A/N: I'm back from my vacation and bring to you the latest chapter! Enjoy! (I also thought today was Monday xD, my bad...)

Replies to the latest reviews:

Sugar: Thanks! I hope you'll enjoy the rest of it :)!

RobLebron: Yeah, Brittney deserves more character development, so I'm giving her some! Trust me, Zora's much smarter than Marco, but she's also a child. Hehe, Marco will be positively surprised, that's for sure ;)

RedHood001: It's the assassin from Chapter 2. And yeah, Brittney could have been so much more, but they abandoned her :/...

Rock Raider: To be honest, we don't even know what the case is since Brittney's character development is about as deep as the shallow end of the pool. And no, time does not pass differently, read closely, they only use different terms for time. Honestly, this is the part I kept staring at for an hour and shifting between those two exact variations, but decided to keep the former one for whatever reason. You can give me suggestions, either through a PM or a review; I always love getting new ideas to implement!

Starshine89: Thanks, and no thanks xD. I ain't touching a language that has no gender determiner xDD

Bedrock Armor: Well, that wasn't helpful, at all xD

hunterdavid371: I didn't mean that in a racist way, if that's how it turned out; I just saw a few authors use it, so I also implemented it. Anyway, if you're looking for a good fic, 'Nothing Comes Easy' by Axis26 is the one that got me into this fandom, but I'm very honored that you praised my story to such an extent!

Disclaimer: All characters from Star vs. The Forces of Evil belong to the creators of the show. The plot of this story and any original characters that may appear in it, however, do belong to me and I would kindly ask you to inform me should you want to use anything from this story in your own fanfic.

Beta read by ElleFreak.

Story cover by Luzz015. Be sure to check her out on DeviantArt!


Star vs. The Forces of Evil: Staring it up!

Chapter 7

The Royal Wimps

Part 1 (B)

Six... friggin... hours... Marco mulled those three words over and over in his head, feeling like he'd snap if this part of his trial lasted much longer. River and Moon were testing both his patience and perseverance by making him sit completely still on River's throne. A good ruler must have a honed sense of patience, apparently, even if it killed and stiffened his back.

Marco sighed wearily.

This sucked.

This legitimately sucked.

He kept staring at the door across the throne room, praying that it would open and someone would bring salvation to his aching back, otherwise he would have to go seek treatment from a chiropractor as if he were some hunched over 90-year-old grandpa!

His patience was dwindling, he could feel himself slightly losing his calm with each passing second. The only thing keeping him from jumping out of that damned chair and crying that he'd had enough of this rubbish was the thought of potentially being forced to forever part ways with Star. Unofficial marriage or not, the people of Mewni had the power to force River and Moon to call off the whole deal. Without the people's support, the ruling dynasty of a kingdom was doomed, thence Marco's assurance that failure would result in nothing but bad outcomes.

There were 2 probable outcomes, should he fail or refuse to accept the trial; Either Moon and River would bend before their people and denounce him from his title as the future crown prince of Mewni, or they would refuse to do so, which would undoubtedly spark a flame of outrage and perhaps a wave of rebellion against them.

So, in short, he really shouldn't budge from this blasted chair.

Marco sighed, sick and tired of this ordeal, and murmured to himself, "They could have at least left me with someone to talk to..."

"Rude..."

Marco had no idea how he'd ended up on the floor. Did he jump reactively? Yeah, that was probably it, he thought. Either way, it didn't really matter. What did matter, or rather who, was the owner of the girlish voice, sitting in Moon's throne, snickering at him while supporting her head with her right hand, the elbow of which was situated on the throne's right arm.

"Janna!?"

"Hi," replied the girl cooly and smirked at him. She mulled something over, looking at the chair oddly, and said, "Wow. This thing is the opposite of comfy. You must be pretty persistent to have sat here for almost 6 hours."

Wordlessly, Marco stood up from the ground and stomped over to her, glaring daggers.

"Janna!?" he hissed, his words hushed, unable to reach the ears of the guardsmen posted outside of the throne room.

"That is indeed my name, last I checked," she said, smirking teasingly at him.

Marco grabbed her by the shoulders, startling her, and forced her upright.

"Janna, what the heck are you doing here!?" Marco whispered angrily at her.

