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Living with You
Chapter 6
"Gone?" She could only breath the word out, she couldn't even say it. No matter how low her spirits had been moments ago, Bulma had had some sort of hope that had still been living deep inside of her. It was strong and unyielding when the rest of her had believed her child was dead. Now the feeling was gone and she felt empty and completely alone. For anything else, having Vegeta there with her and having him looking so concerned and ill at ease with the entire situation would have made her feel better. She wouldn't have felt alone at the very least. But now she felt alone in the wide world.
He was cautious. Bulma could be unpredictable at times, and this was one of them. He had no idea what to expect from her. He wouldn't know what to expect from any woman in this situation. For now, she seemed hurt but calm, but that could change at any moment. Would she fly into a rage if he said yes? Would she collapse into a puddle of tears? Anger and rage he felt he could deal with, but not her tears. Vegeta hated tears from anyone. The bad part would be that he would feel obligated to comfort her. In any other situation that she might cry in front of him, but he knew he could walk away and someone else would be there to comfort her. Hell, even if no one were there, he would still leave. But not now. This was a big deal, and Bulma was losing her inner strength to her loss, he could tell. There was no way that he could turn his back on her here. He could feel her feelings of abandonment and loss, her pain, her anger at the world for being so cruel.
It was moments before he realized that he was even getting these feelings from her. It wasn't so much that they were radiating off of her, but that her inner turmoil was reaching him. He knew what it meant, and it scared him more than the blood on her pants, more than anything else that had ever happened to him. He would gladly have met with and been forced into Frieza's rule again if he could get out of this situation he now found himself in. Never in his life had he ever believed it would happen to him. With all the other Saiyans dead, and in Goku's case stupid, he never felt that this sacred Saiyan event would happen to him
"Vegeta," Bulma broke into his thoughts. He looked over at her and met her eyes. He realized again that she hadn't really reacted to her loss.
"What am I going to do?"
Her eyes were searching and pleading. This wasn't Bulma wheedling for an answer she already knew or wanted to hear. This was Bulma begging to be told what to do for once. She couldn't think for herself this time and it scared her. Vegeta was always so good at giving orders, she knew that she could depend on him to tell her what to do. And she also believed that the answers he gave would be the right ones, no matter what she thought. He always thought about things logically and he saw things in the long term, rather than in the short term. Because of this, he would be able to know how Yamcha would react if he were to be told about the baby and what consequences there would be in her circle of family and friends for not telling any of them about it.
"Please, Vegeta, what should I do?" Her voice cracked ominously and Vegeta shifted uncomfortably knowing that she was so close to losing her self control.
He thought ahead for her and saw the many consequences. For the moment, he couldn't seem to get past his own problem, as he knew it would be a key figure in her future if he was right about what he thought he was feeling. But, the truth was, he didn't truly understand Yamcha. Her parents, he felt that she could tell them and everything would be okay with them. Her friends, she could tell and they would be sympathetic to her. But Yamcha, Vegeta couldn't figure out what he would do. Actually, he had to admit that all he had ever done was observe Yamcha to see how stupid he was and how pathetic his fighting style was. He had never really digested any information about him other than that. If he had to say anything, it was that in recent weeks, especially since the whole lying incident, Yamcha had become vastly more protective of Bulma, and he had also become bolder. It was something new for Yamcha, and Vegeta didn't know if it would last, or if the idiot would deflate once he heard the news of his child's death.
"I think you can tell people about it," he finally said. "Your family, your friends. Yamcha… I'm not sure about that."
"Great…he was the one I was asking about you know?" She sounded angry and sarcastic.
"You know him better than I do. It's all interconnected, woman. If you tell your family and friends and leave him out, it's going to get to him sooner or later, and he'll be mad if you aren't the one to tell him. If you think he'll take it all right, then by all means, tell him. Otherwise, I would suggest not telling anyone about it. I would say to tell your parents, but your mother doesn't seem like she can keep anything to herself. Maybe only tell your father. He's always too busy with other matters to go around blabbing your secret to everyone anyway."
Bulma drew up her knees to her chest and sat biting the nail of her thumb. "If you were in my situation, what would you do?"
Vegeta sighed. "I wouldn't tell anyone. It's not their business."
She changed tactics. "If you were in Yamcha's place…would you want to know about it?"
"Yes. But I wouldn't go around torturing you about losing it. I'm thinking that Yamcha will be upset that you didn't tell him about it from the very beginning. And that he won't believe that it's not mine," he looked at her meaningfully. "And also that he is going to not leave you alone about it."
"I should have told him right from the beginning," she whispered. Her head was in her hands.
Vegeta did not reply. Instead, he stood up and roamed around the cave looking for one of the capsules he kept here. Finally after a long search, he found it and popped it open. A dresser popped out and he pulled out several drawers, taking out a new shirt and pants for her to wear.
"Do you want a set of underwear as well?"
He didn't sound very sympathetic. He had just blurted it out, but Bulma didn't care. "I don't care," was all she said.
He pulled out a pair of boxers and set the clothes next to her. When she didn't move, he realized that it might be because she wanted privacy, so he made to leave the cave to get in a little training before he had to fly her back to her home.
"Vegeta," she said stopping him.
He grunted in question.
"I need something to wash myself with."
He stepped back a little in a startled fashion and looked around the cave for something for her to use. Obviously she wouldn't want to just change clothes and still be covered with blood, how could he be so stupid? He didn't think he had anything for her to use. When he came out here to train, he never really had anything but a few changes of clothes for when he ruined the ones he was wearing, and a refrigerator stocked with food. For water, he flew to a nearby waterfall. It was there that he also showered, if he showered at all on those trips. He did happen to find some bowls that he could fill with water for her use though.
