Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and its characters belong to Natsuki Takaya.

The plot is mine and so are any original characters although this chapter doesn't feature any of them. Without further ado...Chapter 20

Chapter 20 Parting is such Sweet Sorrow

They arrived at Haneda to be greeted by most of the Juunishi. Kisa and Kagura rushed forward to give Tohru a hug and exclaim over her tanned appearance. Ayame and Hatori greeted Shigure and then Tohru after the girls were done. Haru, Kyo, and Yuki smiled in welcome and it seemed that everything was going to be okay.

Things proceeded normally for the first couple of days. Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru spent time chatting and catching up on the events over the past several months that they hadn't discussed in their frequent phone calls. Everyone was happy with the gifts Tohru had purchased for them and life moved back into its familiar routine. However; things gradually began to change. She noticed it with Yuki first. He withdrew and become a little distant. And then Kyo started to spend all of his free time on the roof and never encouraged her to join him. She tried to pinpoint exactly when things started to change but failed miserably.

Shigure on the other hand knew exactly when the distance had begun. He remembered the third night after they had returned home.

"Shigure…do you remember that day we went to the beach to watch the sunrise and got caught in the rainstorm? I sprained my ankle and you made Nikos carry me back to the house. I think he thought that was kind of strange."

"Hai Tohru-kun, and then I wouldn't let him help you out of your shoes after we got back. I was seething with jealousy. I sent him home and did it myself. I forgot we still had to get you to bed. I remember trying to carry you up the stairs and stumbling right outside your door. I had to let you use me as a prop to get to your bed since dogs are not made to carry full grown humans."

She giggled happily. "Fortunately that healed in only a day or so. Shigure I was happy that you were worried about me…"

The two looked up and saw Yuki and Kyo standing at the door staring at them like they had grown two heads or something worse."

Both of the boys' eyes reflected the same confusion and hurt. He realized it was the first time that they had been around when Tohru and he were talking on the intimate level they had grown used to in Greece. Of course, he couldn't let it alone.

"Ah, Yuki, Kyo…come on in. I know you haven't heard the news yet. What would you think of having Tohru in the family permanently, as my wife?"

"Go to Hell Shigure, that's not happening."

"Miss Honda, it that true?"

Tohru had looked at them with innocent eyes and seen no reason for subterfuge. "Hai, I love him."

"Congratulations Miss Honda, Shigure. I'll say good night now."

"Tohru, what the hell are you saying. Are you telling me you are in love with this stupid dog! Don't you know…" Kyo had stopped in mid-sentence. "Sorry Tohru. What I mean to say is congratulations. Good Night."

The next day the boys had sought Shigure out and taken him to task for being a pervert, a bastard, and a few other choice words, compliments of Kyo.

Yuki had looked at him with icy violet eyes. "This isn't over yet Shigure. I don't believe you are the one to make Miss Honda happy I for one will not recognize your engagement"

"We aren't officially engaged yet Yuki-kun. I haven't asked her yet, but I will when I get around to it. Just imagining Tohru in my life and in my bed for the rest or our days…it's such a delicious thought." He saw it coming and didn't try to dodge. He suffered for a headache for several hours afterward, but he figured he could allow them that much because they had lost so much more. Fools…they should have taken their chances when she was still unattached.

A few more days passed and Yuki seemed to have come to a decision. Suddenly, Shigure could not find any time alone with Tohru because he was always there. Kyo was spending the week at the dojo but Yuki was constantly in the way. He monopolized Tohru's attention and chatted and smiled with her as if nothing new had happened. Tohru had immediately accepted him back into her good graces when he apologized for not having been around. He explained he'd had a lot of research to do and his garden had needed a lot of attention. He charmingly said that he had not wanted to disturb her since he was sure she and Shigure had needed some time to themselves.

Shigure saw it for what it was. It was Yuki's attempt to return to the same footing with Tohru where he had always been and it was working. Tohru had no clue what was coming but he suspected.

Tohru was in the kitchen one night when Yuki wandered in and asked if he could help her with the dishes. She readily agreed, as it was one of the household tasks he could do and he had often helped her with prior to their trip to Greece.

