"I haven't forgotten" reads Millicent out loud over Pansy's shoulder
"Well that's hardly an apology" huffs Daphne, her hands still firmly placed on her hips but now also sporting a disgruntled look on her face.
"She is a stubborn one that Granger," says Tracey shaking her head
"No excuses," says Daphne "She's in the wrong"
" I haven't forgotten" repeats Millicent slowly "I don't get it"
"The last thing Pansy said to Granger was she didn't know what happen to Bell regarding being cursed because she was with her unless she had forgotten that" explains Tracey
Sensing that Millicent still did not fully comprehend the meaning of the note she continues "I guess" she pauses "shes in a unique way saying I acknowledge you were with me so you couldn't be involved and I'm sorry, maybe"
"Unique is a bloody understatement" grumbles Daphne "it's not that hard to say I'm sorry I was out of line. I should not have accused you. Two words are all that is needed - I'm sorry. She has no right to question Pansy on something she knows nothing about."
Pansy can hear the intensity in Daphne's tone. There's comfort in knowing that Daphne has her back. That their friendship is one thing Pansy could always rely on, no matter what.
"You know Granger always has to have an answer, look at her in class, always putting her hand up, it's also obvious she can't admit when she's wrong," says Tracey
"That's no excuse. I can't believe you're defending her"
"I'm not defending her" argues Tracey "I'm just pointing out a fact"
"So what, our Pansy just has to bow down to Granger, without her even trying to make up for her actions. You think she would be that forgiving if the sock was on the other foot"
Pansy notices Tracey open her mouth to say something but then quickly shut it, opting to dampen the situation rather than adding to the flames of their argument.
"Millicent what do you think?" asks Daphne
Millicent, like Pansy, had been busy watching the exchange between Tracey and Daphne, trying her best not to get caught up in their discussion, but now has to weigh in.
"Well the note wasn't very clear. Maybe" says Millicent slowly "she's scared"
"Scared of what exactly?" challenges Daphne
"Of how she feels? Maybe she likes Pansy a lot. And saying I'm sorry was, I don't know, too simple"
"Go on" urges Daphne still not convinced by Millicent's words
"Well maybe, I'm sorry is like I said too simple, there's no extra explanation needed, but by saying I hadn't forgotten she is saying she acknowledges that Pansy was with her and so couldn't be involved but also she's been thinking of their time together and it means something to her, she's been thinking about it and Pansy."
"Ohhh go, Pansy, you love goddess" winks Tracey in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood, but it only earns her another glare from Daphne.
"Or maybe" continues Millicent "Tracey's right, she's just stubborn and can't admit she's wrong" adds Millicent shrugging her shoulders
"Great" moans Pansy defeated as she collapses backwards onto her bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling.
All these assumptions are making her head spin, it feels like her brain cells have been scrambled and she can't quite grasp what is going on. Life was simpler a few months ago, before the dreaded bet, before, and she hates to admit it before she started to have these feelings.
"Pansy, are you okay?" says Daphne, her tone now much softer
"Yeah, fine," she murmurs absently, her eyes remaining focussed on the ceiling "I'm tired, I might have a nap" she sighs as she gets to her knees ready to close the curtains around her bed
"Umm, by the way, Daphne," says Tracey calmly "the muggle saying is the shoe is on the other foot not sock"
The last thing Pansy sees is one of Daphne's shoes soar across the room aimed directly at Tracey before she pulls her thick green velvet curtains closed.
Pansy pulls up her duvet and stares at the different shades of green in the ceiling, letting her eyes create images of hippogriffs, pixies and willow trees. Her friends whisper amongst themselves, obviously discussing Pansy, Granger and the note. Her feelings are indescribable. A muscle twitches involuntarily at the corner of her left eye as she replays this mornings meeting with Granger. She honestly does not know how to feel. On the one hand, she is still angry and hurt by Grangers accusations and on the other hand, Granger has sent her a note apologising in some odd way and she really wants to forgive Granger, but is this what it's always going be like. Every time something happens, and it's bound to if the rumours of You Know Who's return are true, will Granger turn on her with those eyes of distrust? Making her feel so small, so wrong and unworthy? Will she have constantly have to defend herself and her housemates?
"Pansy," says Daphne softly as she pulls the thick green bed curtain wide apart and slides onto the bed with her.
"Mmm"
"Tell us what you're feeling," says Daphne just as Millicent and Tracey join her on Pansy's bed.
"I honestly don't know" admits Pansy
"You need to talk to Granger," says Millicent bluntly
"As much as I would like to hex Granger for being a twat, Mils is right," says Daphne "But" she hastily adds "I still think she should get down on her knees and apologise"
"And," says Tracey "She should come to you"
"And," says Millicent "We know exactly how we are going to arrange that"
Pansy sighs loudly. The whole reason Pansy is in this mess is because of their meddlesome ways. The feeling of fear in the pit of her belly says no, but another feeling, one engulfing her heart screams yes. Closing her eyes, she lets out a deep breath "Go on" she says
"You're going to the library"
"And how exactly is that not going to her when Granger practically lives in the library," says Pansy now looking at her friends
"You're not going to approach her, you're going to sit close enough for her to notice you but far enough away that she has to make an effort," says Millicent
"And if she doesn't come over?"
