Disclaimer: Don't own it. Don't own any of it. I just twist it to my own evil ends.
If This Isn't Love
Chapter Six: Too much Information
Trouble stood outside the tinted glass of the Operations Booth and knocked. Gently. Foaly hated people knocking, and knocking hard was about the worst thing you could do if you wanted to be let into Ops. Except for Root, who was incapable of NOT knocking hard, but always got let in anyway. Three guesses why.
Of course, being as paranoid as he was, Foaly hadn't provided any other way except knocking for a person outside Ops to get his attention while he was concentrating, so knocking was really the only option.
A moment later Trouble heard the pneumatic hiss that meant the door was opening. Surprised, Trouble walked straight in. Foaly hadn't even tried to get his fingerprints.
Inside, Trouble came face to face with a wickedly grinning centaur.
'Something you want to tell me about a certain female corporal, Captain?' Foaly enquired slyly.
Trouble grimaced. He'd forgotten. Foaly could see everything on his million cameras around LEP headquarters. Everything.
'Yeah, about that. Do you think you could maybe…make it so that that particular shot doesn't show up on the records anymore, maybe?'
Foaly pretended to think about it for a minute.
'Well, the way I see it, the question is not could I, but will I?'
Trouble rolled his eyes. He should have seen this coming.
'A crate of carrots?' he offered
'Four.'
'Two.'
'Three'
'Two, and a bottle of turnip juice.'
'Deal.'
Trouble almost fell off his chair in surprise. That was way too easy.
'Why are you in such a good mood?' he asked suspiciously
'Oh, you know…this and that.' Foaly scrolled through the Neutrino records he'd called up, searching for a shot from Captain Kelp registered at the appropriate time. As the centaur searched, Trouble gazed at the surveillance screen. Although screen wasn't really an entirely accurate description. Surveillance wall was more like it. On this wall Foaly could see every corner of LEP headquarters. At the moment almost every desk was filled with a busily writing officer. On a screen on the top right corner of the wall trouble could see the now deserted corridor where Lili had, erm, attacked Grub. The mere memory made Trouble shudder. There are some things you just don't want to know. But Foaly had obviously never heard of the motif 'too much information.'
Trouble was about to turn away from the wall and examine some the other gadgets that Foaly had in there – you didn't get into Operations every day – when something on a panel on the left of the wall caught his eye. This camera showed images of Root's office where, for some reason, Wing Commander Vinyáya was standing with her hands over the LEP Commander's eyes.
When Vinyáya had finished in the toilets she had smoothed her hair, straightened her uniform, and walked off to Root's office. She hummed under her breath as she walked through LEP HQ, pleased at the thought of seeing Root, who she had long regarded as something of a hero. Certainly he was the best commander the LEP had seen in a while.
Vinyáya was just heading past the Operations Booth, almost at Root's office, when she felt a sharp pain in her lower back. Gasping quietly at the sudden pain, Vinyáya clasped her hands over the affected area. Nothing there. And the pain was gone now, vanishing as quickly as it had come.
'Commander?' a nearby officer was looking at her with concern
'Its nothing,' Vinyáya muttered. Doubling her speed, she almost ran to Root's office. It suddenly seemed very important that she see him. More important than anything.
Root was smoking, entirely engulfed in a cloud of green smoke, when his office door opened and shut quickly. Unfortunately the noxious green atmosphere prevented him from being able to see who had entered the room.
Not that he was worried. It was probably just Foaly coming to complain about Equette again. Well good. He could have the useless pony make him a new ventilator.
As Root put out his cigar, preparing to deliver a loud speech to the person he assumed was Foaly, a pair of hands covered his eyes from behind. Root almost jumped all the way out of his chair with surprise.
'Guess who?' said a female voice playfully. Displaying extraordinary powers of deductive reasoning, Root decided this probably wasn't Foaly.
'Holly?' he growled
'Guess again!'
'Lili? Corporal, if that's you I swear I'll –' Root struggled to come up with an appropriate threat as he tried to pry the hands form his eyes.
'Empty threat, dear. Try again.'
Root frowned. He definitely knew that voice.
'Wing commander?'
Vinyáya removed her hands to clap. Root stood and turned quickly with his own hands in a stereotypical defensive position.
'Oh, don't be silly, dear. You couldn't beat me even if I wasn't trying.' As she said this Vinyáya moved slowly closer to Root, until her face was barely an inch from his. Root leaned back onto his desk. Bad idea, as it happened. When he put his hands down, he inadvertently turned on the PA system connected to his desk. If this was any ordinary PA system, the fact that it was on wouldn't have made the slightest difference, as most PA mikes don't pick up sound unless its aimed directly at them. But Foaly's equipment was all whisper-sensitive, and therefore managed to pick up every word that Root and Vinyáya were saying. Not only that, but it simultaneously broadcast the conversation to a first confused, then amused, then vaguely embarrassed audience of LEP officers.
Trouble was not confused to hear the conversation. He was surprised, yes – Foaly's surveillance didn't pick up sound – but he wasn't confused. Coupled with the visual that was being projected crystal clear onto the wall, the sudden sounds from the previously muted conversation gave Trouble enough information to know exactly what was going on. And he found himself very quickly wishing he didn't.
'Look, Vinyáya, this is out of order –'
Whoa, blowout! Trouble cringed.
'Oh, come now Julius! Don't tell me you don't want this?' Vinyáya leaned even further forward, her voice husky.
'Be that as it – ' Root began in a high voice. He stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again.
'Be that as it may, it is highly inappropriate. You are a member of the Council and I am the Commander of the LEP! And though I'm not sure what –'
'Julius,' Vinyáya interrupted
'Yes?'
'Shut up and kiss me.'
There was a clattering sound, magnified by the PA system. At the same time Root and Vinyáyá disappeared behind Root's desk, where thankfully the camera couldn't see them.
Foaly tapped the screen. 'D'arvit!' he muttered. Trouble stared at the centaur in amazement.
WAY too much information…
Sorry, must run...all the way to school. Please review!
