Next chapter! Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed so far. It means a lot!

Warning: So much fluff.

Being a stay-at-home dad had sounded cool, and Voldemort had been pretty confident that he'd ace through it once he'd learned the basics. Which just showed how much of a fucking idiot he was.

"If you're taking her to the park, please put on her sunscreen for her, and make sure she takes her sun hat." Quirrell told him hurriedly as he picked up his briefcase. Ever since the Diagon Alley incident he'd become even more protective than usual. "It's boiling outside, and she can't get burned. Oh, and no more than one ice cream, or she'll be sick."

"Yeah. I've taken her to the park before, Quirrell."

"Alright, just don't forget. Sunscreen is really important." Quirrell gave him a quick kiss. "I'll see you later today. I might be a few hours longer, though. I'll call you."

"Yeah, what's the deal with you staying so late?" Voldemort huffed slightly. "You normally only work 'til 2:30 today, anyway. Is it a permanent thing now?"

"No, it's just trying some new stuff out." Quirrell dismissed as he opened the front door.

"Work stuff?"

"Um, yeah, sort of."

What was that meant to mean? Voldemort frowned. "So, in other words, not work stuff? What're you doing?"

"Just leave it, will you?"

"But why do you keep staying out late? What's going on?"

"A wild, scandalous affair with my gay boss." Quirrell replied sarcastically. "I'll see you later. Love you."

"Whoa there, hold on -" Voldemort began, but Quirrell had already left. He huffed again, determined to find out what Quirrell was up to later. And with that, he prepared to go to the park.

XxX

"Papa! Papa, Papa, Papa. Papa!"

"Hmm?" He asked blearily as he tried to zip up his jacket through half-closed eyes. "I'm right here, what's up?"

His and Quirrell's three year old daughter toddled up to him, holding out her coat, her eyes filling up. "Can't get it on!"

"Oh, well that's what I'm here for, right? Don't cry about it, kiddo." He bent down to gently help her get her arms through the sleeves, and then zipped it up for her. "There! Alright, you ready to go to this park?"

"Waaait!" She yelled when he attempted to take her hand. "Patch, we need patch."

"Your toy? Won't it get all dirty and stuff?" Voldemort wrinkled his nose. "You can catch a bunch of germs. No, Patch can stay here."

"Papa, pleeease!"

"You sleep with that thing, if we take him to the park he'll get all gross." Voldemort insisted. "C'mon. And of you're good I'll buy you an ice cream."

She stopped sniffling at that, and looked up at him hopefully. "Choc'late."

"Yeah, maybe."

"But Patch all lonely..." Her eyes filled up again and Voldemort could practically hear Quirrell in his head muttering 'Let her take the damn dog.'

"Ok, ok, please don't cry. There's no need to cry." Voldemort said quickly. "Patch can come. Where is he?"

Wang Mu beamed. "Couch! Thanks, Papa!" She toddled off as fast as her little legs would get her and had soon returned with her toy dog in her arms.

"Alright, let's get you in the stroller, then..." Voldemort gently helped her sit and buckled the belt. "And your pacifier..."

"Nonono." She squirmed, batting it away. "Don't like it!"

"Ok, fine, not right now then." Voldemort sighed in defeat, way too tired to even put up a fight. "But I'm keeping it with me for later."

Wang Mu scowled, holding Patch close to her chest. "Why can't Daddy stay home?"

"Thanks a bunch, kid." Voldemort rolled his eyes as he stood back up. "Your Daddy works during the day, and I look after you. You know that. That's how it is."

"I miss Daddy."

"Me too." Voldemort grumbled as he opened up the front door. "But you're stuck with me. Sorry about that." He turned back to find Wang Mu sniffling at his hostile tone, and sighed. "I'm kidding, it's ok. Don't cry. Please."

"I - I want both my daddies. Always."

"Oh, kid, I'm sorry." Voldemort knelt down so he was at her eye level. "I know, it sucks. But your Daddy has to work or we wouldn't be able to have all the things we have. I sell some cakes and stuff, but it's not enough for us to keep our house. He doesn't like working so much either." Even though he keeps staying out so late for now apparent reason.

Wang Mu nuzzled her cheek against Patch. "O-ok, Papa."

He kissed her forehead, to which she responded by bopping his nose. "There we go. Alright, time for the park." Oh, wait, he'd forgotten the sunscreen. Meh, whatever, he could just take it with him. "Wait, lemme get your sun hat and stuff..." He mumbled, setting off to do just that.

