Drinking Tales

Summary – In which Jack sends a Letter and Will Replies.

Dear Whelp,

I bet you didn't know that I could write? Could you? Well I can, so there! Not all pirates can read and write, but I can. Aren't I just a genius? And yes, I do know what the word means. Why shouldn't I?

Anyway, I just wanted to know if your Elizabeth found out about the rum? She's dead set against the drink, ain't she? I have never had the pleasure to meet another woman like her. Anna Maria doesn't count; she's been a sailor since she could walk. Can't say that much about Elizabeth…but all women have their points, don't they?

Ran into a squall just last week; tore out our mast and we had to get new sails. It's taken forever to die them black, but I love that color! C'mon, who doesn't want to run when they see black sails? Besides, with ol' Blackbeard trying to out me on the Caribbean, what else am I supposed to do? He's been poaching on my seas for long enough I just can't seem to get rid of the git!

With our mast gone, we'll have to wait to get the old pirate; but that won't stop him from raiding. So, if I was you, I'd warn your Norrington friend to be on the look out. The ship of Blackbeard's actually looks a bloody lot like the Dauntless. But has a mermaid on the front of it. Beware! Beware! Beware!

Errr – I just wanted to put that in because it sounded neat there!

So, how's Elizabeth? Have you two gotten married yet? Apologies that I couldn't be there; but I do have your wedding gift and shall give it to you the next time I see you. Which would mean for us to have a get together with some rum I picked up in…what was that country...? America, I think it was. They're getting ready to fight the good ol' fight with Britain!

I couldn't believe it at first; the colonies are up in arms over a tea tax! But they say it isn't really about the tea tax, they said they wouldn't have cared if they had a someone in England that could tell the King what was honestly going on in the Colonies. Either way, they're talking about a 'Declaration of Independence".

They'll hang if they don't win; now, don't mistake me here, dear William; I am pirate through and through. But this situation may be productive, and so I shall watch it closely and advance when I see the opportune moment!

Everyone says ahoy, and wishes you luck.

Cheers mate! CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow

Two Months later

Dear CAPTAIN Jack(ass)

Everything is fine here; Blackbeard did raid Port Royal, but Elizabeth is fine as am I. We got married the week before your letter arrived and I managed to get us a small cottage that is more inland that by the ocean. Which probably saved us in the end. Inlanders don't have to worry much about Pirates.

Sorry about the Black Pearl; and I most certainly agree that you must keep up appearances, can't have people going about thinking that Sparrow is a coward, now can we? It just wouldn't be right! And no…she hasn't a clue! And don't you go about telling her either. She'd never let me see you again! And yes, I am joking but I shant put it past her!

Jack, and here I thought you were illiterate! Read and write and a damn good speller I see. I shall have to amend some of my theories about you; where you grew up and that sort of thing. However, I am glad, now we can at least write letters even though it'll take ages for them to get to us.

America, I think that naming their country before there even is one is sort of egotistical of them; but the King has gotten rather…dense about certain things going on that doesn't concentrate in England itself. I know for a fact that the tea taxes have gotten expensive in Port Royale along with coffee. However, coffee is rather easily come upon and so Elizabeth and I have stopped drinking tea all together.

I look forward to your next visit and I do hope to share some rum with you. But if you get me drunk, I shall have to give you a black eye in the morning

Cheers to you mate, BLACKSMITH Will Turner

Three months later

William,

Not much to say; actually everything has been going quite well. Blackbeard ain't been seen in months now and I am hoping that he is clearing off. Though I don't expect it.

I also don't have a lot of time to write this. I am in the middle of pirating a vessel bound for your port of call and so wished for them to take this note to you. Do not worry, we haven't killed anyone and they were quite happy to see me. I can't believe it! I ain't the scrounge of the Spanish Main any longer!

I'll just have to rectify that.

Cheers, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow