Chapter 32

Kate was reclining in the sand, idly reading a book she'd found in his pack. He was still sleeping; he'd woken her near dawn, kissing and touching her insistently and they'd made love again as the sun rose. He'd fallen back to sleep, but Kate was awake, her body thrumming with adrenaline. She'd already gone into the jungle to get some fruit, going as quickly as possible; the more she dwelled on Eko's words the more worried she became for Sawyer. He was special? Why did she have to protect him? From what or who? She felt like she had to be constantly on guard, and she unconciously felt behind her back for the gun; she hadn't given it back to Sawyer.

The book was mildly interesting; it had caught her attention because of the white winged centaur on the front; anything to do with horses had always interested her, even if they weren't really horses. There was another book in there, too, The Third Policeman, but she didn't think she'd enjoy that as much.

"Whatcha reading, Freckles?" He was rolled up on his side, smiling at her.

She turned the front of the book over and read the title. "A Wrinkle in Time." She smiled at him, reaching out to push a strand of shaggy hair from his eyes. "It's pretty good."

He was staring into her eyes. "What's it about?"

She smiled at him, her hand sliding down gently to his cheek. "I have no idea."

He chuckled. "Well, it just so happens that I do." He reached over and gently pulled the book out of her hands, tossing it lightly aside. "Do you want me to tell you about it?"

She scooted over so that she stretched against him; his arms went around her, and she whispered, "Yes."

He chuckled again, in her ear. "It's about time travel." He breathed gently against her. "If you could go back, Freckles, time travel, where would you go? What would you change?" She stiffened and he was suddenly sorry he'd asked. He shook his head "Never mind."

She smiled against him, squeezing him a little, and laughing bitterly. "It's okay," she said. "I have a lot of places I would go. How about if I just choose an easy one. For now." She met his eyes, pleading. She would go back, sure, but would she change what she had done? She liked to think so, but then where would she be now? Who would she be now? Would she know Sawyer? Were they really destined to be together? Somehow she thought so, but she didn't really want to dwell on the possibilities.

"Okay, Kate. Let me hear the easy one." He wasn't inclined to push her today; she'd earned at least that from him. He wrapped one of his hands in her hair, kissing her forehead softly; she smiled and sighed.

"If I could go back and change any moment...the day, when you bribed me to kiss you. I'd change that."

He looked hurt, and she grinned to herself. Sometimes she couldn't resist needling him. "That was an easy one for you to change?"

"Yeah." She paused. "I wouldn't have stopped it." He chuckled and kissed her. "Now it's your turn. What would you go back and change?"

He looked thoughtful. "Well, I got a lot of 'em too. So how about I give you an easy one for now?" She rolled her eyes at him and he grinned. "Okay, I would change...the first time I saw you."

She looked at him questioningly. "After the crash? Why would you change that?"

Sighing, he smiled at her, shaking his head. "Nah, Freckles, I saw you long before the plane. I told you before I made a birthday wish about you."

She was staring at him, stunned. "When? How?"

He hesitated, then decided it was way too late to back out now. He kissed her, softly, then leaned back, his head resting on his hand, elbow in the sand. "It was about four years ago. I was working a con in some podunk town in Iowa." She glanced up at him, terror flashing in her eyes. He knew. "I was leavin' in a hurry, you know, but my damn car broke down. I had just scammed someone on fake farm deals for about a hundred grand; I decided to hop a bus to another state, Florida, buy a car there, meet up with some friends in Tampa." Realization was dawning on her and she paled a little. She knew what was coming. "I was waitin' for the bus, and I was feeling pretty miserable, I always did after a job," he smiled apologetically at her. "It's my birthday, too, and that makes me feel even worse, you know, so I am just sitting, feeling like the king shthead of the world and this girl comes in," he was gazing into her eyes, a look of wonder on his face. "And she was beautiful, I mean friggin' beautiful; she had on a Janis Joplin t-shirt, I remember because I was thinking how good it looked on her." She was still looking shocked and scared, but she smiled a little at that. Sawyer reached out and brushed a strand of hair from her face; he could see she was upset, and he was sorry he'd ever brought the subject up in the first place, but it was too late now. "So, I keep watching her, because I just can't take my fucking eyes off of her. She goes to the counter to buy her ticket, and this dorky guy comes up behind her and starts mouthing off. I really watched then, 'cause if Dork made a move to touch her I was gonna rip him a new one." Kate laughed a little at that; Sawyer smiled and continued. "Then, all of a sudden, she bolted, and he grabbed her arm. I jumped up, 'cause like I said, I was gonna rip him. Then she cold-cocked him in the stones and punched him in the face." Kate was looking down, feeling guilty; Sawyer cupped her chin and lifted her eyes to his. "Let me tell you, Freckles, I was impressed. Dork threw her up against the counter, whipping out handcuffs. Well, I couldn't jump in if it was involving the law, you know, what with my own history, so I just watched them drag her out." He stopped, leaning in close to her; she suddenly didn't care if he knew about her. He was gazing at her, and he whispered, "You caught my eyes as they took you by me. I made a birthday wish right then." He grinned at her, dimples flashing.

