Back at the apartment, Nejire immediately went to get a shower, mostly to escape her friend's anger. When she came back out, Toga informed her that she'd thrown all her pill bottles down the garbage chute. Then she demanded to go through Nejire's phone, and when she found the texts from Tomura, she sent him some threatening messages as well.
Retreating to her bedroom, Nejire curled up on the bed, feeling sorry for herself. Gulliver jumped up and laid beside her. When she reached out to cautiously run her fingers over his back, he didn't run away, but that just made Nejire cry. She fell asleep with one hand in his soft, fluffy fur.
When she woke up later, she felt awful. Her whole body hurt, and her head was in a fog. She peeked out of her bedroom door to see Toga in the kitchen. "Come on out," Toga called, "I promise I won't bite."
Nejire couldn't stay in her room forever. Nervously, she padded out in her bare feet and sat at the kitchen counter. Toga set a plate in front of her and scooped out some stir fry from a pan. Cautiously, Nejire took a small taste. It was delicious. Toga fixed another plate for herself.
Between bites, Nejire glanced up. "Are you still mad at me?"
"I'm pissed," Toga said. "But I love you."
"Did you really have to throw them all out?"
"Yes, I did. You're lucky I don't kick you out of my place."
"Stop it! Those were prescribed for me by my doctor."
"Maybe at first," Toga glared. "You know what you did was sketchy as hell. Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get in? Or even just the side effects from that shit?"
"You don't understand how much pain I'm in, every single day."
Toga's expression softened. "Of course you are, after what you went through! But that's not the way to deal."
"Then how? It's only been a few hours and I already feel horrible!"
Toga rested her chin in her hand. "Well, that's not exactly my specialty, but I know some people who have been through it."
"Like who?"
"Remember my friend Jin?"
Nejire scoffed. "No way. He's a disaster. How's he gonna help me?"
"You're in no place to judge. At least talk to him."
"I'll think about it."
Nejire had the dream again that night. It hadn't bothered her in weeks, which made it worse when it finally did return.
She was pinned inside the crumpled car, as the shock wore off and the panic started to set in. Blood ran down her face and dripped into her mouth, making her cough.
Someone grabbed Nejire's left hand; it was her friend, in the driver seat. When their eyes met, the fear in the other's eyes only scared Nejire more, so she looked away. As she moved, sharp, shooting pain sucked her breath away.
Nejire woke in her bed, her heart pounding. Gulliver scurried away as Nejire flung back the sheets. She tumbled out of bed, reaching for her bag, only to remember that her pills were gone. She crumpled to the floor, unable to find her way out of the nightmare.
She heard the bedroom door open, and Toga hurried in. "Hey, it's okay." Toga wrapped her arms protectively around Nejire.
Nejire relaxed a little in her friend's warm embrace. "I thought you were at work."
"I took the night off; I thought you might need the company."
"Thank you."
Nejire was struggling. She tried to stay busy and keep her mind off it, but every day felt like a constant uphill battle.
Giran had booked her another gig, so she was working on some new choreography. This time there would be two dancers, which took a lot more complex planning than just one. She was often tempted to call Giran and back out of the gig.
On top of that, Nejire had caved into signing up for amateur night at Liberation , which was just a few weeks away on Halloween.
Between going off her meds and pushing her body harder, Nejire was miserable.
To her credit, Toga did what she could to help. Once, when she found Nejire curled up and whimpering on the couch, Toga sat beside her and began to play with her hair, running her nails over Nejire's scalp. Before long, whenever they watched television, Nejire would flop down beside her, making sad eyes until Toga got the hint. "You're like a big cat," Toga would tease.
Nejire also noticed that Toga was warming up to Gulliver. Sometimes Nejire's bedroom door was mysteriously left open, and the cat would come out to explore. Now that he was clean and healthy, he was a lovely cream color. His hard life and prior injuries left him with a permanent sad expression, which struck pity in anyone's heart. Whenever Nejire shared photos of him online, he got a lot of attention.
Nejire hadn't heard from Dabi. She couldn't understand why he had acted so strangely that day. She never would have figured him as one to make a big deal about something like pills.
He hadn't uploaded their video, or even shared a teaser photo. Nejire tried not to let it bother her, but it did. Her focus had been elsewhere, and she tried to tell herself that Dabi was probably just busy, too. More often than she would admit, Nejire snuck a peek at Dabi's posts. Usually she stuck to instagram, but occasionally she checked his Only Fans. Their video was still not there.
One day she scrolled back through his older videos. In one, she could see the back of a thin, pale-haired young man as he knelt before Dabi. Nejire realized it was the exact same position she had been in on the floor by Dabi's bed, and it was like a jab in the heart.
She looked at the growing stack of messages that Dabi had left on read.
Nejire: are you upset with me?
Nejire: Toga got rid of everythign
Nejire: finish tat soon?
Nejire: hello….
Nejire: you ignoring me now?
Nejire: rude
She typed out yet another message, and with an impatient sigh, clicked send.
