Chapter Thirteen:
It was supposed to help
The halls of Castle Oblivion had always been quiet. Now they were stiflingly silent. Raxet's breath caught in her chest as she settled onto a bench, allowing her head to sink into her hands, her messy hair falling in layers around her face.
"Something wrong, darling?"
Raxet sat up quickly, leaning back casually. "Not a thing, boss," She grinned cockily. It was a slightly lopsided grin, because she couldn't seem to find the grit to fill it out.
"You're tired?"
"Just a little. Everyone's always talking about Sora and where he is and how much longer we have to wait and just how much we should push him before he gets here and if he's going to kill us all or just make it easier for us to gain our hearts…all the tension is wearing me out."
"He's got no chance. Saïx has assured our victory."
"How?" She had been speaking quickly, putting together catches of conversations she had heard off and on between her 'prowls'—as Demyx had called them. She hadn't realized how close her guesses had come, or she would have addressed Naminé about them.
Xemnas studied her, evaluating her. Then he grinned widely as he reached his conclusion. What had that been? Naminé had said hurting her was what he wanted to do. She'd seen no evidence of this…he'd always been so careful, so kind. Had that been an act? She trusted Naminé's judgment. When Xemnas started speaking, she listened carefully, nervously.
"Sora has a friend that's very, very dear to him. Saïx has invited her to stay here with us, for a time. Sora…he may as well be a puppet. He'll do anything for his little Kairi."
"We're holding a little girl hostage?" She felt her eyes widen, and horror overtook her.
"See what I mean? He's got no chance." Xemnas stood, clapping her gently on the shoulder, eyeing her gently, kindly. At least, that's what it had looked like. Now…now she saw that he was hiding a slyness behind his eyes. She jerked back.
He didn't seem to notice though, and after a moment, she was watching his retreating back. She bit her thumb, thinking.
A little girl. Xemnas had had a little girl kidnapped. Maybe Sora wasn't so wrong in thinking that the Organization was a bad group. And she was a part of it.
"Dammit," She whispered. "I don't understand." She felt a lone tear slide down her left cheek, and she wiped it away angrily.
Sometime later, she was stalking through the halls. There was a commotion inside one of the rooms, and she drew into the shadows, pressing her ear to the wall, wondering what it was about, and knowing if she went inside, chances were good nothing meaningful would be said.
"So he did it, then?"
"Yeah, he's gone."
"Demyx…well, we always knew he was weak…"
"No. He wasn't. He was just soft."
"You think he threw that fight?"
"It's a real possibility."
"Doesn't really matter, does it? He's gone, now."
Raxet gasped as the reality of those words sunk in. She felt her eyes narrow angrily. She couldn't name the all of the people who had been speaking—one had been Xemnas—but it didn't really matter. How dare they speak of Demyx so rudely? He was a sweet, kind…oh. That's right. She was in the middle of a nest of snakes. No wonder they spoke so poorly of him. She felt angry tears welling up in her eyes, and didn't care to listen to anything else these people might say.
She jerked a darkness door open behind her and felt herself yanked through. She landed with an uncomfortable crash on her bed. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't. She'd done too much of that, these last few days. Too much. Her pillow might never recover. So instead of crying, she pulled the slip of paper Demyx had given her out of her pocket, unfolding it slowly. It wasn't just one sheet. He'd used one to make a sort of envelope, and inside were two, three pages.
"I know you told me to wait," She whispered, "but I can't help it…" She began to read.
Dear Raxet,
I wanted to sing you a song. You know, in person. Sort of like…I guess like a serenade. I even wrote a couple, but they weren't very good. I'm not good at love songs. I guess it comes with being a Nobody. Sorry.
Anyway, I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you any of that. I had a lot of things I could have said. Then Axel reminded me that you have no memories. It would be cruel to talk about the past when you couldn't remember. I'm sorry for bringing that up. I know it's painful.
Axel won't want me to give this to you.
He'll be afraid that it will make you upset. He's a real good guy—he's trying to protect you. You can trust him. I hope you do. He's making the right choice, but it's a dangerous one.
I know you're confused. I wish I could help you. I want nothing more than to watch you smile. Don't worry. It may happen yet. Axel will do everything he can for you. I've done as much as I can, too.
Except explain. And someone should. You need to know.
I can't tell you everything. I don't know it all myself. What I do know is recorded here, on these sheets.
When Xemnas brought you to the castle, he expected you to fold immediately under his wing—what else could you do, having no memories of your own? You would have to trust him, the one who offered you salvation.
You did, in a way. I noticed you take a lot of what he says at face value. But you didn't lose yourself—you didn't fold all the way. You're still a strong-willed woman. That makes me glad for you. It would be so hard to watch you become a puppet.
But you have to know.
Naminé said she'd warn you, but I feel that I should try, too, just in case.
He's jealous. Xemnas only wants your destruction. Before you came to Castle Oblivion, before you'd lost your memories…you were a very lucky person. There was a treasure that you possessed that even owning all the universe couldn't compete with.
Don't get me wrong, though. He wants that, too.
I'm sorry. I wish I could put it in a way that would be easier for you to understand...This is what Naminé warned me about. I can see that now.
When I joined the Organization, I thought that it was my only choice, that there were no other options left to me. Did you feel that way? That it was your only hope?
It's not. For you, anyway. Even if you Fade, you'll rejoin your Somebody, and let me tell you, she misses you badly. She needs you.
And I see now that it's not the only option for me, either. I can't openly defy Xemnas. I'm not that brave. Or that foolish. But I'll do what I can.
This whole bid about Kingdom Hearts…
Xemnas won't help you, Raxet. You'll have to help yourself.
Yours forever,
Demyx
P.S. The Keyblade is not in essence a weapon. It is an embodiment of hope. For everyone.
Raxet read the letter through several times. Demyx, she thought to herself, really had been a man of great caliber. When she had finished reading it, she lit a candle. Somberly, she burned the pages, thinking to herself that it was a pathetic sort of requiem for a man of music, but she didn't trust herself to sing. Noise traveled strangely in this place. No one needed to know that she was mourning.
When the letter was nothing but a pile of ash on her dresser, she looked around. She had acquired from somewhere a small jewelry box. There was nothing inside; she'd no taste for jewelry. It was a delicate thing, intricately carved with flowers and musical notes. That, she smiled sadly, was at least appropriate. She scooped the ashes inside it and set it carefully back.
"Goodbye, Demyx," She whispered, allowing her tears to drip down her cheeks quietly. "And…Thank you."
