip he kept hanging upon the wall on the woman if Shigure did not obey him. Of course Shigure followed his orders, after all Shigure was his dog. He remembered the voyeuristic pleasure of forcing the dog to, in effect, rape the woman he loved who no longer knew him except as a stranger. He remembered and he hated himself for it.

Shigure was just completing his story for Tohru when she heard a cry out in the hall. She raced to the door and saw Akito curled in upon himself in a shaking ball; tears were streaming down his face. "Shigure-san, hurry please! It's Akito-san. I don't know what has happened." Shigure rushed to Tohru's side and sized up the situation. He picked up the smaller, slighter man with little effort and carried him to the nearest room, which just happened to be his. "Tohru-kun, please bring Hatori and then wait for me please. I still have something important to tell you.

"Okay Shigure-san. I'll have Hatori come to your room to care for Akito-san as soon as possible."

Shigure gently laid Akito on his bed. As he did, slate blue eyes opened. "Shigure do you love me?"

"Hai Akito. Always."

"But why? I heard you tell Tohru-san about Naruie. Why would you do that Shigure? Why do you still care about me after that?"

Shigure's laugh was somewhat self-mocking. "Akito, you are our god in a sense. I guess it has been conditioned into us to love you. It's funny isn't it? No matter what you have done, I always find myself back by your side. You know, when Tohru-kun found Kyo that time; he said something that stuck in my mind. He said '…you don't have to love everything about me, just see me for who I truly am...' I know who you are Akito; I don't like a lot of the things you have done, but I do love you no matter how much I may hate what you do."

Akito closed his eyes in exhaustion. "Shigure, when my collapse happened you were about to tell Tohru-san you loved her. Be sure you do." Akito could feel Shigure's surprise even with his eyes closed. He would have laughed at Shigure but Hatori entered the room with Tohru on his heels and he thought better of it.

Hatori was immediately by Akito's side. "What has happened now Akito?"

Akito smiled tiredly. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Right now, all that's wrong is that I am totally exhausted. Shigure, I'll have Hatori help me to my room. Finish your conversation with Tohru-san."

"Hai Akito, I will."

Shigure offered Tohru his hand. "Let's leave Akito to Ha-san now and go finish our tea. Maybe we can even find some cake or cookies to go with it." The hopeful glint in his eyes brought a laugh to Tohru's solemn face. "Perhaps we can Shigure-san."

"Shigure-san, about Naruie…I still don't understand why you said I needed courage to stay here with you."

Shigure smiled gently into her earnest teal eyes. "Tohru-kun, please think carefully. Do you really believe I want you to go home? Do you really think I want you to leave with all that's happened between us since we left Japan?"

"Ah…I just thought that maybe you were tired of me always being underfoot and that maybe you felt it would be easier to complete your research without me getting in the way. You don't really need me with all of the people around. That's what I thought…"

"That does it Tohru-kun! I can't allow you to leave! I haven't even convinced you to marry me yet so you simply must stay." He pressed a kiss against each of her palms and her eyes mirrored some confusion.

"Shigure-san!"

He chuckled as she tried to pull away from him and hide her face but he refused to relinquish her hands. "Tohru-kun, you must know by now that you are very special, not only to my family but also to me personally. It's been happening for a while now and our time here has accelerated the process."

"What do you mean? What process Shigure-san?"

"The process of me falling in love with you."

"You…falling in love…with me…you must be teasing me again Shigure-san."

"Not this time Tohru-kun. You asked why I thought you needed courage to stay. This is why. I told you Naruie's story so you can see what kind of person I am. Akito orders me to do something and I do it, even if it hurts someone I love. I can't promise that will ever change."

Tohru's eyes misted with tears. "But Shigure-san, it hurts you too, even more that it hurts that person. I know that's true because you are a truly kind person. It must have been very hard to feel so powerless and to be unable to protect the one you loved."

"Tohru-kun, I am not all that kind and I 'm not very noble. I…" The compassion in her eyes was too much for him to resist. He pulled her close and kissed her tenderly. After a while he lifted his head, "What I have been trying to say ever since we came in from the beach is this…if you stay after the others leave, I intend to do everything within my power to make you mine because I love you Tohru-kun." She started to protest again and he held up his hand. "Don't answer me now. Take it slowly and be yourself. Trust your heart Tohru-kun; it has never led you astray. When you are ready to reply to me, I'll listen. I won't speak of this again unless you bring it up first. I just want you to know where I stand because the next time I ask you to marry me, it will be for real."

"Shigure-san I…"

He placed his finger upon her lips. "Not a word Tohru-kun. We have plenty of time."

