A/N: I think this is my longest chapter yet, but it's worth it. Let me know what you think!
After a few uncomfortable hours, Maura had finally fallen asleep just before Dr. Roark came in. Jane still sat next to the bed, holding her hand.
"How's she feeling?" the man asked Jane.
"Not good. She just now finally fell asleep." Jane felt pretty tired herself, but she didn't dare close her eyes. "Do you know if she's going to be okay?"
"There are some things I need to discuss with her," he answered.
Jane stood up from her chair and sat on the hospital bed next to Maura. Her best friend stirred at the movement. Jane gently pushed her hair back off her face. "Your doctor is here."
Maura was already propped up on extra pillows Jane had stolen for her, but she struggled to sit a little more upright. Jane helped her and readjusted the pillows behind her back. "Hi, Dr. Roark." Maura managed a slight smile.
"How are we feeling, Dr. Isles?"
Jane made a face hearing him say 'we', instantly reminded of the surgeon who'd operated on her after she'd shot herself a couple years earlier. Maura had dated the guy for a short time and Jane always thought he was a condescending ass. Fortunately, Maura had figured that out pretty quickly as well.
"Tired," Maura answered, her tone sharp. It was obvious she was ready to get to the point.
"Any pain?"
"Moderate pressure."
Maura Isles was just about as good at expressing her physical pain as Jane Rizzoli was at expressing her emotional pain. Jane gave her a little nudge. She'd seen the discomfort and wincing over the last few hours and the last thing Maura needed, on top of everything else, was hives.
"Some cramping, for the last few hours or so," Maura added with a sigh.
"Bleeding?" Dr. Roark asked.
"A little. Since about eight."
Jane knew Maura was exhausted simply by the way she was discussing something medical like any normal person would. No clinical terms or doctory lingo, but like an average human. An average scared human.
"My office tried to get ahold of you several times yesterday."
Dr. Roark sounded almost accusatory and Jane felt defensive. "She's been working."
Maura squeezed her hand, but Jane was unsure whether the squeeze meant 'thank you' or 'settle down'. With Maura, it could have been a little of both. "You got the results from my blood test," Maura prompted, sounding like she knew what he was going to say.
"You're severely anemic. You'll need to start taking iron and folic acid supplements right away, as long as the pregnancy continues."
The tactless bedside manner made Jane want to get up and punch this dude. Instead, she turned Maura's hand over and lightly rubbed the inside of her palm with her thumb. This was becoming a thing.
Maura cleared her throat, summoning some kind of strength. "What do I do now?"
"Go home," Dr. Roark said. "Go to bed and don't get up until you come see me next week. Stacy will call you to make an appointment. Until then, no working, no physical activity, and no sexual activity. Prenatal vitamins, iron supplements, and folic acid every day. Stay hydrated. Stay calm. If you faint again, if your heart rate gets this high again, or if the bleeding or cramps get worse, you call my cell and get here."
He wrote a number down on a slip of paper and handed it to Jane. "Call me. If she has fears or concerns, if you have fears or concerns about her, call me any time, day or night."
Jane went from wanting to punch the old man to wanting to hug him. Maura noticed. "He's straight with me because he knows I need him to be."
Dr. Roark smiled, eyes crinkling, looking more like a grandfather than a doctor. "Take care, Maura. I'll see you next week."
When the doctor left, a nurse brought discharge papers for Maura to sign and Jane went to call Frost. They needed a ride back to Maura's and she needed to let the department know she would be taking a few days.
When she got back to the room, Maura was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed back in her clothes from the night before. The nurse gestured to a wheelchair she'd brought in and looked at Jane. "Don't let her walk out." Jane nodded and the nurse left them.
Jane sat next to Maura, putting an arm around her waist. Maura leaned her head on Jane's shoulder. "This is a disaster," she whispered, tears in her voice.
Jane pulled her closer, into a hug, and sat for several minutes while her best friend soaked her shirt in tears. The thought occurred to Jane that she wanted to hold Maura like this for the rest of their lives, to take away her pain and protect her from any more. Maura finally pulled away and used the hem of Jane's T-shirt to wipe at her smeared eye makeup. Any other time, Jane would've given her a hard time about that. This time, Jane waited for her to finish and then kissed her cheek.
"What can I do, Maur?"
"Just take me home, Jane."
Jane helped her into the wheelchair and they went down to where Frost was waiting to take them home. He was visibly concerned about Maura, but Jane warned him ahead of time not to ask questions. When they pulled up to Maura's house, he opened the passenger door and extended his arm to the doc. She took it with a smile. "Thank you, Barry." She let him walk her all the way to her bedroom and then gave him a grateful hug.