Nejire: where is our video?
This time, Dabi replied almost instantly, and she quickly sat up.
Dabi: can we talk soon
Dabi: in person
Nejire ran out of her bedroom and shoved her phone into Toga's hands. "What does this mean?" she demanded, as Toga studied the screen. "Do you think I did something wrong so he can't use the video?"
"Nej, babe, don't even go there." Toga frowned at the messages. "This is definitely weird. Maybe he got an STD? No, he could just text you about that. Maybe…" Toga smirked, trying to lighten the mood. "He's going to prison, but for something really lame, like tax fraud."
Nejire tried to push down the worried, sick feeling in her gut. "He's married."
"With ten kids," Toga added.
"His mom wants to meet me."
"No, his dad wants a threesome." Toga gagged at her own suggestion.
"He wants me to join the Church of Scientology."
Toga's eyes grew wide. "Worse; he's a Brony."
Nejire laughed. "Ugh, forget this, I'm just gonna walk over there."
"You want me to come with?"
"Nah. I'll text you after."
Toga squeezed her hand. "Okay. Be safe."
Nejire went inside Stain and approached Tomura at the counter. "Is Dabi free?"
He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Does your friend know you're here?"
"Yeah, sorry about her."
"Dabi's finishing up with someone. You're welcome to wait."
Nejire sat down in one of the plastic chairs in the entry.
Tomura gave her an odd look. "You know you can go on back."
"I'm good." She stayed put.
Twenty minutes later, Dabi appeared with a customer. She was tall and blond, and Nejire felt jealousy curl in her stomach. When Dabi noticed her waiting, he left the woman at the counter with Tomura and approached Nejire, looking nervous. "I wasn't expecting you. Can we go somewhere?"
Nejire thought back to the wild scenarios that Toga and she had come up with. Could the truth be something even weirder? Maybe it was better to stick with someplace public. "Let's walk," she offered.
Soon they had gone a few blocks down the sidewalk. Dabi hadn't said much; certainly nothing that explained his strange behavior. His hands were shoved in his pockets.
Nejire sighed. "You wanted to talk, right?"
"Right. Of course. How are you doing? You're off the pills, right?"
"Yes, Toga is keeping me in line." Nejire took a deep breath, and asked the question that had been bothering her for weeks. "What happened with our video? Did I… do something wrong?"
"God, no! You were perfect." He seemed genuinely stunned by the idea. "It just didn't seem right; with the pills you were on, you weren't in any place to consent to all of that."
Nejire scowled. "I knew what I was doing."
"Anyway," he sighed. "That's not what I wanted to talk about." He glanced sideways at her as they continued along. "So, I'm fully aware you're going to hate me after this, and I don't blame you one bit."
Nejire stopped walking.
He turned back to face her. "I need you to know, when we met, I had no idea who you were. Okay? Just remember that, please."
"Dabi, you're scaring me."
"I never knew your name or anything about you. And I'm sure you never heard of me; my father made sure of it. He tossed around a lot of money to keep our family name out of the mud."
Nejire's pulse pounded in her ears. Her world was collapsing, and she could do nothing to stop it.
"Your accident… the driver who hit you… that was me."
"No-" It was like seeing everything through the wrong end of a telescope.
"Your settlement was through Endeavor Agency, you knew that much, didn't you?"
Nejire folded over, bracing her hands on her knees. Her breath was coming too fast, too shallow.
"Whatever you think of me right now, I deserve it, and worse."
Nejire squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself not to pass out right here on the sidewalk. "How long have you known?"
"I started to put it together when you and Toga were talking about New York, but I told myself it was just a coincidence. Later that night I looked up your name, and I read about the accident. The dates matched up."
Tears burned in her eyes. When she didn't speak, Dabi went on.
"I wanted to tell you right away, but I didn't think it was fair to dump all that on you before we even finished your coverup work. I owed you that, at least.
Nejire suddenly thought back to Dabi's apartment, the way he looked at her after the camera was off, how it felt to kiss him. She felt hysterical. "You knew who I was, and you still…. you let me…"
"When you asked me to do the video, I thought it was a sign that I should keep my mouth shut; that I could just… let you be happy, and not ruin it. You were doing so well! At least, I thought you were."
"I trusted you. I almost-" Her stomach turned, and she gritted her teeth, forcing down the bile in her throat. "How could you?"
"I never meant to hurt you, Tiny. I'm so sorry."
Nejire forced herself to look him in the eyes. "Sorry? You're sorry? You ruined my life! I lost everything because of you. Everything!" She straightened up to face him. "You almost killed me. Sometimes I wish you had; it would have been easier."
Dabi kept his mouth shut, but he flinched as her words struck.
Nejire felt the rage bubbling up, overtaking her other emotions. "You didn't even set foot in jail, did you? Thanks to our settlement. Was that your daddy's doing?"
He flinched. "Yes."
"I was in the hospital for months. You took away my career, my plans, my entire future. Did you face a single consequence for what you did?" Her hands shook, and she balled them into fists. "Answer me!"
