I remember when Sirius and I were younger. Those days were almost painfully simple. For Sirius anyway. He was always bored, constantly scouring the house for something to do. I was just happy to be with him. Even if we were doing nothing but sitting together. That was always the joyful difference: together.
I remember how my greatest pride was when it was I who found something to do. Once, we went around the whole house, counting all the snakes we could find. Sirius soon became bored, but forever after that, it became almost a hobby. Even when I had grown, I couldn't help noticing the snakes although, by then, I had long lost count.
After my own life had been spent, I couldn't stop watching over my elder brother as he had once done for me. I watched as he mourned for me, something I had almost thought he wouldn't do. I thought he had hated me. But James was still the one comforting him. I couldn't decide whether to be jealous or disgusted with myself. A long time had passed since I was capable of comforting Sirius.
I watched as Sirius heard the news of James' future child. They met at the Leaky Cauldron that day. Even though those days had long gone, I still thought of the Leaky Cauldron as our place. That was our favorite place to go trailing behind mother and father, Sirius holding my hand, arm, or shoulder protectively. That was another thing about Sirius. He was always protective.
But the Leaky Cauldron held unpleasant memories as well. Bellatrix, Lucius, and I had apparated the Leaky Cauldron and soon entered Diagon Alley, beginning a trip to Knockturn Alley on the search for yet another something-or-other for Voldemort. Or where we looking for someone? I don't know; I can't remember.
Lucius, however, disappeared for a few minutes. Bella and me, more than slightly annoyed, busied ourselves with finding him. A flash of wandlight later, and his location was obvious. Why he was encircled by a group of assertive, rather angry, shop owners, however, was beyond us. It was quite obvious that we had to leave without our object of interest fearful though we were of Voldemort's wrath. Three were no odds against the growing mob of people chasing us; Bella and I guilty through association with Lucius.
Of course, three people (now dressed in the signature uniform of the Death Eaters) running through Diagon Alley caused a huge commotion. Screaming was everywhere. The one time we weren't doing anything, and they had to decide to scream. People were rushing out of everywhere, searching for the source of the shrieking outside.
The three of us pushed desperately against the current of the crowd. Jostled constantly, we finally fell through the doors of the Leaky Cauldron, whipping off our masks and throwing back our hoods in one motion. To our surprise (though it seems much more obvious now), it was much more tranquil in the usually busy pub than it was outside. Only a few people were there, but they stood up from their seats instantly, wands trained on us, faces grim.
There were about five people there, standing in a defensive line. But I didn't bother with mist of them. I was too busy looking, in shock, at the face of my own brother. Sirius. At first, I saw reflected in his face my own confusion. But then, his custom frenzy of emotions flashed through his eyes as we stared at each other, neither of us aware of anything else. His gaze filled with surprise, disgust, and then hate. No love, no compassion.
Anyone else, even in our family, would have struck at him, seeing the characteristic emotional turmoil as a way to gain an advantage. But I couldn't. Never had I seen hate in my brother's eyes; not directed at me. Anger maybe, but not this.
"Sirius?" I whispered. I could stand anything but this pain and hate I saw in his eyes. Then, he acted.
"Expelliarmus!" he flung his wand arm out, pointing it straight at me. I flew backwards into a wall, toppling a few tables and chairs. I groaned, hurt and wandless. I shouldn't have hesitated, and I knew it. But I had and now I had to deal with it.
Dodging and rolling, I made my way towards Sirius, who still held my wand in his free hand. He saw me coming, but couldn't react because Bella had just targeted him with a Cruciatus. Sirius dodged, right into my fist. Impulsively, he dropped my wand as he put a hand to his jaw. Of course, he started to attack me again.
"Sectumsempra!" I called out, hitting him with power caused mainly by fear and disbelief. Raising my wand, I apparated. That was the last time I had ever seen my brother. Standing there, face filled with wrath, covered in blood. And it was all my fault.
