10: The Last Day Of The Summer Holidays

This chapter is short, and random, but we needed a bridge between later, better chapters.


It was the last day of the summer holidays. The four heroines were round at the Burrow, freaking out because of it being the last day of the summer holidays. Not only was this bad simply from a 'Oh-no-we-have-to-go-back-to-school' point of view, but none of them, not even Hermione, had done their holiday homework.

"NOOO!" yelled Hermione. "NOW I'M GOING TO FAIL MY NEWTS! ARGH!"

"ME TOO!" screamed Lily, and they clutched each other and yelled some more.

"Calm down, guys, it's all cool," said a smooth, slimy voice, cutting in on their ramblings. It was Ginny, in all her slimy glory.

"Why are you so slimy sounding?" asked Luna.

"I don't know. Yesterday evening, met this weird child, and got all covered in random bugs that almost made me break up with Harry! And now I sound all slimy… and cool.

"OK. That's weird," said Hermione. "Anyway, what are we going to do about our homework?"

Suddenly Luna let out a huge scream, practically deafening the others. She, while rifling through her trunk, which was at the Burrow as they were all sleeping over, had realised that the little homework she'd done was on fire.

"NO!" she yelled. "I want my daddy!"

She Apparated home. Alarmed, the other three followed her, and ran upstairs to her room to find her lying on the floor, unconscious, with the culprit standing over her.

"Slughorn!" gasped Ginny, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You knocked out Luna!"

"She was like that when I got here! It was Grubby-Pank and Umbridge!"

"VOLDEMORT IN DRAG!" everyone shouted, including Grubby-Pank, Umbridge and Slughorn, before coughing embarrassed.

"Anyway, Grubby-Pank, why did you knock me out?" asked Luna, who had woken up when she heard the words 'Voldemort in drag'.

"Oh, I needed your brains and soul for an experiment, but I decided to use the brains and souls of the bugs that were on Ginny instead."

"Yeah, now I sound normal, and… I want to snog Harry!" exclaimed Ginny. Lily and Hermione rolled their eyes at each other and decided to check if this was true using their magic-joint-telepathic-powers™, and when they tried it, they saw that it wasn't really Ginny at all, but McGonagall in disguise as her.

When she realised that they had found this out, she switched her costume into a cowgirl costume and started doing the Cotton-Eyed-Joe dance with Voldemort in drag. Then Luna's dad came in and turned off the music because he couldn't concentrate on writing the next article for the Quibbler (The Phenomenon of Duck Animagi), so Voldemort in drag and McGonagall Disapparated, arriving in the room where Luna's dad was working, and danced there.

Luna, Lily and Hermione had left by then, because they needed to find the real Ginny, so they went to the Room of Requirement, because its cool, wished to find Ginny, and a door appeared. Ginny was there, in a McGonagall costume, reading Harry/Ginny fics on fanfiction on her laptop.

"Isn't this so sweet?" said Ginny, gesturing them over to see a fic filled with disgustingly cliché sappy purple prose.

"No," said Luna, Lily and Hermione, "And take off that McGonagall costume!"

So Ginny took off the McGonagall costume and started singing "Seventh year! Seventh year! Your final year! Sixth year! Sixth year! Nearly my final year!" to no particular tune. Luna, Lily and Hermione bound and gagged Ginny to shut her up, and were dragging her back to the train station when suddenly they found that they had appeared in a terrible place.

It was the land of tunelessness, which Ginny's head had been unexplainably linked to, which was why she was singing so tunelessly. Unfortunately, when you are in the land of tunelessness, anything tuneless sounds fine, which explains The Tweenies, The Fast Food Rockers, and Bob the Builder being on the radio. They then realised that they could use this to their advantage. They took bits of the land of tunelessness, to sell on the black market, and used their magic-joint-telepathic-powers™ to get back to England, and The Burrow.

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!' screamed Luna. 'WE SHOULD BE ON THE TRAIN!"

"Don't be silly!" said Lily. "It's the day before school starts!"

Hermione looked at Lily's watch.

"Crap, Lily, she's right. We should be!"

"Ummmmm… perhaps these bits of tunelessness will make them believe our excuses and not punish us?"

"No. Not happening."

"Crap."

Their lives and this story seemed DOOMED to DOOM, when suddenly Hermione realised she was reading Lily's watch upside-down, because she had forgotten her own. They looked around in confusion, and saw the moon in the sky.

"Huh?" said everyone.

"Oh wait, that makes sense, it is 03.01 after all," said Arthur Weasley, coming into the room, and then leaving again.

"Well, although we don't have to be at school, we should be sleeping," said Luna.

"Since when did you become such a sleeper, Luna?" asked Hermione, but she was interrupted by Ginny singing, still tunelessly "Oh, who cares? Who cares? Who cares who cares who cares?"

Hermione and Lily used their magic-joint-telepathic-powers™ to send her back to the land of tunelessness until school started. So the other three went to bed and Ginny spent the night singing 'Call On Me' and the Crazy Frog song.


Coming up next time:

The Jelly Is Good Crossover (it had to happen sometime)!

The return of the slugs!

Aaaaanddd… who is who again?

Hepsa and Larka