"You asked for someone to talk to, didn't you?" she replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Arms crossed, she added, "You seriously suck at being thankful, dude..."

Marco turned his head from left to right rapidly, surveying the room. Nobody was around to hear their conversation, but they had to keep their voices low to prevent the guards posted outside to catch wind of anything. Who knows what trouble they'd both get in if someone burst through the door at this very moment and found him standing upright and talking to what was essentially an intruder.

"How did you even get here?" Marco asked, angry, but curious.

"Here as in the throne room, or here as in Mewni?"

"Both!"

"I was over at your house when River came to pick you up, so I snuck through the portal before it fully closed, then I bribed one of the guards with a strip of bubble gum to let me in and keep quiet about it," Janna explained proudly and stood up from the uncomfortable chair.

"Bubble gum!?" Marco cried silently with wide eyes. Janna nodded proudly as she rubbed her stiff back with one hand.

"Yeah. I'll tell ya, these guys are easier to bribe than government officials..."

"Can we stop with the political jokes already?" urged Marco, and added, "Anyway, Janna, you're not supposed to be here! Go back to Earth before someone finds you!"

Janna looked at Marco dully and blinked twice.

"Ok," she said. "Let me just grab my pair of dimensional scissors and - Oh, wait, I don't have any!"

Marco groaned angrily. While she did have a point, she didn't have to be a hussy over it. Marco beckoned her to step aside and returned to his position in the throne. Looking at her with displeased eyes, he said, "Why did you follow me here? Star's relying on me to do good and your presence could screw everything up!"

"Relax, dude," said Janna with a cool smile as she leant with her back against the side of the huge throne. "I'm not here to mess anything up. I'm here to help you!"

"Help me?"

"Yes, help you," Janna assured him. "I know how important this whole thing is and that failure is not an option, so I'm gonna give you and hand and help you pass whatever tests they got in store for you."

"You want to help me cheat my way through the trial!?"

Marco stared at the mischief-maker with wide eyes. He didn't like the sound of that, not one bit. It was Janna's essentiality to take shortcuts wherever she could, or make her own if none were available, but he wasn't going to risk getting caught doing such a fraudulent act; He'd probably be evicted from Mewni, for good!

"Cheating is such a heavy word. I prefer to use the term 'take the easier route'," Janna said, and walked over to him, stopping just a foot before the throne. "So, are you in, or are you in?"

"I am definitely not in!" Marco proclaimed with his arms crossed defiantly and his expression exhibiting his displeasure with Janna's scheme. "Star and her parents are counting on me to take this seriously and prove myself worthy through fair means. I don't plan on letting them down, especially Star."

Janna rolled her eyes at him.

"Alright, lover boy, have it your way." Marco frowned and strained to remain sitting in his chair. At that moment, the door on the other end of the hall opened and Marco shot a frantic glance at Janna, but the girl had already disappeared from sight.

"Marco Diaz," a voice called from the other end of the open door. It was a man, probably one of the Buttrefly's servants. "The King and Queen request your presence outside. Don't dally."

"Uh, coming!" Marco cried loudly and stood up from his seat, then began making his way towards the massive open door.

Where's Janna? he wondered. She was nowhere to be seen, like she'd disappeared into thin air. He knew she was good at hiding and avoiding people, given that she did it on a regular basis to skip classes, but to lose track of her so easily and at a moment's notice was absurd.

Still, Marco had no time to worry about it. He had somewhere to be, and Janna would find her way around the castle, so her location was the least of his concerns.

... provided she wouldn't cause any trouble of mischief. Marco narrowed his eyes in suspicion; She'd given up on persuading him surprisingly fast. Almost too fast.

She was up to something...


"Hello, Marco!" River cheerfully exclaimed as he spotted the boy walking towards him. Both he and Moon were standing next to the same carriage that had taken him to Mewni earlier that day. He, therefore, suspected that the location of his trial would be held elsewhere, maybe at several locations, even. The nobles and commoners that had greeted him upon his arrival were nowhere to be seen. They were likely already awaiting him at the point of his destination.

Marco bowed his head before the two, and Moon motioned with her hand towards the carriage, which the three promptly boarded.

After a few hundred manslengths spend driving in silence, Marco spoke up.

"So, did I pass the first test?" he asked.

Moon and River exchanged perplexed looks.

"First test?" Riven questioned, peering curiously at Marco.

