and now a few chapters of them finally being together, because after dragging it out for that long i really feel like we need some soft things and conversations :P
Chapter 14
The roar of the coffee grinder is loud enough to drown out a lot. When Roxanne turns and finds Megamind behind her, she jumps badly enough to scatter coffee grounds across the counter.
"Oh! Oh, crap. Can you get those? Just use a paper towel."
She bustles around him and sets up the coffeemaker to start it percolating. When she looks back around, the counter is clean and Megamind is holding a wadded-up paper towel in one blue hand, looking blank.
"Garbage can is under the sink."
"Ah," he says, and throws the grounds away.
Roxanne takes his hand when he straightens. She turns it over in her own, looking at his spindle-fingers and the fine tendons that move under his skin.
Megamind holds very still.
"You have such lovely hands," Roxanne tells him. "Seriously, I've always wanted a closer look at these."
He blinks, wrinkles his forehead. "My hands?"
She just nods.
"But the proportions are all wrong," he protests, pulling away. "They're—weird, too skinny, they're—"
Roxanne wrinkles her nose at him, amused. "I think they're pretty. Pianist hands." She grins. "You took your gloves off that time you had to pull Insomnia out of the Mayhem Machine and I just about had a heart attack."
He swallows. "Well," he says, "that's…good, I suppose. I can't change them."
Roxanne leans her hip against the counter and cocks her head at him. "I wouldn't expect you to," she says. "I really don't mind the alien stuff."
"You might," he warns, scowling as he turns to join her. "There's a lot of it."
Roxanne studies him for a long moment.
"Well," she finally says, "I can't wait to find out. I bet I'll surprise you." Her lips twitch. "Also, you haven't managed to scare me off with all the flamethrowers pointed at my head. You being an alien? So not an issue for me. I really don't understand why you're expecting me to be put off by just your physical differences."
His expression tightens and he scrubs a hand down the side of his face, rubs his eyes and the bridge of his nose. "It isn't just physical. I am odd. By human standards. Mentally as well, and not always in…attractive ways. And of course there is the physical aspect, which," he sighs again, "has certainly seemed insurmountable for just about everyone else."
Roxanne frowns. "Okay," she says. "I don't mean to doubt you, but. I'm having trouble imagining what the hell could be so…"
"I get slimy in the water," he says flatly. "I move wrong, if I'm not careful. I speak with other voices. My eyes do weird things if I'm excited or upset and I forget myself. I'm too familiar with people too quickly, I…seem to require more contact than humans. I am territorial. Defensive, possessive."
"Possessive?"
"Not of you, I—well, I don't think I will be. Just. My things need to stay where I put them, for example. They are mine, I put them there; they need to stay." He sighs, tense. "Getting humans to understand that has been—nearly impossible." He gives a sharp shrug. "I am weird, Roxanne."
"None of which sounds particularly terrible to me, Megamind," Roxanne returns. "I might need you to elaborate on that last part, but we'll get there. I do know you're not human, I'm not expecting you to be."
"And maybe that's enough," he sighs, sounding very tired. "I don't know."
"We'll find out," she tells him again, more firmly this time. "I want to see everything. I want to be…what, partners? Is partners okay? I do want to be dating, I'd like us to be partners."
He sort of lifts his head, blinking. "Partners?" he echoes. "Oh. Yes, I—I'd like that."
She smiles and takes his hand, squeezes it. "Good. That's. That's such a relief, god."
Behind them, the coffeemaker is doing its almost-done sputtering sound, so Roxanne gives him one more squeeze and then lets go of him so she can bring down a pair of mugs and the sugar.
"What are you expecting?" Megamind asks, behind her. "What do you…what are you looking for? I like partners but I don't actually know what that entails. I don't. Date."
"Yeah, I know. That's one of the reasons I was so freaked out about telling you." Roxanne scoots her sugar bowl over to him with his mug and sips contemplatively at her own coffee as Megamind starts sweetening his drink beyond comprehension. "Let's see. Open communication, we're...okay the Hanahaki wasn't great, but I'd still say we're off to a pretty good start since we're actually talking about this. I'd like to see you more often. Chat with you sometimes by text during the day."
"Ah," he says, dropping his gaze from where it had flicked up at see you more often. "I'll need a phone with a consistent number. And possibly some kind of primer on standard etiquette in text-based communications."
Roxanne snorts a laugh. "I'd actually avoid 'standard,'" she says. "Some people have unreasonable expectations about response times."
"What's your definition of unreasonable?"
"Any kind of strict deadline? If we're making plans, that's one thing, but otherwise...people have lives, sometimes it takes a while. And I know you," she adds, grinning at him. He blinks at her from underneath lowered brows, uncertain. "You get caught up in what you're doing and time loses all meaning. Holding you to an unnecessary deadline would be so unfair."
