Author's Note: Whoa sorry for the long delay you guys ; but here's a whole new chapter, yay! Thanks for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

Chapter Five: Loved For Being Yourself

It was nightfall and Misao couldn't sleep. She sat up in bed, her body feeling tired, but her mind was the entire opposite, wide awake and filled with many different thoughts.

The young ninja sighed, 'I need to take a walk or something. I need to clear my head.' Misao stood up and appropriately covered herself securely with her sleeping yukata. Quietly stepping on the distinct cold floor, she tip toed to her shoji door and exited her room.

Misao made her way to the garden in the back of Aoiya and sat in a section where the garden overlooked a small lake where a wooden bridge was leading the way across it from each side. Misao sat on the cool green grass in a fair sized opening and gazed at every single one the stunning flowers that surrounded her. The moon lit up the night sky with a faint light and made the beautiful plants seem to glow with a brightness of a whitish blue. Fireflies flew around gradually and provided her more light as they landed on the flowers to make them look even more beautiful and exotic.

Misao was calm in watching them. She loved to sit in the garden at night, which she hadn't done in a long while. With the moon and stars out, everything around her shined with a lovely passion. This place really calmed her nerves and allowed her think straight.

The eighteen year old sighed with a smile, she thought about Aoshi. She had known him all her life and yet there was still somewhat of a secrecy about him that made her want to know even more about him. Misao bet that Aoshi knew everything about her. She was not mysterious at all, but then if she were, she wouldn't be the Misao everyone knew. She certainly should not try to be something she is not.

Misao was in such a trance from looking at all the flowers that she did not look as if she heard that light footsteps were coming, and soon stopped behind her.

"You should not let your guard down." Said a soft voice as Misao felt a hand being softly laid on her shoulder.

Misao jumped somewhat as she felt the presence now, then felt the hand squeeze slightly tighter for just a second. Misao turned her head up to find Aoshi standing right behind her sitting figure. Aoshi removed his hand from her and waited for Misao to explain herself.

Misao brought a fist to her head and playfully tapped it, mocking a punch, "Oops, sorry about that." She smiled, but then made a face, "But you know, I could've taken you on even if I didn't have my guard up in the first place." She mused with a grin.

Aoshi smirked before sitting down next to her, "Is that right?" He asked teasingly.

Misao could no longer joke around as she felt her heart skip to watch him sit down next to her. She felt completely self-conscious and so immensely small in comparison to him and it made her blush. Misao felt now that they looked even weirder together then she thought they already were. She shook her head then to rid the notion, instead closing her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest felt better for her, "Well, sure." She giggled lightly and he smiled.

They both now looked at the moon above them and stayed silent for about a minute until Misao thought of something. She hesitantly turned to Aoshi, concern overshadowing her eyes. There was no more sign of joy in them, "Do you think we can defeat him Aoshi?" She nearly whispered.

He did not look back at her, "Yes, but it will not be effortless."

Misao nodded and looked back up again, "I never assumed that it would be… but I'll try my best." She said and now glanced at the flowers and other plants once more.

The older leader nodded, "As will everyone else."

Misao now watched the fireflies dance around the flowers and gazed at their every move. She grew a bit sad to tell the truth. Going into battle again was one of the last things she could ever even come close to wanting. But she knew it was something she trained for all her life, to fight and battle. This was very strange and yet interesting to her. The one thing Misao despised is exactly what she's all about. She is a fighter; she has gone into battle many times before. Although so have many others. But even if someone has, no one ever said that person enjoyed it.

The young woman suddenly wondered what her life would have been like if she had grown up to be like a normal young girl with a mother and a father always by her side. Just… normal.

She shook her head. Misao had to admit, it did no good for her to wonder about things like that. And so, she would not wonder about it any longer.

She folded her arms around her legs and placed her chin on her knees gently, "You know Aoshi, everyone wishes to know their future. How they will look when they elder, if they still act the same, if they are married and have children, and even if they are even still alive… We all wish to know… but not me, not anymore." She smiled, "I have come to love not knowing, it just makes life that much more adventurous."

