Notes: I am sorry this update took so long. What can I do to make up to you?

This Sunday my country, Ecuador, lost in the World Cup of knockout round, so I am back to business. :( Well, I am a terrible fan of football.

I worked on this one a little fast, but hope you enjoy it. Again my thanks to Fran and Edelwyn. Next will be the last chapter, it's been a very long night indeed! Please leave your comments. :)

Chapter 12. Contradiction

Only silence welcomed Georg's declaration. He drew her body closer, listening to his own heartbeat, and suffering the agony of anticipation.

Maria seemed to have held her breath for minutes. She scowled, opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, but still was unable to articulate her scattered thoughts into a reasonable response.

"You don't have to say anything now, just think about it, Maria," he said, trying to ease the tension. "I know everything has been very fast. I just wanted you to rest assured about my intentions with you...I know you must have been wondering. I wouldn't expect you stay in this house as anything but my wife, after what has happened."

Maria shook her head. He seemed to have been expecting her reaction. But yet she couldn't believe her ears. The captain Von Trapp had proposed! To her! Impossible!

"I don't want to pressure you. But I do mean this." he added.

"Oh, my God!" she exclaimed at last. A thousand doubts assaulted her mind. The whole situation was…she hadn't had time enough to process most of it. If the first part of the night had been mind-blowing, now it was even worse, everything rolled out of control.

Fear illuminated her eyes. It constrained her and made her forget the easiness and budding friendship that resulted from the last hour of entertaining conversation with Georg.

"Captain, you must be joking. It's like we…kissed for the first time after dinner. How could you be sure you want me to be your wife in a matter of a few hours?" she asked puzzled.

"I've never been surer of anything before, Maria," he replied. "It feels right. Besides if I am not completely honest now, you could leave us. Nothing would have worked better to make me feel sure of my decision." His voice was soft and calming. His hand caressed her hair.

Maria wanted to put some distance between the two of them so she escaped from his embrace, and walked to stand near the window.

"I am sorry; I feel somehow I may have pushed you and me into an inconvenient situation."

"What do you mean, Maria?"

"I think you're asking me because of the kiss—kisses. Because of a mistaken sense of honor? I assure you it's no necessary to go that far!"

"What? I can't believe someone like you, Maria, could have a problem believing a man could want you because of you."

"Or maybe you're doing this because of the children?" she asked as if she hadn't heard his words.

"I won't deny that I can envision the children the happiest after their mother's death, if you become a member of this family. But no, you're mistaken; the prime reason is neither honor nor the children."

She was looking at him with a fascinated expression, hanging on his every word. He could see in her eyes she wanted to ask what that reason was, but was afraid to.

"You haven't really thought out the implications, have you?" she asked instead.

"To hell with implications."

She shivered underneath her cotton nightgown. "You said it yourself earlier, you cannot take a decision that affects so many people: you, me, the children; without a proper thinking."

Georg was bothered she remembered what he had said before and used it against him now. But he knew she was right somehow.

"I suppose first I should dissolve all your doubts. So please do share with me what it is that you reckon could go wrong?" Georg asked.

"Oh, many things!"

"Yes, so give me an example."

"We are very different people. Our circumstances couldn't be more different. For example, when I arrived to this house all I had was an old dress…"

"Well, it isn't as ugly as I thought it first," he said smiling.

"Yes, it is. But it's funny, now that I was leaving it was also all I had with me..., and it has been like this all of my life. I am nothing more than a poor peasant girl, and that is alright, I accept myself for what I am." Her very pretty face had an earnest expression. "Now look around yourself. This rich house, your fortune, your title, and high society friends…nothing of that has anything to do with me."

"So that's what really bothers you?"

"People like you don't marry people like me, captain" she said, frankly.

"Those are only worthless appearances. Things that may disappear like a whiff of smoke at any moment. Especially with the Anchluss coming." he said getting sadder by his own comment.

"Maybe. But then again, maybe not. Not for you. You are a hero of war, the entire nation knows you. You have a choice of brides among baronesses and princesses. What am I to that? I am only your governess; all I have is what you've given me. I have no right to claim a place in this family."