Once he'd had everything, he opened up the front door, already wincing at the heat, and began the walk.

"Papa?"

"Yeah?"

"Soda later?"

"They rot your teeth."

"Pleeease?"

Voldemort shrugged. "Sure, whatever. Just one, though."

"Papa?"

"Uh-huh?" He responded yet again.

"Is Azkyban fun?"

He almost stopped pushing the stroller. "No, kiddo, it's not. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't ask your Daddy that question, please. Where'd you even -"

"Di'gon. So what's Azkyban, then?"

Voldemort huffed through his nose. "It doesn't matter, Wang."

"Please, Papa?"

"It's a bad place, that's all."

"But why was Daddy there?"

Stay calm. Don't give anything away. "A mistake."

"Oh. So...Daddy silly and went to Azkyban?"

"No! Look, I think that's enough talk about it today, alright?" He managed, his breathing getting slightly strained. God damn it.

"Why?"

"Because I say so. Oh, look, we're here." Thank God for that. He moved to the front of the stroller to unbuckle Wang Mu and she hopped out, still clinging onto Patch.

"But Papa, if I'm silly, will I go to -"

"Enough! No one is going to Azkaban, alright? Case closed." Voldemort told her firmly. "Now, go and play or whatever. I'll be sitting right here."

Wang Mu sulked slightly, before she brightened. "Hide and seek?" She pointed to herself, beaming. "Count! One, two..." She closed her eyes, and Voldemort found himself smiling. "Five, nine, tweeelve, one hundred!"

"Whoa, whoa, give me a chance." Voldemort laughed. "Start over, but try and include all the numbers this time, yeah?"

"But so many."

"Then just count slowly to ten, you can do that, right?"

"Yes."

"Perfect. Start over, then."

Wang Mu obediently closed her eyes and began to count, still mixing up the numbers a little, but giving Voldemort enough time to move and sit directly behind her.

"Teeen!" She toddled forwards slightly, trying to look, and Voldemort grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap.

"Gotcha." He grinned before he kissed her face a few times, making her giggle and squeal.

"Found you, Papa!"

"You did."

"You count now!"

"Alright, but you stay right here in this park, ok? Or else."

Wang Mu nodded eagerly as she moved from his lap and he closed his eyes, though squinted them slightly so he wouldn't lose her. He needn't have worried, though; she hadn't really grasped the concept of hide and seek and had toddled over to the slide, using Patch to cover her face. Wow, she had the makings of a spy.

"Alright, ten." He drawled, before standing up. For her sake, he at least made he effort of pretending to look around for a bit, hearing her giggle every time he walked by her. Quirrell was so much better at this game than he was. "Hey, found you." He picked her up, causing her to squeal loudly and laugh. "Wow, I almost missed you there. You win."

"Yaay!" She beamed as he put her back down. "Ooh, Papa, let's go on slide!"

"I think I'm too big for that, but you go right ahead with Patch." Voldemort told her. "I'm just going to sit on this bench right here. Wait, hold on." He rummaged in the backpack he'd brought. "Put on your sun hat. Your Daddy's gonna hate me if you get burned."

"Looks silly." She whined as Voldemort put it on her.

"I know, but it's important." He told her. "And it matches your dress and everything. Now go and have fun." He watched her eagerly toddle off as he sat down, keeping an eye on her. A mother with her daughter, around a few years older than Wang entered, and he nodded to her before turning his attention back to Wang.

She was in some sort of intense game with Patch and as a result hardly noticed the other girl approaching her, apparently interested in Wang's toy. Well, Voldemort knew his daughter, and she was definitely not going to share. True enough, a heated debate seemed to be happening, and then the older girl pushed Wang slightly. Wow, kids could be brutal.

"Hey, hey." He stood up and made his way over, gently moving Wang away from the other girl. "That's enough of that." He glanced over at the mother, but she was engrossed in a phone conversation, much to his annoyance. "What's going on?"

"I want to see her toy." The girl pointed, while Wang Mu hugged Voldemort's leg with one arm, her other wrapped tightly around Patch.

"Yeah, well, pushing someone who's younger than you isn't the best way to do that, is it?" Voldemort pointed out. "Maybe if you ask nicely...?"

The girl fidgeted, before looking at Wang Mu. "Please can I see him?"

"No." She mumbled, pressing her face into Voldemort's knee.

