Title: Notes from a yearbook

Summary: Yuki decides to sign Shuichi's yearbook late in the night. What will he write? (Yuki's POV)

Warnings: Yaoi. Duh. I mean, what do you expect from a Gravitation fanfic? Sure as hell not sunshine and bunnies from me. I don't do sunshine and bunnies. Except Kumagoro. Poor pink bunny isn't going to be mentioned, I don't think, though. And language, mostly on Yuki's part, some on mine. ' I don't claim to be perfect, nor would I want to.

Series: Gravitation

Rating: Pg-13

Blood type: Hot Tamales new fire candy, vanilla sweet tea with way too much sugar and vanilla (just the way I like it… tea you can get drunk off of. ), and various other stuff (nothing illegal, I assure you).

Notes and commentary: I actually wrote this the same night that I wrote the first chapter. Yeah, I was high on inspiration. And my boyfriend didn't call, which he better have a good excuse for. I won't mind if he was sleeping. Lord knows he's not sleeping enough…. So here's my sleep deprivation for the night. And here I am with graduation practice and the senior breakfast in the morning. I'm such a lame person. But I am a lame person with a very loving cat perching his chin on my left arm. And it's nice to know I'm loved by someone. (Written 5-12-06. Updated 7-2-06)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. Wish I did, but I don't. I do own all 12 volumes of the manga, the novelization, and a copy of the OVA Lyrics of Love. And a Kumagoro plushie.


I couldn't sleep. I'll be perfectly honest with you. I hadn't slept in two days, I had the brat settled down enough to sleep by (because I am just that good in bed), and I couldn't sleep. Damn it… this was not good for me. So I decided that maybe a beer and a cigarette would help me. Of course, both called for a trip to the kitchen. Lucky, lucky me. Not.

I finally got into the kitchen and I didn't wake up the pink haired menace. Score for me. Yuki Eiri the cat burglar, that's me. Second job when I'm not a novelist. Even though I'm a novelist 24/7. Enough joking, though. I got my beer, grabbed my cigs, and sat down at the table. I had some business that maybe I could take care of now.

See, Shuichi wanted me to sign page one of his year book. Well, the whole damn page had been taken up by his friend Hiro, who thinks he's going to become a doctor. Who the hell is he trying to kid? It's not going to happen; he loves music and the brat too much to do that. So I get dibs on page two, which is actually more than I wanted anyway. That's part of what's been keeping me awake. What the hell am I going to write that takes up a whole damn page?

Maybe I could write my name really big on that page… no, I can see how that'd go over. The brat would start bawling and either say I don't love him or I spoil him and it was more than he hoped for, then glomp me. So either way I get glomped, and I'd rather not… So writing really big is out… maybe not.

I could write 'here's your damn signature, now pay up' on it, but that'd be mean. Meaner than I care to be, anyhow. After all, how many people find a person willing to stay with them no matter what they do? Even if they're a man. But damn, how many 23 year olds find themselves signing their 18 year old lover's yearbook? Not many, I'm sure. So what do I write?

Damn, you'd think being a romance novelist would help here! And instead it's slowing me down! All I have to do is write what I feel, and I can't do that because it's too damn flowery. He may want flowery, but I don't care to write it. Damn it all to hell, I'm going to bed! Maybe I'll wake the brat up and see if he's up for another go, that might tire me out…

Can't even get to the kitchen door! That yearbook is going to plague me until I figure out what to write! But I never have this much trouble with my novels. Of course, someone's usually dying in that for the true stuff to come out. And Shuichi, no matter how I say I wish it, is very much alive.

Which is, by the way, very good for me. I'm fond of the brat. He's wormed his way into my life, no matter how much I wish he hadn't. He's the only one who gets me out of my study, even if it's only to save him from killing himself trying to cook dinner, and that makes sure I get more nutrition than cigarettes and beer in me. Even when he crashed my laptop last week, he was doing me a favor. I had to rethink the last chapter of my novel, and I found a ton of plot holes in what I had planned. Readers will forgive many things, but a plot hole you could fly a jet through is an inerasable sin, and one that gets you consigned to the bargain bin. He isn't afraid to cry when he's sad, or laugh, or any of that, and he's incredibly faithful to me, almost like a dog. He wouldn't turn me over to Tohma, not even for a chance at the big boss hearing his demo.