"So," she whispered back, leaning her head against his, "What did you wish for?"

His hands stole up under her tank top; she loved the feel of his rough hands. "I wished that one day I could be the one gettin' slugged by you." He chuckled. "Damn if it ain't come true twice." She laughed, and his hands slid higher, pushing her shirt up.

She stopped his hands, her face suddenly serious. "What would you change about it?" Her heart was still; she was almost scared to hear his answer.

He could see she was tense, he drew out the moment, teasing her just a little while he seemed to consider his answer. He sighed, finally, and hugged her close. "Well, Freckles, instead of watching them handcuff you and drag you away I'd slug that bastard in the face, grab you and head for the door."

Warmth spread throughout her body and she clung to him, trying to draw him even closer. "Then we both would be in jail." She shook her head against him. "I'm glad you didn't, Sawyer. There are some things that might have changed, but on the whole I'm glad we are where we are right now. I wouldn't change anything about that."

As she looked into his eyes he felt a wave of emotion so powerful it made him dizzy; his fingers dug into her skin and he leaned into her, kissing her with all of the feeling he could muster. "Me either."

-----

Eko had returned, telling them that Kate and Sawyer were fine and they would be back in the morning sometime. It was late, everyone was tired and the chance to sleep in a bed was too alluring to resist. Locke thought it might be a good idea to have a sentry posted just in case; everyone pulled a two hour shift so the others could sleep. In the morning, as soon as Kate and Sawyer came back they would be heading for the Shark Station; they could feel more and more pieces of the island's puzzle falling into place.

Ana took the first shift; she wanted to snag another beer while everyone was sleeping. She sat in the reference room, reading the paper that Locke had shown Jack earlier, The Effects of Tessering on Organic Lifeforms; the text was daunting, and her scientific knowledge was negligible, and after thirty minutes of slogging through it the only thing she had gotten from it was that 'tessering' could really mess you up. Whatever the hell tessering was.

Sighing, she set the paper down, rubbing her eyes. The second beer didn't taste as good; she hadn't eaten much and she was getting a headache.

"You got one of those for me?" She hadn't heard Jack come in. "Where did you find a beer?"

"There's a fridge in the kitchen. It was on, there was beer inside." She grinned up at him. "I did save you one."

"Uh-huh," he eyed her skeptically. "Sure you did. I just caught you before you could drink it."

She laughed, and unfolded from the chair she was in. She'd finally gotten around to washing her clothes in the sink so she was still in the shorts and t-shirt; Jack grinned, they really did look funny. She disappeared into the hall, returning a few minutes later with the last beer and a soda. She handed Jack the beer and she allowed his fingers to hold hers for just a second; that was all she could take. She pulled away, and curled back into the chair.

Jack held the beer for a second, gazing at it longingly. "How was it?" he asked, nodding towards her open one.

"It was the best damn beer I've ever had," she smiled. Jack chuckled, and popped the top, savoring the hiss of the carbonation.

He took a long sip, and sighing in satisfaction, he glanced at Ana, who was watching him with amusement. "You're right. This is the best beer ever." He smiled at her, and she lowered her eyes. "Don't think I was ignoring you today, Ana. I wasn't."

She looked up at him, grinning. "I know, Jack. It's okay."

He didn't know how to say what he wanted; his lack of speech frustrated him. "What happened today was great." He ducked his head, grinning a little. "More than great. Fantastic."

"Yeah," she agreed softly. "It was."

He hesitated; he felt a connection with Ana, he had since he met her. "I don't want us to be all about that," he said, slowly. "I think we can be more."

She nodded. "Maybe we can, Jack. But for right now why don't we just see where this takes us?" She touched his thigh, gently. "Don't look too far into the future. It never works out the way you imagine it."

He chuckled a little; that was a truth if he ever heard one. "Okay. Well, I just wanted to say goodnight, I need to sleep. We have a long walk ahead of us tomorrow, so you'd better get some too, as soon as you can." He drained the rest of the beer and tossed the can. "Thanks for the drink."

Ana smiled. "Well, now we're even." He hesitated, then bent and kissed her quickly; she smiled as he pulled away. "I'll be taking another shower in the morning," she offered, looking at him with raised eyebrows. "You know, if you feel a little dirty."

He laughed and shook his head. "Well, I guess we'll just see where it takes us, won't we?" He winked at her and disappeared into the hall.

Ana watched him go, staring at the door for a long while. Sighing, she popped the tab on the soda and turned her attention back to trying to make sense of the paper she was holding.