"Put sunscreen on me," Quirrell nudged Voldemort's arm expectantly, "I'm burning, I can feel it."

"Put it on yourself," Voldemort drawled lazily, lounging in the sunshine. He could get used to this kind of life.

"I can't reach my own back." Quirrell retorted, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. He then nudged Voldemort's legs apart so he could settle between them, and passed him the bottle of sunscreen. "Go!"

"Get Wang to do it."

"She's making a sand castle."

"And I'm relaxing," Voldemort replied, though he propped himself up on his elbows and admired the view of Quirrell's back for a moment. "Fine, fine. Here, move closer."

Quirrell obliged, and Voldemort sat up properly. He then ran his hand across Quirrell's warm shoulder blades, beginning to grin. "You're getting freckles."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he began to kiss his smooth skin, his lips brushing over each freckle in turn.

"You're getting distracted."

"You tend to do that to me," Voldemort admitted before focusing on the task at hand. Once done, he kissed the back of Quirrell's neck, wrapping his arms around his torso. "I love Orlando."

"You've mentioned that," Quirrell said, but he was smiling. "Me too. I mean, it took forever to raise the money, so it had to be good, but this is…Amazing. Look at this beach. Look at my tan. I never tan!"

Voldemort huffed a small laugh, looking at his unnaturally pale arms against Quirrell's skin. "Rub it in, man. I'm physically incapable of it."

"Ah, hey," Quirrell attempted to dismiss. "Tanning's overrated. That's why I'm putting on all this sunscreen." He gazed over at Wang Mu, who was enthusiastically castle building. Her toy, Patch, had come along for the vacation, but by the looks of him he was one more swim away from falling apart. "That dog's been through some shit," Quirrell commented after a moment of silence.

"Patch'll be lucky if he survives the trip," Voldemort agreed. "Still. Nothing Reparo can't fix."

"You think she'll soon stop liking it so much? She's eight. Do kids stop playing with dolls when they're, I don't know, ten?"

"I don't think that's a rule." Voldemort said, as Quirrell shifted so that they were facing each other. "Why? You're not getting down about a toy, are you?"

He pursed his lips before slowly shaking his head. "I…Guess I don't want things to change just yet."

"Who says they are?" Voldemort tapped Quirrell's nose. "One thing at a time. Like Harry Potter world. Y'know, apparently they have a fake Hogwarts and everything."

"And Butterbeer," Wang Mu had approached them, covered in sand as she collapsed on the towel they were sitting on. "But I heard it's just cream soda."

"It is," Quirrell informed her. "The real stuff is ten times better than any cream soda, trust me."

She tilted her head, her dark hair falling across her shoulders. "When can I have some of the real Butterbeer?"

"Not for a while yet, baby." Quirrell told her, but he was smiling. "Nice sandcastle, by the way."

"Eh. It's ok." She said. "I didn't really finish. I need to get more sea shells for it."

"I can help you look," Voldemort suggested, even though he was already lying down again and clearly had no intention of getting up. "We can make the most kickass sandcastle on this whole beach."

"Language," Quirrell murmured, helping Wang Mu tie her hair up. It was getting so long.

"You're a bad example, Papa," Wang grinned, and he huffed in response.

"Don't you know it, kid."

"So you're going to help make my castle great?"

"What'd I just say? Kick. Ass."

Quirrell frowned over at him, and hit Voldemort's leg. "Quit it! I'm serious. Go and help her, and zip your mouth."

He pushed himself up again slowly, and even though he was wearing sunglasses, Quirrell could tell he was rolling his eyes. As if he'd read Quirrell's thoughts, he took of his glasses and threw them into Quirrell's lap. "Look after those. They're Ray Bans."

Quirrell picked them up carefully – they were way nicer than his own – and then he was smiling as Voldemort pressed a kiss to the side of his head as he stood up.

"Look after Patch, too!" Wang Mu insisted, throwing her toy at him, which he managed to catch with one hand, impressing himself. He could've totally been a Chaser.

"I'll guard them with my life," he said, and then picked up his novel to treat himself to a few more chapters. It wasn't the best book he'd ever read, but the plot was cute, so he was soon pretty immersed in it.

Until a bucket of freezing sea water was poured over his head. "What the shit!" He yelped, recoiling back as he flailed his arms about. "Holy shit! What the –"

"Hey, language!" Voldemort said triumphantly through his laughter, shaking the remnants of water out of Wang Mu's bucket onto Quirrell. Wang was giggling so hard that she ultimately had to sit down.