"Look, I can go and get you some water. I don't keep it here. I'll give you a shirt or something to scrub with, but I'll have to go and get the water. It's a few miles away, I won't be long."
She barely nodded. He blasted off into the sky.
When he returned, he found Bulma curled into a fetal position against the rock wall, as if it would hold her and bring her comfort. Vegeta stood looking at her with the bowls in his hands before setting them down.
4 Hours Later:
Bulma woke up with her whole body aching from her ordeal and from sleeping on such a tough surface. She looked around and realized that it was dark out, but that Vegeta had built a fire inside the cave to keep her warm. He had also uncapsuled the refrigerator in case she was hungry. He had thought of everything, but where was Vegeta himself? She stood up and walked with aching joints to the edge to look out of the cave. The night sky was beautiful from this vantage point. There were no lights to block out the radiance of the stars and of the galaxy from view. No lights except the ones Vegeta was creating. She could see a dark form darting around in the air. He threw up balls of energy and rushed up to meet them before kicking them into a mountain that was a great distance away. He did it so many times, but Bulma saw that his heart wasn't in it. It seemed like this was more of a game or a sport to him, rather than any kind of serious training.
She turned away smiling, believing she had witnessed another piece of the Saiyan culture in action. Perhaps it actually was a game? A game from a planet and people long dead except for in the heart and mind of its prince? Bulma made it over to the refrigerator and got out a few cans, barely glancing at them to see what exactly it was that she was going to eat. Before she got back to the fire, she happened to glance at lump a few feet from her. They were clothes…her clothes. The ones she had just been wearing when she had miscarried. Her mouth gaped and the cans fell to the floor and rolled away from her. Bulma looked down at herself and touched her stomach and legs frantically before she realized she was in the new clothes Vegeta had gotten out for her.
"Did I change?" she wondered. "I don't remember changing…"
Vegeta had heard the cans drop and had come back to see how she was doing. He picked up the cans that were dangerously close to falling over the edge of the cave and looked for Bulma in the semi-darkness. He worried that she might have collapsed or something, but instead he found her standing, slowly turning to look at him with suspicion in her eyes.
"How…" she started.
"How what?"
"My clothes…"
He lifted his head up in recognition and struggled to keep in a laugh. He smirked at her before walking past her to exchange the canned peas, canned beets, and canned tuna for a combination of food that was more palatable.
"If I would have done anything bad to you, I'm sure you would have woken up."
"So what did you do to me, huh?" she shot back accusingly.
"Really, need we go through this again? I have more pride than to do something like that." He turned back toward her to find her still glaring at him. "I stripped you, washed you, and then reclothed you with the new clothes I had given you to wear. Pardon me for thinking that you didn't want to sleep in your own blood out here in the desert and have it be caked onto you for not washing it off promptly."
"You could have woken me up," she said half defiantly. She realized that he had done her a favor, however inappropriate she felt she had to view it. Actually, she was more thankful than anything. Maybe it was better this way? So that she wouldn't have to face the blood and death?
He caught on to her true feelings and again thought about his own dilemma.
"Does oatmeal sound better to you?"
"Yeah, I guess. I don't really care what I eat, Vegeta."
"Yes, I sort of figured that out," he said as he looked over his shoulder at the peas, tuna, and beets.
He sat next to the fire and started to make the oatmeal for the two of them.
"You look like you have a lot on your mind," Bulma stated after a while. She had sat down and had been watching him as he cooked. At first she only looked at him to have something to look at, but slowly her mind had drifted, as it always did, and she noticed that his brow was often furrowed and he frowned most of the time he was cooking, though she doubted it was because of the food.
He looked up at her, only momentarily stopping his stirring of the oatmeal.
"Should I tell her?" he wondered. "This is important to us both. She should know, I suppose. Maybe we can break it off early if she wishes. Hell, I want to break it off early. I don't want to go through all of that crap."
"Vegeta?" Bulma cocked her head to the side, wondering what it was that was affecting Vegeta so much.
He hesitated before answering. He wasn't sure he wanted to do anything, but he felt that it was his duty. If Bulma had been another Saiyan, she would have known anyway, he wouldn't have to tell her about it. "If something very important to your life in the future could be told to you, would you want to know? Now think of this in your scientist frame of mind. Think of unbalancing the universe or something." He was really stretching it now. Nothing he told her would unbalance the universe, but he desperately didn't want to tell her. He wanted to keep it from her and try to push it away on his own. Duty, however, told him to tell her.
"Well, I guess if it would be that bad, then however curious I am, I would have to say that I don't want to know."
She looked at him questioningly. This was extremely uncharacteristic for him to be beating about the bush for anything. He was usually blunt and forceful, but she detected a hint of nervousness in him, more in his composure than in his voice.
He sighed, knowing that the problem wasn't as bad as all that. "What if it is something that you don't have much of a choice about? In order to stop it, you would have to go through a lot of torturous pain?"
She looked at him with wide eyes, but didn't say anything. Was this about his past? Was he opening up to her?
He sighed again, but this time more impatiently. "If you wanted to dictate your own life, not have nature control it for you? If you didn't want to deal with someone, would you want to not know of their connection to you and therefore not have to worry about their fate being tied to yours?"
"Vegeta, eons go by faster than you get to your point."
He growled with lowered brows. "Fine," he replied through gritted teeth. "But give me your answer. Would you want to know?"
"Yes! Yes, I would, now get to the point."
Well, I thought I would end it there, seems like a good place to stop, right? Haha. Well, to me anyway. Sorry this is a shorter chapter, but you know. Cliffhanger. Yeah.
Lady Branwen
