A/N: There will likely be no further updates until mid-December. My academic schedule is packed full for the next few weeks so I'll have to shove my writing aside until then. I hope for your understanding.
On a side note, I'm kinda let down by the lack of creativity of Season 3; not only was it highly predictable (My speculations were all proven to be true) but it looks to me as though the creators are, yet again, going to follow their trend of giving a character the spotlight in 1-2 episodes, then cutting them off almost entirely. (I'm talking about Tom since he and Star are back together -took them an incredible 2 episodes... How has the guy responsible for pacing not been fired yet?-).
Looking back on 'My Star' I've noticed an overload of clichés present within it, along with a lack of diversity and creativity. In short; I am happy with what I've written but it could have been done soooooo much better! I'm going to let you in on a little secret: 'My Star' was supposed to end with Tom being prince Shining and Marco marrying Star. Generic, boring and talentless plotting and writing. Upon realising that, I made some adjustments and vowed to fix everything I did wrong with this sequel. Obviously I still had (have) to close some open plot-points, Marco's trial being the final one, and after this chapter is done I can finally start writing this fanfic the way it was supposed to be written. Fair warning: You will not like the direction it's about to take and you will hate me for the ending.
Anyway, enjoy the chapter!
Replies to the latest reviews:
RedHood001: They probably contained something just as stupid.
Bedrock Armor: Trust me, they do xD
Sussy: Long story short; they're forcing another love-triangle to spite the viewers and delay the inevitable. Kinda sad that they went for the cheapest and most uncreative story route...
Rock Raider: OMG! THAT'S INCREDIBLE! Your guess has absolutely nothing to do with this chapter xD!
Blazing Fire Star Kid 01: It's jolleIQ and I'm proud to say that I'm the first one who designed her as a female!
Starshine89: Yeah, I'll take some time off to sort things out. I hope people won't be mad, I just need a slight break from writing right now.
RedHood001: I'm taking about a month off to focus on college. But I'll be back better than ever! Mark my words!
Beta read by ElleFreak.
Story cover by Luzz015. Be sure to check her out on DeviantArt!
Star vs. The Forces of Evil: Staring it up!
Chapter 7
The Royal Wimps
Part 4 (B)
The rural areas of Mewni were much like a colourful canvas; painted all about with specks of yellows, browns, greens and several other colours. The Mewman farmers were the ones responsible for ensuring that no spot on the canvas was left unpainted, be it during cold or warm times. They planted and harvested various types of farm produce all year round and supplied the cities and settlements of Mewni with fresh food. The prominent farm produce was the grain that served not only as Mewni's main food source but was also the key to holding together the kingdom's economic infrastructure since it accounted for over half of the kingdom's exported products.
Maize.
Or corn, as it was more commonly referred to.
Wherever one set foot, avoiding this tall, green plant and its yellow offsprings was impossible. There would always be at least one cornfield wherever one looked, some the size of a large garden, others surpassing the size of the mewman capital. Dent corn, sweet corn, flint corn, even popcorn could be found on those fields. The mewmans' cared little about which type of corn they ate; to them this sacred and treasured plant was worth the world.
However, the farmers tasked with maintaining these fields were not treated as highly. They were at the very bottom of the pyramid, sometimes even beggars were better off than them. The land they worked on and processed was not theirs but belonged to the mewman nobility that was akin to the feudal lords of old on Earth. These farmers worked tirelessly day in and day out and were given just barely enough compensation for their work to make it through the winter. This ensured that they would never have enough to buy their independence and would have to keep working for the rest of their lives.
They were free, that much was true, but their freedom was an illusion.
Their struggles did not go unnoticed; Moon and River had passed numerous laws to better the farmers' position, like lesser taxes and a higher earnings but that did not improve their position by a significant amount. The nobles who owned these large plots of land only looked out for themselves and always found some hole in the mewman constitution that allowed them to keep the farmers under their direct control and deprive them of their rightful share of produce.
To better their own position, the farmers had, several generations ago, stepped together and crafted so-called farm-settlements; villages and towns whose population consisted entirely of farmers and their families. These were not like regular towns; they were small, usually no larger than 20 or 30 houses, and their sole purpose was to have all of the farmers in charge of processing one area gathered up in one place, so they could more easily organise their work and step together if the need arose. They helped one another out whenever and wherever they could. If one family found itself on the brink of starvation, the others would step together and help said family out, without expecting anything in return. Their solidarity was the sole reason for Mewni's prosperity despite the unjust regime dictated by the noble families.