"On the contrary, you have every right to claim it and you know it. You should know it!"

She interrupted him softly, "Georg! Even your butler slighted me earlier when you allowed putting a chair for me. Did you happen to see his reluctance? Can you imagine what other people's reactions to the news of your marrying me would be? Because I don't think either of us would enjoy them…"

Georg loved the way his name sounded in her lips, even if she was being stubborn and unreasonable at the same time. "Are you telling me that you actually wouldn't marry me because Franz would be displeased? That's quite ridiculous. You simply cannot be serious," he looked at her and saw that she was.

"Maria, there is nothing wrong with who you are. You're the sweetest woman I could have dreamed of, in despite of that stubborn and independent strike and your love of contradicting me," he said.

She inhaled raggedly.

"However, I feel insulted you may think that economic or class convenience could have any claim on me on such an instance. I thought you had a better opinion of my character," he said, "but then again, maybe you're right and we don't know each other well enough…." The edge on his voice let her know that he was genuinely hurt.

She shook her head. "I didn't mean that as an insult, on the contrary. I am merely being realist. You cannot deny this is what would happen."

"No, that's where you're mistaken! You are better than any of the socialites down in that party! I wished I could have the eloquence to tell you how good, how perfect you are. You see, it's me, who has no a right to claim you."

"Me, perfect! Sister Berthe would really like to have a word with you, captain," Maria interposed. "However, reality still stands that I could never fit with that life."

She started pacing around the bedroom nervously. He followed her with his eyes while she talked. She was like a fair spirit in the dim moonlight that hardly illuminated the room. Her white nightgown gave her a fresh and innocent look, but still the outline of the slim body was that of woman underneath, and the soft curves made him sigh deeply.

"I understand what you feel completely, Maria. Don't think I don't. Do you believe I am fully at ease with that world? No. That has never really been my element. I belong here, in this house, with the mountains and the nature and a simpler life."

"Then how could you have possibly spent the best part of the last years in Vienna?" she asked, curious.

"Good questions, isn't it?" Georg smiled and a reflection of light glimmered in his eye. "I was trying to forget that I had not a reason to be here. Now, you think I would drag you around Vienna to spend your time in idle dissipation? Never. " He stood up from the bed too and leaned against a wall.

"I…I don't know what I think!" she said clearly overwhelmed with the idea.

He continued, sharing his mental image with her. "I want you here in this house with me, sharing happiness and love, seeing and helping the children to grow up…having more if Gods sees it fit." He let out that last part a little hesitantly.

Maria's voice was coarse as if her throat had gone dry, "I've never considered having children of my own!" She moved her hands forwards as if to emphasize her words.

"Why not? You love children and I see so much adoration for you in their eyes that one would think they are your little slaves, especially Friedrich," Georg said with a hint of irony.

"Captain!" Maria interjected.

"Well it's true; but I understand him. It's not like I didn't fall under the spell as well."

She stopped her pacing and stood right in front of him. He grabbed her hand tenderly.

"I am now probably thinking more of my happiness than of yours. But I do promise I'd do everything and try to make you happy."

Maria felt his hand caress her and start to go up her wrist, heard his irregular and soft breathing and she started to tremble inside. He finally kissed her palm.

The very idea of having children with Georg was disconcerting; it brought into perspective the reality of what they were talking about.

While being a wife remained as some immaterial and rather serious thing, having a child with the amazing man that she admired and felt such an intense attraction to, stirred her deeply in a way she hadn't felt before. He was offering the ultimate level of intimacy, of trust. Maria felt compelled towards him.

This time it was she who raised her face towards him and put her hand to his cheek, caressing it. He felt her body coming closer to his until they touched. She initiated a new kiss, fumbling and not realizing what she was doing. The tip of her tongue touched his upper lip.

Her unexpected action incited a masculine reaction that was strong and took Georg by surprise.

"Sweetheart..." he said lovingly. He put a hand in her back and pulled her towards him. There was uncertain need in the inexperience of her caress but the warmth, the softness of her body threatened with making his lose his mind.

"Georg!"

"I want a child, a child with you, Maria" he said between kisses.

"Please don't say anything, just…"

"Why not? It's true."

