Key
Sentences/ words that are bold and in italics, are direct thoughts.
Random italic words in a sentence are emphasis.
"Italics with speech marks" signify that what is being said within the speech marks is some distance away.
Bold is Onomatopoeia.
"Bold, italic, and speech marks" signify telepathic speech.
A/N- Welcome, amazing readers! Warning: Mush.
The 'almost operatic voice' from Phlox near the beginning of the story, refers to the voice he said 'Optimism, Captain' in Broken Bow.
Disclaimer- I don't own them, but I could if someone would lend me the money. I'll even be nice and keep Trip, and let you have the rest. Any offers?
Chapter 3- Pregnant Polly
"'Dear Uncle Trip,'" Trip read from the data pad to his dinner companions as they gathered once more at Friday lunch time. "'This is the third one. Do you really like 'em? Even T'Pol? I got stuck on this one, so Auntie Lizzie wrote some more bits.'"
"We're looking forward to it," Malcolm said dryly, knowing what 'Auntie Lizzie' was capable of, while secretly wondering how far the relationship between Kerp and Polly was going to go. "What's the title?"
Trip went to the next page. "Pr… You know, maybe we should just not do this and…"
"No way, Commander. We- you- are reading this. That's an order."
Trip glanced at his most senior officer and nodded. Avoiding looking at T'Pol, he read the title: "Pregnant Polly."
"Congratulations!" Phlox said in his almost operatic voice, giving T'Pol a hug.
"I. Am. Not. Pregnant." T'Pol told him through clenched teeth.
"Right." Phlox removed his arms from the Vulcan and cleared his throat. "On with the story."
When Polly woke up, she realised Kerp was there, too. "Oh my," she said shrilly. "What have I done? Kerp is a Vulcan, I'm a human- people won't understand."
At that moment, the mighty Kerp awoke and stroked her ankle-length chocolate hair with his hand.
"Do not worry. We'll get through this. I love you, Polly, and I promise- nothing bad will happen. We'll get through this together, with our love. Oh Polly, I love you so much- you are so beautiful. Your eyes are the colour of pennies picked up from the dirt, your hair is glorious, and your teeth are good-'n'-white. I know you love me too, and we'll have lots and lots of babies with pointed ears- Kerp junior, Prince Kerp, Prince Kerp the second, Polly the second… It will be wonderful! Think about it, my love." (Is this mushed up enough? Auntie Lizzie said it needs mush.)
Trip paused while he wiped his eyes. "That was beautiful." He sniffed before carrying on, not noticing the rest of the groups' faces, T'Pol's included; bore expressions from being flabbergasted to ones of horror and disgust
Later that day, Polly began feeling an unusual sensation- she was dizzy, and very hungry and tired. Suddenly, without warning, her belly popped out 'til it was bigger than a house and she looked very, very FAT.
"I am pregnant!" She cried, before waddling her way to sickbay, just like that sow Auntie Lizzie said old Uncle Albert had on his farm.
As soon as P'Lox caught sight of her patient, she made her lie on a bio bed, which collapsed under the human's weight, and crashed through several decks before stopping in Engineering, right where Kerp was doing diagnostics.
"Polly? We're having a baby?"
After what Auntie Lizzie said would be lots of hard work, Polly gave birth to dodecahedruplets.
"Ouch." Trip commented.
"Isn't a dodecahedron a 3-D shape with 12 faces?" Malcolm questioned.
"Ouch." Trip said again. "Anyway…"
They named them good names, not Prince Kerp the second. There were six girls and seven boys: Hortense, Ermentrude, Argentina, Kunnigunda, Egburtina, and Cinderella. The boys were named: Dicken, Brazil, Moo Goo Gai Pan, Bruce, Winston, Montgomery, and Jenkins. (Why did Auntie Lizzie say these were good names?)
"He needs to work on his maths," commented Jon. "Six plus seven makes thirteen, not twelve, and I don't think there's such a thing as dodecahedruplets."
"He's nine." Trip protested.
"Carry on reading." T'Pol said quickly.
Trip scrolled down. "'To Be Continued…' I guess I'll see you next week." He stood up, still a bit angry in Sean's defence, and left the room. As soon as they judged he was out of earshot, his friends exploded.
"Hortense!" Shrieked Hoshi.
"Jenkins!" Travis laughed.
Malcolm gasped, trying to speak, but only managing to hiccup. By the time he managed to speak, everyone had calmed down. His cry of 'Moo Goo Gai Pan!' set them all off again.
"I'm sure Polly and Kerp had a perfectly good reason as to their choice of names." T'Pol insisted, before leaving their table.
The Captain snorted- "Egburtina!"
A/N- The end of another epic. Please let me know if I've got dodecahedron mixed up with another shape. Also, I'm not sure whether I spelt Moo Goo Gai Pan properly. It looks a bit weird.
