Disclaimer: ( I am listening to Rammstein now) After being out for a while, I have decided to update this glorious parody! I do not own any of the anime/videogames that make an appearance in this story. It's good to be back folks! Give me the reviews!
Chapter the seventh: Tsukasa's third near death experience...
We will now check up on Yoko at the fake Orthanc tower, which is owned by Queen Beryl.
" I hate you Shingetsu..." Yoko only grumbled this.
And "I hate me too" said the director off stage
" I wonder how Tsukasa is doing" Yoko commented to himself, " I hope he didn't have another heart attack..."
Meanwhile, Inuyasha was leading the four "hobbits" into the wild
" Where are we going?" Tsukasa asked.
" Into the wild" Inuyasha responded.
" I know that's what it said a few lines up" Tsukasa said, "But where?"
" To Ooyama village" Inuyasha said but then slapped his forehead, " Damn it I mean Rivendell!"
The four "hobbits" cracked up laughing at Inuyasha's stupidity. The four then had very large bump marks on their heads.
After walking for 30 long miles, the hanyou led the four "hobbits" to an old building.
" This is Aman-sul's old watchtower" Inuyasha said, sounding like a tour guide; " it burned down in The Great Fire of Chicago"
" Oooooo" the "hobbits" said in awe. Rini, took a picture of Inuyasha and the old tower.
" They say that a bunch of freaky stuff happens after midnight up there" Inuyasha continued, " Like ghosts and apparitions appear to TAKE TRAVELERS TO HELL WITH THEM! BUWHAHAHAHHA"
The traveler bit was just used to scare the poor four "hobbits"...and it worked because all four of them ran around in circles yelling " WERE GONNA DIE!"
" Well let's head up there for the night so we can rest" Inuyasha said with a smile on his face.
So, Inuyasha led the four "hobbits" to the old run down watchtower. The tower didn't look very safe. For one thing, there was a basement that had freezer that oozed blood every few minutes. Rini, being "brave", checked to see if there was any ice cream in it. No such luck for the Chibi Sailor Scout.
" Well!" Inuyasha said and clapped his hands together; " I'm tired of this place and everyone in it. I'll be back in about two or three hours."
So the four "hobbits" were left alone in the old watchtower. As Tsukasa dosed off, Rini, Shippo and Karou played "The Scream as Loud as You Can" game. It was either that or "The Floor is Lava" (I would have played the flood is lava)The winner ended up being Karou, who shouted-
" I LOVE YOU KENSHIN HIMURAAAAA!" Karou shouted, sending out an echo down to the valley below. And I can assure you, 50 miles away at Rivendel; our own Kenshin Himura sneezed very loudly while meditating...poor Kenshin-sama (sniffle).
" Hey will you keep it down!" Tsukasa said after the last shouting round.
" Don't worry Tsukasa!" Karou said, " We'll be fine"
Just then, a loud SCREEEEEEEEEECH was heard across the valley. Ayame, Tohru, Kagura, Momiji, and Kyo-ring wraiths were walking into the tower.
" Switch to battle mode!" Tsukasa said triumphantly and summoned his staff.
Tsukasa and the others ran for their lives to the very top of the tower. Then, Tohru walked into where the four "hobbits" just where.
" Knock knock!" Tohru said cheerfully.
" Tohru were nazgul!" Kyo-ringwraith said, " Nazgul don't go knock knock!"
" Nor do they have any fashion sense" Ayame commented, " I mean c'mon! Black draping cloth with a black hood-oooo that's soooo original...sarcasm!"
" Well I think it's fun!" Momiji said while grinning, " It's like Halloween! WHEEEE!"
Momiji-ring wraith danced around until Kyo-ringwraith bashed him in the head.
" Whaaa! Tohru-ringwraith, Kyo-ringwraith hit meee" Momiji cried.
" Kyo! What an unkind thing to do" Kagura-ringwraith said and then went demonic on Kyo, " wOuLd YoU dO tHaT tO oUr ChIlD?"
" Hey focus!" The director called out, " Go attempt to kill the 'Hobbits'"
The five wraiths said, " HAI!" In unison and slowly snuck upstairs.
Upstairs-
" Got any two's?" Tsukasa asked
" Go fish" Karou responded.
The five wraiths popped into view.
" I am very sorry for having to do this" Momiji said while taking out his sword, " I hope we can still be friends afterwards!"
Kyo pretends to knock out Rini and Shippo.
( "Please God, don't let Tsukasa have another heart attack"-Kato thought)
Ayame goes towards Tsukasa slowly. Tsukasa then, on accident, tripped foreword and landed on Ayame. There was a small POOF and Ayame transformed into his snake form.