"Wang Mu, she only wants to take a little look." Voldemort replied gently. "Then you can carry on playing."

Wang hesitated before slowly unwrapping her arm from Voldemort's leg and taking a few steps forward, presenting the toy. "Patch."

"He's nice." The girl took it from Wang's hands and beamed. "Mine now."

Jeez, this kid was borderline toxic. "Uh, no, it's not yours." Voldemort said calmly, before Wang went crazy. "It's my daughter's. Give it back, please."

"Patch!" Wang Mu yelled, grabbing the toy and attempting to tug it back. Of course, she toppled backwards and grazed her elbow from the impact, her eyes filling up instantly as she started wailing.

Voldemort immediately bent down, wrapping her up in his arms to comfort her while he tried to take a look. "That's ok, sweetie, it's just a small scratch. I have a bandaid for you." Wang Mu simply sobbed into his chest and he looked up at the girl, his eyes narrowing. "Give me the toy, please." He said dangerously. "I won't ask again."

The girl bit her lip, hugging Patch to her chest. "But I want it."

Spoilt brat. "The toy. Now."

The girl hesitated again, before dropping the toy dog in front of him, promptly hurrying away back to her mother, no doubt to tell her about it and get her to help. Voldemort instantly pulled Wang into his lap once he'd picked the toy up, presenting it to her. "Hey, here we go. It's ok."

Wang Mu didn't even notice, still crying heavily, and Voldemort kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's take a look at your elbow."

"Huuurts." She looked at it, noticing the blood for the first time, and shrieked.

"Whoa, hey, it's alright. Just a tiny scratch, like I said." Voldemort soothed her as he stood up with her in his arms. "Wow, she was mean, huh?"

"Yeees!" Wang wailed. "Bleediiiing!"

"Only a little bit, and it'll be cleaned up in no time." He sat back down on the bench, Wang Mu on his lap and still pressing her face in his chest. He rooted around in the bag with one arm, presenting some wipes and a box of bandaids. "Here we go, let's just take a look..." He gently straightened her arm out, dabbing at the wound which only made her sob some more, before he placed the bandaid on, kissing it afterwards. "There. All better."

"Papaaa." She wept. "She took hiiiim!"

"But I got him back for you, look. Right here." Voldemort stroked her cheek, passing Patch over. "And he's fine."

Wang Mu held him tight, still crying, and Voldemort looked over at the mother who was still pretty much oblivious, and clenched his jaw. "I'm going to talk to them, actually. Because that wasn't nice at all, huh?"

"Mean." Wang Mu sniffled, her eyes still extremely watery.

"Yeah, it was. Totally out of line. Especially seeing as she's much bigger than you." Voldemort soothingly rubbed Wang's back, waiting until she calmed down a little. "And then I'll get you an ice cream for being so brave."

"It hurts, Papaaa."

"I know, kiddo, but you're doing great. It'll be absolutely fine, I promise. Now, c'mon, let's go have a talk with them." He lifted her from the bench and she clung onto his hand tightly as they walked over. "Hey, excuse me." He began to the mother. "But your kid took my daughter's toy."

The mother glanced at him, and then at Patch in Wang Mu's hand. "Well, she gave it back, right?"

"Right." Voldemort replied tersely. "But she's blatantly older and tried to take advantage of a three year old."

"My daughter's only seven. She was just trying to have fun." The mother dismissed, and her daughter smiled next to her.

"She took her toy right from her hands and was gonna keep it. That's basically stealing." Voldemort narrowed his eyes. "I'd like her to apologise, please."

The mother sighed heavily, rolling her eyes. "Natasha, say sorry."

The girl copied her mother's sigh, before looking at Wang Mu. "Sorry."

Voldemort huffed slightly as he gestured. "Shouldn't she be in school, anyway?"

The mother raised an eyebrow. "Training day at the school, not that it's any of your business." Just then her phone rang. "This is another business call, are we done?"

Still not exactly satisfied, but realising there was going to be no other outcome, Voldemort nodded stiffly. "We're done. See you around." He moved onwards, still holding onto Wang's hand. "Hopefully not though." He added in an undertone. "Ugh. Let's get you an ice cream."

"Choc'late." Wang Mu mumbled tearfully as Voldemort helped her back into her stroller.
"Yeah, sweetie. Chocolate ice cream. We can get it by the lake and see the ducks." Normally that would make her excited, but the poor thing still looked extremely upset. Probably shaken up. Voldemort really, really hoped Quirrell wouldn't be out late, because he knew she'd want a hug from the two of them once they were home. "Is Patch ok?"