Atop of a large hill shadowing over such a village, a lizard dressed in a neat, black tuxedo smiled to himself and took a good whiff of the air. "Ahh. The smell of mewman hypocrisy and corruption," he sighed with a malicious grin.
Toffee snapped his fingers and behind him gathered a line of monsters, all clad in armour and wielding weapons and torches. Some even carried pots of black oil with them.
"Burn it... and leave none alive!" he ordered and watched the lines of monsters descend down the hill towards the village, ready to set it aflame and kill all in their path. As the buildings were set ablaze and people screamed in terror, Toffee looked up towards the sky with a vengeful glare.
"We've not forgotten your treachery, Moon," he said with a dark and husky voice that betrayed his anger. "We will have our vengeance, and we shall not stop until you and your kingdom are reduced to ashes..."
At the trial
"Wait, so the 2nd challenge is gonna be an eating competition?" asked Marco. Sir Lorkins nodded.
The two were presently seated at a large rectangular wooden table and discussing Marco's next challenge while the rest of the gathered folk ate the freshly prepared food. Marco took notice of the overload of corn-based foods but commented not.
"Indeed, Marco," Sir Lorkins responded while nibbling on his corndog. "Well, it's not really a contest. You'll just have to eat all of the boiled corn that the chefs have been busy preparing in that oversized crock pot over there," added Lorkins and pointed at the large, black pot that was settled atop of a fire. Marco was still wondering what Janna had thrown in there earlier, but he decided not to worry about it.
"Alright," Marco replied. "But what's the whole point of that challenge? No offence but it sounds kinda dumb and pointless."
"Dumb and pointless!? Corn is very sacred to us mewmans!" Sir Lorkins proclaimed, sounding as offended as though someone had insulted his own mother. "We expect that our future rulers cherish it just as much as we do, if not more!"
"I already like corn," responded Marco, his arms crossed. "I don't see how stuffing myself with a pile of boiled corn is gonna prove anything."
"Well we mewmans believe that a great ruler must have an even greater stomach!" Marco looked at Sir Lorking sceptically. Sir Lorkins sighed and leant closer to Marco and whispered into his ear, "Believe me, I know it's stupid! Why else would you think the mewmans happily accept him as our king!"
Marco looked over to where Sir Lorkins was pointing at and saw King River stuffing his face with food, gobbling down bite after bite as the rest of the mewmans watched him do so with awe in their eyes.
"I have nothing against the man, but his, um, 'cognitive' abilities are not exactly on the level one would expect from the King... Then again I've noticed that we mewmans aren't exactly the brightest bunch... " Sir Lorkins added. As if wanting to prove his point, River let out a large burp and the gathered mewmans erupted into a loud cheer. Moon merely slapped her forehead.
"Fair point," admitted Marco. Smiling, he said, "Anyway, thanks for giving me a heads up about it. I was just about to eat some of this delicious looking food."
"The plan was to have you stuff your face before the eating challenge so that you would fail," stated Lorkins. Marco stared at him, wide-eyed. "It's no secret that Lady Maizewall wishes to see you fail today's trial, but I could not let you lose by such dishonourable methods! A victory obtained through cheating is no true victory!"
Marco nodded.
I gotta find Janna, he reminded himself, taking note of Sir Lorkins' words, which he agreed with.
"Ah, look!" exclaimed Sir Lorkins suddenly and pointed towards a mewman dressed in silly, colourful clothes and wearing a silly hat. "The jester has arrived to entertain us during this brief respite!"
Upon hearing that, all the gathered mewmans -aside from River who kept stuffing his face with corndogs- looked towards the jester, who bowed briefly.
"I am here to entertain you, gentlemen," he said. "What silly act of pure humiliation will you have me do for your entertainment?"
"Tell us a good joke!" one mewman requested. The rest of the men and women cried in agreement.
"As you wish! I shall 'crack a joke' or however it is that you say it!" the jester proclaimed and cleared his throat, then began telling his joke.
"So, a horse walks into a bar. And he's confused, you know, 'cause he's a horse. What is he even doing in a bar in the first place? A wild animal doesn't belong in there! So he starts rampaging, the horse. Kicking the tables and injuring the guests. He was scared, you know, probably thinking something like 'I'm a horse! What the heck am I doing in a bar!?'. He was scared, frightened and he wouldn't stop rampaging."
