Chapter 115
Hanso was beginning to feel panicky. "What the hell happened out there?"

Ana snarled, glaring at Jack. "He shot Kate, killed her." She still didn't believe it; she edged away from him as he gazed at her with crazy, blazing, soft eyes.

Hanso spun on Jack in a fury. "What did I tell you, Jack? I specifically said save Ana only. That was not Kate's time to die, and you've fucked up royally, DOCTOR!"

Jack's glare turned icy; he'd done them a favor by killing Kate. Wasn't that what they wanted? And Sawyer was dead too, wasn't that the whole point of them being here? "I told you I couldn't get to her in time. You told me to take control of the situation and I did."

"I also told you that revenge could wait. Don't you see? You've changed the past in a very drastic way; bringing Ana back would only have caused a tiny ripple, but killing someone entirely different will bring on a tidal wave, you stupid shit."

Ana glared at Jack; she hated him for doing what he did, but deep, deep down she loved him for it too. But it was unforgiveable; he knew about her past, and he should have thought about it before hauling off and killing Kate, especially knowing that she was pregnant, but as usual his impatience got the better of him. Something stirred in her memory and she shot her eyes to Locke as he smiled. Patience is a quality in which you are sorely lacking, Jack, and one day that will be your downfall.

"Hey," Jack snapped, "I thought you wanted Sawyer dead. Well, guess what? He is. He shot himself after I killed Kate." He looked almost proud of himself and Ana felt sick; she was glad that she was wrapped in a sheet and didn't have her gun because she'd shoot-

"Why am I in a sheet?" She seemed to notice it for the first time.

Jack's expression became soft as he looked at her; she was alive. He had done it, saved them both. She'd come around, eventually, Kate had been a shock to her, especially the baby, but to be honest he hadn't even thought about her being pregnant; his every thought and fiber had been concentrated on Ana. "Because you were dead, Ana."

It suddenly dawned on her, she had been dead; for some reason being wound in a white sheet made it a little more real, like she was still partly a ghost, stuck between what was and what had been, and she realized that she was stuck; she didn't want Kate to die that way but she didn't want to die either. Her urge to go back lessened just a little.

Jack noticed the change in her and he smiled to himself; he knew she'd come around. "I washed the blood from you myself, Ana." He moved a little closer and she didn't back away; his confidence grew and he said, "I wrapped you in that sheet. You were cold, so cold." His voice had dropped to a hypnotic whisper and Ana couldn't resist; she loved him, and she hated him.

She backed away a step, holding the sheet tightly around her. "Don't, Jack."

He stopped and glanced at Hanso and Locke; their heads were together and they didn't seem to be paying attention to them. He shifted his gaze back to Ana, looking at her longingly, lovingly. "Don't what, Ana?" Don't touch you?" His hand reached out and caressed her blood-flecked cheek and she didn't draw away but her eyes widened and her breath sharpened at his touch. "Don't kiss you?" She couldn't stop him, it was like she was frozen with disgust and horror at herself for letting him touch her but he was irresisitable; she sighed as his lips touched hers and she let go of the sheet, wrapping her arms around him.

He had never felt anything like it before; she was alive beneath his fingers, under his hands and lips and he had to restrain himself from ripping the sheet away from her smooth, taut body; he couldn't wait to get her alone and he groaned a little against her. "Oh, God, Ana," he moaned, "I love you."

She didn't reply because she didn't know what to say; she loved him but he revolted her, she hated him but he delighted her as his hands roamed over the sheet and her resolve wavered in the face of his onslaught of kisses and moans. "I love you, too, Jack."

He sighed and leaned against her. "I never thought I'd get to hear you say that again." His arms tightened around her as he said, "It was horrible. I kept going back but I was always too late...I'm sorry about Kate, but she would have killed you again and I couldn't take it."

She tensed at Kate's name and pulled away. "I know, Jack," she said, as she withdrew from his arms completely, "and I know you feel like you had to do it." She looked away, at Hanso and Locke still huddled together and sighed. "But I won't forget it." Her eyes were sad and soft as she gazed at him for a second, then she leaned in close and whispered, "I love you, Jack, and I know that you saved me, in more ways than one. But this," she waved her hand at the blood from Sawyer that covered her face and neck, "this is going to take a while, okay?"