"Then I will hex her to next week" boasts Daphne proudly
"She'll come over," says Tracey smugly "We are dangling a delicious piece of fruit in front of her. But just to be sure... " she says leaning towards Pansy and unbuttoning the top two buttons of Pansy's shirt before she can stop her to reveal just a hint of cleavage "it doesn't hurt to show off what she could be missing out on".
Running her hands through her hair she shakes her head "You guys are going to be the death of me" says Pansy while making no effort to button up her shirt
"Come on," says Daphne slapping Pansy on her leg "I'll walk you to the library".
Begrudgingly Pansy leans over the side of her bed and grabs her school bag " Ok, lets do this"
"Eeeeeee" shrills Millicent like an unearthed Mandrake "This will be wonderful" she says clapping happily
"Oh and Pans," says Tracey as Pansy makes her way towards the door with Daphne "If Granger does come begging on her knees, tell her while she's down there -"
"Tracey" scolds Daphne half-heartedly
"Pansy is not that kind of girl. Well actually..." says Millicent with a devilish grin "you were a bit of a trollop yesterday"
Tracey and Millicent let out a bellowing laugh. It amazes Pansy how quickly they can turn a situation into a joke, as long as it is at Pansy's expense it seems.
"Ignore them," says Daphne as the walk through the common room together avoiding the gaggle of Slytherin students lounging about.
They walk in silence down the hallway towards the library. Pansy's emotions are like a ball of tangled yarn, confused and agitated but also excited and happy at the prospect of seeing and rectifying things with Granger.
Her heart drumming frantically against her chest with every small step she takes towards the library. Nervous energy races through her legs, her belly alight with flutters but her head feels clouded, everything around her seems far away almost like being underwater. She is completely distracted by repetitive thoughts of Granger and her confused feelings that she barely registers Daphne coming to a sudden halt near the Library entrance.
Turning to her Daphne places her hands gently on Pansy's hips, a gesture more intimate than normal but not uncomfortable, as good friends they often hug, link arms and lean on each other. Unsure of what to do with her own hands Pansy lays a hand on Daphne's arm just above the elbow.
"Pansy I only want what's best for you," she says softly "And whatever makes you happy, I'm ok with"
The sincerity of her words warms Pansy to her very core that she can't help but smile
"Aww thanks, Daphne," says Pansy pulling her friend into a hug
Pansy hears a gruff huff as someone quickly passes them. The hair on her arms stand on end, she senses someone glaring at her back pricking her with an army of tiny sharpened dagger. Looking over her shoulder she spies Granger entering the library.
Pulling away from Daphne "Was all that for Granger's benefit?" questions Pansy, a little offended to be used by her friend as a pawn to get at Granger
Shrugging Daphne merely replies, "It is true what I said about wanting the best for you, and the girls said I wasn't allowed to hex her so..." she trails off
"So" repeats Pansy
"They never said I couldn't torture her," she says smiling "I'm sure she would prefer to be the one standing where I am now. Jealousy can be such a terrible mistress" she says pulling Pansy's shirt collar a little more open "off you go and remember she has to come to you"
And with that Daphne turns and leaves Pansy standing there with only one option to enter the library.
Taking a deep breath Pansy shifts uncomfortably from one foot to another.
She knows she has to face Granger at some stage to talk about what happened. Now or never she tells herself.
Despite knowing full well Granger will be in the library, her heart skips a beat before proceeding to pound hard against her chest at the sight of her sitting at a desk. Her stomach lurches forward and somersaults with every step she takes.
She chooses a table that's near enough to Granger that she'll be noticed but far away enough that it's not obvious that's what shes's doing and begins to unpack her bag.
Pansy's heart is hammering but she keeps her focus on the potions text in front of her, refusing to acknowledge Granger's presence. She has to come to me Pansy reminds herself over and over
Time seems to stand still, it's as if the seconds have been replaced by minutes. She has read the same page countless times without a single word sinking in.
An internal battle of will versus desire to go to Granger ensuing inside her unbeknown to all those around her.
Like slow waves on a shore, doubt begins to bubble within her, what if Granger doesn't come over. What if they remain in this position if stalemate forever, both too proud to make the move.
Just as Pansy begins to feel her resolve slipping away a note flutters gently onto the empty parchment in front of her taking her by surprise. She looks around and sees nothing and Granger is no longer at her desk.
Written in beautiful handwriting are the words meet me in the Restricted Section?
"Restricted Section" mumbles Pansy softly.
She had never been to the Restricted Section, you needed a special pass from a teacher to go there.