Yuki watched Tohru as she washed the dishes. Her eyes kept straying in Shigure's direction and he watched with alarm. Was it really possible that Tohru had fallen in love with Shigure? Did Shigure really love her…he just didn't see Shigure as being capable of that kind of feeling. Maybe if he told her how he really felt, maybe she would see things differently.

"Miss Honda, after we are done with the dishes, would you like to come see my secret base and take a look at the improvements I've made. The strawberries are beginning to ripen and I thought you might help me pick them."

"Just a moment, let me make sure Shigure-san doesn't need me for anything."

"I'll wait."

"Shigure…" Tohru called as she approached the door to his office.

"Hai Tohru-kun?"

"Yuki's asked me to go to his base with him and help pick strawberries. I'd like to, but if you need me for anything, I can stay."

"That's quite alright Tohru-kun. I am only editing a couple of chapters before Mii comes to retrieve our manuscript. Go ahead." Shigure walked to the window and watched Yuki and Tohru take the track leading to his garden. Shigure smiled in satisfaction. Yuki-kun is going to find out just how much Tohru cares for me tonight. She is mine and I know she's not going anywhere.

Shigure was horrified at his thoughts. Since when had he returned to thinking of Tohru-kun as a possession? Was he thinking of her that way? He searched within himself and felt some relief. He wasn't using her; he was just giving her some space to ascertain that what she felt was really what she thought it was.

When was the last time he had said he loved her or given her a kiss…not since returning to Japan. Did he still feel the same? He knew he did but he also knew he had allowed his defenses to drop back into place. His masks were close at hand once more. Tohru hadn't noticed yet, they'd only been home ten days. When would she realize what had happened? He stood frozen in his indecision. On the one hand he knew he needed to reassure her of his feelings and that he still loved her. On the other hand, perhaps he should leave things in their current state, allow Tohru to make her own decisions without being influenced by his overtures of love. He realized that once again he was being a coward. He was withholding his affections, his words; because of his fear that maybe he wasn't the one that could make her happy. Maybe it was Yuki…or Kyo…that she really loved but had not yet realized it.

He would give Yuki and Kyo a chance. Yuki was taking his chance this evening. That has been obvious from the start. Yuki's words 'I don't believe you are the one to make Miss Honda happy' reinforced his uncertainty. Yuki had only put into words what he had been feeling since they had returned to Japan. He loved her, but the people he loved always ended up getting hurt. He thought he had gotten past that in Greece, but… Kami knew he didn't deserve her and he might not be the one who could make her happy but then…neither were they. She knows that, doesn't she?

Tohru took Yuki's hand as naturally as ever when he offered his own. They walked and talked about nothing in particular en route to his garden. Once there they set about picking the strawberries in easy camaraderie. Yuki didn't know if he should tell her how he felt, or leave her to Shigure's tender mercies. His words to Shigure "This isn't over yet, Shigure. I don't believe you are the right one to make her happy..." decided him.

"Miss Honda…" Tohru looked up from where she was picking the last few strawberries. Yuki had a determined look on his face. He seemed to have something to say, but wasn't sure how she would take it.

"Yes, Yuki-kun?"

"Miss Honda, there is something I need to tell you. I should have done so a long time ago."

Tohru felt her heart drop in her chest. Oh no, not now Yuki-kun. I don't want to do this. I can't return your feelings.

"Ha…Hai Yuki-kun?"

"Miss Honda, as you know, we have been friends for a very long time. My life has changed so much for the better since you came to live with us. You have helped me face life with courage and shown me what it is to be accepted. I know now is probably not the best time but I have to speak or I will forever wonder…I love you Miss Honda." Yuki leaned forward and captured Tohru's lips with his own. She responded out of surprise and reflex. She had learned how to return a kiss but…she backed away from Yuki.

