A/N: What can I say? I tried finishing this sooner and failed...
Anywho... I'm impressed with the fact that Daron keeps pissing people off while not giving a fuck; this woman is a true hero xD. But the concerns of (most) of the fandom are unnecessary. Why?
I don't know how it isn't obvious, but the title of one Episode is 'Sophomore Slump' and it's summarised as 'Marco decides to put in a full effort to living life in the present on Earth.' I'm not gonna go into any details, but the title just gives too much away and makes the plot really predictable. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just google the terms 'Sophomore' and 'Slump' and let logic do the rest. If anyone wants a full explanation, PM me.
Bedrock Armor: *inhales* Boi, I am among the first 20k people who bought that game! Used to play it 6+ hours daily with my friends back in elementary and in middle school, although I've since dropped my gaming habits in favour of reading and watching Anime.
Anonymous. MISTER Anonymous: A lot of questions indeed. Don't worry, the answers will come. Eventually ;).
Guest: Don't tempt me...
Rock Raider: Yeah, she is the girl, that much is obvious. However, what is her true purpose and just what is she really? That's the question you have to ask yourself, my friend.
RobLebron: I put A LOT of work into developing Zora, so you still have much to learn about her. Tom will play a somewhat vital role, but yeah, he's blind AF at the moment. I'll update when I update; my shedule is packed full atm!
Disclaimer: All characters from Star vs. The Forces of Evil belong to the creators of the show. The plot of this story and any original characters that may appear in it, however, do belong to me and I would kindly ask you to inform me should you want to use anything from this story in your own fanfic.
Beta read by ElleFreak.
Story cover by Luzz015. Be sure to check her out on DeviantArt!
Star vs. The Forces of Evil: Staring it up!
Chapter 7
The Royal Wimps
Part 3 (B)
A yellow bird flew across the clear sapphire sky. It was soon joined by another, smaller of stature and brown of feathers. They danced across the sky, looping around each other in circles large and small, dipping down one moment and ascending back up into the air the next. They chirped happily while doing their performance, one that Marco was watching to distract himself and kill some time as he waited for whatever was to come next.
Honestly, watching those two birds frolic across the sky was also serving as a feeble attempt to take his mind off Janna's mischief. He couldn't lie to himself; he was nervous about the object she'd thrown into the raging fire underneath the crockpot, even if no harm had come from it until now, that is.
Maybe she was just trying to place a seed of unnecessary paranoia into his head? But why? Wasn't she on his side?
He dismissed the worrisome thoughts and looked towards Lady Maizewall, the acting head judge of his trial. The elderly woman was locked in a conversation with King River. From what he could tell, the two were calmly discussing something. They glanced at him every now and then, River's look appearing neutral while Lady Maizewall's was clearly judgemental towards him. The rest of the gathered mewmans didn't pay much attention to him; instead they kept talking to one another, undisturbed.
Lady Maizewall stood up from her chair and walked forward a few steps. The crowd fell silent. She gestured at Marco and then at the empty chair next to River and Moon. Marco crossed the distance and ignored the piercing stared directed at him by the crowd, then took his seat next to River.
Lady Maizewall clapped her hands together a couple of times, ensuring that she was now the centre of everyone's attention.
"My fellow mewmans, and others..." Marco frowned at the lowly remark but said nothing as Lady Maizewall continued in an even voice, "As many of you know, not too long ago, the hand of our Kingdom's most prized blossom, Princess Star of the royal Butterly family, was promised to the boy sitting beside his and her highness." All eyes were suddenly on Marco. He felt his stomach churn but managed to fake a smile and a calm wave of his hand.
"Just be looking at the creature, I'm certain that all of you can easily tell that he is not of mewman or even of noble descent. He is a lowly human, a subspecies. Nothing more, perhaps even a bit less."
Stay calm, Marco. Stay calm.
"And yet our beloved princess fancies him over anyone else. How and more importantly why is beyond me..." Lady Maizewall sighed and shook her head at Marco, frowning all the while.
What a b-
"However," she continued before Marco could even finish his own thoughts. "We mewmans are a civilized and reasonable species. As such we have, under the plea of our righteous and just Queen Moon Butterfly, come together this fine day to judge whether said human is worthy of our princess' hand. In short, we have agreed to give him a chance and in the unlikely event that he proves himself, acknowledge him as our future prince and king. So, Marco-" Lady Maizewall looked straight at him as she said her next words, "Are you aware of the consequences that are to come should you fail the tasks before you and be judged as unworthy?"
Marco nodded solemnly. "I'll be denounced as Star's boyfriend and will no longer have the right to pursue a relationship with her. Is that right?"
"Oh my! You're smarter than you let on! Perhaps I'll hire you as my stable boy once you fail today's tasks! Haha!" All except for Moon and River and Buff Frog laughed at Lady Mazewall's remark, which was at Marco's expense. But he remained calm and merely glared at the woman. With a snap of her fingers, everyone fell silent in less than a moment. This helped Marco understand just how much authority the woman had within the mewman society.
