Tales From the Loony Bin

Disclaimer: ... NO. MATT AND TREY'S. NOT HAILEY'S. D8

Rating: PG-13 or T

A/N: Tutor is on hiatus. Sorry. But anyway, whutevah. I do whut I WAUNT. And keep the reviews coming. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. -faints-

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Chapter Three - Free Period and Group

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I'm in my room again, now. I got out of the library pretty early. Everyone else is out somewhere, like the people with weight and food issues are outside getting exercise. Since I'm back early, I just kind of get to sit here for a bit until group.

I stare up at the clock. 11:41. I think Darren's at anger management, and I can understand why. A month or two ago, when I was still kind of new here, he punched me in the face for something. My mom found out a few days later and argued that Darren was 'unstable' and shouldn't be around other teens. Then his parents found out, and Ocean View suggested that he be sent to the North Wing.

That's where the really crazy people go.

And then when his parents found out about the North Wing, they got pissed. They said he was perfectly normal.

Well, if he were normal, he wouldn't be in a fucking loony bin, now would he?

They eventually dropped it altogether and left us as roomates. I didn't really care; sure, I had a black eye for a few days, but I could get over it.

I look at the clock again; 11:52.

There are some guests with food and weight issues. We're called guests here, by the way, which I don't get. If we were guests, it'd be like a hotel. Stay for a night or two, then pay in the morning and go.

But anyway, there are these three anorexic girls, Cara, Millie, and Stephanie, and there's a really, really fat guy named Wallace or something.

Then there are drug abuse guests. There's Darren, whom I've already talked about, and there's Shawn, this short kid with a really annoying screamy voice. And Melinda, who I sit with at lunch sometimes.

Then the rest of us are just assorted psychos. Cutters. There's me, Mark, and Natalie.

Finally, there's a knock at the door.

"Tweek? It's time for free period. Everyone else is already in the library." Stella's muffled voice says. I lift myself off of the bed and to my feet. I open the door and she's there, putting on a fake smile.

"Alright, let's go. Family night is tomorrow night, you know."

Shit.

"I'll bet you'll be glad to see your parents again, huh?" She says as we walk down the long corridor.

"Uh, yeah. How long i-is it this time?"

"I think an hour or so.. All of the guests will gather at the main lobby."

"Oh.." I say as we near the library. I open the door and step in as it slams behind me.

I really don't want to talk to my parents again. I don't want to know how long I'm going to be here, because I know they're going to tell me. Then they'll ask me how things are, which is a dumb question.

If you were in a loony bin and someone asked you how you were doing.. What would you say? 'Oh, it's great. I think I only have like two years left. We got to eat with plastic knives yesterday! Knives! ..And my roomate punched me in the face last week..'

You get the point.

I browse the shelves of books. We don't get to check out the books, because cutters have tried to cut themselves with the paper before. Papercuts. It's easier to do then you'd think.

I'm glad it's summer, because during school years, we have to pick up any work or homework from the front desk. I hate it because half the stuff I haven't gotten to go over, and I don't have anyone to ask questions. Or any teachers, obviously, so I can't ask 'Could you explain that again?'

But I usually get just mediocre grades, anyway. It's not a huge change.

Most of the books here are motivational. Books like 'How To Get Over Depression'. Or 'Sewing For Self-Motivation'. Some of them are worth the read, though. But 'Stop Cutting Through Meditation' was bullshit.

My eyes scan the room. Cara, Millie, and Stephanie are sitting at one table talking and giggling about something. Wallace, Darren, and Matt are at another table, whispering. The wooden chair looks like it's going to snap under Wallace's tremendous weight. I turn away to the bookcase, tyring not to laugh. Out of the corner of my eye I see him turn around and scowl in my direction, so I bury my face in the book.

Natalie and Shawn are at a table in the corner. Natalie's flipping through an encyclopedia and Shawn's biting his nails nervously. I sit across from them.

"Hi," I whisper, smiling weakly. Natalie returns the smile and Shawn just averts his gaze again, chomping the skin around his nails.

"Hey. How are things?" She says, looking back down at the encyclopedia. I shrug.

"Okay, I guess. Family night's tonight."

"Augh. Dammit." She runs a hand though her short black hair.

"I know. I'm looking forward to it about as much as you are."

"I wonder how much longer we have here, you know.."

I check the clock. "Uh, f-forty five minutes--" I begin, then she shakes her head.

"No, I mean how much longer we have to stay here at Ocean View. We've been here like half a freakin' year now." She turns the page in the book, propping her elbow on the table. She lazily rests her chin in her hand, yawning.