Aoshi looked at her, "I, have never thought of it like that." He admitted and Misao looked at him for the second time.

"Really? A lot of people think that all the time." She said as she continued to look at him, "I don't think they should either, because if they kept thinking about the future then the present is never realized, and would soon be lost, if always worried about the future." She said as she gazed at the fireflies once again. "We all just need to live for today… Live it to the fullest each day we can… Whatever the future will bring, we will all be ready for it, one way or another." Her voice became quitter.

Aoshi was surprised by her words. People really did take the days they have now to live for granted, thinking about the future as an alternative.

Misao felt her heart beating evidently; she honestly didn't know why she spoke her thoughts aloud to Aoshi like this. 'I don't want him to still think that I'm the same weasel I was back then.' Misao just wanted him to understand that she is not ignorant about these kinds of things she guessed. Though still, she found joy in speaking her thoughts to the one she loved, "No one desires to live a hard life also, but if life wasn't hard then you won't have anything worth achieving. Not everyone realizes that times of hardship will come to all of us sooner or later, it just matters on how we accept and handle it. Like our battle that is soon to come."

Misao's gaze on the flowers never left, "We know all this and yet, in times of trial, we always think of a cowardly way out, instead of just dealing with it… When you left us, I…" Aoshi looked at her carefully, "I… always tended to dream of a place, where nothing was ever harder than it seemed, a place where none of that existed in this world." She said quietly. It was difficult for her to confess, but it was how she truthfully felt inside.

Aoshi looked away, knowing his gaze on her must not have been the most comforting. He understood though.

Aoshi narrowed his eyes in wonder, he has in fact from time to time wondered about his future, but was not so desperate to know how his entire life would fold out. If he did, then he would not experience anything in between it all. Aoshi agreed with Misao on everything she said, because it was very true.

Misao smiled and looked at Aoshi, feeling her confidence grow little by little, "You know, I don't know what is to become of me in the future, but I hope you and the others are still in it. I like how my life is right now, I really do…" She whispered to Aoshi.

He looked at her and smiled faintly, who would've known that all his troubles and uncertainties were to be forgotten when he was with this young woman? He didn't know, but he was thankful anyway and hoped that fact would never change. In these times of falseness and war, there were few people he could trust. And Misao was probably the only person in his life he trusted with all his heart; it was impossible to deny that, he didn't want to.

Did Aoshi see this new woman in her that was now coming out of its shell? Surely he must have. Because he took her more seriously, showed her more respect, and was with her nearly every day.

Misao's memories of last night flooded her mind and she couldn't help but ask that question that nagged at her for a while now, "Tell me Aoshi, have I changed that much?… do I seem like, a different person in a way? A different person in your eyes?" She asked gently, almost shyly, as she now looked at the still shimmering flowers and plants. Misao was now too frightened and lost in her thoughts to look at him.

Aoshi was a bit surprised by this question. As a man who always knew what to say, he was having a hard time letting words leave his mouth. She has changed yes, but he knew it was for the better.

"Yes, you've changed… changed a great deal, actually." He said as he looked down.

Why did Aoshi feel so distressing, like he missed out on something important? Was it because he didn't want Misao to grow up yet? For her to discover even more of terrible sin that lurked in the shadows of this world they lived in? He was not sure. But a very small part of him missed it when Misao was just a little girl. It was the only time in her life when she was happy, always.

Misao looked at him and her face saddened, taking great notice that his only answer was that, "So, you are not pleased of what I have become?" She asked dejectedly.

Aoshi looked down at her quickly. She had misunderstood him, "No. It's not that at all… It's just," He muttered the last statement to himself as he tried to put into words of what he felt in his heart while she kept looking at him with cheerless eyes.