Megamind's confused expression clears and he nods. He's still stirring sugar into his coffee. "That. Makes sense. I hadn't realized you'd noticed that." He sighs again, a little. "Well, I'll...try. I really don't know how to be a good partner, Roxanne."
"I know that," she says. "I do. But...oh, do you remember how we were at Christmas?" She swallows, sidles towards him until she can brush him with her elbow and draw his attention. "It was quiet, and nothing was happening, and we were just…being, in the same space? We didn't even really talk much, we were just…together. That was nice, wasn't it?"
He nods.
"More of that," she tells him. "I want more of that. Being with you, just existing."
That gets a surprised-sounding laugh. "Existing with—me. Okay. Existing should be easy enough. I can. Let you exist. With me."
Roxanne beams at him and he does smile back, finally, wide and white. His eyes are still nervous but he really does look happy.
"Good," Roxanne says. "And I'll let you exist with me, too. And before you know it," she continues, heart fluttering when that makes Megamind's wide smile go wider still, and soft, "before you know it, you'll turn around and realize—we've been existing together for longer than you ever imagined. And it was easy."
"That sounds nice," he says, a wistful note in his voice. "I hope so."
He drops his gaze back to the sugarbowl and Roxanne peers into his mug. "So, do I need to worry about you developing alien diabetes five years from now, or do you have the metabolism of a ferret?"
He splutters a laugh. "Metabolism of a hummingbird, actually." The spoon clinks on the counter as he pauses and tries his coffee—
—then makes a face. "Blegh. What is this, dark-roasted Robusta?"
Roxanne laughs. "I like my coffee bitter," she admits. "It's a French roast, I don't know what Robusta means."
"It's a cultivar." He goes back to scooping sugar. "Most people drink Arabica. Robusta is more bitter, it has a higher concentration of chlorogenic acid in the beans." He glances up at her and cocks an eyebrow, a small smile finally lifting the corners of his mouth. "What else do you know about me that I haven't noticed, I wonder?"
He tries his coffee again. It finally appears to be acceptable, this time; he nods to himself and wraps his hands around the mug and lifts it to his mouth.
"I know you hate your legal name," Roxanne says, and he chokes and spits his coffee back into his mug.
"You—how did—who told you—"
"I don't know what it is," she assures him quickly. "I just know you hate it. And I think I know the name you'd actually use, if you weren't Megamind, but I also think I can't pronounce it. Muz—Maz—"
"Mzwamandla," he says, staring at her. "How the fuck did you find that one out?"
"A lady never tells," she says primly, and he wrinkles his face at her in consternation. "So, wait, if you could have any name you wanted, what would it be? On paper. Would it be that one? Would it be Megamind?"
He gives her a Look that says this isn't over, he wants to know her source on that. But he opens his mouth to reply—
—and then pauses, looking suddenly thoughtful.
"Well," he says, with pink spreading down his ears and over his cheeks, "I…hmm."
She cocks her head. "What?"
"My original plan was to change it to Mzwamandla Khumalo Walsh," he says slowly. "I haven't gotten around to it. But...hm."
Roxanne shakes her head. "Sorry, one more time? Muz—"
"Mzwamandla."
She repeats this carefully, then asks, "Is that your language? It's pretty."
He laughs. "No. I don't have a name in my language. And if I did, it wouldn't translate into Roman characters." He takes a deep breath. "Mzwamandla is the name my uncle Guduza gave me when I—turned—seven. ish. Sevenish? That's a long story. Anyway, I'm fine with that or Kid or Blue from my uncles, and Megamind for everything else. But for paperwork, officially…I think I would prefer that one."
She nods slowly. "You paused, though?"
His flush of pink deepens. "I just thought," he says, with a little smile that looks oddly shy, "I…could be persuaded to take the surname 'Ritchi.' Someday. If, if you wanted."
Roxanne stares at him.
After a moment, Megamind drops his gaze, shrugs sharply. "It doesn't matter, really. I—"
She puts her mug down so hard the contents slosh over the side as she surges forward and kisses him. He goes rigid with shock, his coffee braced between their chests like a shield—but in the next moment, his mug is skidding to a stop next to Roxanne's and he has both hands sunk into her hair and is kissing her back just as wildly.
And she can breathe. She can breathe. Interrupting her breathing patterns has been an almost certain Hanahaki attack trigger for months upon months now, but there's no pain or irritation or shortness of breath at all as she gasps between kisses. Only the cool softness of Megamind's lips under hers, the gentle strength of his hands, the hunger of his mouth.