"Yeah. You know, the test of patience that involved me sitting on your throne for 6 hours straight?"

"Oh, ha-ha!" River laughed cheerfully, then smiled at Marco and patted him on the shoulder. "That wasn't a test! I just needed someone to keep my throne warm. Can't have my buttocks freeze once I sit down, now, can I?"

Marco's mouth was agape.

"But you told me not to move!" he exclaimed as he glared at the small King.

"Yes, we did." River nodded, then continued, "But we weren't forbidding you from moving because we were testing you."

"Then why!?" Marco yelled and waved his arms through the air, demanding an answer.

"Becuase," River replied, "Moments before your arrival, a few of our guards claimed to have spotted some figure lurking around the halls. They didn't get a closer look at it, but one of the guards claims she was wearing some strange olive-colored hat. Most troublesome..." River finished with a slow shake of his head.

Marco looked through the glass window of the carriage and saw one of the accompanying guardsmen blow a pink bubble with his mouth and pop it before anyone could notice. Bubble gum, no doubt.

Note to self: Fire that guy once I have the jurisdiction to.

Marco showed the thought into the back of his mind and looked up at Queen Moon.

"Then why did you specifically order me to sit down for a good 2-3 hours -which ended up being 6 hours- and told me how to sit properly?"

"Hmm? Oh, goodness, no!" Moon laughed and waved the accusation off. "I wasn't commanding you! I was merely giving you some general advice on how a King should sit, and informing you that the preparations may take awhile." Moon rubbed her chin awkwardly, "Perhaps my phrasing was a bit off..."

"You think?" Marco asked with a mixture of sarcasm and dullness, then sighed and put on a tiny, but awkward smile. "Anyway, is everything finally ready? I don't feel like torturing my back for another 6 hours..."

Moon laughed at the statement as Marco rubbed his back. She bowed her head gracefully.

"Yes. As far as we're concerned, everything is set up. There will be 3 tasks, and we'll provide you with instructions for each one shortly before they begin. We've also adapted the challenges accordingly to your physique since the bodies of humans are more prone to injury than ours, not to mention that they take much longer to heal up."

"Sounds good. I'm ready!" said Marco, his voice and body beaming with confidence.

"Splendid!" exclaimed River and whipped his hand through the air in a jolly fashion, then wrapped it around Marco's shoulder and pulled him closer to himself, startling him while doing so. "Don't worry, Marco! I'm confident that you'll best every trial we'll throw at you! After all..." River gazed at Moon and raised his eyes suggestively, and added, "The women of the Butterfly lineage are known for choosing only the finest husbands for themselves!"

The Queen did a playful roll with her eyes at her husband's comment, then put on her serious face as she looked toward Marco.

"Now, Marco," she spoke. "Before we delve further into the matter at hand, I would like to tell you precisely why it is necessary for you to-"

"I know already," Marco casually interrupted the Queen, much to her displeasure. "The people of Mewni don't want anyone other than a Mewman to be their next King because I'm neither royal nor strong or capable enough and blah-blah-blah. Right?"

"No," replied Moon, earning an arched eyebrow from Marco. "You being human is not the issue. Were you, for example, a demon or a merman, the people would accept you without hesitation. Do you know why, Marco?"

"Uh, no..."

"Then I shall explain," said Moon. "You see, Marco, the main reason for this trial isn't that anyone doubts in your capabilities. You've proven your worth numerous times and are clearly capable of protecting my daughter."

"What is the main reason, then?" He asked. If his capabilities weren't under question, why had the people of Mewni been so persistent with their demand to have him tested?

He soon received his answer, although it wasn't quite what he'd expected.

"The issue is that, um, what's the best way to word it..." Moon pondered while rubbing her chin before looking at Marco. "Your and my daughter's 'compatibility'."

"Compatibility?" Marco repeated the word, not the slightest idea what she was talking about. "But Star and I are getting along great! Not to mention that we're a butt-kicking duo like no-"

"That's... not exactly what I meant..." Moon said, awkwardly, confusing Marco further. She leant in closer and gestured Marco to mimic her movement. Once her mouth was right next to his ear, she whispered something into it. The reaction she got was instant as Marco's red face could no longer be distinguished from his hoodie. She pulled away, as did he, and all three sat in silence.

