It was November 1st. I couldn't believe what I was reading in the Prophet. James and Lily! Dead! But Harry, Harry was still alive. Voldemort was defeated, but that was poor consolation for the death of Lily and James Potter. Poor consolation for the betrayal of Sirius, one who I'd once considered my closest friend.
My body shook with tears; tears that I was unable to let out due to my continually forced calm; the calm I, a werewolf, had always forced myself to live by. The clinking of china could be heard as I tremblingly set down my cup of tea.
I felt so alone. I needed to take in Harry, but I wouldn't, couldn't put him in danger. Besides, I was sure Dumbledore would want to find a suitable home for Harry. I would be left out of the picture, almost completely without friends. Peter. He was the only one left, for Sirius was dead to me. And he would never live again.
Dear Old Padfoot. May he rot in his grave.
Peter. That little rat. That traitor. I gave him my friendship, I trusted him with my best friend's lives. We all trusted him.
Moony. We all thought it was Moony. How could we have thought that? How could we have let a prejudice that we swore to never even think of worm it's way into our friendship? James and Lily were gone.
My heart jumped as I realized that the world thought I was their secret keeper. At the time, that was a good thing, but now… they would send me to Azkaban. Remus would hate me. And Voldemort… he would do everything in his power to make sure it stayed that way.
My heart jumped again as I remembered. There was no Voldemort! He was gone! But his defeat had cost the death of my two best friends. It was all my fault. I had told them to use Peter. I told them that no one would bother coming after him, they would all suspect me.
But it was also Peter's fault. And this time there was no "Dark Lord" to come after me when I dared go after one of his followers. I would kill Peter. In the middle of a street if I had to; a muggle street even. I would do it.
And with that resolved, I supressed my slight trembling, sipped some tea and, on the way out, calmly threw the almost (but not quite) empty cup at the wall.
The Dark Lord was gone. Left in ruins, because of my information. If no one from the ministry figured out that I was the traitor, The Dark Lord's remaining servants would kill me for what they saw as a betrayal. No one knew I was the Potter's Secret Keeper, except… Sirius! Of all people, I knew he would come after me. He was probably plotting for my head at that very moment!
Then it came to me, the perfect plan. Sirius had made it known that he was the Potter's Secret Keeper and before they switched to me, they informed no one of their plans. Even people who didn't know it had been Sirius surely would've thought it. All I had to do was work with that knowledge, and then I would be free!
Knowing Sirius would be looking for me by now, I calmly walked to the main square of Godric's Hollow, my plan already forming in my head.
I knew Peter could be anywhere, but the main square of Godric's Hollow was the closest, and easiest, place to start. I searched everywhere I could. Bakeries, Convenience Stores, everywhere I thought Peter was most likely to be.
Then I looked down alleys and side streets. At the sound of a rat scuttling, I would be there. Any noise, ordinary or otherwise, I was there. Finally, I gave up searching with my human form and became Padfoot,
Finally, I found him. Becoming human once again, I walked down the street to where he was standing, gazing at an old building.
"Peter, you rat!" I cried out. I was going to say more, but he cut me off, a look of anguish, that probably only I knew was fake, on his face.
"Sirius!" he faked a sob, " Lily and James, Sirius! How could you!" How dare he! How dare he accuse me of killing Lily and James! I had my wand raised before I even realized I had grabbed it.
But before I could jinx the lying worm, the street split open beneath my very feet. Speechless, I watched as Peter cut off his finger, transformed and jumped into the rubble and out of sight. And then the Ministry came.
I was stunned. I couldn't believe that I had sunk this low. A friend kills my best friends, and I get punished. It was just so ironic! And so, I laughed.
Ha! My plan had worked, but I now recognized a flaw in my thinking. I wasn't really free, I couldn't show my face to anyone again; I had to live the rest of my life as a rat.
Some months later, I had nearly given up. Wallowing in self-pity, and hardly surviving, I went up onto the street in a half-hearted search for food.
I never found food, but I found a boy. I soon learned his name was Percy Weasley.
"Oh look! A rat! You poor thing, you're all beat up!" and with that, the boy promptly scooped me up and took me home. I didn't struggle.
Ministry officials grabbed me, most likely expecting a struggle. I don't know if they were disappointed, or relieved. Maybe they were just confused.
I knew I was being sent into Azkaban, but even that knowledge couldn't stop my laughter. I laughed, and laughed, right up to the gates of my future prison. But then, the laughter died away, to be replaced by a deathly, haunting silence.
But the silence never lasts long. It is soon replaced by memories and thoughts that kill any happiness one might have. But I was determined.
Once again, the Daily Prophet brought nothing but bad news. At first I simply stared at the headline: Sirius Black Captured: Thirteen Dead. I cried as I read the article. Sirius had done it again.
He had taken twelve muggles for his selfish causes. But what affected me was the name of the wizard killed that day. Peter Pettigrew: Wormtail, the one friend I thought I had left. Taken because of Sirius. If he hadn't already been in Azkaban, I would've killed him.
But as my anger died down, I realized that I couldn't believe Sirius would do such a thing. Sirius: the master of all pranks, the genius of all things mischievous. Sirius: whose partner in crime was James, who howled to the moon all my pain, who was the most helpful person to be with during my monthly curse because he was a canine.
My mind told me he did it, but my heart told me something different. He couldn't have done it. It wasn't him. Not Sirius.
Whispers of what could have been. Of what I didn't allow to happen. Memories of hate coming from my own family.
You didn't Sirius. I know you didn't. But you must have. You're the one they caught. You're the one in Azkaban.
I could feel guilty. But why should I? After all, I'm not in Azkaban.
Fool…
Sirius…
I'm innocent, I didn't do it.
Ah, but you're here.
I DIDN'T DO IT!