And his flinching whine of pain when Roxanne unthinkingly moves to hold him around his chest and pull him closer. She jerks back, already apologizing. "Shit, sorry, your gills, sorry—"
"I'm okay! No, I'm okay. It's okay—"
"It's not," she says. "It's not okay, you're hurt—I forgot you're hurt and if I had just—remembered—or said something sooner! If I hadn't—"
Megamind finally gives into his impulse and does what he has wanted to do for so long: he wraps his arms around her waist and turns his head to tuck his face against her throat, moves to hide himself in Roxanne's arms. And she reciprocates! She falters a little but she doesn't push him away: she holds him around his shoulders, her arms heavy and warm, and presses her palms and fingers to him. It's been ages since anyone other than Minion held Megamind this way, and never as an adult. His uncles love him, he knows, but they aren't particularly huggy.
And she tips her head to rest her cheek on his skin. "I'm sorry," she says again, sounding genuinely upset.
"No. You didn't do this to me," Megamind tells her, muffled but firm. "I did. By not saying anything to you, either."
"They'll heal, right?" She traces her fingertips over his shoulder, rubs her human-warm palm down his back and up again. "Eventually?"
"As long as I'm careful."
"Be careful," she says immediately, with a note in her voice almost like pleading. "Please be careful. No heavy lifting, let them heal. And…really, I want to help; is there anything I can do for them? Anything?"
Megamind is quiet for a long moment, considering this.
Everything is new. The world feels brand-new, rotating on a wholly different axis than he ever expected it could. Roxanne helping with his gills…the idea sends a thrill through him, partly of want and partly of fear. But. It would be a step toward existing together, wouldn't it? And she's shown nothing but concern about them so far.
He swallows and steps back.
"There is," he says, a little subdued. "Yes. Would you…like to learn now? Did you have plans this evening?"
"No plans," Roxanne says immediately, eyes lighting. "Yes, I'd love to learn."
He takes a breath and nods, smiles.
Roxanne hunches over her phone in the invisible car with her brow rumpled in concentration, mind racing and heart pounding. She thinks, on some level—I should be talking with Megamind—but she has more pressing matters to attend to.
"More like teleosts? Or—no, sorry, you said no operculum—"
Megamind glances over at her. "More like sharks," he says quietly. "Septal, not opercular."
Roxanne nods.
"Sorry," she says a while later. "Sorry, it's just. Been ages since my last biology class and I'm really, um. Rusty. And we didn't really cover fish. Or not, not fish, but—you know what I mean. Sorry."
"Don't apologize," he tells her, still quiet. "Lord, no, Miss—Roxanne. Don't apologize."
A while after that, she mumbles, "What am I reading, I don't need the details of actual gas exchange; I just need to know how to maintain…just…equilibrium in the endoderm, the epithelium coating the…the lamillae, protect the pillar cells, the…this isn't what I need, dammit…" She trails off.
"...How many do you have?"
"Four on either side."
"Where does the water come in?"
"I have spiracles. Holes in my shoulders."
She nods shortly and goes quiet.
Amused and a bit nervous, Megamind asks, "What are you doing?"
"I just want to know what to expect," Roxanne sighs, lowering her phone and looking over at him with an apology in her voice that he still can't quite understand. "I just…diagrams? I know nothing will be a perfect representation, you're not from Earth, but I really don't want to accidentally hurt you with whatever we're doing! I'm beyond honored that you're trusting me with it." She shakes her head. "Megamind, I have wanted to know more about you for so long. And now I get to try and help? With what I do know? And learn more?" She reaches over and rests her hand over his on the gear shift. "Thank you," she tells him, sounding so sincere that Megamind's heart flips over and a lump crawls into his throat. "For letting me."
"You know more about me than any adult human alive," he says. "I want…"
She cocks her head at him.
I want to be known. Want to be safe. Want to close my eyes and know I will open them to someone who loves me. I do want to trust. I want to exist with someone who is happy I exist.
He swallows. "I want a partner," he says. "Like you said. I want...Roxanne, you already know more of me than anyone. I...would like to give you the rest. Someday."
Her hand tightens on his and she turns it so their fingers are intertwined. "I'm not in any rush," she tells him. "We have time. Take your time. I—love you. I'm just. I want—anything you can give, whatever it is, whenever. I'm just happy to be here. With you."
"Inconceivable," he says, but he's smiling. "Absolutely mad."
"I get to hold you," she half-sings. "I get to love you. And do you know what the best part is?" When he shakes his head, she exclaims, "I get to sit up front in the invisible car!" Megamind bursts into startled laughter and Roxanne beams at him in the dark. "This is amazing, seriously," she tells him. "You might not be able to conceive of it, but I sure can. We better be getting close, I want to kiss you again—"
"Oh look, a red light," he says, slamming on the brakes for a newborn yellow and reaching for her. Roxanne cackles and leans into him, laughing into his mouth and then gasping when he darts his tongue at her lips.
She returns the kiss with as much heat as she can, scraping her teeth over his lip and trying to pour all of the longing she's felt over the course of the past year into it. All of the fear and the joy and the hopeless love and—everything, all of it, all her heart. When she finally breaks away to breathe, Megamind's cheeks are wet again and she's panting.
