Chapter 11

Of a Brief Interlude with Cerberus and Why Swords are Sharp

Cerberus was dithering. Her nerves were all over the place. She was currently in her office, pacing in front of a disorganized desk, wearing a few holes in the carpet, trying to sort out a problem she wasn't supposed to worry about.

"This cannot be happening…" she muttered. "We're a small continuum. We're not supposed to get problems like this…"
There was a knock at her door, and Semp fluttered in.

"Cerb…" she said, closing the door behind her with a gesture, "there's a problem."

"I know!"

"We don't know how many students have realized that they've got such powerful magic," Semp continued. "The Minis have been patrolling, and haven't seen anything unusual, but we're still preparing for a mob. If they decide to attack or something…"

"I know," Cerberus said wearily. "I know. Magus said he'd get to the bottom of it."

"And you trust him?"

"With my life."

Semp sighed. "But you're not going to leave it just to him, are you?"

"Of course not," the Assistant Head Mistress replied. "I'm just not sure what to do yet."

"Spies?"

"Magus found them."

"We've already got patrols, and the last surveillance equipment we put in there, well… er…" the fairy trailed off.

"I know. It went boom," Cerberus finished. "We've got to trust in these… spies Magus has gotten. He thinks they're reliable."

"He'd better be really damn sure they are," Semp said. She fluttered back towards the door, opened it, and was gone.

Cerberus sunk down into her comfy office chair, and put her head in her hands.

"I know…"

Meanwhile…

"Now, what Miss Racquel has just demonstrated was exactly how not to try to attack someone with a sword that is far too heavy," Crono explained, gesturing to the stunned and bruised form of Raquel on the ground. The aforementioned sword was currently half an inch away from her head, stuck about two feet into the soil.

Raquel was gibbering very slightly.

"Perhaps Miss Albshire would like an attempt?" Frog pulled the sword out of the ground. "I daresay another weapon would be more appropriate, however."

"Um… yeah…" Charlotte stepped forward.

"Choose thine own weapon, Miss Albshire," Frog prompted. He gestured towards a rack of swords, daggers, knives, and other pointy-bladed weaponry, behind which there was also a large stack of what looked like either staves or very large sticks.

There was a really awesome looking sword there, with a long blade and a hilt studded with emeralds. She picked it up, and realized that she could just about lift it with two hands and do absolutely nothing else. She put it back down.

The sword next to it was a rapier of some sort, with a plain guard and a long, very sharp blade. It wasn't very heavy, and Charlotte gave it a few experimental swipes through the air before deciding she actually kind of liked it. It was pretty.

"All right," Crono said, holding his katana at the ready. "Come on, now. Let's see if you can even use the thing."

Charlotte shrugged, and raised the rapier. After a moment, she charged, and thrust at Crono.

There was a clash, a moment of confusion, and Charlotte found herself on the ground with the rapier a few feet away, and the sharp edge of a katana at her throat.

"This is why," Crono was explaining to the rest of the class, "we don't charge at an opponent. I could easily tell what Miss Albshire was going to do, and thus was able to disarm her very quickly."

"Ow," Charlotte said softly from the ground.

"Not bad, though, for somebody's who's never used a sword before," he smiled rather charmingly, and helped her up.

"Now, try it again, but use some tact this time," he instructed. He didn't even have his katana at the ready.

"Um…right…" Charlotte muttered. She couldn't really be subtle with conversations let alone a piece of pointy metal. What exactly was she supposed to do, anyway? Try to strike up a conversation and then discreetly stab him in the side?

Good judgement told her to stop being silly and watch the bastard with the sword, moron.

It was at this most opportune moment that Charlotte realized Crono had taken the initiative, and was coming at her with a strike she most certainly had no idea how to parry. In a fit of instinctive reflexes, she dove to the side, avoiding the sword very narrowly. Unfortunately, she was also in no position to dodge his next attack, in which he was able to knock the rapier right out of her hand and put his blade against her throat.

"I'm not exactly sure what you were trying to do," he said, "but at least you've got part of the idea."

Charlotte brightened. "I did?"

"Yeah. Don't get hit."

"Oh."

Crono reached down to help her up again, and Charlotte's Inner Fangirl went mad. The inner dialogue went something like:

He's so cute he's so cute he's so cute he's so cute he's so cute! the fangirl raved.

Shut up, the sane portion of her said. If I try anything, Marle will kill me.

But he's so cute he's so cuteeee!

And Marle has pointy crossbow bolts and good aim. No.

But Marle's not here. You are. And he's so close… the fangirl wheedled, surprisingly coherent.

Um… the sane portion of her was running out of ideas. Crap.

"Um… Miss Albshire?"

Charlotte jolted out of her inner dialogue to realize she had been staring at him for the past few minutes, and immediately blushed very deeply, and got to her feet.

"Er… did you get hit on the head?" Crono asked her.

"I'm all right," she muttered, picking up the rapier and heading back to the crowd of students with acute embarrassment.

"Perhaps Miss Stefani is eager for the attempt?" Frog said with an amphibian smile that was… disturbing. Mirabella Stefani, had been talking animatedly to one of the other students, and immediately froze after hearing Frog.

"Um…" she glanced around nervously, definitely looking for an escape.

"Don't worry," Crono said, "You'll be the last victim- er, I mean, demonstration."

"How comforting," she grumbled, and snatched a spear off the rack, apparently not caring what weapon she got.

"I think thou will hurt thyself," Frog said to her, drawing the Masamune.

