Disclaimer: This is a humor-parody based fanfiction. I do not own the Lord of the Rings or any anime/video game characters in this fanfiction. Holly and Haru are owned by me. Ben, Jimmy and Steven are muses...scary muses...but none the less muses.

Chapter 33: Dane Cook says!

Back at Twilight Town-

The Dark Army had given up on Trebuchets and decided on using their latest creation.

The flaming battering ram. While Yoko lead the soldiers to the gate, Shippo was wandering aimlessly around town. And then Shippo saw something weird.

A funeral procession for Koga.

The gate was breached and in stormed thousands on 100ft giant native American Indians.

" What the hell?" everyone (cast and crew) said.

" Oh sorry, sorry!" Kato said, erasing the last part, " Too much Dane Cook. REDO THAT!"

" ACLOTR'S take 33. ACTION!" shouted Ben.

-In stormed giant shadow heartless that towered over the soldiers. None the less the battle raged on.

Meanwhile

So Mukuro stabbed Tsukasa and Tsukasa was now half way dead. But then in came Karou, who saved the day.

" I have something you want!" Karou said to Mukuro.

" And what would that be?" Mukuro asked.

Karou then took out her ace card. A plushie of Hiei. " Trade ya!" Karou said with a smile.

Mukuro reluctantly accepted the trace.

And miles away, two voice could be heard.

' DAMMIT KURAMA!'-Hiei shouted

' It was a good idea at the time'-Yoko said

FLASHBACK

" Oi Karou" Yoko said and handed her the Hiei plushie.

" What's this for?" Karou asked.

" You'll know when the time comes" Yoko said in a wise tone.

" And why do YOU have it?" Karou asked.

" Eh?" Yoko said with a sweatdrop, " The flashback will end now!"

END FLASHBACK

Just then Kato started to groan in pain and clutched her heart. " Dammit not again" she said and punched her chest a few times, " Ok...were cool!"

So Karou was about to go wake up Tsukasa when someone threw a Kenshin plushie out in the open.

" MINE!" Karou shouted and chased after the Kenshin plushie.

Some heartless walked in and saw the knocked out Tsukasa.

" Where's my Kenshin plushie?" the first heartless asked.

" Who cares let's take this guy" the second heartless said.

So the two heartless kidnapped Tsukasa.

Back at Twilight Town:

Shippo watched Koga be placed on a bed of oil drenched wood. Hiei was going to burn the poor wolf demon alive!

" I have to do something about this!" Shippo whispered to himself.

Hiei was beginning the eulogy when a giant pink ball poofed in front of the people.

" RAWR!" the giant pink ball roared and started to gnaw on Hiei's head, " Stop killing Koga!"

Yoko was busy fighting when he heard-

'DIE!'

'WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

Shippo was sent flying into the air and landed on top of Yoko.

" HIEISGONNABURNKOGAALIVE!" Shippo shouted

" Get off of me!" Yoko shouted.

Insert more brutal carnage here that Kato isn't used to writing...wait...where is Kato. Ben gave a sigh.

" Looks like I'm in charge...again.." Ben said but then grinned, " YAY CARNAGE!"

Ben went demonic and started to tear things down.

The with the morning came a giant pitcher of Kool-aid.

" Huh?" everyone (cast and crew) said confused.

" More Dane Cook"

With the morning light came reinforcements. The army led by Koenma (adult form), Yusuke and about 4,000 other people I don't have time to name.

Oh! Sango and Rini were there too!

" Oi! Your late!" Riku said.

So everyone rode into battle for glorious death. But you can't hear them scream death, only dayyy, because the sound system sucks!

Anyway Yoko and Shippo went to stop Hiei from burning Koga alive. Yusuke was having way to much fun beating up heartless.

Hiei was busy playing with matches...which isn't very smart kiddies.

" Don't play with matches" Yoko said.

Alas! Hiei was STILL playing with matches and lit himself on fire.

" WOAH!" Koga jumped up when he saw his 'father' light himself on fire. Koga jumped off the bed.

" So...your not dead?" Hiei asked while burning. Koga shook his head in the no possition.

" Oh..ok" Hiei said and ran off the ledge to commit suicide.

Squall (recently revived) walked onto the set, " I'm ready for a fight!"

But then Hiei landed on top of Squall. Although Hiei was saved from a bloody death, Squall was killed by impact of being struck by the flaming Hiei.

And then who should come by the reinforcements. The mercenaries. With their elephants and cool chants and brass sounding horns.

So the samurai thought they could take on the Mercenaries...yeah right they're riding giant elephants. Sango and Rini had an easy time fighting...Koenma wasn't going to be so lucky.

" I don't wanna be human again!" Yoko pleaded, " Oh never mind...Koenma's about to get his"

" Say what?" Koenma said.

Just then Akito merely bumped into Koenma, who fell over.

" Ow..that hurts!" Koenma said.

" Your supposed to be dead!" Akito whispered.

" Oh right" Koenma said and went with the (X.x) facial expression.

" AKITO!" Sango shouted and threw her large boomerang bone at Akito's dragon. The Dragon head was severed off .

" No my baby!" Akito shouted, " You'll pay"

Akito got off and charged at Sango. The two raged in a battle. But then Rini came and stabbed Akito in the back. Sango stabbed Akito in the head.

" Yes I get the best quote of the movie!" Sango said triumphantly, " I am no man!"

Akito died with a "Whaat" look on her face. Trust, us...were all a little perplexed with what Sango quoted.

" I'm still not dead" Koenma mumbled.