Chapter 47
The trip over the pass went quickly; dusk had not quite fallen when they reached the jungle on the other side. They decided to camp; neither Kate or Sawyer wanted to sleep anywhere near the pit. It was only a couple of miles away; they could leave early, get the pack then cross the two passes before night. They hoped.
The fire was blazing merrily as Sawyer, Kate and Eko sat around it cooking the little animals Vincent had caught for them; he lay next to Sawyer, looking very pleased with himself as Sawyer gently scratched his ears. Sawyer's other hand rested softly on the small of Kate's back as she held both of their meals spitted on one stick; she balanced it on her knee so she could hold it with one hand; her other hand was on Sawyer's knee, rubbing it idly as she stared into the flames. He just watched her.
Sawyer felt different since he had seen the Cloud the second time and touched it; he was the same Sawyer but not the same, he was older, much older and wiser. Not so much on the wiser, though. He should be terrified of the things that he was discovering in himself; that he could love someone so completely as he loved Kate had been enough of a shock, but now there were all of these other things too, and it scared him a little that he wasn't surprised at them, they just were. Of course, Kate accepted them, too, and that helped; with her support and love he could do anything.
All of the animals spoke to him; he could hear them murmuring in the background and the trees and plants whispered in the wind and he could understand them too; he could hear the stars and the ocean and every living thing around him. He felt alive, wild, primal; a part of the island, yet apart from it. He wanted to run through the jungle with Vincent, tasting the air and the scents upon it; only Kate kept him tethered to reality and civility. His hand clutched at her back; she turned to him, smiling. "You hungry?"
He grinned at her. "I'm always hungry, sweetheart."
She sniggered. "Yeah. I know," she whispered, "But I meant for food."
Dimples flashing he leaned forward until his lips were pressed against her ear; she felt goosebumps prickle on her arms as his breath tickled her neck. "I was talkin' about food." He kissed her gently on the neck, making her shiver with delight.
"You know," she said, to no one in particular, "I used to be a vegetarian." Glancing at Vincent, she said, "Can't you hunt down some vegetables, or some rice? Or, God, for a potato!" She raised her eyes Heavenward.
Vincent woofed at her, nonchalantly, not even looking at her. Sawyer laughed. "He said he ain't a damn farmer, go get your own potato."
Kate glared at the dog. "Are you sure you're not related somewhere down the line? Because I swear, that dog is just like you. Toxic." Glancing over at him, she said, "Speaking of farmer, you never did finish telling me why you spent the night in jail when you pulled that prank."
He smiled sadly at her. "You don't wanna hear about that, Freckles. It ain't important, I only told you so Jack could sew you up."
She looked into his eyes, holding them; the stick in her hand drooped almost spilling their food into the ashes and Eko cleared his throat to warn her. Kate jerked the stick back up, then turned back to Sawyer. "Yes, I do, Sawyer. I want to know all about you, anything you want to tell me."
He smiled and took her hand, rubbing it gently; his touch made her skin tingle. "Alright then. After my parents, you know...after that I was passed around from aunt to uncle to cousin until I ran out of family members to go to." Glancing aside at her he grinned. "I wasn't the most...well behaved kid."
Kate laughed, a little sadness in it. "I can imagine." She could picture him; hurt, angry, alone and unwanted and knowing it. Her heart melted for the little boy she could still see inside the man; hurt and angry, but not alone and unwanted. Not anymore. Not ever again.
"Yeah, well, then I was put in foster care, just shuffled around from dirty house to dirty house, never in one place long. When I was arrested the family I was with didn't care enough to come get me." Tears were welling up in her eyes; he smiled and touched her cheek as Eko reached out and snagged her spit; it was threatening to fall in the fire again. "Don't feel bad, Kate. It was a small town in the mountains. You ever watch Andy Griffith? It was like that, the sheriff's wife even felt so bad that no one came to get me that she made me dinner. I got to stay up late, watch TV, eat a hot meal; and hell, for a minute, somebody cared about me. It wasn't all that bad."
She couldn't help it, she cried out softly, "Oh, Saywer!" and buried her face against him; his hands spasmed around her back, clasping her as close as he could. "I'm so sorry," she said.
He smiled and whispered, 'Nothin' to be sorry for, Freckles. That was a long time ago, another life. Somebody cares, now, and that's all I need."
He held her for a few minutes, then Eko spoke up, "Dinner time." Vincent sat up eagerly; he didn't care about cooking it, but since they could 'talk' to him he was treated more like a human. They wouldn't let him eat raw meat.
Kate and Sawyer disentangled themselves and she reached out for the stick, smiling at Eko as she did. "Thanks." She pulled one off, blowing on her fingers as she handed it to Sawyer; Eko gave one to Vincent, who took it happily until it burned his mouth; he spat it out and glared at Eko, growling.
Sawyer said, laughing at Vincent, who was pawing at his tongue in disgust, "He said you could've let it cool off a little or given him some warning."
Eko looked at Vincent scoldingly. "Now, Vincent, you knew it would be hot, you should not have tried to stuff the whole thing in your mouth at once."
