A/N: Just a heads up, I have lost all my original nots and mind maps as to how this story is going to progress, I'm trying to write this with what I have from memory and what notes I've managed to find, I will need to go back and fix things, I understand that and give it some time, I'll get it sorted. But enjoy!
Princess
"Answer me this Thorin, what on Earth happened to you, to warrant you to hate every other being that is not your kin?" He frowns at my question. "Because that." I point to my contract. "Has hate behind every single word that has been written on that contract." His frown deepens, but his eyes remain steely. "What on Earth possessed you and made you a heartless bastard?"
"Lass." Dwalin's voice warns me this time but it's too late.
"No Dwalin. I want to know. If he thinks for one moment." I wave my cup and use it to point at Thorin. "That I am going to follow this emotionless and heartless bastard, then he's got another thing coming. I will not let my brother or myself, be a pawn in his quest. Because that's what we are to him, expendable lives he can throw away whenever he wants if he doesn't get his way." I chuck my cup in the general direction of one of the nephews and walk up to Thorin, I don't here it smash so one of their reflexes has caught it. "You stand there, acting all high and mighty but really you're just a coward."
"How dare you, you insolent-." He snarls and grasps one of my arms in a vice like grip and my reaction is to twist the offending limb latched onto mine, off and around the back of the King in my own vice like grip and have him pinned up and against the wall within seconds. Dwalin moves to pull me off of his King but I hook a foot around his ankle, trip him and have him pinned underneath my bare foot within the same time I have taken to pin his King. The two brothers move but with a glare from myself, they freeze in their steps.
They have more common sense then their Uncle and King it seems.
"Finish that sentence Thorin and I promise you, you won't make it out of my front door alive." He has the sense to keep his mouth shut after I say this.
"How dare you, come into my home and insult my brother, for being the gentle and kind soul that he is. How dare you then all but demand his presence on your quest without some much as an afterthought to his safety, after he welcomes you and your kin into his home. How dare you not extend the same protection you would give for that of your own kin, to him, seeing as he is going to be risking his life for YOU." I feel a twitch beneath my foot and put a little bit more pressure against Dwalin's back and hear a short gush as the air leave his lungs.
"All so you can claim your supposed homeland back." I say with disgust. "How dare you then insult me. If you took more interest in the world around you, rather than staring down your nose at it. You'd understand what it is, that I truly do and who I am." I push against him and I take a little pride in the grunt he gives back as I do so before relenting my hold on the two dwarfs'.
"If I call for help, I am answered. By many, who will be willing to go to War with and for me. Regardless as to whom they are fighting against. I do not have a crown that I can wave around for power nor a title with royalty behind it. What I do have, is a name that everyone knows. I have a name that incites honour, loyalty and trust from those who haven't even met me. There are King's, Lords and Wizards who will drop whatever they are doing, to aid me. And yet, I have never called for them. I have never asked them to leave their home, to pursue another for me and risk their lives, without my word of protection."
Thorin stares at me, his steely eyes giving away nothing.
"Because I am not that person. I have already told you this. I would never enter a stranger's house and demand their service. I would never pull them from their home and risk their life for my own. Nor would I let them leave with the thoughts of wondering if they will ever see their home again, or their loved ones. Or even if they will live long enough to fulfil the services that I ask of them. So, tell me Thorin what makes you think that you can ask Bilbo, any of this, and think he will say yes? That I will agree to this?" I take the contract from Balin's hands, rip it, and shove it in Thorin's face. Of which hardens, as the pieces fall to the floor.
"Who do you think you are? And what right do you have to ask any of this from us?"
"I am a King; I have the only right." He snarls at me.
"YOU." I snarl back at him and he has the decency to flinch back. "Are not my King!" I huff at him with anger. "And you are not the only one who has a right to claim that mountain. There are three more standing in this room, and right now, they are the better candidates for this quest, even if they were to make the decision to call it off, they'd still have a bigger right than you." All males look confused for a moment.
"I was hoping you would have recognised me Balin. I can't tell you how many times last night I wished for you to realise who I am but then again, I came to you, under a disguise and in the use of another name. A young dwarf lass, would make regular visits to you, each year under the name of Briella." Balin's face drops.
"What does she mean Balin?"
"I." Balin gasps before moving closer, taking in my features once more.
"I visited you, each year, including this one not four moons ago. You took time out of your day to see me. Years ago you would take hours out of your day, to teach me, sometimes for several days, sometimes for weeks. Always under the impression that I was a young dwarf lass who'd lost her parents in an orc attack at a young age, who sought help in finding out who she was."
"It is you, my wee Ella!" He smiles, brightly might I add and my heart splutters a little at the emotion across his face.
"I'm sorry I had to keep my true identity a secret, I have no doubt lost your faith and trust now because of this. Something of which I have built over the years. But if you knew who I really am, well, your teachings would've stopped in a heartbeat. Evidently time away has changed me more than I thought." Balin seats himself down, still bewildered and shocked a little.