Stupid, but gutsy, and endearing. And how angelic he looks asleep. I really do love how he looks when he's asleep. His face gets flushed more pink than his hair, if that's possible, and he gets warm and easy to hold. He isn't jumping all over the place, and I get to see what he's like when he isn't acting like a kid with ADD on speed and caffeine. And during the days…

During the days I can't wait for him to get home. I miss the noise, the confusion, the mess he creates, because that makes it seem like we're in our own world, one where no one who condemns or hates lives. One where I didn't kill him… one where New York never happened, where I was never hurt by one I thought I loved. The clothes on the floor create a landscape of their own, the pocky boxes are small buildings in themselves, and the wrinkles in the bed sheets are foothills to the mountains our bodies create. The apartment is our kingdom, and if we didn't have to go out for food and he didn't have to leave for school, I wouldn't ever want to leave, and I can tell he wouldn't either. I just wonder what his mother thinks… I know he's already rented his own apartment, he told me he had to move his stuff in the other day. I think he's supposedly living there now, but he really lives with me… I love it all… That's it! That's what I write!

'Shuichi,

I thought about writing my name huge, then about writing some really mean shit, but I thought better of it. Because, Shu-chan, you are my reason. I love every thing about you. The way you smile like some insane asylum escapee, the way you laugh like nothing goes wrong in the world, the looks you give me with those amethyst eyes, just your attitude. I love it all.

I love the way you mess up the apartment, promising to clean it up, and never get around to it. It would make the maid wonder, if I called in a maid. I always end up laughing when I clean it up… but only when you're not around. If I laughed while you were around, I'd never live it down, so I have to hide it from you. Even how much I love you.

When you told me you were actually getting to graduate, I was almost shocked at what Japan's schools have fallen to. Then I realized you've had a great friend to help you all the way through, and here I am insulting you and being a general ass just to seem macho and assert my dominance. I shouldn't, but it's a hard pattern to break. And still you stay with me, bear with me, stay patient through all I do. I love all of that. And I realized, I hadn't congratulated you.

So here it is now: congratulations. I don't really know if you want money or anything as a present, but I'll try to work something up. I'll think of something, you know I will. Maybe we'll go out to dinner some night. Save you from trying to cook. And save the apartment from a fire.

Whatever you choose to do, be it go on and try to get a record deal or whatever, I'm sure you'll do good. And if you ever have a bad day or something doesn't work out right, remember I'm here for you to help, if I can. And to comfort if I can't. I may not seem like the best listener or the best person to comfort you, but I can try like hell to. And I do listen. Otherwise I wouldn't know to get you strawberry pocky, now would I? Or to get anything else, since you seem to keep me stocked in junk food now, don't you?

Shuichi, I just want you to know that I love you, and I will always be here for you. If this sounds too sentimental, just know that I wrote it at midnight, and I was on sleep deprivation. Common torture tactic, and this yearbook is a master of it. You want normal, wait until tomorrow morning. I'll show you normal then. But tomorrow night, I'll have dinner cooked (barring novel work). And I'll try not to be such an ass.

Yuki Eiri

5-12-xx

(P.S.: Tell Hiro-kun that if he thinks he loves you, he's got nothing on me. And that his full page tactic has been surpassed, since I'm having to write so small to fit all this onto one page. Don't want to mess up your school's caretaker's signature. I make no promises, but maybe I'll be at graduation. You never know.)

There! It took forever and a day, but let's see him complain about that! Ugh… now I get sleepy. Time to go curl up with my brat… my Shu-chan. And sleep…

--

Ugh… morning… why's he squealing so early? Damn…it's too early for this… Huh? Why the hell is he cuddling that damn yearbook? Oh no….

'I love you too, thank you thank you thank you! It was sooooo sweet!' The hells? I can't believe this! Now he's cuddling me! Damn it!...

Well… maybe I can allow it this time…