Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, do not own any of the anime/videogame characters, movie/book(i.e- Lord of the Rings) based characters, or anything of the sort stated within. I, Kato Shingetsu, claim ownership to Holly Belladonna Slyvina and Haru the Sabaku-Kitsune Youkai. I, Kato Shingetsu, claim no ownership to any of the muses in this story. So Ben, Jimmy, Steven: Go grab a soda and read.

This chapter contains various references to Ringu. Please know that Koji Suzuki owns Ringu/The Ring and that he rocks!

I had to watch a bit of The Two Towers to find placement for all of the scenes. So let's see how well I did.


Chapter 13- How to operate your Palenthier.

So after leaving Tsukasa, Karou and Aki to the miserable DOOM, we will now join Shippo and Rini. The two were on the backs of some Youma of Beryl's army.

" WHEEEE GO FASTER!" Rini shouted.

" WILL SOMEBODY SHUT HER UP!" Riku shouted.

So Rini was punished by having duck tape put on her mouth. Because nobody likes Rini.

" Tru dat" Shippo commented about the statement made above.

" Ok your next" Riku grumbled to Shippo

Anyway-

Inuyasha was busy sniffing the ground. Two people were waiting for Inuyasha's status report. The two were Kagome and Kuwabara. It had been a week since the three had seen their two "hobbit" friends.

" There that way" Inuyasha said pointing west, " About a day's trip ahead...maybe more"

" Alright let's go" Kuwabara said.

The two began to sprint but then stopped when they noticed that Kagome wasn't following.

Kagome was to busy studying for a math exam.

" Ok so if you combine the two angles on a vertical plane" Kagome said to herself (a/n: No I have no idea what the hell I just wrote...I am not good with math)

So, Inuyasha and Kuwabara had to drag Kagome around to Rohan.

Meanwhile in the dark tower thingy...wait it's coming to me...IZU...wait I mean Isenguard.

" Here's how you remember" Ben said to Kato, " Izu is from the Japanese version of the Ring. Isenguard doesn't rhyme with Ringu...get it"

" Ok that works" Kato nodded.

" Your all weird" Sephiroth said and walked away.

Anyway, Beryl (who I absolutely refuse to call Queen Beryl) was busy trying to contact Sesshomaru.

" Let's see" Beryl said picking up her orb manual, " How to operate a Palantheir...To make a call; say person's name, followed by the word call"

" Doesn't seem to complicated" Beryl said and tried it out, " Call Sesshomaru"

The Palenthier heard a different name and said-

" Calling- Sadako Yamamura" The Palenthier responded and then began to dial Sadako's number

" Oh hell no I don't want to talk to that loser" Beryl said.

It was too late, Sadako picked up the phone-

" Sadako's base, I won't stop till every human is dead!" Sadako said happily, " This is Sadako how can I kill you?"

" H-H-Hey Sadako-sama!" Beryl said, " This is Queen Beryl. Um...how's it going in the well?"

There was a brief silence.

"...oh it's fine I guess" Sadako said, " But ever since the American version of the Ring came out...people have been busy talking to Samara...It's like nobody cares about me anymore..sniffle"

" Well that's too bad-" Queen Beryl said but was then cut off by Sadako.

" I mean, I'm a nice person" Sadako said, " I volunteer at an animal shelter on the weekends. But noooo, because I have a Japanese name, I'm not mentioned in the American version"

" Don't forget that your a hermaphrodite" Queen Beryl commented

There was another brief silence between the two callers.

"-your gonna die in se-" Sadako began to say.

But then Beryl hung up on the Japanese psychotic psychic and was absolutely shaken.

" C-can we go to the next scene? Please?" Beryl asked the director.

" Ok sure" Kato said

So, we leave Beryl to hide in her tower. We now go to some village in Rohan, Middle Earth, Area code 00023. The small village was being attacked. We were gonna have that "heartwarming" scene between a mother and her two chldren. But nobody cares about that part. So instead it was going to be destroyed by Sephiroth's Meteor-

" WHO'S BEEN MESSING WITH THE SCRIPT?" Kato shouted, " C'MON I DID NOT PUT TH-"

Before Kato could finish bitching, Sephiroth jumped out on stage and summoned Meteor. The Meteor came down and obliterated the town.

Ben and Jimmy came out from behind a protection wall. Both of their hair was blown back because of the force of Meteor's impact.

" Dude" Jimmy said, " That was awesome"

Anyway, we now join a group of people who have been yet to introduced to this madness that we call a fanfiction. They could simply be named "The Drive-By Gang". Why? Because they specialized in Drive-By's. They were led by a one Yusuke Uramsehi, who's supposed to be playing as Eomer. Yusuke was second in command of Drive-By. The first in command was Cloud Strife, who is being Theodred.

Unfortunately, Cloud had been seriously injured in a fight and was now being carried into a hospital ward.

" That was by far" Yusuke said, " The coolest stunt ever!"

" Yeah" Cloud said and coughed, " Who knew I could swallow glass"

The two guys were joined by Sango, Yusuke's "sister"

" Cloud-san" Sango said, " How are you feeling?"

" Every waking moment is agonizing now that my beloved Aerith is dead!" Cloud wailed in pain

Sango looked off set to see Aerith (alive) shrugging her shoulders. She had that "I'm still alive" look.

" I'm really sorry to hea-" Sango began to say, but was then cut off by Cloud.

"-Dead because that pretty boy Sephiroth had to stab her!" Cloud wailed even louder, "If only I had pulled her out of the way!"

Cloud broke down in sobs. Even though if he looked straight ahead, Cloud could clearly see that Aerith was truly alive. But alas, Cloud is too stupid to look up and see his love.

As Cloud was babbling on about Aerith, Yusuke motioned to a nurse to give Cloud an morphine shot. Yusuke and Sango walked out as the nurse prepared the shot. Then, the unthinkable happened. The nurse pulled a zipper-rip tick (a/n- like those pepsi commercials) and the nurse revealed herself to be Jaken.

0.o...I know, disturbing.

Very, very disturbing...


Next Time- Somebody is scene...

oh and I know that Sango is not related to Yusuke. I personally am against made-up characters who are related to main characters. I don't like it. It just seems to...Mary-Sue-ish.

Oh and Happy Halloween everyone!