"That – is not funny!" Quirrell warned, shaking his hair and tousling it. "That's freezing, oh my God, you are such an –" He cut himself off just in time, and then threw him a killer glare, before trying to maintain as much dignity he could. "You are so gonna pay for that. You are – "

"Yeah, I know," Voldemort grinned, throwing him a towel. "But I think it was worth it."

"You scream like a girl," Wang Mu said gleefully. "Like a baby."

"Thank you," Quirrell retorted, rubbing his wet face with the towel. "Screaming like a girl shouldn't be an insult."

"Then you scream like a…like a ghost," she supplied. "Is that better?"

"It'll do. Please forget the words I screamed, though." He wrapped the towel around himself, shivering a little. "You're a jerk, Voldemort."

"Ah, now you're just hurting my feelings," he placed a hand over his heart, but he did get another towel to help him out. "Sorry. Couldn't resist."

"Don't sulk," Wang added, taking his hand and spreading her fingers against his open palm. "You can get revenge later. But don't throw me in the sea, 'cause if there are sharks, that'll be really scary."

"I'd never do that," Quirrell assured her. "But you don't need to worry about sharks."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Ok," she said, then frowned. "My hand is so small compared to yours."

"Nah, I just have long fingers."

Voldemort snorted slightly at that, and Quirrell resisted the urge to hit his leg again. Wang Mu didn't seem to notice, because she then brushed her fingers across the marks on Quirrell's wrist. "Does it hurt in the sun?"

"Huh?" He asked, and then shook his head immediately. "No! Not at all. Still got to put on sunscreen, though. Speaking of, put some more on your face."

"Am I burning?"

"No, but you can't be too careful." He dabbed some of the cream across her cheekbones, and grinned. "You're getting really brown, I'm getting freckles, and your Papa looks just the same."

"Don't see you complaining." Voldemort smirked, "So, seeing as I got you all wet –" He trailed off as Quirrell threw him another warning glare, and then laughed a little. "Seeing as I poured a bucket of water over you, I'm going for a swim before you act on your revenge."

"Careful of sharks!" Wang Mu called after him, and then nestled herself comfortably against Quirrell. "He's not gonna get brown like us?"

"He can't, really," Quirrell said. "It's just the way his body is. Not like it's a bad thing, though."

"He'd look kinda weird if he was tan," Wang said, which made him laugh. "Still. I want him to look like me just a little bit."

"Y'know, when you were a baby, your nose was flat," Quirrell began, tapping her nose for emphasis. "And he loved that. 'Cause you matched."

"It's still kinda flat," she acknowledged, and then smiled. "Really? Did he say that? We matched?"

"He did. So, there you go. You look more alike than you think, even if you don't have our blood in you."

She paused, and looked up at him. "And you and I have brown eyes."

"Uh-huh, and they're so pretty. We both have dark hair, too, but yours is darker."

"And we're all magic."

"See? We're all alike in our own ways, even if we're different. That's what makes a family." He gently stroked her cheek, smiling. "I still don't appreciate that little prank you pulled with your Papa, though."

"You're not still cold, are you? It's so sunny!"

He laughed. "I take a while to get warm."

"And I'm so hot. Can I buy a soda? Please?"

"Just one, 'cause it's a holiday. Pass me my wallet." She did, and he found a few muggle dollar bills. "Ok, go to the vendor over there, and get me an ice cream too."

"Chocolate?"

"Definitely." He told her, and picked up his book again.

XxX

In all honesty, Voldemort had expected Harry Potter World to be a total joke, albeit an aggravating one. He still hadn't been sure if it was the wisest idea for him to go, but it was crowded with muggle tourists so he didn't exactly feel threatened about being exposed by anybody.

"It's nothing like this," he felt the need to tell Wang Mu as she gaped in awe at the muggle constructed Hogsmeade. "I mean, this is…actually kind of cool, so the real one is ten times better."

"Why don't you ever take me to the real one?" She asked, but then thankfully got distracted by a bunch of people in wizard robes selling fake Butterbeer.

"It is just cream soda, right?" Quirrell ultimately had to ask one of the workers as Wang Mu started clamouring for one. The girl winked as she poured a cup, and Quirrell smiled back. "Then I'll have one too. Vo – Uh, Joe? You want one?"

"I'm good," he replied. Some real Butterbeer would've been appreciated, not cream soda charged five dollars per cup. Muggles.

