Chapter 113
Jack woke, cold and stiff on the floor and his eyes shot up to the cot next to him; Ana's shape was visible under the sheet and he sighed with semi- relief to see her still there, he'd had nightmares about her body being taken before he could save her. He wondered how long he'd been asleep, and a voice answered his question. "About four hours." Hanso stepped around the screen, smiling at Jack as he bent and offered his hand.
Jack took it, groaning a little as his stiff, aching muscles contracted as Hanso helped him to his feet, and he went immediately to Ana, feeling for her hand through the sheet. "How did you know what I was thinking?"
"I know a lot of things. I hear them, in the jungle, in the trees, in the wind." He smiled at him. "You could too."
Jack glanced up at him, his hand still clutching Ana's through the sheet; she was cold and stiff and he felt vaguely nauseous at her touch but he couldn't let go, he didn't want to. "I don't care about any of your sht. I just want her back. So let's go."
He hesitated himself before letting Ana's hand loose; finally he bent and kissed her softly through the sheet, then he turned his back and followed Hanso out of the ward into the courtyard. Locke was waiting for them outside; since his transition he loathed being inside, it was unnatural and strange and he just preferred being out in the open air, listening to the voices as they swirled around him whispering secrets in his ears. He smiled at Jack, then went to him and rested his hand on his shoulder, making Jack wince a little at the sensation. "I'm sorry about Ana, Jack."
Jack flinched away from Locke's hand, replying, "Me too. But I am going to fix her John, even if I couldn't do it for anyone else."
He brushed past him and stood waiting impatiently by the door to the Space room; as Hanso came near he pulled out his security badge, then hesitated as he held it over the lock. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He started to slide the card then paused again. "Do you know what the Butterfly Effect is, Jack?"
Jack was getting impatient and the last thing he wanted to hear was some pointless story but he knew he was going to anyway so he glared and said, "No."
"A butterfly flaps its wings in Central Park and in Hong Kong you get rain instead of sunshine." He smiled. "Everything you do affects everything else. If you go back and attempt to change Ana's death, there is no telling what the consequences may be." He leaned closer, looking concerned. "Everything happens for a reason, Jack, and the reason always finds a way. So my advice to you is change as little as possible; only keep her from getting killed, don't do anything else." He smiled, a chilly gleam in his eye. "Revenge can come later, Jack."
He nodded, solemnly. "Okay." Hanso slid the card and the lock popped open with a soft hiss as they entered the Universe, as the door shut the stars exploded across the room but Jack passed them by, heading straight for the Time Chamber and he shifted from foot to foot with growing impatience; he ached to hold her again, alive and smiling, and every second dragged on for an hour as Hanso finally slid the card through the lock and the room opened into the white glare. Jack didn't even bother to shield his eyes, he moved to the center of the room and waited again as Hanso and Locke opened the white walls and went into the control room.
He closed his eyes and imagined her, soft and supple against his body, her sweet arms around his neck and the ticking started, louder and faster until it was just a screaming whine and he was back in the jungle; it was dark and he was a little disoriented, he didn't know which way to run; finally he heard the long, drawn out howl, and he tried to remember which way he had gone after he heard it, and hoping desperately he was choosing the right direction he ran into the darkness.
He heard a shot and an agonized yelp, he tried to judge his direction again because he felt like he was going wrong, and he knew he only had a few minutes; choosing his best option he ran again until he could see the fire through the bushes and hear angry voices and just as he burst through the bushes Ana fired and Kate did, too, Sara screamed and fell and Ana, already bleeding and staggering, brought her gun around as Kate fired again, sending her sprawling into the dirt.
Jack screamed and ran to her, dropping to his knees; her eyes were open and as she rolled them to him she smiled, blood already seeping through her teeth. Her eyes lit up, weakly, and she moved her mouth but no sound came out, just a sucking, squelching noise from her chest, and she coughed a little, sending bloody drops spraying all over him; he leaned close, kissing her and holding her and he could hear her faint whisper, "Love...you...Jack..." She coughed one last time and the light in her eyes died as she sighed out her last breath.
He screamed at the sky, then forgetting Hanso's admonition he jumped up, pulling his gun on a shocked and horrified Kate, but before he could pull the trigger he was back in the chamber, the white light searing his eyes as he opened them furiously. He ran to the white walls covering the control room and he pounded on them, screaming. "It didn't work! Why the fuck didn't it work?"
Hanso glanced at Locke as they heard the pounding on the walls and Jack's muffles shrieks. "I guess it didn't work," Locke said dryly, and Hanso shook his head.
"No," he said, "Not this time." He smiled and Locke grinned back. "Time is a like a woman, John; she comes and goes as she pleases and she doesn't take kindly to interference in her affairs. Sending Jack back is dangerous, in the sense that he could change things, damage them, but in this case the ends are worth the means." He chuckled. "Every time I send him back he's going to hate Kate more and more, until he will kill her the first time he lays eyes on her."