"Sad." She replied quietly, holding the toy close.

"That's not good. He doesn't need to be sad, though. He's safe."

Wang Mu shrugged, and Voldemort smiled at her. "Hey, about using your pacifier, huh? That helps you relax, doesn't it?"

She sniffled slightly. "Didn't want it before. At home."

"Yeah, but I brought it with me just in case, remember? Papa knows what's up." He retrieved from the backpack, holding it up. "You want it?"

She nodded with a little sigh and he gently placed it in her mouth, causing her to immediately recline back, Patch still tightly gripped in her hands as her eyes drooped slightly.

"Better?"

She nodded again, clearly starting to calm down, and he smiled as he stood up. "That's my girl. Now let's go."

As he walked and pushed the stroller, he removed one hand to get his phone from his pocket, and gave Quirrell a call, knowing he'd be on his break right now. "Hey, please tell me you're home at the normal time today."

"Is everything alright? Did something happen?" Quirrell asked immediately. "If she got sun burn, I swear to God -"

Oh fuck, he hadn't put on the sunscreen. "'Course not, man, she's totally fine." He replied, and then cleared his throat. "But this kid tried to take Patch from her and uh, she fell trying to get him back. She's fine though, just a grazed elbow, and I got the toy back for her. But wow, some kids are just -"

"Are you serious? Is she ok? You packed bandaids and stuff, right? Have you cleaned it, 'cause that could get infected -"

"Whoa, slow down." Voldemort rolled his eyes. "Of course I cleaned it and out a bandaid on it. Kids fall over all the time."

"Is she hurt anywhere else, though? And I hope you said something to that kid's parent or guardian or whatever!"

"I did, but she was useless. Look, chill out, everything's fine. Just, please come home on time, alright? Or at least tell me what you're up to, because it's not fair."

There was a small pause, and Quirrell sighed. "Ok, please don't laugh at me."

Well, that got Voldemort interested. "Why would I do that? C'mon, just tell me."

"I, um..." Quirrell took a deep breath, 'I started a yoga class."

There was a pause. "What?"

"I started a class, for like, helping with the stress and anxiety..." He hesitated again. "But, y'know, it's actually getting way too hard. There are so many advanced stretches and stuff."

A smile was starting to spread across Voldemort's face. "Oh?"

"So I was thinking, I might just be lazy and buy a DVD tutorial. So then I can get home on time and not stay out late anymore."

Voldemort snorted, mostly out of surprise than anything else, and Quirrell's voice darkened. "I knew you'd laugh at me. Screw you."

"Nooo, man." Voldemort drawled, chuckling slightly. "I think it's a good idea. It's meant to be really calming and stuff, right? I just can't believe you didn't even mention it. And that you - started a class in secrets." He laughed properly at that, and realised he should really stop. But for some reason, it seemed so funny. "Ugh, don't - don't hate me! But you're quitting your class 'cause - it's getting too hard? Isn't that the point of - of it?"

"I hate you so much right now."

"And I love you too. Go buy a DVD tutorial, you dork. I'll see you at home." He disconnected the call, still laughing as they reached the lake. "Oh, Wang, your Daddy is the funniest guy ever and I love him." He said as he moved to the front of the stroller and helped her out of it. She still had her pacifier in, and seemed quite content to keep sucking it, so she just nodded in agreement. "Like, he's just perfect. Staying out late to do yoga in secret, ugh!" His stomach was actually starting to hurt. This had completely made his day. "Undercover yoga. Wow. He's amazing."

Still giggling a little, he took Wang 's hand and pointed at all the ducklings in the water. "See 'em? Aren't they cute? Your Daddy and I used to come here all the time when we were younger. And he would always ask if we could get a duckling. I swear he wants every type of cute animal he sees." He sighed affectionately, just reminiscing. "Ah, the old days when I got a full night's sleep." Except not always, not with Quirrell's nightmares back then, but whatever. "And he would always get tired out easily, so whenever we went on long walks I sometimes carried him on my back halfway home. That was when he was much lighter, but don't tell him that. Not like he's heavy or anything, but..."

Wang Mu mumbled something around the pacifier and nodded, looking intently at the ducklings and squirming slightly. Clearly Quirrell wasn't the only one who wanted a duck.

