Disclaimer: I am actually Eoin Colfer in disguise, and therefore I DO, in fact, own Artemis Fowl.
NOT! Tricked you, didn't I? I don't own anything. Too bad. :sigh:
If This Isn't Love
Chapter Three: It Must Be Love
Holly sat on the floor in front of Equette clad in her pyjamas – pale pink flannel pants with Felix the Cat printed on them and a bright pink tank top. She placed the bowl of popcorn she was holding on the floor beside her and settled in a comfortable cross-legged position.
'What do you want to watch?' she asked. 'I have adventure, comedy, romance…uhm…I think there was a Harry Potter movie in here somewhere…'
'Do you have View From the Top?' asked Equette hopefully.
'Yes! I love that one. Even if it is corny.' Holly giggled, then stopped herself in horror. Had she just giggled? She hadn't giggled since high school! What was she, thirty? Making a mental note to control herself in future, Holly quickly played the movie to distract Equette from her odd lapse in character.
Two hours later, the final credits were rolling up the screen, and Holly stood up and stretched.
'I don't know about you, but I have to get up at five tomorrow. I'm going to bed. You can watch anything you like. Sleep on the couch, and if you have a problem, don't you dare call me or I swear I will gut you while you sleep.' Holly gave a warning glare that Equette completely ignored. The centaur leaped up and blocked the doorway to Holly's bedroom.
'No way.' She said firmly. 'This is a sleepover, missy. And at sleepovers you stay up all night and practically die of exhaustion the next day.'
Holly was stepping from side to side, trying to dodge around Equette. 'Keep this up and you'll be dying very soon.' She growled. 'I need to sleep!' groping at her waist for something threatening to brandish, Holly remembered too late that she was in her pyjamas. Fine. She'd take out the centaur with her bare hands.
'You don't need sleep!' Equette insisted. 'You need me to give you a manicure!' and with that, Equette grabbed Holly's hand and steered her, whining and protesting, into an armchair.
'Pink is good. It'll match your PJ's.' said Equette, pulling a small, bright pink bottle of nail polish from her bag. 'And now,' she began dramatically as she carefully coloured Holly's pinkie finger 'it is time for girl talk! Ever had a boyfriend?'
Holly made a non-committal noise
'Oh come on! Tell!'
Holly sighed. 'My last boyfriend was in high school.'
'Name?'
'Brendan. He was captain of the tennis team. And gorgeous, if I do say so myself.'
'So what happened?'
Holly shrugged. 'He wanted me to be queen-of-the-prom material, and I wasn't. I'm still not. So I told him I was sick of trying to win popularity contests, and he ran off with Cindy Greaping.'
'Just like that?'
'Just like that.' Holly snapped her fingers. 'After that I joined the LEP. It pretty much became my life – not that I'm complaining – so I don't really have time to date, even if I wanted to.'
Equette nodded in understanding.
'Well, I've got an idea,' she revealed. She was done with Holly's hands now, and had pulled out a bag that Holly was willing to bet wasn't filled with anything she'd like.
'What?' asked Holly warily.
'We'll make you into queen-of-the-prom material!' Equette announced, holding up the bag. 'Or we'll at least make you look the part.'
Holly sighed. 'Right.' She was resigned to her fate. Which at this stage would probably be an allergic reaction to something in Equette's makeup. It was the kind of thing that just figured. But whatever. This couldcount asthe 'adventure' Trouble had suggested she take.
'So, why don't you try dating someone from Recon?' Equette asked. 'Some people would say it's the best way to meet guys.'
Holly snorted. 'Like who? All the guys in Recon are either disgusting or my friends. And anyway, Internal Affairs wouldn't allow it. Not to mention Root. He'd probably pop an eyeball or something.' Holly rolled her own eyes.
'Hold still!' said Equette. 'And look up.' Obediently Holly stared up at her ceiling. Equette drew a swift line of dark colour under each eye.
'I get what you mean about the office relationships,' Equette admitted. 'Truth is though, I have a bit of a problem with it. I was hoping you'd found a loop hole or something.'
Luckily, at that moment Equette wasn't applying any eye makeup. If she had been it would have most definitely been ruined as Holly sat up quickly. Really quickly. Her brain was putting together a number of facts at light speed. Equette had a crush on somebody at the LEP. Centaurs were only attracted to members of their own species. There was only one other centaur at LEP headquarters.