"No Yuki-kun, we can't do this. I have cared for you a very long time and in high school I thought I was in love with you but…Yuki-kun…I really do love Shigure-san very much. I love you as a very dear friend, but I cannot return your feelings Yuki-kun. I'm…. I'm sorry." She dropped the basket of strawberries she had been collecting and fled from the garden. She hadn't wanted to hurt anyone; she didn't want to hurt Yuki but the look in his eyes just now…

Yuki watched her go. His heart was leaden in his chest. He should have realized he'd waited too long…he should have spoken sooner. He had thought that might be her response but had hoped so much for a different outcome. She really did love that perverted dog. How could this have happened…? He sank on the ground and tears flowed freely from his eyes. "Tohru…Tohru…"

Tohru fled from Yuki and straight to Shigure's study. She entered without knocking and Shigure looked up from his computer as the distraught girl threw herself at his feet and laid her head on his lap. "Tohru-kun, my precious flower…" He stroked her hair and softly hummed trying to soothe her emotions. After a while her sobs began to quiet and she looked up at Shigure with shimmering eyes. "Shigure-san, Yuki-kun…he said…he said…"

"He loves you, right Tohru-kun." She nodded in wordless silence. He leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly. "It will be okay Tohru-kun, just give him some time." She returned his kiss but fresh tears started flowing. "I didn't want him to say that Shigure…I knew he loved me but I didn't love him back in the same way…I am a terrible person Shigure-san."

"No, Tohru. Listen to me; you are not a terrible person. We can't tell our hearts how to respond and we don't have any control over who falls in love with us…you are a beautiful person Tohru-kun, it is easy to see why Yuki-kun loves you."

"But Shigure…"

"No Tohru-kun, no buts…" He kissed her once again and she lay her head back down on his lap. In a few minutes she had fallen asleep. "Poor Tohru-kun, to be so torn amongst us Sohma men and yet, I can't regret the fact you fell in love with me Tohru…Yuki had his chance." The girl slept on and did not hear his words. Yuki walked by the door on his way to his room and saw Tohru asleep on Shigure's lap. He watched the tender expression on Shigure's face as he stroked her hair.

Shigure heard Yuki approach his door and continue on to his room. He couldn't contain the satisfaction he felt that the rat had finally found something he wanted that would never be his. He was sorry Tohru was suffering but he regretted none of his actions. He would never relinquish her without putting up a fight because he was in too deeply. That was what he thought and this victory was already his. Now the only one he was concerned about was Kyo…what would happen when the cat decided to play?

"That should be me! That should be me…Yuki reached in his pocket and pulled the golden charm from its depths. The dog of the Zodiac laughed at him but he still couldn't throw it away. He put it back in his pocket and slowly made his way to his room. Yuki tried, but he couldn't quite get the picture of Shigure's expression out of his mind as he sat stroking Tohru's long, beautiful hair. Shigure…for all of his faults…Shigure really did love Tohru. He realized this on a very basic level and knew that was why he couldn't discard the dog. What Tohru loved, he loved as well…even now.

Yuki looked back at the years he had known Tohru and realized all the chances he had squandered; he had wasted all of his advantage by never telling her of his feelings. Somehow she was supposed to know he loved her without him saying the words. He laughed at himself in total derision. "Tohru…" He thought all of the words he had never had the courage to say and he finally fell asleep with the photo that had been taken right after her first white day with the Sohmas; she was wearing the yellow ribbons he had gifted her with.

The next morning Yuki pulled the tattered shreds of his heart together and faced his demons. Tohru was happy that Yuki was still her friend but in unguarded moments she saw his eyes and the stricken look that would appear when he thought no one was looking. Yuki was in pain and there was nothing she could do about it…she loved Shigure and there was no turning back the hands of time on that point. She struggled to smile and act normally for Yuki's sake. If Yuki could put a happy face on the current state of affairs, she could do no less. Shigure watched the two of them struggle and knew he was at the middle of it. He could do nothing for either of them unless he denied his feelings for Tohru and he was not going to do that, especially not for the sake of the rat.

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. Yuki, to his credit really did try to behave as if everything was normal but Shigure did not make it simple. He did his best to drive home the fact that Tohru would never be Yuki's. He made contact with Tohru as much as possible in Yuki's presence and he would drop an occasional kiss onto the top of her head or onto her cheek and she would turn and smile at him. He wasn't really sure what drove him to do such things other than the fact that he had suffered in silence as he waited for either Kyo or Yuki to declare himself and for Tohru to accept one of them. She would have at one time, he was certain but it would have been a first love sort of thing…now her love was directed to him and it was the love of a mature woman. Yuki was as polite and kind as always when Tohru was present in the room but once she left him and Shigure to their own devices, he couldn't get out of Shigure's presence fast enough. Shigure would grin evilly when Yuki left. He almost frightened himself with the pleasure he took from Yuki's distress, but he refused to modify his behavior.