Locke didn't smile; he wasn't concerned about hurting Kate, but something had been nagging at him ever since Hanso told Jack not to change anything but Ana's death; he cocked his head and said, "Why don't you just let him kill Kate, then. Why wait until the present?"
Hanso considered the question as Jack's hammering grew louder and more insistent. "Because that is not her time to die. If it was meant to be then it would have happened. Killing her in the past, now, would upset the present, and there is no telling in what way. Sawyer could have gone crazy at her death and killed all of us, so we would cease to exist instantaneously. Kate might be needed for something, and if we go back and take her out before she is needed for that something, then we have lost, too." he nodded. "Everything happens for a reason, John. If Kate was meant to be dead by now she would be." He glanced at the white walls as Jack kept up his merciless pounding. "Ana should be dead. It was her time. But we need Jack to be on our side, Locke, so we are playing God, just this once." He pressed a button and the walls slid open, revealing a blood-splattered Jack, his face twisted into fury as he screamed at them through the glass.
"Why didn't it work? I wanted it, you son of a bitch, so WHY DIDN'T IT WORK?" As Hanso came out of the door Jack hit him like a truck, knocking him into the glass with him arm across his throat. "I had to WATCH it, you bastard, and I was too late." All of the grief from the past hours crushed onto him as he remembered seeing the bullet slam into her chest, knocking her backwards, Kate's cold, steely gaze as she pulled the trigger, but worst of all, the worst thing of all, she had fired first. And she had swung the gun at Kate. He coudn't find it in himself to make a distinction; he still hated Kate with every molecule in his body.
If seeing the aftermath of Ana's death hadn't been bad enough, seeing it actaully happen was a million times worse and he was exhausted again, emotionally drained, but he kept his arm across Hanso's windpipe as he tried to croak, 'It's...not always perfect...Jack." He tried to draw air but Jack's elbow was pressing painfully into his windpipe, cutting off his oxygen.
Jack's eyes were crazy as he said, "How do I fix it?" He pushed his elbow down harder. "HOW?"
The world was hazing away and Hanso had enough; he put his hand around Jack's wrist and crushed his hand into a fist and Jack let go, shouting with pain as his wrist bones ground together, cracking ominously before Hanso let go. "You try again, Jack. And again, and again, if you're sure this is what you want."
Jack rubbed his wrist, gazing at Hanso with loathing. "Then I guess we try again."
-----
Sara returned from fruit gathetring to find Kate and Sawyer standing, heads together as they whispered quietly and Sawyer had his hand protectively over her stomach; they laughed together and he glanced up as Vincent came barrelling through the trees, barking and yipping excitedly.
Kate's face broke into a wide grin as Sara followed him with a bag slung over her shoulder, smiling herself at the picture Kate and Sawyer painted, smiling, happy, in love; it was beautiful to see and she was glad she was there, in the warm sunshine, basking in the warm love that filled the glade. "How'd the hunting go?"
Sara grinned proudly; she wasn't a very good climber but she had managed well enough; it made her feel useful, helpful and she liked the feeling. She had never had it with Jack, of course, and her husband now took care of everything at home; the only useful thing she had was her career and while it was satisfying none of those kids needed her. She handed the bag to Kate, grinning from ear to ear as she peeked inside. "Is that good?"
Kate laughed and closed the bag, holding it in one hand as she hugged Sara with the other. "It's great." She glanced down at Sara's hip, eyeing the bloodstains that ran almost to her knee. "How is it?"
She shrugged. "Fine. Not even a twinge." Her hand touched Kate's cheek, gently. "I can't believe he did that," she whispered, remembering the look in Jack's eyes as he pistol whipped Kate, "It wasn't your fault."
Kate smiled a little as Sara dropped her hand from her reddened cheek; Vincent bounced up onto her and she scratched his ears as she said, "Well, Jack wasn't himself." Vincent barked and moved his head to Sara, who smiled and scratched his ears too.
Sawyer stood apart from them, feeling a little left out; he was slowly getting used to Sara being around, not that he didn't like her, he loved her for Kate's sake, he was just so used to being alone with Kate that it was hard to adjust. He'd never been that social of a guy anyway, never much into groups because he never felt like he belonged; even on the Island he'd tried to fit in, for Kate, but he hadn't had much success and he kicked himself now, because he wanted to be a part of their little group and he didn't know how to go about it. It was like he had to wait for an invitation, even though he knew that was crazy; he wanted to know that they wanted him to join, that he wouldn't be unwelcome in their circle.
"No," Sara said softly, "He wasn't." Glancing up at the bright blue sky she added, "He really loves her."
Kate nodded, glancing at Sawyer and she had to stifle a grin at his insecurity; he obviously wanted to be included and she took pity on him. "James, what are you doing? Come get some fruit."
The smile that broke across his face was worth it; he beamed as he came to her, kissing her lightly on her freckled nose as she took out three mangoes, handing one to Sawyer, one to Sara and keeping the third for herself. She handed Sawyer her knife and he sliced his mango in half, then took Sara's and cut hers, grinning as he handed the knife back to Kate. "Thanks, sweetheart."