'Foaly?' she breathed. Equette nodded. 'Oh, that is just perfect! Two centaur geniuses! Root would kill you both!'
Equette made a face. 'Yeah, right. At the moment Foaly hates me. He won't even talk to me. I think his exact wording was 'supplanter.''
Holly laughed. Equette looked vaguely offended.
'Sorry, that just sounds so much like something he would say.'
Equette shrugged. 'He drives me crazy. I want to hate him, but I just can't. Its infuriating.'
'Oh, poor Equette! Her heart wont let her be free.' Laughed Holly in an overly dramatic tone. Equette scowled.
'You laugh now, but don't forget, I control the make-up remover!'
'Good point.' Holly paused, and worked up the courage t ask the question on her mind. 'So, if he's so horrible to you, why do you like him?' she finally asked.
'Oh, I've had a bit of a crush on him for years.' Equette admitted. 'I followed all his articles, and all that. Anybody could tell he was totally brilliant. When I was offered the opportunity to work with him, I was ecstatic. And then he turned out to be so funny, and even though he hated me…' Equette trailed off with a sigh. Holly stifled a giggle. She couldn't imagine anyone EVER having a crush on Foaly, and here was a gorgeous girl completely smitten with him, and he had to go and hate her. It was so typical.
Having finished with Holly's face – the LEP captain had been expertly foundation-ed, powdered, eyeliner-ed, mascara-ed, lipstick-ed, eye shadow-ed and blushed – Equette moved on to Holly's hair. There really isn't a lot that you can do with an auburn crew cut, but that didn't stop Equette from trying. It helped that Holly hadn't had a haircut in a while. A long while. Actually, by Holly's standards it was positively long.
First the centaur attacked her with a brush until Holly's hair was shining. Then she took a small pink tube from her bag, along with a doll-sized comb. As she opened the tube and squeezed some of the substance inside onto the tiny comb, Holly sniffed the air and winced.
'What is that?' she asked in alarm.
'Relax. Its just washout streaks. They'll be gone as soon as you wash your hair.'
Holly had a look on her face as though she was considering doing something very desperate, so Equette quickly grabbed a lock of the elf's hair and combed the pink stuff quickly through.
'So what about you, captain? Sure you haven't got any forbidden crushes as the moment?'
Holly shrugged nonchalantly, but a slight blush was showing through her make-up. 'There might be. I don't know, really.'
'Ooh, complicated is it? Please, continue.'
Holly smiled. 'All right, but no names. I know him from work, and a relationship would definitely be forbidden.' Holly paused. 'I don't know if he's a friend…or more.'
'HA! Well, at least I'm not the only one with a craving for illicit affairs.' Equette laughed.
Silence fell after that. Equette was styling the back of Holly's hair to spike up fashionably, and Holly was looking through one of her favourite websites on her miniCOM – a comprehensive collection, explanation and history of all LEP registered weaponry.
After a while, Holly broke the comfortable silence.
'So are you going to tell Foaly?' she asked
Equette didn't answer for a while. 'I'll see,' She said finally. 'This could just be a crush or something, and that would be awkward.'
Holly nodded. She understood completely. She'd been in a similar situation, a long time ago…
'Okay, I'm done. You can look now.' Equette proclaimed proudly.
Holly got up and walked into her bedroom in trepidation. The mirror inside the door of her wardrobe revealed a familiar person. It was definitely her, but she looked…younger? Yes. But she also looked familiar. And not just because it was her face. There was an old memory of this…
And then it hit her. This was how she had looked for most of high school.
'Wow,' she exhaled softly.
'Vous fait trés jeune,' commented Equette. 'So, do you approve, mademoiselle?'
'Equette, lets just say that if this science thing doesn't work out for you, you have a definite future in the makeover profession.' Holly said dryly.
'Thanks. I've always thought I did good work.'
Holly smiled. ' That's the first remotely conceited comment you've made all night. I don't know what you see in Foaly.'
Equette shrugged and grinned. 'It must be love!'
Aww, two centaur geniuses. Adorable.
Heh, did you see the French I slipped in there? I sucked at French. But oh well. Maybe I'll put Italian in some later chapters.
Thankyou to hollybridgetpeppermint, multiturtle and Brizo for reviewing. See you all next chapter - Cupid's Karma, where Cupid finally makes an appearance! About time, too. :P