Tohru watched what was happening and realized that there was something dark in Shigure's behavior toward Yuki-kun. Yuki would watch them with haunted pain filled eyes and she felt lower than low, but she couldn't stop her feeling for Shigure. She couldn't stop her smiles at his teasing affectionate manner toward her. But something was not right…

One day she approached Yuki when Shigure was at the main house visiting Akito. "Yuki-kun…"

He turned toward her with his smile fixed in place, the same sweet smile he always reserved just for her. "Yes, Honda-san…"

"Yuki-kun…oh never mind, it's probably just my imagination. Yuki-kun, I truly am sorry…"

"Miss Honda love has never been predictable. I missed my chance and Shigure didn't. I can see that he makes you happy and it is obvious that he love you…it's just that…"

She smiled softly. "I understand Yuki-kun. I am so sorry.

Yuki leaned forward and kissed her softly on the cheek. "Miss Honda, no matter what happens; I will never regret that we met and that we are friends. I love you, but I know I'm not the only one that does."

After that moment, Shigure's taunts and little displays of affection toward Tohru didn't affect Yuki quite as much. When Shigure realized the rat had become immured to his actions he dropped them. He still touched Tohru when possible and dropped kisses on her at unexpected moments, but the actions were no longer aimed at Yuki. It was simply because he could not help himself. He couldn't make it through an hour without some kind of contact with Tohru because his love would not let him be. He didn't say the words but his affection was still evident in his every action toward her. Shigure realized he had trapped himself to an extent. It had been his intention not to kiss Tohru or evidence his affection in any obvious manner until things were settled to his satisfaction with Kyo and Yuki. In his desire to torment Yuki he had fallen back into his habit of showering Tohru with affection in various ways and now he could not stop. Perhaps that wasn't a bad thing…his eyes strayed toward the young woman who occupied so much of his thoughts and he smiled gently. Not a bad thing at all…

Tohru found life to be more bearable and happier for a while after that day. She had started to worry that maybe Shigure was no longer in love with her because he had not kissed her or said he loved her in so long. With Yuki's declaration, his attitude changed and she was reassured that he still cared. He had not said he loved her since returning to Japan but surely his affectionate actions meant that he still did. She glanced at the calendar and saw that Kyo was scheduled to return in two days. He had been taking extended training with Kazuma-dono for the last two weeks. She looked forward to his return. She had missed her friend.

Kyo approached Shigure's house with hesitant footsteps. He had been given a couple of weeks to consider the fact that Tohru was in love with Shigure but he still did not like it. How could that have happened? Why would she have fallen for such an annoying perverted person? Shigure loved to torment and manipulate people. That was his chief goal in life, to make people dance to his tune. Kyo had found himself on the receiving end of those traits more often than not. He conveniently forgot that was his reason for living with Shigure now and the reason Tohru had entered his life. He forgot that was the reason he had attended a co-ed high school and realized that he could fit in with normal people. He forgot that most of Shigure's manipulations had resulted ultimately in making things better for him and the other younger juunishi. He did remember being manipulated against his will and he did remember all the suggestive and perverted remarks Shigure had ever made to Tohru or in relation to Tohru. Whey the hell would she fall for such a person? He found it impossible to believe that Shigure truly loved her. But why do you find it so impossible…is Tohru not worthy of the love of any man…is it that hard to believe that Shigure could love Tohru for the same reasons as you and Yuki, and even Momiji do? Kyo's conscience prodded at his thoughts with its logic but he chose to ignore it.

Kyo slammed through the door and shouted: "I'm home!"

Tohru stepped out of the kitchen where she had been washing dishes. "Welcome home Kyo."

He looked at Tohru in her yellow dress and no nonsense white apron and smiled warmly. "Hey how's it going?"

"Ah, Kyon-kyon you're finally home. We've missed you so much."

"Shut up Shigure." Kyo shouldered past Shigure and went upstairs to put his things away. How could Tohru love him?

