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It's been 61 days and 12 hours since I left him. Oh my god, it's so pathetic that I even know that...yeah, it's kind of pathetic that I'm talking, well thinking, to myself, too. Mmm, well, I'm used to it. I wonder what John's doing right now? Actually, I might not want to know. I mean we did decide to call it quits when I left, the two months were up. Those two months of denial. I wonder if he's with someone else now? Ha, he probably thinks that I'm with someone else. I have met some really cool people here; some really nice guys, too. When it comes down to it though, I just can't stop thinking about him. I just keep thinking about the last few years, how we came together and how we got to the point that we're stuck at now. Meeting him, getting to know him, it all just felt like I had been sheltered and then suddenly I was alive. He's so different from everyone else that I've ever known. Our relationship started out very tentatively, little baby steps I guess you'd call them. We'd steal a kiss here or there, denying any sort of 'thing' to any and everybody that asked...even our fellow Breakfast Clubbers. Ha, that was so funny; like we were fooling any of them. I remember one afternoon I was in between classes doing something for the Pep Squad – I can't remember what now – and when I rounded the corner, who do you think was leaning against the wall? Yep, my manly rebel. Suddenly my pulse quickened and I reverted to my nervous habit of licking my lips; which the chapstick companies love by the way. Oh, and John, oh he looked so inviting with those smoky eyes and his beautifully brooding face. Well, needless to say we ended up kissing per usual. Oh, and then we heard the bell and jumped away from each other. Brian came out of the class right next to us and I'll never forget the look on his face. He actually smirked – bad influence of John, I think – and he just said ' you don't have to stop on my account.' Yeah, and we thought we were so sneaky! There was something about sneaking around that made it a little romantic, though.

Then one day we just decided 'who cares?' and we finally went public. That was classic, too. John's friends and my friends just seemed so clueless as to why we would get together. We didn't care though. Our relationship always was a bit on the volatile side. In a twisted way, that's one of the things that kept everything so exciting. Then, a couple of months after high school ended we moved in together. Looking back, I guess it was kind of a rushed decision, but we were young and in love. Well, love and lust. Oh, we've had some really great times together. Seeing the looks on Andy, Allison, and Brian's faces when John suddenly announced 'Well, kiddies, I have some news – it seems the Princess and I are shacking up together. Living in sin. Oh, but don't worry, Sporto – I'll still have time for you' and he blew Andy a kiss. It was priceless. I don't know what really happened to us. It was all great for awhile. I really miss him. I want to call him and tell him I love him, just hear his voice. I know that I won't though. I mean, what if he's all the way over there and he hasn't even thought about me at all? Well, I'm sure he's thought about me, he is still in our apartment. As far as I know, anyway. I can't believe that he never even called me back after I called him a few weeks ago...

"Clar? Are 'ou alright?"

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm fine. I was just thinking."

"You zeemed in be in anuzza world. 'Ave you even zarted zudying for zee finals yet?"

Claire sighed, "No. I can't seem to focus."

"I know what 'ou mean. I don't underzand zis Bio at all, I've zpent 'ours on zis crap and I zill don't get it. Zis iz college, 'ou know? It'z zuppoze to be fun, not one big Biobrainzqueeze mizeree." Her roommate lamented a few more minutes before there was a loud knock on the door.

"Oh, tha'z for me. I azked Curt to come by and 'elp me wiz zat azzignment that old La'Poopa gave uz."

Claire found herself suddenly aware of her baggy study clothes and not so perfect hair. She tried to smooth it down with her hands quickly before she realized what she was doing.

"Hey Claire," the boy standing in the doorway gave her a winning smile. "How's it going?"

"Fine. How are you, Curt?"

"Good, now that I'm here." He grinned at her and gave her a quick wink.

"Oh! I juz remember'd zat I left my book in Zuzan'z room. I had bett'r go get it! Uh, 'ou two can juz zit and talk to each otha for aw'ile!"

"Josephine, you can borrow mine." Claire bit out, knowing exactly what her obnoxious roomie was playing at.

"Oh, thankz, but, uh, I need my book becauze...oh, becauze all of my notes are in zere. Yez, I need all of thoz notez, I'll be back...in a little 'ile..." and she hurried out of the door before the disgruntled red head could get another word in.

"Well, this is awkward..."

"Not really. I'm glad I get a chance to talk to you. You're always running to and from classes, I don't get to see you enough." He smiled warmly at her.

"Oh. Yeah, well, higher education keeps you busy..." she finished meekly. The thoughts running through her head were very different, though. I am going to strangle Jo. I am going to strangle Jo, I am going to strangle Jo. She was so busy repeating this mantra to herself that she failed to notice when her unexpected companion seated himself next to her.

"Are you listening to me?" When she turned towards with him with a blank look on her face he chuckled. "You know, a less secure man would take that to heart. I know that you were just dazed by my charm."

"That must be it," she found herself grinning at his idiotic demeanor.

"So, we only have a couple of weeks left here in the city of lights...what are you doing tonight?"

It's now or never, she thought. I need to just say I'm busy, that's it. I'm busy and thank you very much. Yes, that's what I should say. "Nothing. What are you doing?" Damn, that's not was I was supposed to say.

"Well, I was hoping to take out the best looking girl here...what do you say?"

"I say that you rely too much on flattery," she replied mockingly.

"I only speak the truth. Really, Claire, let me take you out. There's this really great little bistro that I stumbled upon on St-André-des-Arts . There's a really great drink there called a bière brûlée. You have to try it with me. Hmm, can I tempt you?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her and she couldn't supress her laugher.

"Oh, why not?"

"I'll be back in an hour?" She nodded and he bid his goodbyes and left. She tried very hard not to think of the awful guilty feeling that was brewing in her belly and threatening to engulf her. We're not together anymore, I am not doing anything wrong. He's probably moving on with his life, so I have to move on with mine. She tried very hard not to think of him while changing. Besides, we're all wrong together. We have nothing in common. She tried very hard not to think of him while putting on her make-up. He's probably got a whole new wallet of the girls that he's 'considering'. He's probably out with one of them right now, this minute. And she tried very hard not to think of him when her date showed up at her door with an enchanting bouquet of lilies. Whew, get a grip there, Claire. This is not a big deal anyway...I'm sure he's out doing the same thing with someone else.

"Ready to go?" he offered his arm gallantly and she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Yes?"

Curt sniggered, "Aw, come on, it won't be that bad. Eh?" He gave her a genuine smile and she found that she forgot to not think about the boy that she loved back home for a moment.

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Hey, hundreds of you have been reading, but not reviewing :( Don't be flack, jack; ya gotta review, cuz, well, ya jus' gotta... reviews make me want to write more and I love to write! Hint, hint, not so subtle hint!