"Whatever," Mirabella replied, jumping from one foot to the other. She tried thrusting the thing at the amphibian, but he knocked the point down easily. Mirabella fell forwards, going with the heavy spear, and Frog brought the hilt of the Masamune down with a crunch on her hands. She shouted, dropped the spear, and apparently tried to stuff both busted hands in her mouth at the same time.

"I did warn thee," Frog said with a shrug.

Mirabella said something completely incoherent since her hands were still in her mouth, but it was probably better that no one could understand it.

"Well, despite all the fun we're having here," Crono said with a smile, "I think we should pair up and start a bit of real teaching."

"What the crap were you doing before, then!" someone from the back of the class cried.

"That," Crono replied, "was simply beating several kinds of crap out of all of you. Purely for demonstrative purposes, of course. …And to show you people that sword fighting is not simply waving about a bit of metal and hoping you don't put out an eye."

There was a moment of complete silence.

"Now, pair up, the lot of you," he said, waving his hands at them. The crowd gradually shuffled into pairs. Charlotte and Asamoya found themselves some room over to the left, and watched with much curiosity to see what else would happen.

"Right. One of you from each group come up and get a stick," Crono instructed, "and then we'll start with a few basic thrusts and parries."

Charlotte pushed her way through the crowd of students to grab two sticks, and then started back towards Asamoya. She just managed to catch the end of a conspiratorial whisper between two students as she passed.

"Hey… come down to classroom 3B later. Mel found something…"

Hmmmm… went Charlotte's brain. She tossed a stick to Asamoya as soon as she was close enough, and then hurriedly whispered what she had heard.

"…I think we should check it out," Asamoya replied.

"Right," Charlotte whispered back. "Do you really think it's anything important, though?"

"Who knows?" Asamoya shrugged. "Classroom 3B… I think that's the one that only sometimes is."

"Only is what?" Charlotte gave her a very strange look.

"I mean, it only exists at certain specific times," Asamoya replied in a whisper. "They probably just found something silly in it. Things come back with it after it disappears. Just bits and pieces, really."

Right in the middle of their conversation, there came two hard swipes to the back of the head with a stick. Both girls yelped and clutched their heads, and turned to face the large, aqueous eyes of Frog.

"'Twould do the two of thee a world of good to pay attention." It was amazing how much of a threat could be shoved into so few words by someone of a very amphibious persuasion.

The rest of the class was, as Crono had mentioned, about thrusts and parries. However, he hadn't counted on the sheer lack of hand-eye coordination present among his students. He was forced to end the lesson when Mirabella ended up the only person standing amid a group of very concussed and very unfortunate girls. Her stick was very quickly confiscated before she could inflict any more damage (but not before she thwacked Frog. Unfortunately for her, Masumune and Glene were watching the whole thing, and, simply put, thwacked her back much harder.)

With the lesson over, the bruised and bloodied students tossed their sticks back in a stack and shuffled zombie-like off towards wherever they happened to be going. Charlotte and Asamoya were among the last to drop off their sticks. Charlotte was poking rather dismally at one of her bruises (courtesy of Mirabella) when Crono tapped her on the shoulder.

"You know… this might help," he said pleasantly, and handed to her a small bottle of something tinted slightly blue. Asamoya peered over Charlotte's shoulder at it.

"Er… what is it?" she asked (Charlotte having gone into a lust object-induced trance).

"A tonic," Crono replied. "We all know how you two are helping us out, so I thought you might need some. Take care of yourselves, all right?" He turned, and left with an amiable wave goodbye.

"Well, that's certainly helpful," Asamoya said, and tried to take the tonic from Charlotte. It was a good deal harder than she expected, since Charlotte stubbornly would not let go of it.

"Oh, come on! You can keep the damn bottle, then!"

Charlotte gave Asamoya a slightly suspicious look and, her inner fangirl wailing, handed over the bottle.

"You damn silly fangirl," Asamoya grumbled, and drank some of the tonic. No sooner had she swallowed than she began to gag. The taste was absolutely awful.

"It tastes like gym socks," she sputtered. "Oh, god, please tell me I have some Altoids or something…" She began to dig through her pockets, and, to her dismay, did not find any breath mints.

"Oh, it can't be that bad," Charlotte said with an eyeroll. She took a swig of it as well, and nearly lost her lunch. "Gah… never mind, it is that bad…" She shoved the rest of the drink into her pocket for some other time.

"Let's get to the Great Hall, maybe we can grab some really strong coffee or something…"

The two girls closed their eyes and started running. By the time they opened them, they had appeared in front of the doors to the Hall, and surprised many an unsuspecting student.

Within a few minutes, the two girls were seated at a table, gulping down coffee scalding hot as though their lives depended on it. This was an overstatement, but not by very much.

"So where's this classroom, exactly?" Charlotte asked between gulps.

"Dunno."

Charlotte nodded. What did it matter, anyway? They would just use their little trick and take the easy way around. It was so nice and convenient- almost too nice and convenient.

Asamoya presently set down her mug (which was completely drained of coffee) and sighed rather happily.

"That is so much better."

Charlotte agreed. "I almost feel bad for making those guys drink so many of these."

"I know what you mean," Asamoya replied, standing and pushing in her chair. "I bet the rest of the stuff we've fed them in those games doesn't taste any better."

So saying, the two girls exited the Great Hall with considerably less comment than with which they had entered. They headed down the hallway in a random direction, discussing the properties of tonics and precisely why anyone would make a healing potion with a taste that could kill a dragon.

A/n- Well, that only took a very ridiculous amount of time to get up. - Sorry, guys. I recently got a new computer (!) and I've been transferring an obscenely large amount of junk onto it from the old one. I only got this onto it a few days ago, and, well…yeah. Look for more updates in the reasonably near future! Ciao.