There was a long pause and everyone stared at the jester with blank expressions.
"So we put him down... Shot him in the head... Six times..."
There was another awkward pose as nobody was willing to speak up.
"He's gone now, the horse... He's gone now..." Everyone at the table silently watched the jester break down in tears and sob violently whilst covering his eyes with both hands, weeping away the tragic and bloody memories.
"That was disturbing..." Marco muttered to Sir Lorkins, who could only nod in agreement.
While everyone watched the jester's mental breakdown as he kept crying and screaming 'Why!?' to the heavens like a madman, Marco, out of the corner of his eye, noticed someone very familiar creeping around the table, crouched so that nobody would spot her. She kept going from person to person, reaching into their pockets and taking out anything and everything of value.
Marco grit his teeth and excused himself from the table, then dashed around to the location where he'd last seen the thieving girl. His actions went unnoticed as the guests had their gazes locked onto the jester, who was now threatening to set himself on fire to gain redemption for the slaughtering of an innocent creature. He looked serious about it and even had a lighter and some lantern oil in his hands.
Marco was tempted to watch the display of self-torture but, alas, he still had to find Janna and have a good chat with her. He was also considering ratting her out and having her serve a little dungeon time, but knowing her, she would see it as more of a reward than a punishment, so he dismissed the thought and continued looking for her.
When he finally spotted her, his eyes widened and his heart stopped for a moment; she was in the middle of robbing Queen Moon!
Marco dashed so swiftly towards her that he nearly stumbled and fell. Fortunately he knew how to keep his footing. He grabbed Janna by the hand and pulled her underneath the table fiercely, and just in time.
"Hmm?" Moon looked behind herself, seeming confused.
"Is everything alright, Moonpie?" River asked, noticing his wife's sudden alarm.
"I don't know why, but I have this strange feeling that someone was robbing me blind."
River chucked, earning a glare from Moon.
"Don't be silly! Who in their right mind would be dumb enough to rob a queen?"
"Who in their right mind would be dumb enough to rob a queen!?" Marco hissed at Janna, who merely rolled her eyes and reached into her right pocket, then took out a fancy golden watch embedded with diamonds and rubies.
"Want something? I'll sell it to you for $5," she said, looking to make a quick buck.
"You realise that that watch is probably worth more than your house, right?" replied Marco, unamused.
"Fine... $4. You drive a hard bargain, Diaz."
Marco stared at her flatly with crossed arms and a puffed out chest. Janna sighed.
"Alright, I can take a hint!" she said as she pocketed the watch. "Why did you pull me under this table?"
"We need to talk," said Marco with a stern voice.
"Uh, no we do not!" Janna replied and turned away from him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to take care of." She was about to leave but Marco grabbed her by the hand. She struggled to break free, but Marco's grip was too strong.
"I'm not letting you leave until I get some answers, Janna!" Marco said sternly and stared at her. She was about to protest but noticed the anger in his eyes.
"Ugh, fine!" she grumbled and sat back down, facing him. "What do you want me to answer?"
"For starters, why are you going around and pickpocketing people?"
"To get some free stuff, duh! What other reason could there be?" she responded casually. Marco figured that arguing with her about it would be a waste of time, so he asked the next question.
"Why are you helping me cheat? I thought I told you that I wanted to do this thing fairly and by myself!"
"And risk losing Star?"
Marco had no response to that. He could only stare at Janna with wide eyes, his body frozen stiff.
"I..." he tried coming up with a response but fell short of one. All day long he'd been distracting himself from the severity of the situation; now that Janna had reminded him of it, his brain short-circuited and had trouble rebooting itself.
"Listen," Janna spoke, edging closer to him. "I'm not saying that you have to like cheating or that you have to agree with it in any other situation, but this is different! Star's my friend and so are you. I just don't wanna see you two get separated because of dumb crap like this."
"Your intentions are... oddly pure... what are you up to?" Marco asked with narrowed eyes, not fully buying her act. He knew Janna and she would never say anything like that.
Janna groaned irritably.
"I'm not proud of it either and it's gonna take a long time for me to recover from this, but I'm not up to anything evil this time. I just don't wanna see two of my closest friends getting hurt, alright?" she explained, looking very irritated as she was going against her typical attitude.