"My name is Aurora Baggins, yes. I was adopted by Belladonna when my biological parents were murdered, I never lied about their demise. My biological mother was-." I sigh and pull the courage from every fibre of my being to tell them this. "Auriel, daughter of Aurelanious." Several faces drop and gasps escape the room. It is a wonder no one put the similarities of names together yet.
"The Lost King." Thorin breathes out, his eyes flickering all over my body, trying to find signs of resemblance.
"My parents, well at least what I know of it, were killed in an ambush by orcs, thirty years ago. It's only been in the last fifteen that I uncovered who my mother was, unfortunately during the attack, being how young I was, I was knocked unconscious and awoke with no memory, found in the Brandywine River. I've known Gandalf as long as I've known Bilbo and it was he who encouraged me to seek out help when I could no long give me the answers that I needed at the time. He was the one who help me discover the truth over my mother's death but found he did not who my father is. And sent me out to search, I had hoped to find that, in the Blue Mountains."
"Ered Luin?" Balin asks.
"Yes, it's the closest Dwarf Kingdom to the Shire, to where I was found. I hoped I could discover this but feared the repercussions of turning up as some lost relative of the Lost King. Whether anyone would believe that or not, I wasn't going to risk it. Balin found me one day, wondering the halls of Ered Luin, before cornering me in the library, having not recognised me before. Gandalf and I agreed I couldn't walk in as Aurora. Whether that be as a Baggins or the Guardian, the less people who knew of who I am, meant the less likely anyone would come looking for me. The good and the bad people. I took the name of Briella, dressed as a maid, and hoped I could find something in the public records. Here Balin found, took pity on me."
"I never lass, I saw a young lass, desperately searching for some scrap of information regarding her parents, I for one, was not going to just let you go without so much as giving you a point in the right direction. Your memory loss, it baffled me, it must've been a very harsh blow to the head for you to lose that much memory. I couldn't let you walk around not knowing who you were, I vowed to help the best I could. But you did most of the work. Sometimes when I would say or show you something, it would trigger something in your memory. At first it was little things, such as your age and education. You had a soft spot for reading, you took in anything I gave you and came back for more. You left one week not knowing how to read Khuzdul and came back the next reading, writing and speaking it fluently."
"You told me the lass that you schooled had dark hair?" Dwalin buts in, Thorin looks at him in surprise, obviously not knowing that anything of this has transpired right under his nose.
"I did, I would colour it, you'd be surprised how useful charcoal and a little bit of mud can be." Dwalin's eyebrows shoot up his forehead.
"You schooled me, even taught me a bit of self-defence, but as the years passed where my defence training with the other Guardians grew stronger, I knew that if I continued letting you train me, that you'd notice just how skilled I was, so I had to think of something to detour you from training me."
"Your leg." Balin suddenly remembers.
"I came back with a leg injury from my recent fight with a few bandits, technically I didn't lie in regards to that, I just never told you the truth of how I injured myself nor that it had healed within a couple of days. My most recent visit, you wanted to introduce me to a couple of individuals but never got the chance."
"I wanted to introduce you to my brother Dwalin." I'm taken back by that discovery. "As well as Thorin and the Princes but they were in a business meeting, of which I was then called into, however." His eyes lighten with mischief and he slyly glances at Thorin. "A certain Princess found you whilst I was away."
"Mother?" Two voices chorus at the same time just as Thorin perks up.
"Dis?" Thorin mumbles. "She mentioned a young lass, one she wanted to make her personal handmaid." I too am shocked at that. "Whispers of a lass no-one knew of flittered around the mountain, but I never took interest in it, not up until Dis voiced her opinions."
"I met many a dwarf in my visits to Ered Luin and I have no doubt made a handful of friends out of that, not to mention left an impression on them too, but things have started to get worse, out there that is. My visits began getting shorter, I'd come back with bruises here and there and it raises concern and suspicion, so when your sister, Lady Dis, suddenly took an interest in me, I knew I had to cut ties. She's an interesting individual and I have no doubt that she knew more than what she let on. I was afraid that she might discover who I am and so, I thanked both her and Balin, especially Balin, for his years of help and refuge. Never thinking I would see him again; I didn't recognise him at first when I arrived home." I turn back to Balin. "You normally have your hair and beard styled differently, not to mention you are wearing much more casual clothes than what I'm used to seeing you in.
"Aye lassie, it was time for a change." He chuckles.
"The Lost King, who'd have thought." Dwalin wonders, more to himself than anyone else.
"It's funny how you say lost, when in reality he was found. He was young, very young to be a King and he found life away from the mountains you live in. Found love and purpose and born from that was my mother. You all claim he was lost to his madness, that my grandmother was a witch that be spelled him to give up his life for her. He was selfish, yes, by choosing her. Not many people will do that, to give up a life of plenty for the ones they love. My grandmother was gifted by the creator himself and given a purpose with her gifts, of which now lies with me."