He sighed, coming up with the right words now, "It's normal for someone to not be used to change. Once someone has things the way they want, they grow to dislike and be afraid of change… That's human nature, no one can avoid it." He explained to her.

Misao held her head down more and was about to look away when Aoshi gently placed his hand on her shoulder for her to look back at him again. She did and saw his blue eyes look almost joyful, "But that change can always be for the better, and in your case, it is."

Misao smiled, "R-Really?"

"Yes, very much so. You may have changed as a person, but yet you are still the same as before in other ways.. That will never become different, because it is apart of you." He replied and released his hand from her shoulder with reluctance.

Misao then smiled brightly and looked away with a blush. He really liked the person that she had grown up to be. Then she held in a giggle as she thought it was Aoshi who raised her to be this person that she was today.

But, what about Hideki? Did he really behold feelings for her as everyone else had thought? She had no idea, and yet, she really cared. Her heart belonged to Aoshi. It always has. To love another would be so strange to her because, to put it bluntly, she has never loved anyone more than she did Aoshi.

Either way, whoever she loved, someone's heart was going to break in the end. And she wasn't ready for that.

Misao sighed all of a sudden and frowned.

Aoshi noticed this and turned to her, "What's the matter?" He asked quietly, not wanting to startle her from her thoughts too much.

"Hm? Oh nothing really. Just thinking, about other things.. It's no big deal though…" She trailed off, looking away and masking her inner confusion the best she could. If anyone knew she was hiding something, it was Aoshi. It always was, and sometimes that could be to her disadvantage.

He didn't believe a single word for a second, and he could bet that she knows this. Aoshi looked ahead of himself and at the flowers and inwardly shrugged. It was ok; if she didn't want to say anything to him right now he would ask her about it later. In the end, he always did.

Misao yawned now, "Oh gosh, it must be really late now." She muttered and leisurely stood up and stretched her arms high toward the sky.

Aoshi stood up also and nodded, "We should get some rest now. Himura and the others will arrive tomorrow." He said and waited for her to finish stretching so that she would walk with him. What he said had Misao feeling a pang in her heart. Whenever she heard from people here that Kenshin and Kaoru were coming, it was because of this new person they needed to defeat.

It was then that reality of everything had just hit her. Hideki was supposedly in love with her, and Aoshi was not. Misao had changed, and yet she had the slightest feeling Aoshi still did not seek out into her what he was looking for in a woman to love. Was Misao just going to give up? Did she already?.. She thought she had.. but soon discovered.. as her mind gave up, her heart did not. It was strong and certain of what it felt. She loved Aoshi, plain and simple. But did he know? Did he know this simple thing she showed him in her actions each day.. that she loved him and no one else?

Her and her friends, along with the entirety of Japan, were all in danger. Misao felt her anger burn in her heart for a mere second. She just didn't want to fight anymore! As of right now she felt so weak and vulnerable to which she didn't know the reason why. 'It's not fair!.. It's not..'

Misao turned to Aoshi and stood by his side once they made it to her room first.

Sighing sadly, she did something that was out of her control, and hugged Aoshi around his waist tightly. She wanted to hold onto him for as long as she could, before she would completely lose him to someone, or anything else. She gasped in a breath and shook. Her voiced cracked very evidently, "Th-thank you… for everything."

Aoshi's body stiffened momentarily. He felt her strong, and yet frail grip around him, as if she was holding on with uncertainty. Something in her voice made his heart pang with guilt and sadness for her somehow. What exactly did she mean by this? And by thanking him for everything? At hearing the clear pain in her tone, he subconsciously encircled his arms around her shoulders instantly. Aoshi felt himself tighten his hold when hers loosened, even as she didn't mean for it to.

"Misao…" Was all that left his mouth. He knew what he wanted to say, what he wanted to ask, however the words could not find his voice. All he was aware of right now, was that he found himself in comfort in this young girl's arms. As of right now, Aoshi felt his heart go out to this woman who cared about him so much. He could not remember the last time anyone showed him so much kindness all at once. It meant a lot more to him than anyone will ever know.

