A/N: I always have a general idea for what I want to write about for each holiday that comes up, but then I end up writing the day that I post, so I'm sorry if there are some mistakes in here since I wrote this chapter today. This is also a lot longer than I was expecting it to be, so I split it up into two parts. I have some of the next part written, but I'm really struggling with writer's block, but I'm hoping to have it out sometime this week.


The days blend together. Dean's pretty sure there's a sedative in the IV or he's been hexed

or something. He struggles to stay awake, and he know it isn't just from blood loss. Dean's familiar with the drowsy exhaustion from blood loss. And this is different. He's constantly being pulled back to sleep. He knows it can't be right for him to keep sleeping on the cold barn floor with ease. The only things that wake him are the sharp bite of vampire fangs in his neck and the cold.

It's difficult to judge how much time has passed since Dean can't seem to stay awake longer than a few hours, but he knows time is passing. The first few days—or weeks?—are cold. Winter still clings on. But soon, there are more and more warmer days. Every once in a while, there will be another cold night, but that doesn't happen as frequently anymore. The last time it got really cold, Dean curled himself into a ball. He woke to someone turning him over. Charlotte had chuckled. "Well I'll be damned. You're still alive."

They move around a lot too. At least Dean thinks it's a lot. He doesn't think they've stayed in one place for more than a week. Sometimes it's Charlotte who roughly yanks him up off the floor in the dead of night. Sometimes it's the one with the southern accent. Sometimes it's one Dean's only seen when they feed on him. They always travel at night. They shove him into the trunk of the SUV. And no matter how hard he tries, Dean can never stay awake for the drive. He wakes up when the trunk opens. They tie him down somewhere new—always barns or warehouses or abandoned factories—but soon every new place feels just like the last one or the one before that, and Dean loses his place in time and space.

And Dean doesn't care. Not really. He knew this day was coming. He knew he'd go out like this. Well…he always imagined it'd be a bit more heroic than becoming a useless pile of flesh for vamps to feed on, but he really shouldn't be surprised. Sometimes, when they're feeding on him, Dean wishes it's the last time. That this will finally be the day he kicks the bucket. He's sick of barely just existing at this point. He wants it to be over. He thinks about trying to start a fight with them, so they kill him, but he can never summon up enough strength to even get a good hit in. His dad would be so disappointed.

But Dean can feel himself fading. He knows it won't be long now. He's lost weight, and he's sure he isn't even a good meal to the vamps anymore. He just wants to rest. He's so tired. He's always so tired. Even now, the tug of sleep pulls him back under.

The vampires are so loud that they wake Dean. It sounds like yelling, but… Dean rapidly blinks. They're screaming. He squints in the direction of the sound. The warehouse door is open, and the sun is shining directly into his eyes. It's too bright, and Dean can already feel a headache forming. There's more screaming and flashes of light, and Dean forces himself to sit up. He's dizzy, and everything moves out of focus for a few seconds. Dean weakly tugs on the chains, but all it does is rub the raw skin there, and he winces. Something is walking over to him. It's coming fast. Are the vampires finally going to kill him? Dean instinctively flinches when the thing reaches him.

Warm hands touch his face, gently holding him. The warmth from the hands spreads through Dean's body. It washes over his face and down into his chest, all the way to his toes. The warmth flashes so intensely through him that it almost hurts. And then it's over.

Dean nearly falls down at the startling clarity. His drowsiness is gone. He actually feels more well-rested than he has in a long, long time. The holes in his neck from the vampires' fangs don't ache—he didn't even realize how painful they'd gotten until the feeling is gone—and he immediately reaches a hand up to feel nothing but smooth skin. He's still blinking, trying to adjust to the light. He sees blue.

Blue eyes.

"Cas?" Dean asks. His voice is rough.

"Dean." Dean's never heard Cas sound so relieved. One of Cas' hands is suddenly around Dean's back, pulling him closer.

They're still sitting on the floor, and Dean has no choice but to fall into Cas' embrace. Dean places his arms around Cas. He's warm and strong, and he feels like home. It's only then that Dean notices the chains are gone. When did that happen?

"Dean," Cas says again breathlessly. He pushes away from Dean just far enough to look at his face. Dean's blood turns to ice. Cas looks scared. Dean has never seen him so spooked before. Then Cas is cupping his face again. His breathing is ragged. He rests his forehead on Dean's and whispers, "I thought I lost you."

And Dean doesn't know what to say. He's a little overwhelmed in all honesty. He's still reeling from feeling this awake, let alone seeing Cas this upset. So Dean keeps hugging him.

But Dean knows he needs to say something. He wonders what it would be like in Cas' shoes, and what the angel might want to hear. Then Dean realizes he doesn't need to. He's lost Cas enough to be all too familiar with the feeling of loss and emptiness.

Softly, Dean says, "I'm here, Cas. I'm here."

They stay together, silent, resting their foreheads together with their arms wrapped around each other.

The warehouse door bangs open.

"Cas!" Sam shouts. Dean hears his footsteps racing closer.

Cas pulls away, but keeps a hand tightly gripped on Dean's arm. "Sam! He's here."

Sam rushes over, and Dean stands up. Sam hugs Dean so hard that he nearly falls down again. Sam pulls away, but places a hand on Dean's shoulder. And Sam looks exhausted. He's pale with dark circles under his eyes. His hair is a little longer, and it's an unkempt mess.