"Welcome home baka neko," Yuki greeted Kyo as he stomped past his room en route to his own.

"Damn rat," he muttered. Yuki smiled in amusement. In some ways Kyo never changed. He returned to his studies. School would begin in another month and he wanted to be ready.

The atmosphere was tense over the next few days. Kyo's smoldering wrath was almost tangible to Shigure. It was only with Tohru that the boy made the effort to be gentle. After a few days of being subject to Shigure's constant fawning over Tohru and her responses to his overtures, Kyo found he could not take it any more. He knew from Shigure's own admission that they were not yet engaged which meant that Tohru was still available. He tried to figure out a way in which to get Tohru alone but every time he turned around the damn dog was nearby. He would make a suggestion and Shigure would immediately circumvent it by insisting he needed Tohru's help with his new manuscript. After all he was paying her to be his research assistant. Tohru would sweetly apologize to Kyo and then join Shigure in his study. Shigure invariably shut the door behind them and left the boys to wonder what was going on behind those closed doors.

Shigure knew exactly what he was doing. He knew exactly what doubts and disturbing thoughts he was creating in the minds of his cousins. He took delight in torturing them with the uncertainty. He knew it was affecting both of them and he knew it was only a matter of time before the next scene unfolded. That happened one day when Shigure was unavoidably called upon by his manager to deliver his new manuscript. Apparently Mii could not come pick it up herself because she was confined to bed after coming down with pneumonia. Her doctor told her she absolutely could not leave her house for any reason and the deadline was midnight. He reluctantly left the house to Tohru and the two boys. He had made certain that she was never left alone with them under any circumstances since Kyo had returned. Truthfully, it was Kyo he was the most worried about because he and Tohru had a very special bond, one that was even stronger than the one between her and Yuki. Yuki had been a threat but he was nullified. Kyo was still his rival and was one of Tohru's best friends.

Yuki knew Kyo was looking for a chance to spend some time alone with Tohru and he knew that he would prefer she end up with Kyo instead of the damn dog. At least Kyo treated her decently and could never be suspected of being a true pervert. He couldn't win her away from Shigure, but maybe Kyo had a chance. On the day that Shigure left the house, Yuki let Tohru and Kyo know that he would be out of the house for the day and would not return until evening. Tohru waved good-bye to him and then turned to Kyo with a smile. "It seems it is just Kyo-kun and me today…what would you like for lunch?"

Kyo looked up form the book he was reading and realized h e was alone in the house with Tohru. He wasn't sure how long Shigure would be gone and decided he should take Tohru and make his escape before his cousin returned from his errand.

"Say Tohru, how would you like to go out for lunch with me? I'll buy and then maybe we can take in a movie. It's been along time since we've been able to spend that much time together. What do you think Tohru?"

She smiled beatifically at him. "I'd love to Kyo-kun. Let me run up and change."

"You look fine just as you are…let's go ahead and go."

Tohru looked questioningly at her outfit of pink skorts and white t-shirt. The t-shirt had a spot on it where she had spilled some sauce while she was preparing it for the evening meal.

"But Kyo…"

He noted the reason for her distress and relented. "Okay, but hurry up. I don't want to wait all day."

Tohru skipped upstairs and quickly changed into one of the cotton blouses Shigure had bought her while they were in Athens and came back downstairs. Kyo took note of the cute blouse the lacy neckline and found himself tongue-tied. He'd never seen Tohru in a blouse like that. She looked very cute.

Tohru glanced at Kyo. "Is something wrong?"

"No, you look cute, that's all."

She blushed just a little at his compliment. "Thank you Kyo."

Kyo breathed a sigh of relief as they escaped the house with no sign of Shigure. He had been certain his cousin would show up before h e and Tohru were clear. He relaxed and fell into conversation with Tohru. She asked him how his time with Kazuma had gone and he went into detail about everything he had learned during the two weeks.

They had lunch at one of their favorite coffee shops and then went to the movies. Tohru preferred the romantic movies but Kyo preferred the action oriented ones. They found one with both components. Kyo bought the tickets and they went inside the theater. Tohru watched the screen with rapt attention and Kyo watched her. He watched the emotions chase across her face and his heart constricted. Was it possible that he had waited too late to confess his feelings? He didn't want to believe it but the only way he was going to find out was to take the chance.