"Oh. Our parents should know.. I just don't wanna find out."

"Neither do I. I think maybe another half a year I can deal with. I haven't cut recently, and I talk during group.. You'd think they'd release me for good behavior or something. Like a prison."

I don't have many friends here. I talk to Matt sometimes, but I only see him at breakfast and lunch. He's okay. I talk to Melinda, but it isn't like I enjoy talking to her. Usually she's really annoying, acting like she's the best damn thing in the world. You're in a crazy house. Get over yourself.

Then there's Natalie, who I see at lunch, free period, and I sit by her in Group. Did I explain group? I don't think I did.

It's where everyone, er, all the 'guests' gather in the lobby. There's this one psychiatrist girl, Leah, who's referred to as the group leader. We all get to discuss things that happened in the day. Not that any of us want to. There are some guests that speak up during like the first ten minutes, then Leah just picks random people to talk about things. Like, if it was their birthday or something, they can talk about that. It's really annoying, though.

She notices all body language, too. Like if you lean back in your seat, she knows that you don't want to talk. If you lean forward, you want to. If you twiddle your thumbs or bite your nails, you're nervous, but you want to. If you have long hair and you start messing with it, then you're bored. It pisses me off because she can be looking at one person, like she's going to ask them something. Then she starts talking to someone else. She sees everything.

I notice that it's already 12:57. The door to the library opens with a clank and everyone takes notice as April stomps in. She clears her throat and makes her way to the middle of the room.

"Everyone report to the lobby immediately! Group starts in three minutes!" She practically screams and I jump. Natalie laughs a little, putting the encyclopedia on a shelf and following me out the door and all the way to the lobby.

We all sit in seats according to our problems. Like, all the weight issue guests sit together in a group. To the left of them, right next to Leah, are the drug abuse guests. And beside them are cutters. People like me and Natalie.

I sit down in a wooden chair between Mark and Shawn, who keeps fucking twitching and squeaking. At first I think it's the chair, but then I figure out it's him. He keeps ramming into my shoulder, too, which is annoying as hell. I know he can't help it, but you'd think that maybe he'd scoot over just a little.

After some chatter, Leah finally steps into the room, in a long flowy black skirt and a blue button-up blouse. I don't really like her. Her shoes swish across the carpet as everyone shuts up and sits up straight; even Shawn tries to keep still. She sits in a wooden chair, her usual spot. She flips her long, auburn hair over her shoulders and smiles, eyes scanning the circle.

"It's good to see that you're all here early today.." She pauses momentarily to clear her throat. "Family night is tonight.. Any expectations? Any thoughts about how it might go?" She looks over the circle again. I lean back and stare at the carpet, hoping I don't get picked.

"Any volunteers?" She says. There's alot of nervous fidgeting in repsonse. Finally Melinda huffs.

"Fine, fine, I'll talk." she says, as if we were begging her to speak. "I don't think we should expect anything, really. You know, then you're not dissapointed or anything." Her eyes move to her feet. "I'm looking forward to seeing my family, though.. I miss them alot. I want to talk to my mom and dad and little sister again.. I can't wait to get out of here."

Cara speaks up. "..Neither can I.. Oh, sorry for calling you a bitch this morning."

"Don't swear, Cara," Leah says firmly, annoyed.

"It's okay. We all have to get along here, right? It's no use fighting if we're forced to be together like this." Melinda replies, voice suddenly weak. Then I notice her eyes are watery. A tear drops to the carpet.

"So, would anyone else like to share any comments?" Leah says after Melinda wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Natalie nods, leaning forward.

"I agree with Melinda about getting along. But I'm not looking forward to family night. I don't want to know how much longer I have here. It's not that I like being here or anything, it's just that I'm afraid.."

"Afraid of what?" Shawn says shakily, as his entire body twitches and shakes violently.

"The answer. You know, how much longer I've got. It might be like a few weeks and that's great.. But what if things have gotten worse and I don't know it? I haven't cut since before I came here.. And hell, that's an improvement right there. I've gained confidence, friendships.. I actually feel kind of sane now. But you never know.. I'm afraid." She concluded, so quiet that it's almost in a whisper.

It seems that when you come here, you get weaker. You could be tough and have a huge ego, but therapy is going to tear you apart.

"If there are no other comments, you are all excused for lunch." Leah gets up from the rocking chair. Stella enters the lobby from the hallway. She escorts everyone to the cafeteria

I get up wordlessly, not knowing what to think about later or the group session.

Therapy tore me apart.

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So sorry this took so long.. If I said I was busy, I'd be lying. I was just.. not motivated to write.

-H.