Disclaimer: I don't own the Lord of the Rings or any of the anime/game characters you see within this fanficiton. I own Holly and Haru. The muses Ben, Jimmy and Steven appear cause I made them- HAHAHAHH!
Chapter 15- Kato's got problems
We now rejoin Tsukasa, Karou and Aki (Mikage) Aki was leading the two to the doom that was Mordor. Now only where there Youma, Heartless and the occasional Sephiroth sighting in Mordor. There was also the Lord of Mt.Doom!
Saro-
" This is Anime characters do the Lord of the Rings" Kato said to the announcer.
Right, Sesshomaru...
" Ahem" Kato said
Sigh...Sesshomaru-sama.
Any whom, we all know that Sauron didn't get a lot of screen time in LotR's (and possibly for a good reason).
But this is ACLotR, so were gonna give the fan-girls what they want.
" YAY!" Kato squealed from her chair and kicked her legs. Everyone else let out a sigh at Kato's fan-girls attitude.
At Sesshomaru's tower:
Sesshomaru was using the palentier to make a call.
" Hello?" Sesshomaru said, " Is this Prosthetic Limb Replacement INC"
There was a pause.
" This is Sesshomaru" he said, " This Sesshomaru placed an order for a prosthetic arm three years ago...No it still hasn't come in...This Sesshomaru has paid you seven times! Don't put this Sesshomaru on hold!"
Alas! They put Sesshomaru on hold anyway. So fan-girls, don't attack this Kato Shingetsu. Attack the PLRinc. They won't give Sesshomaru-sama an arm.
" Now! Lets go back to Tsukasa, Karou and Mikage who are going to destroy the ring!" Kato shouted.
" Wh-" Sesshomaru began to say, but we cut him off.
Back with Tsukasa, Karou and Aki:
Aki finally led the two out of the kills.
" See" he said, " I told you I'd help!"
" Ok! Fine! You win Mr. Smartass!" Karou shouted and then grumbled something about booze. It was then when Karou stepped into something slimy. " Ewwwwww!"
" What is this place?" Tsukasa asked.
"There called the Dead Marshes" Aki answered.
" We wanted to call them Numachi No Shinda" Kato said, " But out of ph34r of disrespecting Tolkien or his die-hard fans, I decided to leave the name alone"
"...so there're the Dead Marshes?" Tsuakasa said after a few moments.
" Yup!"
" If you jump into the water" Aki said, " ghosts come for your soul"
Karou gave a small gasp of fear. But alas! Tsukasa wasn't listening.
" I'm gonna go for a swim!" Tsukasa said and jumped in.
" YOU IDIOT!" Aki and Karou shouted at the same time.
---
Tsukasa opened his eyes while underwater and saw all of the dead, angry souls coming for him.
" I wonder if their all friendly ghosts?" Tsukasa asked himself
Just before Tsukasa could be pulled down to his water grave, a hand pulled Tsukasa out of harms way.
T'was Aki. Good ol' reliable, insane Aki!
" I told you to follow me.." Aki mumbled.
(a/n: FFVII: Advent Children soundtrack is kickass!)
Later, everyone was resting for the evening. But Tsukasa was stroking the ring.
Remember? That's what this whole effin' fanfiction was about! Not bishounen and awesome battles with anime characters! Tsukasa has to destroy the Ring! Otherwise, Sesshomaru will take over the land. Not that I mind though, cause Sesshomaru is damn fine!
" Stop being so fan-girlish Kato!" Ben said, " Your beginning to scare me"
" NEVER!" Kato shouted to her brother-in-arms.
Anyway, back to Tsukasa. Tsukasa was stroking the ring in a caring way. " I love you Edwina" Tsukasa purred, " yes...my Ring Edwina"
" I miss the Ring" Aki said aside, " Aya...yes...I called her Aya..before stupid Elk stole it!"
"huh?" Tsukasa said to Aki
" uh...Go back to sleep Master!" Aki said
Tsukasa walked up to Aki, " So you like any music?" Tsukasa asked.
" Country Western is pretty good" Aki answered, " I once spent 150'000 ¥ at a Suncoast for some cd's"
" Yoko told me about that" Tsukasa reminisced, " Your Aki Mikage, right...and you had a sister named Aya Mikage?"