She raised her eyebrows as she looked at the knife and her own intact fruit; he was smirking slightly as she adopted his drawl and said, "Well, now, sweetcheeks, that wasn't very gentlemanly of you."
His heart skipped as she smirked back; God, she was beautiful; he didn't see how it could possibly be but with every second he looked at her she became more and more exquisite, more heavenly and he expected her to sprout wings and fly away at any second. Trying to calm his suddenly racing pulse he said, mimicking Kate, "Well, Sara went and got the fruit. What the heck did you do? You've been sitting here on your lazy rump letting everyone else do the work." He grinned, shaking his head in mock disappointment as he added, "Parasite."
She smacked him on the arm, laughing. "I don't sound like that."
He handed her half of his mango, looking contrite. "Truce, Freckles?" She eyed him for a second then took the half he was offering, smiling so sweetly he thought his heart was going to stop; as he was staring at her her hand snaked up to his and snatched the other half of the fruit out of his slack fingers. "Hey!"
She skipped back a few steps, glancing at a smiling Sara as he advanced on her, growling playfully; the sound of his low, gently rolling voice made her shiver and her legs weakened for a second and Sawyer took the advantage, lunging at her as Vincent stepped nonchalantly between his legs, tripping him and sending him sprawling into the dirt.
Kate burst into laughter, as did Sara, Vincent sat on his haunches, tongue lolling out as he looked proud of himself and even Sawyer chuckled a little as he leapt back to his feet, advancing on a nervously giggling Kate again. He shook his head at her, smiling, "So, that's how it is, huh? Everyone against poor James."
Kate smirked as he moved slowly closer and she lifted his piece of mango and took a huge bite, slurping the pulp with gusto as he leapt again and she squealed and jumped aside as his fingers grazed her ribs. "You gotta be faster than that, James."
Sawyer grinned at Sara and winked. "Nimble little minx, ain't she?" Sara smiled back and edged behind Kate who was watching Sawyer so closely she didn't notice. Vincent barked a warning but Kate didn't hear it and she retreated again bumping into Sara, who suddenly grabbed her arms as Sawyer jumped on her, digging his fingers into her ribs and making her squeal; Sara let go as Kate started to flail around, trying to get loose from his devilish fingers but she was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe so intead she grabbed Sara's arm and pulled her into the fray.
Sara's introduction into the mess startled Sawyer a little, long enough for Kate to get away and he let her, panting at the exertion and the laughter and Kate doubled over a few feet away, keeping her eyes firmly on Sawyer and Sara. "Traitor," she grinned and Sara laughed as Sawyer put an arm around her shoulder, looking devilishly at Kate.
"Hell, Professor's the only one here who is on my side." he glanced at her and winked again. "I guess I got me a new girlfriend."
She knew he was kidding but jealousy flared in her, just a little, at his arm draped so casually over Sara's shoulder. She smirked and Sawyer noticed the tiny change in her; she was kidding, but not kidding when she said, "Thank God! I was wondering if I was gonna be able to get rid of you."
He lifted his arm from Sara and the moment was gone; Kate relaxed as he motioned to her hand and she rolled her eyes at herself, smirking as she handed Sawyer the piece of mango she had squished in her fist. He eyed it then gave her a comically disgusted look. "Fresh squeezed. Awww, honey, you shouldn't have."
She shrugged, throwing off the 'compliment'. "I do what I can."
Sawyer rolled his eyes and dropped the pulpy mess, wiping his hands on his jeans. "I guess I'll eat later." He cocked his eyebrows at Kate and she just rolled her eyes at him again, then looked up at the sky; the sun was high overhead and she grimaced at the late start they were getting. He wanted to live, he wanted to be a part of their lives and Kate's acknowledgement of her own fears had soothed his, made them unimportant; now she was in a hurry to be done with it so they could go on with their lives and be together. Dread still weighted her down she knew that what happened from now on would be what was meant to happen; if the worst happened and Sawyer did die she would know that he had fought it, that he had tried to live for her and their son, and while his death would still be unbearable at least it would be struggling, not giving in, giving up.
"So where are we going, Magellan?" She remembered the last time she had said that, just a few weeks ago; was it really only that long? It felt like a lifetime ago, and she supposed it was, because her life wasn't the same one she had been living then. She was a new Kate, a different Kate, and she liked this one.
Sawyer remembered it too and his face softened as he smiled at her, he said his lines as he pointed. "That way."
Her heart thudded at the words and she went to him as she sighed softly. "Good choice. That's back to the beach." Her body was soft as she leaned into him and he caressed her hair, stroking the curls pulling them straight as she sighed heavily. "Where are we going, James?"
He put both of his hands on either side of her face, pulling her away a little so he could see her eyes; they shone with love, and trust, and hope and he kissed her nose again before leaning his head against hers. "Into the belly of the beast, sweetheart. That's where we're going."