Vincent gave him a withering stare, then barked twice; picking up his dinner with the tips of his teeth he trotted off to the far side of the clearing and lay down with his back to them. Sawyer laughed and shook his head. "I tell ya, Ed. You really ticked him off. He said you could stuff something in your mouth all at once."
Kate burst into giggles; damn, that dog was like Sawyer. Even Eko smiled, laughing a little. He picked at his meal, eating tiny little bites; eyeing Kate, who was staring up at Sawyer with love and desire he smiled and stood. "I think I am going to sleep out there tonight. The firelight dims my eyes so that I cannot see properly."
Kate glanced away from Sawyer with mild interest; she didn't see Sawyer look sharply at him. "See what?" she asked.
Eko smiled at Sawyer's gaze. "See what the island has to show me. Goodnight." He turned abruptly and disappeared into the jungle, calling behind him, "Come, Vincent."
Vincent picked up his dinner and glanced back at Sawyer, grinning; he woofed softly and Sawyer snorted. "No, I am not giving you details later. Get outta here!" Vincent chuffed a laugh and disappeared behind Eko, leaving them alone. They sat quietly for a few moments. staring at each other as they ate.
"What was it, Sawyer?" Kate asked as she popped a piece of meat in her mouth. "What you saw in the cloud that Eko told you to forget."
Sawyer gazed at her; he wanted to tell her, to share it with her, but he was afraid to; if he put it in words it would be something tangible and destructible. As long as it remained in his mind it was safe and he didn't want to lose it. "I can't tell you, Kate. I want to, but I can't. Not yet. I will, one day." Drinking her in he was filled by her, and as she felt his gaze on her she smiled at him. "I can tell you this, though. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
She nodded, a little disappointed. "Okay. But that is one hell of a tease, Tex."
"Nah," he said, dropping his food on the ground and wiping his hands on his pants. "This is a tease." He kissed her, hard, running his hands along her body as she sighed and squirmed beneath his fingers; he pulled away abruptly, leaving her flushed and breathless.
"Okay," she panted. "You win." He fell on her again, smiling; grabbing his neck she dragged him down to her, gasping as his electric skin touched hers, filling her with energy and power. She groaned as his fingers shocked her, sliding beneath her shirt; as they slid higher she moaned, the energy arousing her beyond anything she had known before. She was thrumming beneath him, and she could feel him pulsing against her; as his fingers undid her jeans and slid inside of her waistband she gasped and cried out at the tingling sensation his fingers left as they shocked her gently.
Sawyer groaned against her as she cried out; her hands were at his button, working at his jeans; he rolled away and slid them off quickly; Kate recovered enough to take her clothes off; when he stretched against her she stiffened as if she'd been struck by lightning.
He kissed her, starting with her forehead, his lips slid lower, to her eyes, then her nose, then they lingered deliciously on her mouth, teasing her with his tongue; sending random bolts of electricity through her. Each time he did her excitement grew; by the time his lips reached her belly she was writhing with pleasure and need.
He lifted up and looked at her; she was panting and squirming beneath him and her eyes were glowing as she gazed up at him. He could hear her words in his head, Please, please, please. Smiling wickedly he nodded, lowering his lips to her navel and trailing kisses even further down; she gasped and her eyes widened as he whispered, "If you're gonna beg, Freckles..."
-----
Jack and Ana found the pass and made camp; she hadn't spoken much since their run in with the bearded man and Jack was a little worried about her, she was still pale and shaky.
They sat close by the fire, apart; their earlier easy intimacy gone. "Ana," Jack finally said, "What was all of that about? Who was he talking about?"
She didn't look up from the flames as she answered. "Someone I killed."
Jack started and stared at her. "What?" he hissed.
She turned cold, scared eyes on him, a little hurt by his reaction, not that she expected anything else from him. "He shot me and I killed him."
"Oh," Jack said. She was a cop, the fact that she had killed someone shouldn't have come as such a shock. Her next words were a shock.
"I was pregnant. I lost the baby." Tears welled up and she gazed into the fire as they dripped down her cheeks. "I can't have children."
Jack moved closer, putting his arms around her and she didn't move away. "I'm sorry," he said. "Did you get a second opinion?"
She laughed bitterly through her tears and said, "Yeah. and a third. No children."
Jack wanted to fix her, to make it better, but he couldn't and the frustration enraged him. "I'm sorry, Ana. I really am."
She shrugged, wiping away her tears. "Yeah, well, what's done is done. I can't change it." The thought entered her mind, striking her like a gong; it reverberated through her head. Maybe you can. Maybe Locke is right.
She pushed the thought away but it didn't go far; it tickled the edges of her conciousness, teasing her with the possibility. Jack's arms tightened around her and she looked up at him, her eyes still red and puffy. He kissed them softly, then dropped his lips to hers; she kissed him back, drowning her sorrow in the waves of pleasure his lips and fingers were eliciting from her.
All of her worries fell away with her clothes and she enjoyed the freedom, even though she knew it wouldn't last forever.