After the movie he suggested they take a detour through the park, which was green and cool in contrast to the heat of the sidewalk. They bought an ice-cream cone and sat down on a park bench to eat it.

"It's been wonderful today Kyo-kun. It seems like a long time since we did anything together. You've been so busy with school and the dojo and then I was in Greece for almost three months."

"Those were the longest months of my life. I missed you everyday Tohru. It just wasn't the same to come home on a weekend without you here. Tohru, I've been thinking a lot and I think I know why those weeks were so long."

"You do?"

"I do. It's because I love you Tohru. I have for a long time but I couldn't tell you. Is there a chance…?"

"Oh Kyo-kun"

"I figured there wasn't. How could you ever love a monster like me anyway?"

"Kyo-kun" his words struck at Tohru's tender heart and tears began to fall.

Kyo wondered what he had done to make her cry this time. "Don't cry. I'm sorry. Whatever I said I'm sorry."

"Kyo-kun…Do you really believe I think of you that way? Do you really believe that?"

Kyo had the grace to look ashamed. "No, I know that isn't it. If I had more courage…if I had said something sooner do you think you might have loved me?"

"I do love you Kyo…just not in the same way. Probably I could have loved you but…then I didn't know Shigure-san the way I know him now…now I can't imagine loving anyone else."

"That damn dog, how could you have fallen in love with a pervert like that? I'd rather the damn rat than him. Let's go home."

Kyo grabbed her hand and pulled her along behind him. He was walking so fast she had to run to keep up but she didn't say anything. Her heart was hurting for Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun but she couldn't give up loving Shigure, not even for them.

Things were really uncomfortable and strangely silent around Shigure's house after that. Yuki gave up pretending he was okay and compensated for his lack of enthusiasm by being overly polite to Tohru. Kyo moped around the house and existed on a short fuse. It took very little to set him off. He was never angry toward Tohru but Yuki or Shigure only had to look at him for him to fly off the handle.

Tohru pretended to happiness she didn't feel and sometimes cried herself to sleep at night. She longed for a return to the easy friendship she'd had with the two boys. She wished Shigure would say he loved her like he had in Greece. He still kissed her when given the opportunity but he had not said he loved her since the return to Japan. Why had he not spoken? Had his feelings changed? Did he only kiss her because she wanted him to? Was she becoming a burden to Shigure? All of these questions and more haunted her when she lay down at night. She was beginning to feel she was a burden on all three. She wondered if everyone might not be happier if she were to move out on her own. She knew there were other jobs for which she was qualified. She knew she was capable of making it in the world outside the Sohma gates.

Shigure heard Tohru crying at night and watched as she tried harder and harder to present a happy façade to the world. He knew he wasn't making it easier. He still kissed her and was affectionate toward her but the words that would once again express his love for her remained unsaid. There was a distance between them that he was powerless to bridge. He wanted to reassure her but he was scared. What if she one day met someone outside the Sohmas and suddenly realized she didn't love him. She would feel trapped then…maybe she would hate him. And then…there was the misery in her eyes that he saw when she watched Yuki or Kyo. Love wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to hurt like this. He didn't want Tohru to be miserable and that seemed to be her destiny if she stayed among the cursed Sohmas. Surely she would be happier away from them after a while. He'd had his moments in the sun with her as had Yuki and Kyo but wasn't it time to set her free of their nets. He loved her but he didn't really feel he could keep her. He couldn't leave the Sohmas but she could.

The weekend before Yuki and Kyo returned to school was particularly difficult. Kyo was in a rage just thinking about her being there alone with Shigure once more. He was gentle with Tohru still but did not even attempt to be civil toward either Yuki or Shigure. Yuki became even quieter and more polite. His icy calm demeanor was even more disconcerting than Kyo's fiery bravado.

Tohru breathed a sigh of relief as she saw them off to the University for new session. Perhaps things would return to some semblance of normality with just Shigure and her there. She immediately felt guilty for that thought. Yuki and Kyo were her friends, it was wrong of her to be relieved that they weren't going to be around for a while.

If anything Shigure was even more distant and this confused Tohru even more. She knew he had decided something, but wasn't really certain what.

