2: The Choir
Disclaimer: We don't own any Harry Potter characters, but we do own the lucky coat hanger.
Hermione, Ginny and Lily decided to join the school choir. This was unfortunately on the day of a concert, and they needed a toad between three to hold, so they borrowed Trevor off Neville. They took the Floo to London, to a very big Muggle concert hall. Hermione was slightly disconcerted that they would be holding toads and singing about magic in front of Muggles, but when she conveyed these views to Professor Flitwick, the conductor, he said not to worry.
So they were at the hall, and everyone had to get into the lift. Unlike the lift that Mr. Weasley had recently installed at the Burrow, it was tiny, and everyone was squished like in a tin of sardines. In fact, it was exactly like in a tin of sardines, as everyone except Hermione, Lily and Ginny turned into sardines. This wasn't good, and there was much elbowing of toes and treading on of ribs. The ride lasted a minute, and everyone was looking forward to getting off. The doors slid aside and they saw Trevor.
'AAAAARGH!' screamed Professor Flitwick, who, as a sardine, was scared of frogs, toads or amphibians in general. He wasn't the only one: pandemonium and general chaos ensued. In the confusion, Ginny, who was hungry, ate Luna Lovegood.
'Hmm, delicious,' she said, licking her lips. Influenced by the Luna vibes going to her brain, she gasped, 'Oh no! She might be full of carrots – poisonous to the sardine! My Great-Aunt Gertrude died of a carrot overdose! Alack that I should follow in her footsteps so very early in my short life!'
Hermione managed to calm Ginny down by saying, 'This is too weird. Hey, what happened to Trevor?'
They all heard a massive scream, followed by disturbing smoochy muffled noises. Slightly nervously, they turned. At the back of the lift was a truly horrific sight.
'OH MY GOD!' they yelled. It was Lavender and Trevor, snogging. Lavender blushed, and ran off to the laughter of Hermione, Lily and Ginny.
'Funny,' said Lily.
'Yeah,' agreed the other two.
'Oh my God, look!' said Ginny, still influenced by the Luna vibes, 'We've left behind our lucky coat hanger! Without it the show will be fated to disaster! Oh no!'
Although the mysteries of who had screamed, who had stolen the coat hanger, and why Lavender was there had not yet been solved, Lily smiled mysteriously and disappeared with a pop.
'Where did she Apparate to?'
Lavender appeared. 'She went back to her own time zone. Nyah hah!'
'Oh no!' gasped Hermione, 'Let's summon a blood relative to fix this problem!'
She cast a complicated summoning spell and Harry Potter appeared. He was in a bad mood, because he had had to break up with Ginny.
'PISS OFF AND LEAVE ME THE BLOODY &#!& ALONE!' he yelled, and disappeared again.
'Bloody useless bastard,' muttered Ginny darkly, 'He dumped me!'
Lily appeared, looking slightly frazzled, but blissful.
'You guys are made for each other,' she sighed, and, not knowing she was fiddling with her own son's love life, she arranged a date for Ginny and Harry.
'What are you doing here? Lavender said you went back to your own time,' asked Hermione.
'You didn't believe that &#!&?#! COW, did you?' said Lily, snorting, and letting Hermione know where Harry got his temper from, 'Because that was some Death Eater in Polyjuice Potion that got sent back to my old time.'
'That was a Death Eater in Polyjuice Potion?'
'Yes,' said Lily, and she burst into flames.
'OK, what the&#!& is going on?' swore Hermione, giving into peer pressure, as everyone else was doing it. It was perfectly understandable, as she had just seen her best friend spontaneously combust, and was rather shell-shocked and dumbfounded. She composed herself, Summoned a fire extinguisher, and tried to put Lily out, but only ended up setting her skirt alight by accident.
'GINNY!' she yelled desperately, and her friend turned around from the corner, where she and Harry had been snogging, as they were back together.
'Geez, I leave you alone for two minutes…' she grumbled, but she put out both her friends. Lily and Hermione thanked her.
'Hey, Lily,' commented Ginny, 'I set you up with someone.'
'Oh, good!' said Lily brightly, 'That's great!'
'What about me?' complained Hermione.
'You can go out with Ron,' said Ginny, as if it was the obvious thing in the world, which, of course, it actually is.
'What? Ron? No!' said Hermione very quickly – too quickly.
'Whatever, Hermione,' said Lily, even though she didn't know who Ron was, 'Ginny, who's my date?'
'Professor Flitwick,' said Ginny, grinning.
'WHAT?' screeched Lily.
'Or would you prefer Snape?'
'If it has to be a teacher, I'd rather it be Slu–'
'Don't even go there,' interrupted Luna, rolling her eyes. The other three looked at her, confused.
'Ginny ate you,' said Hermione.
'Your point?' replied Luna, raising an eyebrow. Hermione was still confused, but Ginny and Lily seemed to accept this as an answer, so she did too.
One of the sardines flapping about on the floor (they thought it might have been a third-year) suddenly suggested, in an irritated way, 'Let's actually leave the lift!'
'No,' said Hermione, Luna, Ginny and Lily. Then Lavender appeared, holding the coat hanger, and turned everyone back into humans.
'It's time to go on!' said Professor Flitwick, holding his arm out to Lily, who declined.
So the Hogwarts School Choir went on and sang, with Lavender waving at them, with the coat hanger, from the audience. Everyone muffed up the singing and Professor Flitwick yelled at them.
This is making fun of the school choir in the Harry Potter movies, by the way, if you didn't get it. Woot. Also Harry/Ginny getting back together. Also, it's just weird.
Coming up next time:
Shameless product placement!
A lead on what has happened to Snape!
The three heroines become four!
And just what is going on with Professor Vector and Professor Slughorn?
This is still brought to you by Hepsa&Larka Incorporated, but we have an affiliate: Lamia. So it's all three of us. Yes. Although she doesn't want to admit being connected to this story, she did help write it, so hah.