"You are correct, Marco," she said. "We will not prevent you from seeing her, but anything beyond the status of an ally will be off-limits. Do you give us your word to uphold your end of the bargain?"
"Only if you promise to uphold yours, because I'm not failing today!" Marco responded with clear determination. There was no way in hell that he'd lose Star in such a stupid way.
Lady Maizewall flashed him a cheeky smile.
"I'll stay true to my word, earthling," she promised. Marco noticed her smug tone; she was clearly telling him 'I won't be the one who'll have to uphold their end of the deal'.
"Good," Marco responded, coldly-
Lady Maizewall turned to the rest of the audience, and asked aloud, "Do you all swear to speak the truth of today's events, however they may transpire, and accept the outcome, regardless of what it may be?"
"We swear!" the mewmans replied in unison.
"So do I!" Marco exclaimed.
Lady Maizewall smiled coldly.
"...As do I," she said. "Now that this bit is settled, are you ready for the first task, boy?"
"I say bring it on!"
"Very well." Lady Maizewall said with a smug intonation that angered Marco; she truly believed he'd fail miserably. She turned to look at one of the mewmans who was sat in the front row of the observers and nodded once. This served as a signal for the man to stand up and walk over to her.
"This is Sir Lorkins," she introduced the young man to Marco. He was also dressed for the occasion, but more humbly than Lady Maizewall; A regular blue buttoned-up vest was strapped over a white long-sleaved shirt. Atop of his head was a blue and golden hat. His pants were brown and the colour of his boots matched his vest. Unlike Lady Maiezewall, his eyes and soft smile gave off a vibe of kindness.
"A pleasure to meet you, Marco Diaz of Earth," he said whilst smiling kindly and bowing. By this gesture alone, Marco could tell that he was much nicer than Lady Maizewall. Marco smiled and returned the gesture by inclining his head respectfully.
"Sir Lorkins is the one tasked with explaining both the rules of every challenge and the objective you need to complete in each one in order to pass," Lady Maizewall clarified.
"The three challenges are designed to test the three virtues within you that every ruler must possess; wit, perseverance and strength." Sir Lorkins added. "There first test shall be the test of wit. Are you ready?"
Marco nodded.
"Alright. Then let us proceed with the trial," Sir Lorkins said and looked at River and Moon. "Your Majesties, I believe this is your queue."
Marco watched as Moon and River stood up and walked over to the small group. It was then that Marco noticed three letters in Moon's hand, all stamped and sealed with what he presumed was the symbol of Mewni.
"Marco," Sir Lorkins spoke. "What you see in our Queen's hand are three envelopes containing the reports of our most trusted spymasters; Sir Wiltshire, Sir Fredrick and Lady Rossbell. They each report directly to the King and Queen by having letters delivered to the royal mailbox-"
"You guys have a mailbox?" asked Marco as he eyed the letter on Moon's hand.
"Doesn't every royal family have one?" River inquired, shrugging.
"Ahem," Sir Lorkins interrupted the interruption. "May I finish?"
"Right... Sorry..." Marco apologised and chuckled awkwardly.
"As I was saying; as King you are obliged to read the reports and take appropriate action based on them. Sometimes they are reports of other kingdoms conspiring against us, sometimes they contain rumours of assassinations, sometimes of an increase in the number of armed forces in our neighbouring kingdoms, and similar," Lorkins explained. "Your first task, Marco, is fairly simple. The Queen shall hand you the three envelopes containing the reports of our three spymasters, and you will have to take action. Your decisions will then be judged by the royal council, whose members are all present and accounted for. To pass this test, at least two of your decisions must go through. Understood?"
"Yeah, I think so," said Marco.
"Good. Let us proceed, then." Sir Lorkins looked at Queen Moon and bowed his head humbly. "My Queen, if you would hand him the first envelope."
Moon did as instructed and gave Marco one of the three white envelopes.
"Go on, Marco, open it and read the letter that's inside," she beckoned him.
Marco nodded and opened the envelope. Paper in hand, he cleared his throat, and read:
My liege!
I write to you with shocking news!
Sir Wiltshire, your royal spy, tried to have me assassinated to make sure I wouldn't discover his plot to kill Sir Wiltshire!
Signed,
Your Humble Spymaster, Sir Wiltshire.
"Uhhhhh..." Marco looked up at the King and Queen. Both of them stared at him with deadpan looks, unsure how to ever react to... that...
Marco, however, thought they were waiting for his assession. He said, finding it to be the most logical thing to do, "Um, we fire this guy...?"
"That... is actually a wise suggestion..." Moon admitted in a slow and deadpan voice; there was no doubt that the council would agree with his decision. However, this was the last time she'd let River assign positions of high importance to her their servants without her supervision. Honestly, the man would probably marry an Eagle if the opportunity presented itself...
Moon snatched the letter from Marco's hands and stuffed it carelessly into one of her husband's pockets. She would have a talk with him about this later, for now, she had other obligations to fulfil. In light of said obligations, she handed Marco the second envelope that was sealed with equal care as the last.
Marco took out the letter and opened it and read forth:
My liege,
During my time in the Uni Kingdom, I've come to the conclusion that they remain as loyal to us as ever.