A different set of nerves begin to tick over in her belly, the type that is driven by fear. Raising slowly from the desk, more questions begin to swirl through her brain what if Madam Pince asks her where she's going? What if there's a secret password to get in? What if she's caught in there, how in Merlin's name would she explain that? What punishment would she receive if she is caught, would they contact her parents?
Her heart continues to thump hard against her chest, her hands feel clammy as she makes her way past bookshelf after bookshelf towards the back of the library where the Restricted Section is located.
Only a thick purple rope separates the Restricted Section from the rest of the library. Pansy casts a quick look around to make sure no one is watching before stepping carefully over the rope.
She lets out a relieved breath she didn't realise she was holding. She had half expected an alarm to sound the moment her foot touched the floor beyond the rope.
She creeps as quietly as she can. It's bigger than she expected. In awe, she scans the ornate bookshelves with their delicate carvings and filled with books bound in red, green and brown leather all perfectly stacked. The books seem to get older with their faded good lettering spelling out words she didn't understand, the further she delves in. A faded black book who's title looked like it had been written in blood catches her eye and sends an involuntary shiver down her spine. Curiosity getting the better of her as she reaches for it.
"I wouldn't do that" comes a whisper that has her nearly jumping out of her skin and spinning around fast.
It's Granger. She has appeared from beneath Potter's invisibility cloak
"Merlín's beard Granger, you scared the pixies out of me," says Pansy grasping her chest trying to regain her composure and soothe her frantically beating heart.
Trying her best to suppress a smile "Some of the books scream when you take them off the shelf" informs Granger quietly
"Of course they bloody do," says Pansy trying to steel her nerves as she leans against the shelf
Pansy shifts her weight from foot to foot. There is a thick awkwardness that cannot go unnoticed as they stand there together in silence. Nerves begin to flutter in her belly as they continue to stand in silence. Pansy glances unceremoniously around waiting for Granger to start.
"It was a necklace," says Granger softly referring to the item that cursed Katie Bell and started their argument, "They say she was lucky she was wearing gloves" says Granger casting a sideways glance at Pansy, waiting for a response. "She will be in St Mungo's for a few weeks" continues Granger when it is obvious that Pansy will not reply.
Pansy's thoughts and emotions are pulling against each other like a vicious game of tug of war. She desperately wants to make up with Granger but she also wants to be respected and trusted by her. The silence lays on Pansy's skin like a thick suffocating blanket.
"There's so much going on, so many things happening." offers Granger which Pansy assumes is her way of explaining her outburst, but it still wasn't an apology. As much as Pansy wanted to forgive her she needed an apology or it would forever be an issue for her. She chooses to remain silent.
More moments of silence pass, only the sound of their breathing can be heard.
Eventually "Did you get my note?" whispers Granger ever so softly.
Pansy thinks it may be the very first time she has seen Granger look anything other than righteous and confident. For the first time, she looks vulnerable
"I did" replies Pansy biting back any urge to say something else. She needs an apology
The sudden clicking sounds of footsteps in a nearby aisle causes Pansy and Granger to straighten immediately. Pansy has the urge to run and hide as the panic of being caught sets in.
"Quick under the cloak" whispers Granger holding the cloak up for Pansy
The hairs on the back of Pansy's neck stand to attention as she slips under the cloak. She holds her breath. Every blood cell is racing around in her body on high alert.
To make matters worse, she is peculiarly conscious of the closeness of Granger, the warmth from her body sending her mind into a spin, she's convinced Granger would be able to hear the beating of her heart. A feeling of uncontrollable heat begins resonating through her.
An electric charge streams down her spine as Granger pushes up closer against her, all thoughts giving way to the sensation of pins and needles now dancing in her belly and pants.
She holds her breath as the footstep come nearer before halting suddenly. She can't make out the words but she hears what she assumes is an incarnation, and the sound of an old wooded bookshelf cracking as someone removes a heavy tome. Pansy breathes out a sigh of relief as the footsteps begin to move away from them.
"I'm sorry" comes a timid whisper from Granger once the sound of footsteps have become a distant sound
With those words, the tension and anger that had plagued Pansy all day melted into nothing.
Still beneath the safety of the invisibility cloak, Pansy turns to Granger, "I really didn't have anything to do with Bell getting cursed, and I don't know who did" she whispers
"I know" whispers Granger guiltily
They stare at each other in an odd way, the air encircling them is suddenly thick. Pansy's heart pulsates hard against her chest as her hand drifts towards Granger's waist, she feels Grangers body tremble beneath her fingertips. With a small smile, Granger matches her action and places her hand on Pansy's waist drawing her slowly closer and closer. Pansy grazes her lips against Grangers, a jolt of searing heat races through her as Granger's eyes flutter shut, her lips parting slightly, inviting her in.
Their kiss is slow and soft but it burns hotter than an dragon fire. Warmth radiates through her, she feels comfort in ways she had never imagined. The world around her falls away, as their tongue find each other, all that exists is her and Granger.
Breaking apart Pansy rests her forehead against Grangers, breathing slowly she smiles meekly at the realisation she could kiss these lips forever.