"...Oh..." was all Marco managed to muster up, having no other response to her explanation.

"You understand now, don't you?" Moon more stated than asked. "While your biological incompatibility won't hinder any of the 'activities' that you two may want to engage in once you're older, it will be an insurmountable obstacle when offsprings come into question. We've done the research, and there's a 99.999999% chance that we're right about it, so we may as well round it up to 100%!"

"In short, you can't have kids of your own," added River, being more short spoken than his wife.

"I... uh... see..." Marco forced out in response, wishing he could turn invisible to dodge the set of stares directed at him by the elderly couple.

Moon sighed deeply and spoke with a firm but tender voice, "Marco, we're not going to sugarcoat it; We were, and still are, very upset about this, as are our people. You understand that, don't you?"

"Yeah..."

"You've already broken many of our sacred traditions when you took Star's hand," River continued. "And you'll be breaking another by being unable to provide royal-blooded offsprings for my daughter and our lineage. But-" River smiled and raised one finger into the air. "That doesn't mean that Moon and I think anything less of you. As far as we're concerned, you're already our son."

"The people, however, are of a different mindset," said Moon. "Unless you capture their hearts and prove your worth, you'll not be permitted to officially become the crown Prince of Mewni. It took a good deal of arguing from our side to convince them to even put you on this trial instead of denying you the title straight off."

Marco nodded, slowly and shamefully, frowning all the while. He couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for putting the King and Queen in such a position where they had to act against the wishes of their own people. And the fact that he and Star could never conceive a child... He may be a teenager, but it stung.

He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and looked up to see both Moon and River smiling at him softly, letting him know that they weren't angry with him, even if the had the right to be. It was strange.

"Why are you two so cool about this? Isn't this a serious and unavoidable problem that should have the two of you firing me out of a cannon?"

"Normally, yes," River said, casually. "Fortunately for you, Marco, one of our traditions works strongly in your favor!" Marco arched an eyebrow at the King, who cleared his throat and continued in a matter-of-fact fashion, "In the event that the princess of Mewni chooses her prince to be of non-mewman descent, the customs and traditions of his culture are to be respected within our Kingdom, so long as the King, Queen, and high council approve of them."

"After looking into your culture," continued Moon, "We discovered a fascinating custom. If I'm not mistaken, you are allowed to take a child, which has been left without its parents, under your care and call them your own. What was it called again? Ah, yes! Adoption!"

"So you're saying that Star and I will have to adopt a hair to the throne?" Marco asked, looking for confirmation.

"Correct," said River. "We've decided that the two of you are to do so on the day of your coronation, which will happen once Moon and I step down or are unable to fulfill our duties and King and Queen. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds reasonable."

"Splendid! It's settled, then!" proclaimed River.

"Alright, enough of this discussion," said Moon, and looked at Marco. "Firstly, let's make sure you gain the right to become the prince, an then we'll discuss this further, alright?"

Marco nodded, and the carriage fell into silence once more.

To be continued...

Sneak preview of what's to come:

"You guys have a mailbox?" asked Marco as he eyed the letter on Moon's hand.

"Doesn't every royal family have one?" River asked.

"That's not important. Just read the letter and assess what would be the best action to take," said Moon and handed Marco a white envelope.

Marco nodded and opened the envelope. Paper in hand, he cleared his throat, and read:

My liege!

I write to you with shocking news!

Sir Wiltshire, your royal spy, tried to have me assassinated to make sure I wouldn't discover his plot to kill Sir Wiltshire!

Signed,

Your Humble Spymaster, Sir Wiltshire.

"Uhhhhh..." Marco looked up at the King and Queen. Both of them stared at him with deadpan looks, unsure how to ever react to... that...

Marco, however, thought they were waiting for his assession. He said, finding it to be the most logical thing to do, "Um, we fire your Spymaster...?"

"That... is actually a wise suggestion..." Moon admitted in a slow and deadpan voice. This was the last time she'd let River assign positions of high importance to her their servants without her supervision. Honestly, the man would probably marry an Eagle if the opportunity presented itself...

Moon snatched the letter from Marco's hands and stuffed it carelessly into one of her husband's pockets. She would have a talk with him about this later, for now, she had other obligations to fulfill.


Chapter End Notes: Well, that's it, folks! See ya soon!