Shigure watched Tohru around the edges of his paper as they sat at breakfast. Her smile was bright but her eyes couldn't lie. He was certain he had decided what was best for Tohru andit wasn't him or living with the Sohmas. He was fairly positive he could get her to buy into his plan.

"Tohru-kun…"

"Hai Shigure-san?"

"I've been thinking and I'd like to talk to you."

"What about Shigure-san?"

He missed hearing her say Shigure, but he knew he hadn't given her many chances for that in the last several weeks. "Tohru-kun, I know things have not been the most pleasant for you since our return from Greece."

"Don't say that Shigure-san. I've been very happy here with you." The love for him shining in her eyes almost changed his mind.

"I know that's not true Tohru-kun. Come to my office, I wish to show you something." She followed him slowly, frightened of what she knew was coming. He pressed a couple of buttons on his computer and motioned Tohru to his side of the desk.

Tohru looked at the screen and turned to Shigure in a questioning fashion. "Why are you showing me a bank account? It is yours and I shouldn't be looking at it."

"That's where you're wrong Tohru-kun." He pressed another button. "Look."

Her name and the balance were on the screen. "I…I don't understand Shigure-san. This isn't mine…"

"But it is Tohru-kun. You've earned every penny of it. I've been saving the portion of your salary that you turned down when you started work with me so that you would have savings of a kind."

"I can't accept this…I never agreed to this. It's too much."

"Tohru-kun…" His warm hand once more stilled her panic. "I have been very happy with you as my assistant. We can call it a bonus if you like. The last six months have been the happiest of my life. To love you and to be loved by you has made me very happy. But Tohru…it was a mistake for us to fall in love. There is only pain for you here among the Sohmas and that is something you should not have to continue to experience. Greece was my mistake…I should have…" Shigure couldn't finish that thought. He would never believe that loving her was a mistake, but her love for him…that was another story. He deliberately used the past tense in his words. His heart constricted as he watched expressions flit across her features. He hardened his will. If he didn't do it now, he would never be able to let her go.

"Tohru-kun, you've given so much to us but we only offer you misery in return. It's too much Tohru-kun."

"But Shigure-san, I've been very happy here. This is my home."

"Tell me the truth Tohru-kun, are you happy right now?"

"Things have been a little sad…Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun have both said they love me and I can't return their feelings because…because I love you Shigure-san."

Shigure watched her tears overflow and attempted to dry them with his handkerchief. "Tohru-kun…" I love you Tohru screamed through his brain but he refused to say it. "When you were in high school you had a dream. You wanted to move into your own place and support yourself. You have given so much to us…your love, your courage, your time, your hope, and your acceptance. That has made all of us stronger and helped us learn there is a place for us outside of the world of the Sohma. But Tohru-kun…you've give so much to us that you have nothing left over to realize your dreams. I want to offer you that chance Tohru-kun…the chance to make your dreams come true."

"But Shigure…" She wanted to tell him that life with him was her dream now, that dreams change but she wasn't sure how. It would be so easy if she were certain he still loved her but it'd been so long since she's heard that from him. In Greece he'd told her to never forget he loved her, but now he was trying to send her away. Had his feelings changed?

The uncertainty reflected in her eyes told him he almost had this battle won. "You can stay with us if you like Tohru-kun…or you can start fresh in a new job and learn to stand on your own. Either way, we'll be here if you need us. Don't worry about us. We'll be fine. It's your choice Tohru-kun."

He wasn't giving her a choice, not really. If he didn't love her, she didn't want to stay. She would give it just one ore try. "Shigure I love you…"

"I know Tohru-kun." I love you too but please choose your chance for happiness…"

Shigure's feelings remained unspoken. He kept them bottled in his heart and refused to uncork them so she still didn't know where she stood with him. It seemed he didn't love her anymore. Tohru sighed sadly. "Let me think about this Shigure-san. I'll give you my answer tonight."

He heard her on the phone with Momiji and then she left the house. She was gone for a while but returned to put supper on the table. After the meal and cleaning up the kitchen she let Shigure know she was going to the Sohma compound.

