NOTES: I have taken into account your reviews to improve this chapter, so thanks. :) Now, I have a question, I am not sure if you would like to have eh… more heated scenes or not. I would really like to know your opinion because I've noticed that TSOM fanfic does not usually explore smut.
Ok, this chapter will be a little intense so please let me know what you think.
Chapter 10 -- Battle
Maria stepped back and Georg simply closed the door again, irefully.
"What are you doing!" she exclaimed, "Frau Schmidt may think…"
"And she wouldn't be wrong, would she?"
"Of course she would," Maria replied barely giving him time to speak.
Georg smiled. "Before we continue with this discussion care to explain to me exactly what would it be that terrible thing that Frau Schmidt is thinking?" he said, a playful glimmer in his eyes.
That confused Maria. He knew perfectly well what she meant and yet he was intending to embarrass her by obliging her to say it out loud. So she kept her silence for long seconds and both looked at each other as two contenders in a sword duel.
"Well, I doubt you have gone into the rest of the employees' bedrooms after midnight and shouted at the top of your lungs within closed doors, have you?"
"No, I haven't. You're right in that assumption."
"And banging the door in the nose of an elderly person who only means good is plain rude."
"I have far more pressing problems I need to address right now; besides, worrying about the headcount of women indignant with me tonight seems futile. I don't care."
"But I do care. Frau Schmidt is a kind and very respectable person who doesn't deserve such harshness," Maria exclaimed. "I thought you had changed."
Georg emitted a groan and turned, supporting himself at a bureau for a moment. He sighed, collected himself for a few seconds, and finally smiled at her. "Why is it that I can never have the upper hand in a conversation with you, Maria?" he seemed perplex.
She smiled too, against her better judgment, and looked down when she caught his eyes, that were laughing now.
"All right, I am sorry. I'll talk to her tomorrow," Georg offered.
The atmosphere relaxed a little. Maria made a funny face at him and put her bag over the bed. Next, she approached her table filling a glass of water. Her throat was very dry.
"Do you want one too, sir?"
Georg stared at her and wondered if she was letting him win and had decided to stay. Somehow he doubted it. "Yes, if it's not a problem."
"Not at all," she finished her glass, refilled it and passed it to him.
The captain drank cherishing the fact that they were sharing the same glass. It was something unusual and intimate.
He didn't know how to continue the argument. And he was far from finding an opening to introduce the very topic that had brought him to her room that night; in fact, everything considered he was sure she would rebuff him.
Georg had never been in such a position in his entire life. What he wanted, he had. It had been like that since he was a child. He belonged to a rich family, he had gotten the hand of Agathe and it had been simple, it had been meant to be; no problems or difficult decisions had been made. Just like even during his military career everybody had bent to his superior energy and command--even the enemy.
"You know what the problem is, Maria?"
She was looking at him with a worried look on her face and shook her head.
He continued, "We are too alike".
"Oh captain, we are nothing alike," she replied, not sure it was a safe path of conversation.
"Maybe not on the surface, you are a happy sweet woman, twenty years younger than me and yet…under that seemingly feeble exterior, a strength of iron is hidden."
"I am sure some people would call it other name," Maria joked.
"You are terribly stubborn and nobody can really contradict you; you end up having your way. Funny thing, that could have described me until a couple of months ago. But you are stronger than me, and before you deny it--as I see you about to do--let me finish."
Maria stood midair with her mouth half open.
"You come over and put the house upside down, or better said, you put it upside up again. Nobody can resist you. You're only a youngster, yet you are also like a force of nature, coming and wining over the kids in a few hours with your sweetness and charm."
He saw her cheeks go pink with the compliment.
"They only needed love and comprehension."
"True! But at least, changing me was a little more difficult, don't you think? That is my consolation," he was smiling bitterly, making fun of himself.
"You helped me as much as I may have helped you. Living with your family was very important to me. You see, my childhood was not the happiest of experiences," Maria replied.