Marco looked her straight in the eyes. She didn't flinch and stared back at him seriously as if wanting to say "Trust me already, will ya?". And for the first time in... ever, he believed her.
Before he could say anything, however, Janna spoke up with a sincere voice, "Will you please for just this one day set your stupid moral pride aside and let me help you?"
It took Marco an hour-long minute of silence and thinking to come to a decision. He took a deep, reluctant breath and nodded.
"Alright. If it's for Star then I'll agree to it," he stated, completely serious. He then noticed a victorious smile present on Janna's face. "What's with the smile?"
"Oh, nothing," she replied. "But thanks for letting me know that whenever I want anything from you, I just gotta mention your precious little princess. I'm sure that this information will be quite useful in the future!"
Marco narrowed his eyes angrily at her. This girl really was an expert in turning every situation in her favour. He suddenly remembered something else he wanted to ask her.
"By the way, what was that thing you threw into the firepit earlier? It wasn't anything dangerous, was it?" He asked, wanting to interrogate her before making any further decisions. "I'll let you help me but you gotta promise that nobody is going to get hurt by any of your plans!"
"Don't worry, dude! I just threw my trademark Janna-stinkbomb in there, no big deal."
"Stinkbomb!?"
"Yes, stinkbomb," Janna confirmed, smiling slyly.
"Why would you throw a stink bomb into a firepit!?"
"Relax already, will ya," Janna said calmly to an enraged Marco. "I have it all planned out. Once that thing goes off, this whole place is gonna reak so badly that they're gonna have to cancel this whole eating-thingy and have you pass by default."
Marco stared at her blankly before frowning angrily. "How do you know that's what's gonna happen?"
"Because it's written in the rule book, duh!"
"How do you know what's written in there?"
Janna shook her head, disappointed. "Tsk-tsk, I'm ashamed of how little you know about me after all these years," she said and took out said rulebook from underneath her hat with a proud smirk.
"Please don't tell me that you stole that thing..."
"I would but I don't like lying. I have my standards, too, you know," she said with a shrug and took out said book out from underneath her hat and displayed it with a prideful smirk. Marco merely sighed and slapped his forehead, then shook his head.
"Alright. As long as it's safe and won't poison anyone, I'm cool with it," he said, forcing the words out of his mouth. Agruing with her was pointless, so it was better to just make compromises and live with it, he thought.
Just then, he heard Sir Lorkins calling for him. It was time for the next trial to commence.
"I gotta go. Can't afford to miss it," he said, then swiftly added, "And for the love of God do not rob any more people!"
As he was leaving his hideout, Janna said, "That thing I threw into the fire should go off any minute now. Fair warning, it's the most revolting smell known to mankind!"
"I'm not even gonna ask what you put into it!" Marco told her and stood up from underneath the table.
I still can't believe that nobody overheard us. Are these guys for real?
"Ah! Marco! There you are!" said Sir Lorkins upon seeing the boy approach him. Next to Sir Lorkins was Lazy Maizewall and behind the two was a small table piled up with boiled corn. Marco greeted him with a casual "Hey."
"Are you ready to begin the second trial?" Lorkins asked.
"Or have you come to your senses and decided to quit before you are utterly humiliated?" added Lady Maizewall with a smug undertone.
"Lady Maizewall, that is no way for a noble such as yourself to behave. Honestly..." Sir Lorkins said with a sigh, then turned his attention back to Marco. "I've already explained the second challenge. It's very simple; consume all of that boiled corn before sundown and you pass. Otherwise you will fail. Understood?"
Marco nodded and made his way over to the chair and sat down.
He looked towards the tables where the spectators were seated and saw Janna, now disguised in fancy mewman clothing that she'd nicked from several of the guests, talking to King River and having a good laugh, the latter not recognising her. Moon was in the middle of a conversation with another noble and didn't even bother with Janna. She'd probably seen through the disguise but was smart enough not to say anything.
While River was in the midst of a loud rant, Janna looked at Marco, then at the fire, and tapped her wrist a few times, signalling "It's time." He gave her a thumbs up and took a deep breath; he could probably hold it long enough for Sir Lorkins to deem the trial cancelled due to unusual circumstances and declare him victorious. Then he would finally be able to go home and tell Star, Zora and his parents the wonderful news.
