Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, claim no ownership to any of the animes, video games, or the Lord of the Rings. Holly Slyvina and Haru are mine. Ben, Jimmy, and Steven are appearing because I asked them too. I do not own any of Gwen Stefani's songs mentioned in this fanfiction.
12-27- yeah my plans for chinese new years didn't go so well...but it's all good. I just don't like being alone, on the weekends of all times! sobs in the corner
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Chapter 23- Of meetings and whiny girls
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Back at the big meeting, Rini and Shippo were playing poker. Not the kind of poker where you have to strip if you lose. Cause if your thinking that, your a god damn pervert!
Anyway, Sano walked into view. " Good news kiddies" Sano said to the two
" You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance by s-" Rini began to say, but was cut off by Sano
" No this is way better!" Sano said, " We've decided that you kids aren't apart of the Heartless...even though Yoko came and said you were good, we just like to make sure"
" Yeah,...what about Beryl?" Shippo asked
" About that" Sano said, " we all decided to become pacifists"
" HA!" Ben said to Kato, " See I told you it was a real word"
" Well I'll be damned..(v.v)" Kato said while frowning.
Aw crap we have to go back to the battle now...OR DO WE!
Guess wh-
" You just sa-" Jimmy began to say to the narrator. But was quickly socked in the face by Kato.
" I hate that fucking commercial" Kato said
Anyway, since it's now the 'in' thing to bring dead bat demons back to life, we join Kurone in some bar out in the middle of somewhere. Unfortunately, poor Kurone met something even worse then death.
Sitting across from him was a girl who didn't know how to shut the fuck up!
" So I said 'No way' and she said, 'ya-hu-'" The girl said with a whiny voice. Before she could finish, Holly pushed the girl out of the chair and sat down. "OUCH!"
" Yo" Holly said, " You Kurone?"
" Yeah...is she your friend?" Kurone asked while pointing to the unconscious whiny girl.
" pft Hell no!" Holly said, " I wanna know what the hell are you doing out of hell?"
" I don't know" Kurone said, " This always happens in somebody's crazy fanfiction. I heard that Yoko was in the fanfiction too"
" Gonna go save his sorry ass?" Holly asked
" No I was gonna go laugh at his sorry ass" Kurone said
" Oh?...In that case" Holly said and took out a folder from her coat. It was labeled 'Blackmail' on it, " Word on the grapevine was you were gonna come to kill us all or something of the sort"
"..I have better things to do with my time" Kurone said and took a sip of his drink.
Just then, the whiny girl from before came too and started to babble at Holly.
" Why'd you do that! OH MY GOD YOU BROKE MY NOSE!" The girl screamed.
Ten hours later,
The two had walked out of the bar and were making their way back to the filming area. The whiny girl was still following them.
" I thought I was going to bleed to death!" The whiny girl babbled.
" ENOUGH!" Kurone shouted and then turned to the whiny girl, " Listen, lady. Stop following me! I don't care about your stupid little friends! GOT IT!"
The whiny girl blinked...and continued to babble. And then, she crossed the line for filming and died because one of the heartless took her for a spare fighter.
" Hurray!" the two shouted and took their respective seats at the side lines.
Anyway, back in the big battle.
Heartless started to batter ram the front door. Which is bad because the front door was made out of cardboard and backed up with ducktape. Even though it was very flimsy, the cardboard door held when the Heartless began to bash it with a batter ram.
"Were winning?" Koenma said aloud, " Were winning! YES!", he said while doing a fan dance.
And then, the heartless put a spiky bomb in the drain- the Achilles heel of the fort.
A Psychotic Heartless came running up. He must be Riding the Dragon or something because he screamed, " I HATE PUPPIES!"
" Screw you!" Inuyasha shouted.
And somewhere in the Dark Tower, Sesshomaru sneezed for some odd reason.
" AHHH MOTHERLAND!" The Psychotic Heartless shouted
The Psychotic Heartless jumped in
" WE GO BOOM YA!" The Bombs shouted before-
KABOOM! (size of font should be 72 for maximum impact but what are ya gonna do?)
The wall implo...no wait it exploded! Yeah right exploded! People, heartless and chunks of the wall went flying into the air.
" Aw c'mon!" Koenma shouted while putting away the dance fans, " Just my day"
A chunk of rock smacked Kato across the head. Kato was knocked out.
" Kato?..." Ben said and nudged her in the head with his foot. No good, Kato was out cold. " Oh sbeepit" Ben said and sat in the directors chair.