She didn't say more although she read avid interest in Georg's expression; the less personal the conversation continued it would be for the best.
"I didn't know that. I am very sorry."
"Well, I guess we know very little about each other, when everything is said and done."
"There is nothing I would like more than to remedying that fact, you know," Georg offered gently.
Maria's heart filled with longing for a moment, but immediately she strengthened herself with her earlier resolution. "That is not an option, captain. It's better not to confuse things anymore," she said softly.
"You are confused, aren't you? Then let us talk and ease that confusion."
"I don't want to," she said lowering her eyes.
Georg slammed his palm at the bureau. Talking to her was like talking to brick wall right now. He really was trying to reach her and show her his love and care, but Maria was decided not to allow him.
She jumped, surprised at his frustration. "Well, yes, I am confused. Who wouldn't be?" The young woman walked the farthest away from him as the confines of the little room would allow.
Things were worst than she had expected, so the only thing she had found as protection was to close herself to him. But what she hadn't expected was for Georg to fight back and not let her.
"You were giving this party for Baroness Schraeder and then we ended up…" she cut herself. "Do you have any idea of how embarrassing what she said was for me?"
"Elsa didn't mean at all those words. She was only upset at the moment."
Maria didn't know what she had expected, but probably it hadn't been for him to defend the baroness.
"Then I must leave immediately, if you are to make amends with her," she said so low that he could barely hear her last statement.
"Never worry about that, Maria. Elsa and I had a very civil conversation and made a mutual decision of ending up our friendship. To try a closer relation than that was an ill-fated idea from the start. It would never have worked out anyway." Georg explained, hopeful.
"You did that?" Maria stopped short, trying to understand what the situation now was.
He nodded.
"Captain, I am sorry if this happened merely because of me."
Georg was paralyzed at her declaration. "You are?"
Maria nodded. "See, when I first arrived in this house I did hear about your intention of marrying the baroness and then I understood that my mission here was to prepare the children for a new mother."
By the expression of his face, she could see that her words had hurt him, but she felt she needed to say what was nagging her.
"Now I just can't reconcile myself with the fact that in the end, it was for my fault that they won't have one!" Maria turned her back to him and hunched over her bag.
Georg was shaken. Did this mean that Maria didn't return his feelings? She had worked towards helping his family to adopt Elsa as a mother. Taking into account what had happened that night and his feelings the idea was bizarre and painful, to say the least.
"Maybe you misunderstood your mission... You see, Elsa was never the motherly type and I doubt that her addition to the family would have changed that fact."
That was true, Maria thought. The baroness wasn't close or showed any affection to the children, for what she saw. But everything was so confusing!
His eyes bored into hers. "Don't you understand? Although I hate to say this, you need to know it: if I ever entertained such a thought it was because I was scared of having a real feeling for someone…just like I avoided getting involved with my children." His eyes were so blue that Maria got lost in them.
Maria bit her lower lip and let an uncertain expression show in her eyes. He felt he was gaining a little more terrain.
"Even if that is true, captain, a good does not correct a bad. The thing I did was wrong. I pledged my life to the Lord's service," she said wanting to leave her bedroom that she felt was reducing in space at each passing second.
The attraction that emanated from his gaze was beginning to invade her again, although she was decided not to give in to it for a second time.
"The thing you did? I thought it was the two of us who were involved, not only you. And why is it that you have to always refer to it only with allusions? Why not call it with its proper name? What we did was to kiss madly, passionately; to hold each other; to give in to the need that has been burning in me for I don't know how long…" Georg declared, relishing in the fact that he was shocking her.
"Just stop!" she closed her eyes and shouted.
"So what will you do now Maria? Run to the abbey and do as if it never happened? Will you try and hide there from your feelings and from life?"
"Yes. No! It wouldn't be hiding! But yes I am returning. Right now." She held tight her bag once again and frisked past him towards the door.
"You are returning if the mother Abbess allows you to," his voice stopped her on her tracks. "Which I don't think she will, after she learns about tonight. I doubt she would approve of postulants who only return to hide away from the person they are secretly attracted to." He bit his lips to hide his playful smile.
