Chapter Two

In Which Miss Cerberus prepares for the Coming of the Students and their Activities of the Lusting Kind

Boom!

There was an incredibly large explosion outside the walls of OFAC. Two of the teachers, Lavos and Dalton, were at it again.

"So it begins…" Miss Cerberus muttered into her pillow. "I…need…coffee…"

She dragged herself out of bed, shoved her feet into black fuzzy slippers, and shuffled out to the entertainment section of the Staff Room. It doubled as a dining room. The rest of the teachers were already up, and looked nearly as worse as she did. Except Marle. Marle was always perfect. Her blonde hair was already combed and brushed, for crying out loud. Miss Cerberus's green hair was incredibly messy. Crono was practically asleep in his tea (yes, he drinks tea), and Lucca was asleep in hers. Robo was rather cheerful, though. But, of course, he's a robot. He doesn't need to sleep.

"Good morning, Miss Cerberus," he beeped. "Here is your coffee." He handed her a mug of coffee that was larger than her head.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you…" she said, and accepted the mug. It was drained in three seconds flat.

Magus was standing in a corner, as dark and mysterious as always. The poor, poor man. Due to his gorgeous blue hair, dark, mysterious ways, and incredible magic, fangirls have been after him for years.

"Good morning!" Oma-Ona called happily. She pulled on her fuzzy white bathrobe and shuffled into the room.

"Hello, Eskimo Joe," Miss Cerberus yawned. It was surprising that she still could yawn, for after drinking so much coffee most people's back teeth would be wiggling from the caffeine.

Oma-Ona Jonawitty Double-day (also known as 'Eskimo Joe' by some of the staff) was the Keeper of the Peace at OFAC. When activity of the lusting kind (or anything else, for that matter) happened, Oma-Ona was called to help deal with it. She also taught the class, 'Mythological Gods and Goddesses 101'. (It's categorized as DPCSIC, Decently Pointless Classes that are Still In the Curriculum.) Her long black hair with bright red highlights was slightly messy, but not nearly as bad as Cerberus's. Oma-Ona was going to be a student, but it was discovered that she had been sent an application form by mistake. Thus, she was offered a job, and accepted. Eskimo Joe was a transfigurer. She was going to be rather handy for when students try to sneak into the staff section. They wouldn't know what hit them. Literally.

"Hi…" Selima muttered sleepily. Selima was the therapist and nurse at OFAC. She yawned and shuffled out into the kitchen for something to eat, her black hair bobbing slightly as she walked. There seemed to be a plethora of black-haired staff. Hmmm. Then, yet another odd character emerged from her room. Her name was Miss Semp, and she was a fairy. Semp was also a teacher of DPCSIC. One of her classes was the extremely odd 'Raising Vaccae 101'.

"'Morning," she yawned and flitted into the kitchen, nearly colliding with Selima.

"Have you finished sorting the applications yet?" Eskimo Joe asked, far too brightly for around three in the morning.

"Er…" Miss Cerberus stammered. "Um, y..yeah…! So, did anyone turn the security system on…? Heh?" Assistant Head Mistresses do not stutter.

The rest of the conscious staff shot her questioning looks.

"A…a bit of it's done, I mean…" she said. There were more looks.

"OKAY! OKAY! I haven't started yet! Are you happy now?" she cried. "Gods, you're all vultures."

At that moment, Miss Cerberus was buried completely by a pile of application forms.

[A/N- I don't own Chrono Trigger, it belongs to Square. I don't even own the concept of a fanfiction university. It belongs to the most respected and beloved Miss Cam. I am not worthy to tie her shoes. I own nothing, but you do, yay (that's great), now you can't sue.]