"You don't know what you're saying!" she said desperately.

He silenced her gently with the simple act of covering her mouth. His hands stroked softly her arms and back. He wanted her not to think, to stop fighting him with her mind, while it was obvious that everything else in her wanted what he did.

It was so frustrating that it made him forget how he had decided during the long hours he had sat at her doorstep, not to touch her again, to discuss things in a rational manner, like adults,. But he was so weak when it came to her that he couldn't reject her.

Maria fears told her to put an end to it now, even though all she desperately thought was 'kiss me, touch me; please don't let me go!' She clenched her mouth to keep the words in, while her fears and guilt took the better part of herself. Uncertainty.

Maria broke forcefully the kiss after a few seconds and turned her back.

"No, please don't do that anymore," she cried, "don't touch me."

Georg felt a soft wave of anger start at his chest. It had been she who had started the caress.

"I don't want you to think…." She couldn't finish it but tried again, "This doesn't mean that…"

"This doesn't mean that you care about accepting my proposal and becoming a member of this family, right?" he said with a ragged tone. "I see."

She shook her head.

"It's alright Maria." He looked away. "Now that you've decided to leave the abbey you probably want to live a little your life, eventually find someone closer to your age and without previous ties. Am I right?"

Maria swallowed; shocked that Georg could come up with something like that.

"That's mistaken on so many levels!" she said.

"Maybe you enjoyed more than I realized young Emil's advances earlier tonight?"

"No, of course not," she replied mechanically.

"Aha. Thanks for stopping me, I guess I could have gone on for hours begging you," he added with self-contempt. "It seems I've made a complete fool of myself, haven't I? I guess men of my age end up doing that sooner or later," A soft laugh accompanied his words, he sat at the bed again and hunched over his arms, that rested between his legs.

Maria could see in the faint light that his body was shaking just slightly. He was breathing in and out struggling for control. He seemed about to be sick.

It was new to see him wrestle with defeat. And it was wrong; everything in her heart and soul told her it was wrong. She felt her throat tighten with pain. Nobody talked for many minutes.

"No!" Maria broke down at last. She kneeled in front of the bed and looked up to him. "I am sorry. I didn't mean that. You got to believe it."

"You don't have to apologize. You have every right to choose your life Maria. Even if it is far away from me." He directed his beautiful and deep eyes at her. "That won't stop me. I won't stop loving you for that." His hand put away an inexistent strand of hair from her face.

"Loving me?"

"Yes, I love you. Couldn't you just tell?" he smiled sadly.

Her eyes overflowed with tears, at the declaration.

She slipped her hands between his, wanting to be the one to start a caress again, and not having the courage.

He squeezed her fingers for a second and then let them fall.

Georg had somehow steeled himself. Maria felt him slipping away and suddenly was hit by realization that she couldn't lose him now. She couldn't, because she loved him. She loved him with all her heart!

"I am sorry" she repeated. "I am just a coward!" Her eyes were cast down. "Life has taught me that I cannot get what others have. It has never meant for me. Don't you understand? I promised to myself to never try because all it could bring would be pain," Maria hesitated before continuing.

"How could you think I would want to find someone else? It's you who has accepted me into his family and gave me his approval."

"You earned it," the captain exclaimed. "And what would it have to do with anything? I don't need your gratitude, Maria."

"And I am not giving it."

"I think you've made clear that you don't feel the same."

"I haven't said anything like that."

"Then, what do you feel for me?" He said softly, hypnotizing her, drowning her again on the same wave that had kept her prisoner moments ago.

She went deeply red.

"I don't think I can…I don't have the experience to be able to explain it."

He grabbed her face with his hands. "Try to. You can trust me. Please trust me." The hypnotic quality of his words got her to another world where she was someone else, somebody who didn't feel uncomfortable talking about her intimate sensations.

"My heart suddenly stops and I cannot breath. When you look at me like this. I feel warm like a burning, but I don't know where I am burning."

"Maria."

"I want to inhale your smell, feel your warmth. I know there is something, a whole lot I don't know…and that I want to know about you. I want to know but it scares me because it's so strong. It's always been."

"Always?"