"He's still so adorable. And gorgeous. I don't think I tell him that enough anymore. We're always so...busy." He frowned slightly. When was the last time they'd spent some quality time together, or been all loved-up? It seemed like forever. He suddenly felt a little sad, and he tried to shake himself out of it. When he got home he'd give Quirrell all the attention he deserved. "So! Ice cream? You're gonna need to take that pacifier out of your mouth, kiddo."

Wang Mu immediately took the pacifier out and handed it to Voldemort expectantly, who wrinkled his nose slightly before putting it in its small box. "Lovely. How's that elbow of yours?"

Wang Mu sighed solemnly as she patted it. "Sore."

"Aw, honey. Nothing some ice cream won't fix though, right? Let's go."

XxX

"How's my girl?" Was the first thing Quirrell said as he entered the house, and Wang Mu instantly toddled up to him.

"Daddyyy! Look!" She dramatically pointed to her elbow and Quirrell bent down to bundle her up in a hug.

"My baby. Is it sore?" He kissed the side of her head, making her giggle.

"Better. Papa put the bandaid on."

Quirrell glanced up and gave Voldemort a smile. "Yeah, he's a gem, huh?"

Voldemort smiled back at him, still feeling incredibly loved-up all of a sudden. Wow, Quirrell was so beautiful. And just an amazing guy overall. "I try. Did you get that DVD?"

The smile fell from Quirrell's face and he huffed, even though Voldemort totally hadn't been making fun of him. Fuck. "Yes, thank you. You can laugh at me some more later." He stood up, taking Wang Mu's hand. "Did you have fun today?"

"Ice cream and fun." Wang Mu nodded happily. "And ducks!"

Quirrell looked back at Voldemort in surprise. "You went to the lake?"

Voldemort nodded, almost feeling shy for some reason. "Yeah. The ducklings are out. I figured she'd like it. We always did."

Quirrell smiled at him fondly before turning his attention back to Wang Mu. "I'm glad you had a good time, sweetie. You're gonna need a proper bath later, though." He ruffled her hair as he sat down on the couch, picking her up and placing her on his lap. "We're gonna need to look at that elbow too, hold on..."

"Daddyyy!" Wang yelled as Quirrell carefully began peeling the bandaid off. "It hurts!"

"I know, I'm sorry, but you can't keep it in forever. You need to change it." He looked at her grazed elbow, kissing her cheek sympathetically. "Aw, that'll be just fine."

"Hurts. Lots."

"Nothing some kisses won't heal." Quirrell replied, kissing her cheek again, before taking a look at Patch, who had been left on the floor. "Wow, that toy needs a bath too..."

"Yeah, she really wanted to take him out, I couldn't say no." Voldemort felt he had to add as he picked the toy up. "Sorry, man."

"Why're you apologising?" Quirrell asked with a small frown. "It's not a problem. I'm just annoyed someone had the nerve to try and take him."

"I know, right? It was ridiculous." Voldemort huffed. "And the mother, don't get me started. Completely useless."

Quirrell shook his head in annoyance, before giving Wang Mu's cheek another kiss and setting her back on the floor. He then grimaced slightly and rubbed at his neck, causing Voldemort to instantly sit at his side.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, it's just..." Quirrell pulled a face. "It's been hurting all day, like I've strained something. Probably the stupid yoga."

"Aw, that's no good." Voldemort soothingly began rubbing Quirrell's neck, easing out the tense spot. "I can give you a full-body massage later..."

Quirrell snorted. "Oh, sure."

"What? Why's that so strange?" Voldemort asked with a small frown. "I can do that. I do do that!"

"Yeah, let me think..." Quirrell drawled. "How long since you've taken the time and effort to even rub my shoulders?"

Voldemort's face fell completely. "That's not true, man."

"I'm kidding, kind of." Quirrell batted his hand. "I get it. Things are stressful."

"Yeah, but - they don't have to be." Voldemort said quickly. "Y'know, I've been thinking about that all day. About you. How great you are."

Quirrell glanced at him, his eyes softening as he smiled almost shyly. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Because you are, you're so great, and I -"

"Daddies! Daddy, papa! Have an idea." Wang Mu toddled up to the two of them, patting Quirrell's knees.

"Sure, kid." Voldemort replied. "What's your idea?"

"Cakes. Make cakes together."

"Wow." Voldemort replied, continuing to rub Quirrell's neck, occasionally kissing it too, which made Quirrell giggle. Just the sound maybe Voldemort grin widely. "That's a cool idea. But I don't think we have the stuff for cakes."