"Are you enjoying your visit?" The girl handed over the cups, the bright smile fixated on her face. Was that a rule here? Did they have to be happy to keep their jobs? No witch actually smiled like that.

"Oh, totally!" Quirrell grinned back. "Any places you recommend?"

"Well, if you go to Ollivander's, you can find out what your wand is," she suggested. "Plus, you get to see all the famous characters' wands!"

Wang Mu glanced up from her drink, licking her lips. "For real?"

"Sure! Harry Potter's, Ron Weasley's, Dumbledore's…"

"Voldemort's?" Voldemort asked dryly.

"Of course, duh," she laughed playfully. "You should check it out! Then there's the rides, but it's always a really long line, so if I were you I'd visit the shops first."

Voldemort glanced over at the fake Hogwarts, where a huge queue of people were already standing. "So, is it a decent rollercoaster?" He felt the need to ask.

"Oh my gosh," she responded enthusiastically. "It's like you're actually flying. It's incredible."

Wang Mu beamed at him expectantly. "We have to go on it, Papa. We have to!"

"Sure," he agreed, though he did glance at Quirrell. "I mean, it's fine for kids, right? Nothing too, ah, scary?"

Wang Mu frowned at him indignantly. "I won't get scared, Papa!"

"Well, you never know," he replied with a shrug. "Is there a lot of…You know, Voldemort? On this ride?"

"Huh," the girl frowned. "I can't really remember, honestly. Don't worry, it's mainly Harry."

Quirrell glanced at his new watch. "In that case, let's take a look around before queuing. I want to see these wands."

The shops were actually very well done, even though they'd got Voldemort's wand all wrong, and they didn't even have Quirrell's, which had made him a little sulky. But they'd bought a bunch of fake Honeydukes candy, which was of course not as good as the real stuff, but still tasted good.

"You didn't want a Slytherin badge?" Voldemort asked his daughter as they queued up for the Hogwarts ride. She'd fastened her new Ravenclaw pin on her satchel, and he tried not to sound too put out about it.

She wrinkled her nose. "No."

"Oh." He nodded back, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Ok. Cool."

"I'm not gonna be in Slytherin," she said matter-of-factly, glancing up at Quirrell. "I want Ravenclaw. You were Ravenclaw, right, Daddy?"

"Uh-huh. The best house there is," he responded, and then cleared his throat as he saw Voldemort's expression. "But, hey! Slytherin is also great. They're all great! You could end up in any of 'em. The Sorting Hat knows best."

"I mean, Hufflepuff is for dorks." Voldemort said before he could help himself. "And Gryffindor, yeugh. You don't want to be in Gryffindor, that's totally…I mean, that's just not going to happen."

She blinked up at him. "Oh."

"And I mean, eh, Ravenclaw's alright. Full of geeks, you know, but that's just how it is."

"Thanks," Quirrell muttered.

"What? I'm just saying, it's not like you can deny it. Now, Slytherin, that's where the winners are. Brains and brawn combined. Cunning. All of it."

"Who won the battle of Hogwarts, again?" Quirrell deadpanned, and Voldemort clenched his jaw.

"Hush your mouth, Quirrell, I'm installing an important life lesson here."

"An important life lesson is telling our daughter that it doesn't matter what House she ends up in."

"It's alright for you, she's wearing your badge."

"I totally don't care. If she was wearing a Slytherin badge, or a Gryffindor one, I'd react just the same."

"I'm still here." Wang said, which made them shut up. "And we're almost at the ride. Ooh, this is so cool."

"You so wouldn't," Voldemort hissed in Quirrell's ear. "Hell, if she was wearing a Slytherin badge, you'd be in emotional turmoil."

"You are so full of shit," Quirrell whispered back. "It's not my fault she knows the better House."

"I'll get you back for that comment later."

Quirrell kissed his cheek smugly, and then paused as they reached the front of the line. "I know the girl from before said this was alright for Wang, but…"

"It'll be fine," he assured him, and then stopped. "Oh. You mean, what if it's bad for you, right?"

"Mm…" He hesitated. "Maybe I should sit this one out."

"What?" Wang exclaimed. "No way! We queued for ages! Don't be a baby."

"Hey," Voldemort said sternly, a frown on his face. "Your Dad's not being a baby. He's actually being pretty sensible. Apologise for that, right now."

"It's fine," Quirrell said, shaking his head. "It's all fine. I mean, it's fake. So what's the harm?"

"Sure," Voldemort agreed, but he took his hand anyway. "Still. If you'd rather not, that's fine too."