Shigure sat and stared at his computer. He was trying to work but this time he really was suffering from writer's block. His head was filled with Tohru and all his memories of the two of them together. What would she decide? He almost wished she would stay, but he just knew she would be happier in the long run if she left.

Tohru returned from Sohma house in Akito's limo and asked the driver to wait. She knocked at his study door. "Hai, Tohru-kun"

"Shigure-san, I'll be leaving now. I've packed all of my things and they are in the limo waiting…"

"Tohru-kun…so quickly? I…" she looked at him with a flicker of hope in her eyes. Just say you love me Shigure and I'll stay. She was waiting for him to confirm his feelings for her. He knew if he said 'I love you' she would stay.

He stepped toward her and paused. He couldn't kiss her; he couldn't say the words. He tried again. "I wish you much happiness and much luck Tohru-kun." He gave her a tired smile. "You could have taken more time Tohru-kun. I didn't expect you to leave tonight."

Her eyes were bright with tears she refused to let fall. "I know but I thought this would be better. Good-bye Shigure." She closed the gap between them and gave him a fleeting kiss. Tears began to flow and she ran downstairs and out to the limo.

Shigure watched…memories playing a refrain in his head. Hatori stepped into his study as Tohru left. I came with her from the House. She asked me not to go any further so you are stuck with me until the limo returns from the train station. Shigure moved to the window and stared outside. She should have all the photographs; he'd left them on her desk while she was at the main house. Why did this victory feel so hollow?

Hatori had wished Tohru a fond farewell at the house before the limo brought them here and now he stood by Shigure's side. Shigure's gaze never left the window as the car took her away from his house; from his side. The laughing, golden, dreamlike moments they had shared in Greece were just those; golden impossible dreams. As the limo rounded the bend out of his sight, all the color was leeched out of his world except for the smiling portrait of the girl in blue with indigo ribbons.

"Why didn't you save the photographs Shigure?"

"I did. They are all right here." He pointed towards his head. "The memories won't die Hatori, I won't let them. It meant too much."

"…But not enough for you to ask her to stay Shigure. She would have stayed if you had asked…"

"No Hatori, she wouldn't have. I did ask." He looked at his best friend with sodden gray eyes. "I offered her the chance to stay here or take the money I had deposited on account for her and find some freedom away from us, Kyo, Yuki, and me. We have brought so much pain into the life of the one who has brought us such joy. I had to set her free Hatori."

"So you didn't tell her you loved her did you? How long has it been since you said those three words to her? You've been back in Japan for four weeks…when was the last time you told her? I know what you said Shigure. She told Akito and me. You used the 'I am Shigure Sohma and I like my life the way it was. This interlude was all a mistake. I have all I need.' Because you wanted to hide from her pain. "

"No, I didn't, not in those words." Hatori's words drove a knife into his heart because in part they were true. That was what he had implied even if he didn't say it quite like that.

"She would have stayed Shigure. Akito and I talked to her tonight. He offered to allow me to erase her memories and she refused. I guess that shouldn't have surprised me, she's not one who runs from painful memories. She refused Akito's offer by saying her mom would never want her to forget those she loves and she never wanted to forget them either. She loves you Shigure, she even told us so just before she cried and Akito had to hold her until she could stop. I still can't hold her or it would have been me."

"Stop, Hatori. Go Home. I just need to think for a while, by myself. I'll call you later."

"I'll leave for now, but I will come again. Don't do anything foolish Shigure; it would sadden her even more."

"Leave, Hatori." Shigure's voice was frost.

Hatori bowed and left. "Foolish, stupid, stubborn dog." Hatori spoke the words quietly and sadly as he shut the door behind him. Shigure heard every one of the words although he didn't think Hatori had intended for that to happen.

"Perhaps I am…" Shigure opened his desk drawer and pulled out a CD. He had given Tohru all of the pictures taken in Greece but not before he had transferred them to this CD. He dropped it in the player on his computer and relived once more that golden dream he had almost believed would come true. She will be happier without us, I know she will find happiness…who was he trying to convince, himself?

A/N: This chapter left me with a sad depressed feeling...almost like I could cry. My foolish, stupid dog...Why did I have to write this chapter...probably because every Fruits Basket fanfic needs just a touch of angst to make the happy endings more memorable. It seemed to fit...how did you like it?