"Feel better, Doc." Frost wanted to tell her congratulations on the baby, but Jane had told him he couldn't mention it at all. He hoped Maura and her baby would both be alright. Jane hugged him and then he left, promising to be back later with updates on the case. He knew these women. Time off did not mean time off.
Jane got an oversized BCU T-shirt for Maura, who wouldn't accept help changing, and went to make them some breakfast. Maura must not have been grocery shopping in awhile because her normally well-stocked kitchen was devoid of everything but wine and cereal. She grabbed the box of shredded wheat cereal and took it back to Maura's room, tossing it on the bed.
"This is literally all we have to eat. I'm texting Ma a grocery list. There's not even milk to make it into actual cereal."
"Are you going to tell her?"
"Tell who what?" Jane rummaged through the drawer of her clothes and found a tank and running shorts. She didn't bother leaving the room to change.
"Your mother. About my condition." Maura didn't know why she was so nervous about people knowing she was pregnant, but she especially didn't want people to know now that the chances of her carrying the baby to term were so slim.
"Yes," Jane answered, getting under the covers next to Maura, so close that their bare legs touched. "We can do it together, if you'd prefer, but I am going to have to tell her. She lives here. She already knows something is up. And she's going to have to cover for me when I go back to work and can't be here all the time. She can take more time off than I can, unfortunately."
"Angela doesn't have to watch me, Jane. I think I can manage to stay in bed and do nothing perfectly well on my own." Maura chewed her thumbnail as she spoke, a nervous habit she thought she'd kicked back in medical school.
"You're going to need things. Don't think for one second that I'm going to let you be in this house alone so you can get up and make yourself faint again. I can't deal with that."
"How long did you take off to stay here with me?"
"I managed a week." Jane turned so that she was still propped up on pillows, but facing Maura. "I might be able to take more, but we will see what the doctor says and how you're doing and reevaluate. Make a plan." Jane fully expected Maura to argue, to tell her she shouldn't be taking time off and that there were other people that would need her help, but Maura just reached out and put a hand on Jane's side.
"Thank you," Maura said softly. She tried with everything in her to fight back tears, but pregnancy hormones and fear of what would happen and exhaustion and nervousness about having Jane at home in bed with her and gratitude to Jane for being here with her through this all caught up to her and she began to sob.
Jane wrapped strong arms around her best friend and held her, stroking her hair, until the sobs subsided and Jane's shoulder was numb from where Maura leaned into her. Maura sat back up against her pillows and opened her mouth to apologize for breaking down, but Jane stopped her words with a kiss. It took a moment before Maura came to her senses and pulled away.
"Jane. Don't do this to me."
Jane looked hurt. "Do what?"
The tears threatened a comeback and Maura swallowed hard. "You can't kiss me like that ever again. Not if it doesn't mean anything. You don't know how much you broke my heart after last time."
"Maur, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I freaked out and I'm sorry that I left you and I'm sorry that I refused to acknowledge what happened. I wasn't ready. I realize I owed it to you to explain that, but I'd really like to talk about that some other time, when the woman I love isn't in so much pain. Right now, I'd just like to show you how much this does mean. It means everything."
Maura didn't know what to say, so she let Jane kiss her again, deeper this time, before she pulled away again.
"If this isn't okay, I'll stop," Jane said. "I don't want to hurt you in any way."*
"It isn't that. It's what you said."
"What did I say?"
"You called me the woman you love. You love me?"
"You know I do. Don't overthink it. For once, don't think, or talk, at all."
Jane found Maura's lips again to ensure she didn't say anything else. She was slow and gentle, knowing how tired and in pain Maura was, but also needing her to know that she was with her, all in, no matter what.
The bedroom door opened and this time it was Jane to break the kiss. Angela Rizzoli walked in, looking more amused than shocked. "I got your list. I came to get your credit card."
Jane had absolutely no response as she got up to grab her card from her wallet and she didn't look up as she handed it to her mother. She glanced at Maura and saw her face was flushed, but she was smiling.
"It seems we have a lot to talk about when I get back from the store." Angela kissed Jane's cheek and the top of Maura's head. "Carry on," she called as she closed the door.
"What just happened?!" Jane thought she might have a heart attack.
"She loves us," Maura shrugged.
They both burst out laughing, glad to feel something not quite so heavy. Jane got back into bed and Maura snuggled into her, head on her chest. Jane put her arm around Maura's body, resting her hand on the bare skin just above her underwear, under the hem of her T-shirt, and held her while she slept.
