Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, do not claim any ownership to the anime or video games that are present in this fanfiction. I, Kato Shingetu, do not claim any ownership to The Lord of the Rings. I, Kato Shingetsu, own the copyrights to Holly and Haru. Ben, Jimmy, and Steven are appearing for the purpose of entertainment only.
01-20-06: I didn't update last week because I was very tired. I've been working on my school work. I've also been writing my Yu Yu Hakusho Horror story (Kyofu/Virus) and that has been draining me of my energy. My main concern with Kyofu/Virus is to make it so you know it's my story. The problem is it's based off of Ringu so yes, Kyofu/Virus is going to have the cliché story line with a little girl coming to kill you. My other main concern is the OC's in the story. Holly is going to be a main character in Kyofu/Virus.
Oh and I'm also trying out for the school play ( A midsummer nights dream). Wish me luck! I want to play a minor role!
Anyway, on with our current story- ANIME CHARACTERS DO THE LORD OF THE RINGS!
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Chapter 22-...stays in Helms Deep
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So there were Shippo, Rini and Sanoske in the forest. They were waiting for the other members of the Sekihoutai to come for the meeting.
"..."
"..."
"...moot.." Shippo finally said to break the silence
" Moot?" Sano repeated
" Yup...Moot!" Shippo said
" What the hell is Moot?" Sano asked
" Your face! OOH BURN!" Shippo said
Everyone had sweatdrops on their head. Shippo was getting lame with the jokes. But Sano kinda fell into that one. Anyway, the random members of the Sekihoutai showed up for the meeting.
" Ok, roll call!" Sano shouted, " Aki?"
" Here"
" Gimizu?"
" Present!"
" Maraku?"
" yo!"
Two hours later-
" Zuru?" Sano called for the last member.
" Right here!" Zuru shouted
" Ok then" Sano said, " The twenty third meeting of Entmoot is all in session. Our first order of business: Beryl is cutting down the forest for profit!"
Everyone was dead silent.
" The forest we live in" Sano said to the crowd
Still, everyone was dead silent.
" That's bad" Sano added.
Everyone let out a gasp! For tearing down the forest that they lived in WAS bad!
Anyway, lets leave the idiots to their meeting and go to Helms Deep.
At Helms Deep!
People were being hauled off to battle. All non combatants were moved into shelter. Now in the movie, women were excluded from battle for some strange reason (coughsexistscough). But even though I wanted to base this off of the movie, I, Kato Shingetsu, have decided to let women have equal share of the fight.
" YAY!" All of the women fighters shouted.
Oh except for Sango. My reason for excluding Sango is because she's playing Eowin, therefore she has to wait for the cross dressing scene.
" Aw c'mon!" Sango shouted to Kato.
" Sorry honey" Kato said, " I can't make everyone happy"
Sango gave a "hmp" and walked into shelter. It's funny. Sango, an experienced Demon Exterminator is excluded from battle because of her gender. Yet little boys who are trying to act gangsta with their beanie hats are given a sword and rushed into battle.
" What the hell are you talking about?", Cloud asked Kato
" Watch the freaking movie!" Kato said, " The little teenage boys are wearing beanies! That's so gangsta!"
" Somebody want to give her a tranquilizer?" Yoko whispered to Ben.
" I would have done that before she started the fan fiction" Ben commented
" Right..."
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In the Armory of Armor (HAHAHAHhahahaha...I'm running out of material -sobs-)
" How many of you have had actual solider training?" Inuyasha asked the crowd of about three hundred.
Dead silence must be a trend here, because that was the answer given to Inuyasha. Dead freakin silence.
" WERE SCREWED!" Kagome wailed with grief. She didn't want to die! She had a math exam on Wednesday.
Even though Kagome said those harsh words, the "soldiers" continued to prepare for battle. Even thought many of them were going to meet a doom that involved a sword, a flying arrow, or some other point object, there were the "soldiers" getting ready to face that DOOM!
" SCREW THAT!" The soldiers shouted when they heard the narration from above.
Kato let out a sigh while sitting in her authoresses chair and slumped in her seat.
" I should really learn to shut my mouth" Kato grumbled.
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Meanwhile, Koenma was hiding under his table in his room. Not that he was scared about fighting the 9,999 heartless/youma/darkness battle...ok maybe a little but that's besides the point! Anyway, George walked in with some Samurai armor. Hey! Since this is ACLOTR's, I think that the anime should wear Samurai armor.
" Sirrr! Are you in here!" George asked, " It's time to get ready for the big fight sequence"
' Maybe if I'm quiet, George won't find me' Koenma thought.
Lo and behold, George looked under the table and found the toddler. " Lord Koenma! There you are!" George shouted.
" AHH!" Koenma yelped, " I don't wanna go! Why'd I sign up for this story!"
Anyway, Koenma grudgingly dressed in the Samurai outfit. The pro about being the King was that he got to have his own mon- dammit it I finish that word, Cloud's gonna ask " What's a monolouge?". Let's call it a soliloquy ( one of the meanings of a soliloquy is the act of talking while or as if alone)
" What happened to the simpler times?" Koenma said, " When I could just walk outside and not get possessed by some evil witch? Or when an evil army of 9,999 combatants wasn't out to kill us?"