"Ah…Okay. I guess I'll see you in the morning Shigure-san."

He walked Tohru down the hall to her rooms and kissed her good night. Once she was safely behind closed doors he returned to the kitchen and the tea they had once again forgotten to drink. The tea had cooled but he didn't really notice as his mind was filled with uncertainty. All of his cards were on the table now. Had he taken the right approach? It was seldom he was so unsure of his next move.

Instead of returning to his quarters after finishing his tea, he turned down the hallway toward Hatori's room. He really needed to talk to someone. It was 1:00 am according to the clock on the wall and his best friend was probably asleep. But perhaps he wouldn't mind being awakened…Shigure knocked on the door.

"Come in Shigure."

"Ha-san, you're still awake?"

"Do I look like I'm sleeping Shigure? I knew you would want to talk tonight so there was no point in me going to bed."

Shigure entered the room and took the seat across from Hatori. The window was open to the night and his cigarette smoke drifted upon the evening breeze. Resting on the table was an urn of coffee, two cups, an ashtray, and a pack of cigarettes. Hatori really had been expecting him.

"I told her about Naruie tonight."

"I know. Akito told me. How much did you tell her?"

"Everything relevant."

"Including what was said afterwards in my study?"

"No, that wasn't relevant to the story."

"You know you succeeded. I was afraid you had succeeded too well."

"What do you mean Ha-san."?

"I remember that day all too well. Removing Kana's memories was easier for me than erasing Naruie's memories of you against her will. I hurt my best friend."

Hatori thought back to that day. It was rather ironic that something so dark happened on a beautiful spring day. Shigure and Naruie were walking in the gardens when summoned. Hatori waited in the hallway waiting for Akito's summons. He knew it was coming. He never even considered disobeying. He had complied with Akito's instructions and then retreated to his study. He had no concept of how much time passed from the time he left Akito's rooms to the time that Shigure stumbled into his study and collapsed at his feet. He did remember Shigure's pain and anguish, he remembered Shigure's tears, and he remembered most of all that Shigure never blamed him for obeying their God.

Shigure's words emblazoned themselves in his mind.

"I will become stronger Hatori, I will never be Akito's dog again, not like this, never again.

Hatori offered to help in the only way he felt he could.

"This is too painful for you Shigure. I can help. Let me take the memory of today away."

"I don't want you to do that Hatori. I want to remember, it will keep me strong. No one will ever suffer from loving me, never again."

Shigure waited for Hatori to explain what he meant by saying he feared Shigure had succeeded too well. His friend was lost in thought, what was he remembering? He drummed his fingers on the tabletop and then lit a cigarette. When he was halfway through with it, Hatori looked up.

Hatori's sigh gained Shigure's attention. The compassion reflected in Hatori's green eyes caught Shigure by surprise. He had seen it often directed toward other people but never toward him for his benefit. "Ha-san…?"

"Shigure you never cried after that, you never allowed yourself to get close to anyone from that day forward. All of your energies went into your writing and into watching over the younger juunishi. I was afraid you would never allow yourself to love again. You dated but you never allowed anyone to get close to you again, at least you never did until Tohru-kun joined our family. She managed to penetrate your defenses and work her way into your heart. You cried for her Shigure, that's when I knew you were going to be okay."

"Ha-san, I never knew you were so worried about me! I'm touched, I truly am…you do love me!" Shigure added just enough melodrama to the scene to make Hatori grimace.

"You idiot! Can't you stay serious for more than five minutes?"

"It wouldn't be me if I did, would it Ha-san?"

"No, it wouldn't. Did you tell Tohru-kun how much you love her? Did you at least stay serious for that?"

Shigure's lighthearted display faded instantly. "I did, I put all of my cards on the table tonight. That's what I wanted to tell you. Did I do the right thing? Was it too soon Hatori?"

Hatori was slightly taken aback at Shigure's lack of certainty. It was a 180-degree turn from the confidence he had exuded earlier. "It was time Shigure. I think tonight made it pretty obvious that our Tohru-kun has grown enough to accept your feelings. I do believe she loves you."

"I want to believe that Ha-san. Thank you. Good Night."

"Night, Shigure."

Morning again

"Tohru-chan…Tohru…Are you okay?"

A worried Miki shook Tohru from her reverie. The other girls were still asleep.

"Miki-chan…what? Oh…yes I'm okay Miki-chan. He loves me. Shigure-san loves me."

Miki noted the wonder in Tohru's eyes and laughed softly. "Of course he does…you only just figured that out?"