"Daddies, pleeease make cakes." Wang Mu insisted. "Hurt elbow."

"Oh, so a cake will make your elbow better?" Quirrell responded. "Sounds accurate to me. But only if you help us."

Wang Mu beamed up at him, and then poked Voldemort's knee. "Papa. Stop kissing."

"Make me." Voldemort replied, cupping Quirrell's face and giving him a soft kiss on the lips. Quirrell let out a small, surprised sound before responding eagerly.

"Daddies, no. Daddies!" Wang yelled in annoyance, hitting Voldemort's knee. "Stop that."

Quirrell just nuzzled his face in Voldemort's neck. "Yeah, sure, in a minute."

Voldemort grinned, gently placing a hand on the back of Quirrell's head. "Don't worry, Wang, we'll make cakes. Promise."

"Now."

"Whoa there, give us a moment." Voldemort rubbed Quirrell's back. "Your Daddy's tired."

"Nah, I'm fine." Quirrell replied, lifting his head to give Voldemort a small kiss, still giggling. "But I'm no good at baking, so..."

"Don't say that, you can bake. It'll be fun, c'mon," Voldemort nuzzled his nose, sighing softly at how nice this closeness was. He'd missed it. "And Wang can help us out, can't you?"

"Yes." Wang excitedly clapped her small hands. "Choc'late?"

"She learned that sweet tooth from you." Voldemort told Quirrell, still holding him close. "Told you we shouldn't have introduced her to candy 'til she was ten."

"What kind of childhood is that, though?" Quirrell replied playfully, before gently pinching Voldemort's side. "Right, time for you to work your cake magic."

"If you insist..." Voldemort said as he stood up, taking Quirrell's hands and just smiling at him for a moment. "You're beautiful."

"Oh my God, stop." Quirrell laughed. "What's with you today?"

"I mean it. I used to call you beautiful every day, and it's true. Why did I stop?"

"'Cause we're older and boring. We were basically kids then." Quirrell dismissed.

"They were good times." Voldemort murmured, beginning to feel sad all over again. "Not like times aren't good now, obviously. But I was sweet, wasn't I? I treated you good."

"You still treat me good, you big loser." Quirrell scolded, his expression softening. "What's wrong, Voldemort?"

"I...I don't know." Voldemort said pathetically. "I love you. You know that though, right?"

"Of course. Right back at you."

Voldemort grinned widely, feeling himself blush. "Hey, honey, how about...how about..."

"Daddies!" Wang Mu had already toddled to the kitchen and was clearly growing impatient.

"Hold that thought." Quirrell told him with a warm smile. "We have all the time in the world."

Voldemort smiled back, biting his lip. "No, but - let me ask just one thing first. It's gonna sound stupid, but I'd love it if you taught me some yoga moves."

Quirrell raised his eyebrows. "You're not making fun of me?"

"Absolutely not. I want to see what you can do."

"It's a deal." Quirrell said after a moment, and laughed. "This'll be fun. As long as we have red wine to keep us motivated."

"It's a date then." Voldemort replied as they entered the kitchen. "Alright! Cakes to help Wang's elbow."

It took over an hour, because Wang Mu demanded to help for every task, standing on a chair so she could see the counter. It all worked out though, and she got her cake, and then a much-needed bath.

She was sitting on the living room floor in her pyjamas, watching TV as Quirrell and Voldemort sat up on the couch, Voldemort holding one of Quirrell's hands and lightly tracing his thumb over his knuckles, when she suddenly gasped. "Harry!"

"Hm?" Quirrell asked sleepily, resting his head on Voldemort's shoulder.

"Harry! Daddies!" Wang Mu excitedly scrambled to her feet and toddled towards the screen, where Harry Potter was in some sort of muggle advertisement.

Voldemort's jaw dropped. "What the -" He stopped himself just in time. "What's Potter doing on my TV?"

"Harry!" Wang squealed, cupping her face. "Daddy, look!"

"I'm looking, sweetie." Quirrell replied, giving Voldemort a small look to tell him not to spoil Wang's mood. "That's awesome. Good for him!"

"Good for - Quirrell!" Voldemort couldn't stop himself from snapping, but Quirrell quickly shut him up with a kiss.

"Guitaaar." Wang clapped as Potter finished singing about whatever it was he wanted muggles to buy. "I love yooou!"