"You okay?" Dean asks.

Sam gives Dean a look like Dean's lost his mind. "Am I okay? Dean, are you okay?"

Dean smiles reassuringly. "Yeah, Sammy, I'm fine. Cas healed me."

Sam frowns. And Dean knows that frown. It's Sam's "I'm not satisfied with that answer but I'll let it go for now" frown.

The door bangs open again, and Jack and Eileen run into the room. Both pairs of eyes light up when they see Dean. Then Jack is running over and pulling Dean into a hug that's even tighter than Sam's was.

Quietly, so no one else can hear, Jack says, "I missed you."

And Dean isn't sure why it's that that nearly sends him over the edge. Maybe it's the culmination of having three hugs in a row or the fact that Jack missed him even after all Dean's done to the kid, but Dean suddenly feels tears burning something fierce and knows he won't last if they keep this sentimental stuff up.

So Dean pulls away from Jack and says, "Well, I'm starving. Anywhere nearby where I can get a burger?"


Sam tells Dean he found the Impala not long after Dean went missing. Charlotte had left it at the suburb when Dean had been ambushed. As Dean drives, he only worries a little when Sam doesn't complain about how fast he's going. How long had he been gone? But Dean doesn't dwell too much on that. He knows it couldn't have been that long. Besides, his priority right now is finding a burger. He's starving. After he eats, he'll let everyone fill him in with what he's missed.

Despite being 2pm, the diner is nearly packed. There isn't a table, so the five of them squeeze into a booth. Sam and Eileen are on one side while Dean sits between Cas and Jack. Cas' leg is pressed into Dean's.

"What's up with the shitty decoration?" Dean asks. "Seems like a nice place. I don't get all the pastel tinsel."

"It's probably for Easter," Sam answers while reading his menu.

"Oh. Is that soon?"

Sam glances up. Dean can also feel Cas' eyes on him. Sam answers, "Uh, it's today actually."

Dean frowns. That can't be right. That seems too soon. It was just February. It has to be mid-March at the latest. It feels like mid-March. But if today's Easter, then that means Dean's been gone for…over two months.

He wasted two months.

"Dean," Cas says softly.

Dean looks at him. "Yeah?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just… Didn't feel like two months. It didn't seem that long."

Cas opens his mouth to reply, but he's interrupted by the waiter. Dean's relieved. He doesn't think he can handle any more emotion today.

Dean orders what he usually gets, and as they wait on their orders, Sam catches Dean up.

Sam knew something was wrong when Dean hadn't been answering his texts and calls, so he and Eileen cut their trip short. Dean feels horrible. He hadn't even thought about that. It didn't take Sam long to track down the Impala. But after that, it felt like a wild goose chase. These vamps knew what they were doing. They moved around frequently and managed to stay out of the way of cameras and populated areas. The only reason they had even found Dean was because the vampires never switched cars. They always drove that shitty SUV. Sam had his laptop wired to notify him if that car had been caught on a camera or anything, and he happened to get lucky last night when the vampires drove through a red light and had their license captured on a traffic camera. After that, Sam told Eileen, Jack, and Cas, and they all went after the SUV and eventually found Dean.

Their food comes, and Dean's grateful for the distraction. Well, he is until he takes the first bite of his burger. It's…not good. And it's not bad. It's not good in the sense where Dean knows he'll feel nauseous if he eats the whole thing. He was like this a little after Purgatory. Maybe he's jumping back into things too quickly.

But what does that mean? He can't handle eating his favorite food? His family just saved his life, and he can't even appreciate the meal he's eating?

He wishes the vampires had killed him.

Cas places a hand on Dean's thigh, and Dean realizes he's just been staring at his burger. He sets it down and tries to give Cas an easy smile.

"Yeah?" Dean asks.

"Are you okay?" The concern in Cas' eyes makes him look older.

"Yeah, of course."

"Dean."

Dean huffs and grabs a fry. He stirs it in his ketchup. "I kinda just want to go home."

"Then let's go home." Cas looks across the table. "Sam?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Can we leave?"

Sam frowns in confusion, and Dean can tell he's about to ask why, but then something weird happens. Cas gives Sam this look, and Sam's features straighten out in understanding. Sam flicks his gaze to Dean then looks back at Cas and nods.

Sam answers, "Yeah. You guys can wait in the car while I pay."

"But I'm not done," Jack protests.

"We can get to-go boxes," Cas says.

"Oh, okay. Can I wait with Sam?"

"Yes, of course." Cas smiles at Jack before getting out of the booth.

Dean follows Cas outside. The cool, spring breeze is nice. It's also way quieter out here. That's also nice. Dean can feel Cas looking at him, but Cas doesn't say anything. Dean appreciates it.

The drive back is good. Being back in the Impala is familiar. And reliable. She drives like she always has, and Dean is happy to be reunited with her. It's also nice having Sam beside him. Sam falls asleep not even ten minutes into the drive. Once they get onto the highway, Dean feels himself fully relax. If he allows himself to stop thinking and just be in the moment, he can pretend today is like it always is. He's safe in his car with his little brother beside him. Cas is in the back and always meets his gaze when Dean looks at him in the mirror. This is home.