Engulfed in the darkness of the Aoiya, save for some moonlight which beamed through windows nearby in the hall they were in, both Aoshi and Misao felt inwardly closer to one another.

Misao felt her sadness build, 'Even as I hold him so tightly right now, he is still so far out of my reach it seems.' This was a feeling she could not shake.

She fought back a loud sob and was slowly pulling away as she kept murmuring with her head down, "Sorry, I'm sorry."

Aoshi felt her move back and his arms stayed in place, though now were gliding on her arms as she pulled away. He did not want her to, though did nothing to stop it, "There is nothing to be sorry for. Tell me what's wrong. I know something is bothering you, and I have an idea of what it may be." He raised his hand to her shoulder.

Misao shook her head vigorously, "No-no, no. Nothing is bothe-… Aoshi.. I.." She was torn. She wanted him to know that she would have rather been on that date with him than Hideki any day. She wanted him to know that he came first. She wanted him to know all these things, and yet, knew it would not make a difference of how he felt about her. 'You're my best friend Aoshi…' The painful truth made a pang at her heart and she took a step back to her door, opening it behind her. She tried to smile her brightest smile to him, "I'm ok Aoshi. Goodnight." She said timidly while bowing politely to her friend and leader.

She stepped in and didn't look back, for if she did, she would be lost in his beautiful azure eyes ceaselessly. She closed the shoji behind her so softly it didn't make a sound.

Aoshi still stood there. He didn't want to leave her side, not at all. After about a minute, he tore his eyes from their serene gaze and decided to retire to his room as well. His mind played the scenes of their embrace and he found himself missing it. He stepped closer to the door, laying his hand flat on it where he knew Misao was still leaning against it on the other side.

He spoke softly, "Misao… I will not make you tell me what is on your mind… Whatever it troubling you, though I think I know what it is… Regardless, just realize, you can tell me anything. You must be aware of this." He finished and reluctantly pulled his hand away. He turned and felt his feet guide him to his room. He knew he would figure out what else was bothering Misao, it wasn't just about fighting. Something in his instinct told him it was about Hideki as well. Could it be possible… that she was developing feelings for the boy, and was afraid to tell Aoshi?

The bright smile that Misao had given him was, unknown to her, truly and undoubtedly full of love for him, and yet was still so empty that it hurt to watch her…

Misao leaned against the shoji door behind her with a newfound weakness that she was surprised she could remain standing as of right now. Her bangs covered her eyes as the moon lit up the night with a glow that was ever so calm and pure.

Misao was in so much love with Aoshi. She knew this all her life. Why was she so nervous and suddenly felt the need to 'confirm' it now? Did she not have the same love for him as she did now? Was it 'puppy love' as everyone had said it to be a couple of years ago?

No. It couldn't be. She did love him, but it was just a little girl's daydream crush years ago. Now she felt her heart beat fast and her palms glisten near his presence. That never used to happen.

Misao looked up and sighed. She gently pushed herself from the door with her hands and walked to her small nightstand. She lit a candle that was on the corner of and looked into her mirror as she undid her hair and brushed it.

She yawned once more and suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion take over her body. It seems she had ignored her body's plea to rest and now it was taking its toll on her. She carelessly plopped down on her futon and thought about Aoshi more before falling asleep.

Misao was in deep love and she knew it. She absolutely loved it too. She treasured this feeling, a feeling that lets you forget your troubles and worries. She loved Aoshi for who he was, and for nothing else. His eyes, carrying a deep dominance that was intimidating and yet so attractive in her mind. He did not care what others thought of him. He did not go out of his way to get people to like him, he was not fake. Aoshi was real in his thoughts and feelings; he was just a real person. He was, every inch, a real man and she loved him for being real like he was. After all, to Misao, the greatest happiness in life is the certainty that we are loved, loved for being ourselves.