"I lost my license, and I had to go to rehab."
"Wow." She gave a bitter laugh. "That must have been so hard on you."
He had the decency to look ashamed.
Nejire caught a glimpse of the treble clef on her wrist, and her skin began to crawl. "I already hated the way I looked; you knew that. Now I can never see any part of myself without being reminded of you." She raked her fingernails over the tattoo.
Dabi reached out as if to stop her, but he caught himself. "I know; I wish..."
She cut him off. "I wish we had both died that day."
His blue eyes glistened with hurt, and it pushed Nejire's anger over the boiling point.
She slapped him across the face. He winced, but made no move to stop her. "You're right, Dabi, I hate you. I hate you!" She shoved him with both hands, and he stumbled back. "I hate you!" Her voice rose to a shriek as she pushed him again. "I hate you!"
"Nej!" Toga's voice rang out, and Nejire looked around, disoriented. Toga was running towards them.
Nejire turned her attention back to Dabi, clutching the front of his shirt in her fists. "I wish I could make you feel everything you put me through."
He didn't resist. "Go ahead. Don't hold back."
"You don't tell me what to do, asshole!"
Toga grabbed Nejire by the shoulders. "Wait, Nej, I've got this." She pried Nejire's fingers from Dabi's shirt, then walked her back a few steps. Once Nejire was at a safe distance, Toga turned and punched Dabi in the stomach. He doubled over with a wheeze. Toga put her arms around Nejire. "Are you okay?"
"No! It was him all along." Nejire felt weak. Her adrenaline was running out. "It was him!"
"I don't understand, Nej. What did he do?"
"He's the one that hit me."
Toga pulled out a switchblade and flipped it open.
"No, listen!" Nejire grabbed Toga's wrist. "He was the driver… in New York." Looking into her friend's eyes, Nejire saw it click, but Toga couldn't believe it either. "It was him," Nejire repeated.
Toga turned slowly. "You sick bastard." Her voice was cold and terrifying. "What kind of twisted game…" Dabi's eyes were focused on her knife.
Nejire held on to her. "Toga, stop. I wanna go home."
"Fine." Toga kept her eyes on Dabi. "If you try to contact her, I will fuck your shit up. Google my arrest record if you don't believe me. And delete the video."
Toga led the way home, her arm around Nejire as she trudged along. At one point they had to stop so Nejire could be sick in someone's flower bed. Eventually they made it back to the apartment, and Nejire immediately slumped to the floor, curling up in a ball. Toga brought over a glass of ice water and pulled Nejire into her lap, stroking her friend's hair.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"No. Yes." Nejire sipped the water. "I feel like I'm stuck in a bad dream."
"Yeah, I'll bet. How the hell did he find you?"
Nejire rubbed her forehead. "That's the thing, I found him. Neither of us had any idea."
"Don't you dare start making excuses for that shithead."
"I know." She squeezed her eyes shut. "How could I be so stupid?"
"You're not stupid. You just look for the best in people. Even when it's not there."
The dream returned again that same night.
Nejire could hear the ticking and hissing of the damaged engine before she opened her eyes. Her skin was damp with her own blood. She looked to her left, relieved to see her friend was okay. Then she looked to her right. Outside the broken window, she could see the other car. She couldn't remember the impact, but the two cars were fused together where they had struck.
Nejire craned her neck, looking for the other driver. She eventually spotted him through the cracked windshield of his car. His head was down, his face propped on the steering wheel. As if he sensed her gaze, he lifted his head. Blood trickled from a cut on his forehead. He opened his eyes, bright blue eyes, and they saw each other.
In her bed, Nejire clutched her pillow, shaking all over. Gulliver pushed his head against her. Trembling, she reached out, and he rubbed his cheek against her fingers, purring loudly. He kept at it until Nejire was no longer shaking. "Thank you, Gullie," she whispered.
She couldn't tell if the dream was a real memory, or if she had convinced herself. She slid out of bed to sit on the floor, reaching for her phone.
First, she googled "Endeavor Agency" and quickly found their official site. The company was a top-tier talent agency, with offices in New York City and Los Angeles, as well as other countries. The founder and CEO was an intimidating-looking man named Enji Todoroki. Nejire instantly knew this must be Dabi's father; they both had the same startling blue eyes.
She tried searching for "Todoroki car accident" but nothing came up. It must have cost a lot to keep a secret like this. She tried googling "Todoroki rehab" instead. This time, plenty of results came back, about an infamous male model named Touya and his rock star antics. In the photos he already had his scars and piercings. From what Nejire could tell, it appeared that his entire brand was to be a gorgeous bastard. He had done a few stints in rehab before, but always went back to his wild ways. There were paparazzi photos of him attempting to block the photographer from taking his picture, or simply raising his middle finger in defiance.
Later articles talked of his fall from popularity, and then his fading from the public eye. Nejire checked the dates on those; they were all from soon after the accident. A few months later, it seemed that the person named Touya had disappeared off the face of the earth.