Just as Sir Lorkins was about to declare the start of the second trial, he sniffed the air a few times.
"Wait. What's that smell?" he asked himself aloud. The rest of the mewmans followed suit and soon they were all sniffing the air.
Alright. I just have to hold my breath for a few seconds longer, thought Marco. He was still ashamed that he was going to claim victory by such dirty -or rather stinky- means, but all he could do now was play it cool and accept things for what they were.
"This smell!" Sir Lorkins exclaimed. "It smells... It smells... absolutely wonderful!" Lorkins suddenly shouted.
Huh!? Marco thought in disbelief as his eyes grew wide. Was that guy serious? He looked around himself and noticed that none of the mewmans was bothered by the smell. It was the exact opposite; they couldn't seem to get enough of it! Even Moon and River seemed to be enjoying it, as both of them had contempt smiles on their faces. Marco noticed the confused look on Janna's face as she too was holding her breath and looking all around herself in confusion and disbelief, unsure what was going on or why.
Didn't she say she threw a friggin stinkbomb into the fire? Marco wondered as the mewmans kept relishing in the smell that was being emitted from the fire.
Now curious, Marco decided to take a good whiff of the air for himself. He exhaled the air that he was holding captive in his lungs and inhaled a large breath of air through his nose.
Moments later everything went black.
"...Marco Diaz of Earth? Hello?" he heard a blurry voice call his name and felt someone lightly slapping his cheek.
Marco opened his eyes and saw Sir Lorkins kneeling over him, a worried frown on his face.
"Good, you're awake," said Lorkins with a deadpan voice and offered Marco a hand to help him get up on his feet. Once Marco was upright again, he rubbed his aching head and groaned.
"Ugh... What happened?" he asked Lorkins, who frowned sadly.
"Well, you-"
"You forfeited the second trial!" said Lady Maizewall cockily as she walked up to Marco with a vicious grin on her face.
"I did what now!?" Marco asked, alarmed and confused. Wait... I... how!?
"She's right," said Lorkins, seeming very unhappy. "By passing out on the stool, you deemed the challenge to be beyond your capabilities and thereby forfeited," Lorkins explained while Lady Meizewall flashed Marco a smug and victorious grin.
"But- what about the stench!?" said Marco frantically.
"Stench?" asked Lorkins, curious about what the earth boy was referring to. "If you mean that delightful odour that came and went, then I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish."
Of course they liked it... And here I was expecting something to actually make sense in this dimension...
Marco sighed.
I knew I shouldn't have agreed to Janna's plan, he scolded himself. He looked over at said girl, who was sitting next to a confused and saddened River and Moon, who were feeling bad for him. Janna flashed him a sheepish grin and he responded with a glare, then turned towards Sir Lorkins. The latter cleared his throat, and said aloud, "Marco Diaz has decided not to partake in the second challenge, meaning that he was not successful in completing it. We shall now move on to the third and final trial, which shall decide whether he is deemed worthy of our princess' hand in marriage and becoming the successor of the royal crown."
"Unless he decides to forfeit and save himself the humiliation," snickered Lady Maizewall and flashed another cocky grin at Marco. He could feel his blood boil.
I can't wait to have her eat her own words once I win this thing!
"I'm not forfeiting anything! This was just a fluke! I say bring it on!"
Sir Lorkins smiled.
"Very well then," he exclaimed. "Then we shall proceed to the final trial."
Marco smiled confidently. That's right! Marco Diaz is ready for anything they throw at-
"A battle to the death with Mewni's own champion swordsman, Sir Lotkame!" Lorkins exclaimed, and the crowd erupted into cheering while Marco's blood froze his veins.
Battle to the death!? he thought frantically and looked at Lady Maizewall, who grinned viciously at him.
"I hope you're ready to die, weakling..."
To be continued...
BONUS!
This is what the drafts of my chapters normally look like (some guy asked, I told him I'd make it public; take note that I am indeed 100% serious about this):
PLOT:
Start off with a mewman village being attacked by monsters lead by Toffee
Marco confronts Janna
Lame horse joke at gathering by some dumbass jester
Trial time! (The corn eating thing)
Marco fails trial. SIDE NOTE: Make it as anticlimactic as humanly possible
Final trial: a 1 on 1 duel with Mewni's greatest swordsman (that guy that Shining beat/mentioned)