Aki gave Tsukasa some puppy dog eyes: " I miss being normal!" Aki said and began to bawl his eyes out.
" Your not alone...Aki-chan" Tsukasa said. Aki gave Tsukasa a weak smile, and for a second there, Aki was human again.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!
Karou woke up with a start, " Yoko Ono's in town!" she yelled and hugged her teddy bear for dear life.
((a/n: Yoko Ono was a "singer" from Japan. you could say she's the one responsible for breaking up The Beatles))
" No! Black Riders!" Aki said, " Hide!"
Tsukasa then began to have a seizure. Hey! New story, new illness.
" That's new" Karou said and began to drag Tsukasa away.
So the three hid under a shrubbery and saw something that shocked then.
Akito was riding the dragon...
Ben started to snicker because of the drug refference. " Oh grow up!" Holly said
" Can't you kill these guys?" Karou asked.
" Only with some cheat code...but that's in the videogame!" Aki said and sobbed, " They want Ay- I mean Edwina!"
Tsukasa then let out a meep of fear.
Akito rode off into the night, with nothing to report to Sesshomaru-sama.
Sesshomaru-sama let out a sigh. " No new arm. No good news" Sesshomaru said, " This Sesshomaru is not pleased..."
"What do you want me to do about?" Akito said rather defiantly.
" This Sesshomaru wants you to come back with some good news...or This Sesshomaru will kill you"
Akito growled and went into one of her berserk tantrums.
" WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! I AM THE HEAD OF THE SOHMA HOUSEHOLD! I BEAR THE FULL WEIGHT OF THE SOHMA CURSE! AND UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO ORDER ME AROUND! DO YOU HEA-"
-Please Stand By-
We now rejoin Sesshomaru and Akito. Sesshomaru was about to kill Akito for his disrespectful rant. But stage hands Ben, Jimmy, Holly, Sephiroth, Yoko, Cloud and Yusuke held back the Youkai while Kato and Shigure calmed Akito down.
So there were the two on set again, alone.
" This Sesshomaru wants you to come back with good news" Sesshomaru said with demonic eyes.
" Yes my lord" Akito said grudgingly and flew off.
" Everyone take a five minute break" Kato sighed.
Everyone walked away and Kato slumped in her chair. Ben, however, was very absorbed in his gameboy game. " Wheeee ."
" Otouto-chaaaan!" Kato whined, " O-negai desu, I need your wise council"
(translation: Little Brother! Please)
" Um...ok" Ben said. Ben then took out a tiny magic box.
" Hey that's Gayle's!" Kato said
" Yup!" Ben said and tossed the box into the air.
There was a loud POOF noise and lots of smoke. When the smoke cleared, Ben was now in a business suit and was at a desk.
" Time for me to play Psychiatrists!" Ben said triumphantly, " Tell me what's up"
Kato, who was lying in the cleshé lie-back seat began her sob story.
Five hours later:
" -and then Nii-san humiliated me in front of all me in front of my bestes-" Kato began to sob.
" OK I GET IT!" Ben shouted ( facial expression: ;;-.-), " YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS! I thought you wanted me to do my job as a muse?"
" Yeah" Kato sniffled, " What can I do to make this story better?"
It was then when Yoko appeared out of nowhere. " Put me back in the story" he said
Kato and Ben however were not paying attention. " I mean it's gotta be something people love!" Kato said
" Put-me-back-in!" Yoko said, and it's funny cause he is right next to Kato.
" What about a monkey who makes toast?" Ben suggested.
" Damn it!" Yoko shouted, " But me back in the pointless fanfiction!"
" Ben, what is it with you and toast?" Kato asked
" I just think it's so cool" Ben said with a smile on his face.
Yoko groaned out loud. Here were two high school students who had poor listening skills.
" Hey I got it! Why not put Yoko back into the story?" Ben said
" Otouto-chan that's a great idea!" Kato said with glee and stood up. It was then when Kato saw Yoko (who is literally three feet away from her), " Yoko-sama! Ben just came up with the great idea!"
Next chapter...ok folks now we know what happens next!