He tips forward and steals another swift kiss and finally turns back to the road, wiping his eyes on his hand.
They're both quiet for a while, but finally Megamind glances over at Roxanne. He has fantastic night vision; he can see how red her ears are again. "Penny for your thoughts."
"Hm? Oh." She gives an embarrassed-sounding laugh. "You don't want to know."
"I do," he says. "I—why? Is it bad?"
"No, just…" She hesitates, then blurts, "I was thinking…if you fuck like you kiss, my productivity at work is about to go way, way down."
Megamind swerves so hard he nearly jumps the curb. "What? If I—"
"Look, you asked what I was thinking, and I told you."
"That's an option?" He stares out the windshield with big eyes. A whole new world of wildest-dream possibilities has just opened up as having actual potential. "You want—you want to—"
"Eventually, yes, if you do." Roxanne hesitates again, but she seems determined to just go the extra mile on anything she can, tonight, because she leans over and kisses his shoulder. "We'll get there in our own time. I'm good with just kissing, too. Especially," she adds, "while your gills are still healing."
His jaw drops. "They're going to take weeks to fully heal!"
"That's fine." She smiles at him in the dark. "I'll be here. We have time."
"We had sure better," he says, fervent, and she snorts.
Her phone buzzes and she glances down.
what's happening w kissing his gills & why are you in the invisible car
She rolls her eyes. either listen to the whole convo or mind your business
HE IS my business :P and i got pulled away on something. you ok? need an extraction?
he's MY business now :D 3
why?
WAIT WHAT SERIOUSLY
:D :D :D :D :D
IS THAT WHY YOU DIDN'T WANNA TELL ME WHO IT WAS
if you extract me i will bite you SO HARD
and break all my teeth, probably
cool cool cool cool cool well that explains why he came for my ass on monday. ok well uh
scandal ahoy i guess
congrats? be safe?
use protection?
oh & have fun!
"Please tell me Evil Lair is soundproof," Roxanne says.
Megamind snorts. "Ah. Is that your flying chin? Tell him to butt the hell out, you're my problem now."
"Already done. Soundproof?"
"I have an irregular dampening field around the whole area. It doesn't create a dead zone, silence would be obvious, but he can't hear us, if that's what you mean. Actually—" Megamind stretches out a hand and pokes a button on the dashboard, one of many. "There. Same with the Invisible Car."
She squints at him. "Why wasn't that on to begin with?"
He shrugs. "I'm not usually talking to anyone while I'm in here, and the engine is designed to sound normal. Dead space, again. If you hide too hard, you arouse suspicion, you know that."
There's a pause. It drags out for just long enough that Megamind starts to think maybe there's something he's meant to be saying right now, something more to discuss that requires immediate attention, and maybe Roxanne is waiting for him to bring it up? Only he doesn't know what it is. He never knows, with humans. Somehow everything he does is the wrong thing, and he only sometimes knows why and that's always after the fact.
And Roxanne fell in love with you anyway, he tells himself. And, not but. So stop. Enjoy this. Please just enjoy this for one measley—
"I love you," Roxanne blurts. "I love you I love you I love you oh my god that feels so good to finally say." She looks over at him, grinning like she's embarrassed again but forging ahead anyway. "Please tell me you're not one of those people who thinks saying it too often devalues it. I don't think I can stop."
"People think that?" He recoils. "Wh—no. No, definitely not, I do not think too often can possibly be a concern."
Roxanne grins. "Noted."
Then she scoots down in her seat, sliding her feet out of her snow boots and cautiously resting them on the dashboard. Megamind glances over but doesn't tell her to stop. In fact something about the way she's sitting makes his lips twitch into a smile.
"Also," Roxanne says, "you are super hot, and I'm very happy to be able to say that, now."
"Wonders never cease," he murmurs.
"You are flexible and graceful and fearless," she says, "and I like your eyes and I like your little beard—"
"It is a goatee, thank you."
"—and I like your cheekbones and your long neck and your hands, I like how you move. I like when you laugh! You have such a good evil laugh, Megamind. Your breath support is phenomenal."
He smiles over at her. She can't tell in the dark of the car, but she thinks maybe he's blushing. "I…like your freckles. And your hair. It looks. Soft."
Affection rises in her like little bubbles. He sounded shy, aw. "It is soft! Do you want to touch it?" He must not have been thinking about texture while he was kissing her before; that's...oddly flattering.
"If I touch it right now, I will send us careening off the road," he says, gripping the wheel. "My heart won't be able to take it. Also I would like to wait until I am not wearing gloves! Tell me again?"
She laughs. "I love you."
The smile he sends out the windshield is impossibly goofy. "I love you, too," he tells her, finally finally finally. "I love you, too."