" CUT!" the director shouted, " Re-do that!"
" ADLOTR's TAKE 5" Ben shouted and snapped the clipy thingy, " ACTION!"
Tsukasa fell backwards this time and put on the ring, disappearing. Ayame smirked and stabbed thin air. Tsukasa screamed bloody murder, the pain unbearable. Just then, Inuyasha appeared and attacked by hugging Kagura-ringwraith. Kagura-ringwraith turned into her boar form. Karou hugged Ayame and Momiji-ringwraiths while Rini tackle-glomped Kyo-ringwraith. The three turned into their respective animals of the Zodiac. As Inuyasha and the hobbits rushed off with an injured Tsukasa, Tohru-ringwraith checked on the other ringwraiths.
" Why don't you go after them!" Kyo screamed at Tohru.
" Were a team! And we have-" Tohru began to say. But then, Kyo, Ayame, Momiji and Kagura turned back into their human forms.
" -EEEEEEK" Tohru freaked out and turned around while the rest put their close on, she managed to finish her speech, " We have to stick together"
Meanwhile, Karou was feeling one of Tsukasa's cheeks, " He's getting cold!" Karou said.
Inuyasha looked back at the three, all of them trying to comfort Tsukasa.
" Is he going to die?" Rini asked the hanyou.
" Yes" Inuyasha said in a frank tone and leaned over to Tsuakasa, " Gooo tooo the liiiiight Tsukasaaaaa"
" INUYASHA!" Shippo shouted and slapped Inuyasha in the head for his idiocy.
Inuyasha then decided to get help from Karou.
" Help me find weed" Inuyasha said and began to read his hand, " Um... Advil..less"
" Hai!"
Inuyasha and Karou went and searched for kingsoil. The Hanyou was about to get a leaf off the ground when an arrow is felt at the back of his head.
" Kagome?" Inuyasha said.
" Guess again Inuyasha..."
(enter the p.o.v. of Tsukasa)
I see darkness all around me.
So many things I should have done...like trying Red Bull...I hate Yoko...
A glowing Miko walked up to Tsukasa
That costume makes her look fat...
( Oo;; ok we should exit the mind of Tsukasa now)
Kikyo was glowing thanks to the aid of her soul skimmers. She knelt down and spoke to Tsukasa.
" Come back to the light Tsukasa-chan" Kikyo said.
" IDIOT! LIGHT MEANS DEATH!" The Director shouted from off stage.
" Damn it!" Kikyo said and then shook Tsukasa, " Stay wherever you are. We'll get help!"
" We gotta take him somewhere safe" Inuyasha said
" My God!" Karou said, " That's the smartest thing you've said so far in this story!"
Luckily, Inuyasha did not hear the comment that Karou said. Kikyo managed to get Tsukasa up onto her loan horse (notice I put loan and not lone) and rode off into the night...which is odd because it's only three o'clock in the afternoon.
" So...you guys wanna play poker?" Rini asked.
" HELL YEAH!"
Back with Kikyo-
As Kikyo rode, something happened. All nine- That's right!- All nine of the ringwraiths appeared and began to tail Kikyo. The group was Ayame, Tohru, Hana, Shigure, Kyo, Momiji, Kagura, Uo, and, Akito.
" Here we go again" Ayame sighed, " Gureeee-saaannn! I hate being a Nazgul! They don't have any fashion sense!"
" Aya-chan your forgetting" Shigure said, " It is not about the fashion! It's about the slashin'"
" Hai you are right" Ayame said and laughed.
The nine chased Kikyo throughout the entire set. Kyo almost crashed into the editing trailer and ran over Kato.
" WAHHH!" Kato screamed while on the ground...poor Kato ( ;;)
Finally, Kikyo got across the river. The nine couldn't cross because they were afraid of water.
" Give us the stupid wavemaster!" Akito managed to shout...poor Akito, he was running a fever once again.
" Try it!" Kikyo shouted and took out her bow and arrow.
The nine drew there swords and...Kikyo couldn't remember the spell for the river flood.
" Uh I know!" Kikyo said and began to pray,
" Dear Kami,
Please send Sephiroth to kill the Nazgul.
Amen"
" D'oh!" Kato said and then shouted, " Queue flood!"
The flood came roaring down between the nine and Kikyo.
" AHHHHHHHH!" The nazgul screamed and where swept away by the flood.
Tsukasa let out a groan, the poor guy was dying.
" You really aren't faking a heart attack" Kikyo said and hugged him, " Tsukasa be strong"
Next time on Anime Characters do the Lord of the Rings:
The forming of the tomodachi!...aka- there goes the fanfiction.