Inuyasha got up to see the Heartless were swarming in. Kuwabara decided to play hero and leapt in to slice and dice the Heartless.
" I don't want to kill...but I don't want to die!" Steven said while fighting.
Kagome got to do yet another kick-ass ninja stunt. She skateboarded down the stairs, did a Judo Air (earning her 540 points) and shot five arrows into one Heartless.
" I love this show" Ben said a'la Gir
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" But were Pacifists!" Sano shouted
" No your wussies!" Shippo shouted back
" Shut your pie hole!" Sano shouted and then walked away, " I'll give you a ride home...dumb kid"
" Don't worry Shippo" Rini said while placing her hand on his shoulder, " We have each other"
" What have I told you about touching me?" Shippo asked
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" We really screwed up big time (u.u)" Koenma said while frowning. The shame of defeat was near unbearable.
Koenma looked to see that George was trying to sneak away.
' Maybe if I'm reaaaaly quiet, he won't see me' George thought.
" Get back over here!" Koenma shouted to the ogre. He then shouted over to Inuyasha, " RETREAT!"
" I DON'T RETREAT! I AM NOT WEAK!" Inuyasha shouted back
" Just do what he says!" Leon shouted to Inuyasha
And then, Leon ran into Riku.
" You traitor!" Leon spat at Riku.
" Hey I'm only doing this for a shiny new dime" Riku said in his defense.
" Oh that makes it all better" Leon said sarcastically.
Riku gave a smirk and with increased speed, he slipped behind Leon and stabbed him in the back. Leon let out a small gasp of pain.
" OH NO! PERSON WHOSE NAME HAS LEFT ME!" Inuyasha shouted.
" Squall" Ben corrected Inuyasha.
" What type of a name is Squall?" Inuyasha asked
" My name...is Leon.." Sq- I mean Leon said with his left breath. And he died.
Inuyasha was enraged by the death of Leon. He fought on with the strength of...1 man...because unfortunately, he was human for the night. Could life get any worse?
Well the cardboard doors were getting a good ramming.
" Ok...I know death personally" Koenma reassured himself, " I have nothing to fear! To the cardboard gate!"
" Aye aye!" George said and drew his sword, " Uh...Koenma?"
" Yes?"
" Why do I have a plastic sword while you get a real samurai's katana?" George asked
" You have to take that up with Kato when she's conscious again" Koenma said.
The Heartless roared with rage as the door began to show signs of wear and tear. Koenma got stabbed and immediately stabbed his attacker back. That's all he had to do in the fight to get three purple hearts.
" That's John Kerry.." Inuyasha mumbled while walking up to Koenma, " But listen- The baka and I have an idea"
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Inuyasha and Kuwabara slide out of an ever-so-secret door and hide behind a door.
" So how are we gonna do this?" Kuwabara asked Inuyasha
Inuyasha grabbed Kuwabara by the collar.
" What are you doing!" Kuwabara hissed.
Too late. Inuyasha threw Kuwabara over the ledge and into battle with the Heartless. Kuwabara rose up with Spirit Sword in hand, swinging left and right. Inuyasha jumped over and clobbered some of the Heartless with his blunt Tetsuaiga. Imagine that! Kuwabara and Inuyasha fighting Heartless- it's every Otaku's dream.
" Amen!" says the otaku of the world.
Kato was awake by this time now, listening to Gwen Stefani.
" Tick tock tick tock. Take a chance you stupid Ho!" Kato sang while dancing.
" Please help me...get me away from her" Ben said while taking a few steps back.
Anyway, the Heartless brought out the heavy artillery. A giant harpoon.
" Sweeeet!" Ben said while looking at the giant harpoon.
It gets even worse (Ben: SWEET!). The Heartless get even cooler, bigger ladders then before. So there able to climb up the ladder and the Harpoon rope.
" Dammit" Koenma grumbled.
" I ain't Hollaback girl. I ain't no Hollaback girl" Kato sang while still dancing.
And somewhere, many, many miles away, Yoko and Yusuke shuddered in fear. Something told them Kato was singing and dancing.
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Next Time on ACLOTR's-
Kato sings some more...NO JUST KIDDING!
We finally finish the battle! (YAY INUYASHA GOES BACK INTO HALF DEMON MODE!)
Review! Because you know this shit is bananna's! B-A-N-A-N-N-A-S!
" Oh good you CAN spell!"-Sephiroth
" Man shut your damn pie hole!"-Kato