"You're a Princess." Balin breathes out suddenly, before shuffling from his seat ready to bow to me. I lift a hand to stop him.
"I am not. Sorry to disappoint you Balin, but I am not. My grandfather was King for all of five minutes before he left. Therefore, his right and title were forfeited. I have no title, nor any family left from them." I say before addressing Thorin. "Your grandfather may have been my grandfather's successor but look where that got him and where it has you now. There may be dwarf blood, once royal blood, running through my veins but right now, that means nothing to me." Balin looks shocked, his head snapping to me.
"Some value blood more than others, I have family I will die and live for, who do not have the same blood as me. And sometimes actions speak louder than words."
"Lassie, er, my Lady." I scoff at Balin. "You're Royalty, long lost Royalty, regardless."
"Regardless or not, am just that, lost royalty and I shall stay that way." I see Fili and Kili out of the corner of my eye, next to Dwalin, gesturing wildly with their hands as they have their own conversation, obviously reeling from their recent discovery of the truth about me. "The life I am living has shown me that just because I was born with a title and royal blood, doesn't mean it will get me anywhere. It will not earn me the trust of others nor their allegiance. That it will guarantee me anything life."
"But the titles that have been bestowed upon me, from my years of work and wandering, I have earned them. The years of service, of aiding and protecting whoever, wherever and whenever I can, from the evil that is in this world shows, has earned me a right to those names. I have sworn to protect the lives that are full of good, not just one individual or my own." This time, Thorin's gaze moves, he finally breaks his steely gaze and looks down.
"And I have never, ever asked for anything in return. My purpose on this Earth may never to have been a Princess. And I safely say that so far I have fulfilled that and more by being what I am now. I have done more in this life as Aurora Baggings and I will continue to do that and so much more, whether it be in this life or the next. I have realised that I have been given a second chance life, and though it has come without any knowledge of my parents or who I was before being found by Gandalf. He found Belladonna for me, who gave me a family and a purpose and I have used that to give back to the world. The world has given me the greatest gift in life. To know who I am, truly. My name has more meaning than it will ever be as Baggins than as Princess, it holds more meaning to anyone else on this Earth, to those who I have help. What you see is all of me. This is me." I pause, taking in the silence of not just Bilbo's study, but the whole of Bag End.
"Who are you Thorin?" I ask softly and he lifts his gaze slightly. "There may have been a time, when I first started out as a Guardian, when the people of the Ered Luin would talk about how their dwarf prince had taken it upon himself to build a new home for his people. Who over the years worked his way through his new life, not making others do it. Who earned the honour, respect and trust of others and did not demand it back. I would've followed him, because he was worth following. But time has moved on and he is nothing more than a fleeting memory." I turn around and move away, heading towards the hallway I stop.
"The person before me, who calls himself King. Is but a shell of who Thorin Oakenshield used to be. You, are not him and you are not my King. And I will not follow you. Not for the risking of Bilbo's life."
"Lass?" Balin tries again to appeal to me.
"I advised you last night to take council and listen to what others say, you ignored that. If you truly are a King, you would've listened to them and we wouldn't be in the position we are in now. You know the truth about me now, do not let that newfound knowledge be the reason behind your next choice, because I am not her. Take knowledge and trust who I am now. Respect it. Rewrite that contract or scrap it completely but ask the others what they think of me, of joining this quest, as being one of you."
Thorin looks to his nephews, both now buzzing with, lord knows how many questions and opinions. He looks to Dwalin, who is now looking at me differently, I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Before lastly looking to Balin, who looks up at him with pleading eyes.
"But know this, should you disregard my advice again and stick with that nonsense on that contract. I will not give it to you again. Bare in mind, I know more of this world than you do, even more than Gandalf, who has already sought my help for this quest." He turns his gaze back to me and for the first time, this stare is softer.
"Should Bilbo follow you today, I will not stop him. But I will follow him and only him. I will not require anything from you, or your company. But rest assured Thorin, as my duty as a Guardian and protector of this Earth, if at any point in this journey, your intentions towards this quest changes and not only puts the lives of your company and Bilbo at risk but the rest of the innocent lives of this world in danger as well." I let my gaze harden and look him dead in the eye, unflinching, like I would face down the enemy.
"I will do what I must. What my one and only right is. To rid the world of such danger and those who cause it." I turn and walk away before I can see a reaction, if I get one. I avoid the gazes of the dwarves who have been eavesdropping this entire time, until I come across Gandalf, who looks sad and withdrawn but understanding.
A little Thorin bashing going on, I know, don't hate me for it. Just about all of the characters, mine and the Boss's, will have some growing to do. Things will change in time for Thorin.