"Oh no, how she would know anyway!" Maria answered worried by his declarations.
"So you wouldn't tell her yourself, Maria? I am shocked."
She felt he was playing with her, and didn't reply.
"Well then she would know because I would tell her, of course," he added matter-of-factly.
That froze Maria. "You really wouldn't do that, would you? "
"Of course I would. I am a selfish bastard."
"But why would you! Don't you realize it would affect your own reputation as well as mine?"
"We haven't done anything that wasn't natural between a man and a woman. Please don't expect me to repent and feel guilty. Maybe you'd like to think that you're over the weaknesses of the flesh, or the human race, but I am more grounded in reality. Perhaps you'd like to become a saint, Maria?"
"No, of course not! I have never pretended to be a saint or an angel. On the contrary!"
"So why you want to neglect the feelings a normal woman has? I know what you felt, I had you trembling in my arms and it wasn't of fear!"
"That is not true!" she shouted, just wanting mindlessly to negate everything.
"It is not true? Do you mean to tell me that I made you put your arms around me, your fingers through my hair and press your body against mine? That your heart beat so fast and so hard I could hear it, and it was just out of fear?"
Maria merely moaned softly, incapable of reply.
Georg took her bag away from her hands, let if fall to the floor and pressed both his arms to the door, framing her face and imprisoning her. He looked into her eyes with a melancholic stare and then touched her forehead with his, getting silent for long seconds, while enjoying that simple contact with eyes closed.
"Are you helpless now?" Georg questioned. "Am I forcing you, Maria?"
"I don't want to…" she replied, not being able to finish the sentence.
"Did you enjoy our dance together?" Georg asked.
Maria had her eyes closed too, a thousand feelings coursing through her. Georg leaned slightly closer and ran his lips very lightly over her left cheek, feeling her tremble like moved by a soft wind.
His warm breath was intoxicating. Maria opened her eyes and let out air in irregular gasps that talked louder than any words. Georg moved his mouth traveling to the corner of hers lovingly.
She was tortured. It was physically impossible for her not to open her mouth a little bit and move it towards his to invite his full contact. Georg accepted the invitation immediately and they ravaged each other in the middle of moans of relief.
He guided her arms around his neck and then embraced her waist, gathering her to him and pressing her to the door not letting go even to breathe.
When he finally broke for a second to let her get air, he repeated her name over and over, softly and full of love.
Maria hadn't felt like that before, it was so intense that she wanted to cry. It was wonderful to allow her hands to touch his back and travel stroking his strong shoulders, feeling the amazing contexture of his muscles, so different from anything she'd ever touched before.
She felt everything evaporate in her, her will and principles, her thoughts, and everything become a simple need.
It not only filled her body with longing but also her soul and mind. She knew now, and finally, she just couldn't repress the tears from running down her cheeks from realization.
Georg continued kissing her, too gone, until she stopped responding. Long sobs shook her whole body and he hugged her trying to hush her anguish.
Georg heard her mutter: "I can't, I can't…"
Those words broke his heart, and he pressed his lips tightly to face the blow.
"…I can't be a nun!" Maria ended up.
He let out all the air of his lungs at her declaration and its unmistakable meaning.
She fled from Georg's arms. He was too surprised to insist in consoling her.
Maria dumped over the bed and gave free way to her anguish.
It was true. She didn't have the temperament or the inclination for religious life. If she had repressed her natural feelings as a woman it had been more because she had been scared and never had found or thought herself capable of inspiring the sort of elevated love that she knew could exist between a man and a woman.
Captain Von Trapp had fought and tumbled down the barricades of her subconscious and made her face a fact that sooner or later she would have understood about herself.
Georg, on his side, felt himself slide down the door until he touched the floor.
He would let her calm down.
He wouldn't touch her; but it was killing him to see her suffer like that because of him. He felt his intentions waver.
Maria cried until she fell asleep.