Should I remain here or return to Mewni so that I may receive further instructions?
Signed,
Your humble and loyal servant, Lady Rossbell.
P.S. Please have me recalled; I feel silly walking around disguised as a giant Unicorn head (and I'm astounded that anybody has yet to notice my disguise... We need new allies...)
"You're spying on Princess Ponyhead's family!? I thought you were friends!" Marco exclaimed, taking his eyes off the letter to look at River and Moon in shock.
"Which is exactly why we must be all the more cautious!" River proclaimed sternly. "After all, Marco, do you know what the worst part about betrayal is, hmm?" Marco stared at him blankly, having no clue where he was going with this.
"It doesn't come from your enemies, but the people you trust the most and call 'friend'," River muttered. "Don't get me wrong, Marco; we don't mistrust them, King Pony Head and I have been friends and allies for ages; but you can only trust someone 99.99%, never 100%, remember this!"
"More importantly," Lady Maizewall decided to contribute to the conversation. "What course of action shall you advise that we take, Marco Diaz?"
Marco remained silent. He was assuming that the decision was whether it would be better to keep the spy there or recall her.
"I dunno... I'd say we recall her. She doesn't sound very happy about having to be there."
"Alright, and now the last envelope," Sir Lorkins said as Moon handed Marco the final envelope, which he promptly opened and read aloud.
This is your trusted spymaster reporting.
There seems to be a bit of a situation in the Mermaid Kingdom; I... made a joke, you know, the one about the horse and the long face. Well... there were seahorses present and it turns out that one of them was her Highness' cousin, and now they want to feed me to the sharks...
So... Um... Could you please send a diplomat to have me pardoned before I'm eaten alive?
Signed, Sir Fredrick
"You know what, I'm starting to question whether you're appointing the right people for these jobs," Marco commented as the four stared at him in complete silence.
"I'm beginning to question that, as well," Moon muttered while glaring daggers at her husband, who looked into the air and whistled casually.
Marco returned the letter to Queen Moon, and said, "So, yeah, I'd say fire this guy, too, but after we send someone over there to bail him out."
Lady Maizewall didn't seem very pleased with his decision, which meant that it was probably the correct one.
"Do we even need to pass this on to the council?" Moon asked sarcastically, well aware that it would only be a waste of time.
"We've heard everything," one of the council members, a bearded elderly man with a big gut commented from his seat. "While we disagree with the boy's second decision since it shows insecurity and far too much compassion, but we agree with his other two decisions. Therefore, he has passed this first trial."
"So it would seem..." Lazy Maizewall grumbled bitterly, crossing her arms and glaring down at Marco. "You're not in the clear yet, boy! You may have gotten lucky this time, but the true test begins shortly!"
With that, she walked off back to her seat.
"Well, I'm gonna go and see whether the next task is all set up," Sir Lorkins stated and walked off.
"Nice job, Marco!" River exclaimed happily and patted him on the back. "One down, one more to go! Haha!"
"If you'll excuse us, I would like to have a word with my husband about certain matters!" Moon said angrily, still glaring at her husband, who swallowed nervously. With that, the two also walked off, leaving Marco to himself. He blinked a couple of times.
What the hell was this challenge!? I thought these were supposed to be serious!
Marco wasn't sure whether they were making fun of him or whether Mewni truly was run by a handful of bimbos, apart from Queen Moon and King Ri... Apart from Queen Moon. Seriously; how could two of the top three spies be so incompetent that simply firing them was a good enough judgement to have him pass the test!? No matter how much he mulled it over, it still didn't make any sense!
Hold on... A thought crossed his mind and he looked over to the carriage that he'd arrived in. His eyes immediately widened in shock. There was Janna holding the real envelopes that he was supposed to open and read. She gave him a thumbs up and vanished into the carriage before someone saw her.
She faked the letters! I thought I told her to stay out of this!
Marco noticed that nobody was paying any mind to him, so he walked over to the carriage and stuck his head inside. However, there was no sign of the mischievous girl. The only thing he noticed was a letter lying on the floor of the carriage. He picked it up and felt his blood boil as he read the familiar handwriting, finally realising why the writing on two of the letters had been so familiar.
I'm helping you, whether you like it or not.
-Janna
P.S. In my defence I only faked two of the letters.
"Janna!" Marco grumbled angrily and tuck the paper into his pocket before anyone found it.
"Marco, what are you doing over there? It'll soon be time to commence your second trial, so come over here, at once!" he heard Moon cry out, sounding displeased by his sudden absence.
"Coming!" he exclaimed and backed away from the carriage.
Is it considered cheating if it's done against my will? he thought, hoping to catch Janna and confront her before she interfered for the second time. As much as he wanted to beat the trials, he wanted to do so by fair means.
Cheaters never prosper, after all.
Except not really.
End of Part 3B!
Chapter End Notes:
That does it for this chapter! From now on I'm not even gonna bother putting up an 'expected update' since I've just become so unreliable... In short, it'll come when it'll come, but I'll try to keep it at every 2 weeks +/- a few days. Until then, bye!