" I think those times were stole by Disney" George said, " They're gonna rule the world by 2034"
" True..."
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Finally! We get to the big fight sequence! YAYAYAYAY! People began to line up at the wall. Inuyasha was sulking because he had to be human for the evening.
Just then, Sora (from Kingdom Hearts) walked up to Inuyasha. Sora cleared his throat after a few moments to get Inuyasha's attention.
" What!" Inuyasha asked irritated.
" I'm scared daddy!" Sora whined and hugged Inuyasha
" I'm not your daddy!" Inuyasha shouted and kicked Sora off of him, " BUGGAR OFF!"
" FINE!" Sora said and chose a new victim to pester. Sora grabbed hold of Sephiroth and hugged him, " I'm scared daddy!" he said to his new father figure.
Sephiroth gave Sora the death glare of all death glares. There was no way in hell that Sephiroth would be the father of Sora...We at The Shingetsu Acting Company know that their is only one person who can possibly be related to Sephiroth...It's Ben, trust me.
" YES!" Ben said while jumping up, " I'm pure evil!"
" Go you..." Kato said dully.
" ENOUGH!" Sephiroth shouted at the two. He said to Ben, " YOUR NOT RELATED TO ME" and the Sephiroth said to Kato, " AND YOU NEED TO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT! AND FOR GODS SAKE LET ME KILL SOMEONE!"
" FINE!" Kato shouted back, " You can kill Riku"
" YES!" Sephiroth said (oddly in the same fashion that Ben said and did it).
" BUT! It's to be a FAIR FIGHT!" Kato said, " Any freaky godmoding, and your a dead godling"
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Inuyasha was preparing for battle. Technically, Inuyasha was going to be USELESS in battle. But did that stop our favorite half-dog demon from the fight- hell no!
Just then Kagome walked in.
" W-were gonna win this fight, ne Inuyasha?" Kagome said quietly.
" Right" Inuyasha said while standing up.
So the two went outside while Kuwabara was STILL trying to write a letter to Yukina.
'Dear Yukina,
It is really, really cold here at the fortress thingy...' Kuwabara wrote
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Outside, Squ- I mean Leon appeared with a small army of Elf-mikos were martching to the fortress. All the while chanting an army marching theme:
" I don't know what I've been told. Something something rhymes with gold!"
"...idiots" Kato said under her breath.
" HEY!" Leon shouted to the fortress, " Open up! Were here to lend a helping hand!"
" Bitch'n!" one of the guards said and the gates were opened to the elf-mikos.
Anywhom, there was the small 400-ish army waiting for the 9,999 army of darkness.
" Yeah, were screwed" Kuwabara said.
Then out in the distance, the darkness came...not the kick-ass Band. The Army with Darkness/Heartless monsters, armed with weapons of all sorts. Swords, spears, armor, you name it, they had it.
" I'M GONNA GET THAT SHINY DIME!" Riku shouted
Oh yes, and THEN it started to rain.
" yay" both armies said sarcastically.
Yes. There were the two armies. The good guys led by Inuyasha (in human form), Leon and Koenma (yeah their screwed). The Heartless/Darkness army led by Riku. And the people in the cave are playing the Scream as loud as you can game.
The Darkness shouted to taunt the good guys.
" Uh can we have a better army name?" Leon asked Kato
" No" Kato said.
" Dammit"
" HA HA YOU GUYS HAVE A SUCKY ARMY NAME!" some of the heartless/darkness army shouted.
Unfortunately, one of the guys in the good army was intimidated by this taunting. He accidentally shot off his sniper riffle at a heartless. The poor heartless was busy chattering to his neighbor about his girlfriend.
" I miss my gi-" Phil the Heartless began to say. But Phil was hit by the stray bullet, and died.
" YOU IDIOT!" Inuyasha shouted at the man who accidentally shot the heartless.
" OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED PHIL!" Riku shouted
" YOU BASTARDS!" the 9,998 army said simultaneously. And let me tell you something brother, there is no time in your life when you will be more frightened when a 9,998 army says " YOU BASTARD" simultaneously.
" LETS KICK SOME ASS!" one of the heartless shouted.
The Darkness army charged at the wall. As if that will do anything. What are they gonna do? Poke the wall in hopes that the wall will say " Ooo! You hurt me you-you stupid lady!" and if will just crumble to pieces!...
Well that's just what the Darkness army was hoping will happen. They charged at the wall and began to stab at it, while the good guys just gawked at the Darkness' stupidity.
A wave of arrows came raining down at the darkness army. Some where instantly impaled on the spot. Others were lucky enough to bring ladders. On top of the ladders were psychotic heartless who were on crack or LSD man!
" AHHH MOTHERLAND!" One of the Psychotic Heartless shouted and lept onto the bridge where the good guys were.
Don't worry folks! The Psychotic Heartless was instantly sliced in half by Kuwabara.
Like they say: What happens in Helms Deep, stays in Helms Deep
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Next time on ACLOTR's:
We finish the battle...and lots of other crazy stuff happens as I butcher J.R.R. Tolkien's greatest work ever. May heaven have mercy on my soul!