"What, and let you and Wang experience Harry Potter in 3D without me? No way. Besides, kid's got a point, I queued for ages." He ruffled Wang Mu's hair with his free hand. "But if you get scared, does that make you a baby?"

"No," she frowned at him. "'Cause I'm eight and you're…Grown up."

"Grown-ups get scared too," he replied, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm terrified whenever I pay bills, for example."

"You're just being silly now."

He smiled, and then Voldemort got his attention by whispering in his ear. "Y'know, the Spiderman ride is meant to be way better."

"I'm fine. I swear."

"I'm just saying. Spiderman is way cooler than Harry Potter anyway. We're totally going on that later, ok? Oh! And Jaws, we're so doing Jaws."

"What's Jaws?" Wang asked curiously, and Quirrell suppressed his smile.

"You'd hate it. It's a really famous shark movie. They made a ride out of it."

"Yuck!" She grimaced, wrinkling her nose. "Nu-uh, no way. I'm not going on that."

"Now who's being a baby?" Voldemort grinned, and then they were actually getting on the ride. He really hoped it was worth all the wait. He'd rather be on the Spiderman one.

Still, Wang Mu's excitement was adorable, and so great to see. Even though, as he had initially been concerned about, there was a fucking Dementor. The whole moment only lasted a few seconds, and Quirrell repressed his reaction to it, but he was obviously uncomfortable by the time it was over.

"That 3D was like…Yeah, to be honest, that was actually awesome," Voldemort said once they were back in the sunshine. "The girl was right. That was like we were flying."

"It was so, so crazy!" Wang Mu cupped her face, practically fizzing with adrenaline. "Did you see how the Harry got so close to us?"

"If it had been the real Potter, that part would've been totally unbearable." Voldemort said, but he was grinning. He then glanced over at Quirrell, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "Hey! If we time this right, we can totally go on Spiderman, plus the Incredible Hulk. I mean, we have to do that. Maybe not the kid, but -"

"Why not?" Wang demanded, and then noticed Quirrell was so quiet. She tugged at his shirt hopefully. "Did you like it, Daddy? It was really fun, right? The only scary part was when that thing with the hood reached out at us. What was that, Daddy? You weren't scared, were you?"

"That was a Dementor." He said simply, and then it was Wang Mu's turn to fall quiet, as she turned to Voldemort with wide eyes.

"Really? That's what they look like? Why're they all covered up like that? They look horrible."

"Well, no one said they looked cute," Quirrell replied. "I'll explain more later, sweetie. When we're home. So, that was cool, huh? The whole…the whole thing."

Wang Mu slipped her hand in his, and didn't ask him any more questions, which Voldemort was thankful for. He'd make sure Quirrell was alright when they were alone. "Really cool," she agreed. "Thank you so much for bringing me."

"You are so welcome." Quirrell squeezed her hand. "You want another Butterbeer?"

"Yeah!"

"Let's go, then."

She ran on ahead to the nearby cart, and Quirrell breathed out slowly. "Damn. Lockhart really went all out with all this, didn't he?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm…I'm ok. I was kind of expecting something, to be honest. I mean, there are a ton of Azkaban references in the books, so…It's cool! I'm fine." He raised his hand to show Voldemort. "See? I'm not even shaking."

That only brought Voldemort's attention to his wrist marks, and he sighed. "I'm sorry, man. I know she's going to ask you a lot of questions."

"That's ok. She's a smart kid, she's sensible. I think…I think I'll be fine. I'll skip the gory details, obviously. But hey, we told her the full story of how we met, so she's good on that. C'mon, you have to try this Butterbeer."

"The glorified cream soda? I'm good."

"It's actually pretty delicious." Quirrell said, but Voldemort tugged him back when he made to go.

"Hey. You're awesome. Seriously, that was really brave."

Quirrell's lips quirked in a small smile. "It wasn't a real Dementor."

"Doesn't matter. I'm proud of you."

"Yeah," Quirrell had to say as they re-joined Wang Mu. "I'm proud of me too. And us, for being here."

Voldemort laughed a little. "Yup. I love Orlando."

So do I, Volds.

I visited the Harry Potter World in Orlando a few years ago, and boy lemme tell you, it's fucking incredible. The Hogwarts ride incorporates 3D with animatronics (there is actually a Dementor, I didn't make that part up!), and they have a Honeydukes, Ollivander's, plus if you go to the bathrooms, you hear Moaning Myrtle's voice. It's AWESOME.