"Oh my God, I'm gonna scream." Voldemort hissed, his hold on Quirrell's hand tightening. "Our daughter is his biggest fan. That boy is on my TV screen singing. This can't be happening."

"I just wanna know why he's in a toothpaste commercial." Quirrell admitted. "And so what if she likes him? Every kid has an idol."

"No. No, no, Quirrell, c'mon. You're on my side!"

"'Course I am, idiot." Quirrell rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying, there's no harm in it. It's been years."

"And when she gets older and hears about what we did to each other?"

"What, your dumbass revenge on a twelve year old? She'll probably laugh. Anyway, Wang, time for bed."

"Oh, Daddyyy!"

"It's getting late, c'mon. And you've had a busy day." Quirrell stood to pick her up, and kissed her cheek. "Patch is already in bed, so you'd better join him."

"Did you see? Harry!"

"I did, sweetie."

"We read his books."

"We do. You need the next one, though. Maybe a birthday present."

"Pleeease!" Wang Mu gasped excitedly, and Voldemort clenched both his fists and breathed shakily through his nose.

"Mmhm, but you'll need to wait until then. Say goodnight to Papa."

"G'night." Wang said as she snuggled against Quirrell. "Papa? G'night!"

"What? Uh, yeah, goodnight." Voldemort replied, rubbing his jaw.

"Love Harry, but love you more." Wang told him, and Quirrell gave Voldemort a smug look. "G'night. See you soon?"

"You'll see me tomorrow morning, silly." Voldemort grinned. "Just sleep well and try to stay asleep for the whole night, deal?"

"Mmkay." Wang mumbled as Quirrell took her upstairs and got her ready for bed. Once she was tucked up with Patch, Quirrell left the room and went back downstairs with a triumphant look.

"See? She's your biggest fan, not Harry's. Within a year she'll be bored of him, I guarantee it. Now…I got this yoga DVD somewhere, if you were serious…"

"I was totally serious." Voldemort assured him, already grinning. "Lemme get wine."

XxX

The next hour consisted of a lot of painful stretches, which were made worse considering they were both getting just a little bit drunk. "Noo!" Quirrell attempted to straighten Voldemort's knee. "Look, look up at what the person on the screen's doing…"

"I am!" Voldemort retorted, giggling. "Ugh! You do it, go on."

"Right, lookit…" Quirrell got himself in the right position, biting his lip. "Oow…"

"Not gonna lie, this is hot." Voldemort told him as he observed him. "Hey, y'know she's also doing the easy option on the TV?"

"The easy option is for the weak." Quirrell gasped back. "I got it, I got it, no – cramp!"
Voldemort laughed, helping him sit up properly. "You good?"

"My thighs are burning…"

"Oh, shush, you're the one who bought this thing…" Voldemort soothingly rubbed Quirrell's thighs, and then leaned in to kiss him, parting with a dopey grin. "Hey, you look so gorgeous."

"Shut up! My face is probably all red." Quirrell tapped Voldemort's nose, humming slightly. "No, y'know who's gorgeous? You."

"Reeally? I've been working out even more, have you noticed?"

"I have, sweetie, I have…"

"Like, I don't wanna get too big round the arms, that's creepy, but I'm looking pretty good, right?"

"Beautiful."

They kissed again, and then each of them sighed. "You know what'd be nice?" Voldemort then said, taking his wine glass and topping it up. "If we took this to the bedroom…"

"What, the yoga or the wine?" Quirrell snorted.

"Weeell, the wine's good. And the yoga good be used, if you get what I meeean…" Voldemort raised both his eyebrows, and Quirrell nodded.

"Oooh, I get it, I get it…Been a while, though."

"Yeah, what's with that? Like, really? It's so great with you."

"And whenever we do it lately it's like so quick, like that's your lot." Quirrell attempted to click his fingers. "Where's the making love bit gone?"

"It's right here, baby." Voldemort drawled, taking Quirrell's hand. "Just…hasn't been used in a while. So, you wanna?"

"Duuh. But we gotta Muffiato and go slow, 'cause this yoga is so tiring and my thighs are like…Nah." Quirrell switched the TV off, and clumsily stood up. "Shall we?"

Voldemort kissed his hand. "We shall. Squirrel, from now on, I'm making way more effort. I mean it. 'Cause you deserve some loving."

"We both do."

"Alrighty, then. Let's make that a reality." Voldemort said as he tugged him upstairs. "'Cause it's only gonna improve from here. Promise."