It wasn't okay; he wanted her and he had done what he needed to get her and now she was pushing him away because of Kate? He flared angrily, though most of it was exhaustion as he said, "Well, what an ironic fucking twist, Ana. You used to get pissed off if I showed any concern for Kate, so now it's my turn to get pissed." He grabbed her wrist and jerked her close, his eyes shining crazily as he snarled, "Do you know what I went through today? I went through hell because heaven was in my grasp and I let it go, Ana, because I let you go." He let go of her wrist and shoved her away. "So forgive me if I don't give a shit about Kate. All I care about is you."

Ana rubbed her wrist where he had grabbed it; she was a little scared of him, of the intensity in his eyes. "Well isn't that an ironic twist," she said softly, "You used to care too much and now you don't care at all." She stepped closer to him, anger and hurt glowing in her eyes as she said, "I hate her, Jack, but what you did was beyond even me."

He sneered. "Oh, really? What exactly were you doing there, Ana? Because I saw you. You shot Sara and then you tried to shoot Kate but she beat you to it. That's why she killed you." Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him and he said, "So you wanna pass judgment, Ana? Because you started it. I just cleaned up your mess."

She hated him more in that moment than she had ever imagined possible; she hated him as much as she loved him. "I never would have done it if I'd known she was pregnant."

He nodded, then said, "But you didn't know and you would have pulled the trigger if you'd gotten the chance.You would be just as guilty as me."

She shook her head. "No, Jack, " she said softly, "Never as guilty as you."

They stared at each other for a moment; where had it gone wrong? Locke and Hanso broke up the huddle and joined them and Ana wished they'd get out of this room, the bright white light was hurting her eyes and she was getting a headache; fatigue was setting in and she was suddenly very, very tired. Locke smiled at her and said, "Are you sure Sawyer was dead? You saw him?"

Ana pointed to her blood-flecked face and grimaced. "I'm wearing him, John. Could we get out of here now?"

"In a minute, Ana. I know you must be tired." He put a hand on her and she recoiled from his touch; it made her fillings hurt and she tried to slide his hand away without being too rude. "What else did you see?"

Jack almost said something about Vincent turning into an angel but he thought better of it; they'd think he was nuts and to be honest he wasn't sure that he wasn't, he had almost convinced himself that the blinding white light that came out of Vincent's split skin was just the light from the time chamber as he re-entered it. "Nothing," he said. "Well, Sara."

Locke nodded. "Okay. I think she's harmless enough. We need to go get their bodies because Walt will want to see him."

Ana shrugged. They could go, Jack could take them. She was going to sleep, somewhere, wherever the hell they were. "Have fun. I'm taking a nap." She glared at them all, daring them to contradict her but none of them did, and she nodded. "Let me out then."

Hanso opened the door and she exited without looking at any of them, walking through the universe without pausing to look; her legs were weak and she was close to a breakdown as she stumbled out of the door into the courtyard and she breathed a sigh of relief; the air was light and warm and the courtyard was beautiful. Alvar paused next to her as she gazed up into the morning sky and said softly, "There are beds over there," he pointed to the medical station. "Go, sleep. Everything will be fine."

She wasn't comforted by his words and his presence revolted her but she nodded. "Okay." Jack and Locke came filing out behind them and Jack was looking even happier than he had before. He started forward to kiss Ana but she retreated and he stopped, a little hurt.

"We're going, Ana," he said, softly. "Will you be here when I get back?"

She didn't smile but her eyes were softer as she replied, "I suppose. I guess we'll just have to wait and see." She wondered what Locke had said to make him so happy all of a sudden but she had the feeling she wasn't going to like it.

He grinned. "Okay," he said, "I can live with that." He leaned forward and kissed her and she didn't stop him; after a few seconds he pulled away. "Duty calls." He turned and joined Locke and Hanso, and he waved gaily at her as they exited through the swinging doors.

She watched them go, then instead of going into the medical room, she plopped down on one of the benches, still wrapped in the sheet. The sun was sweet and warm and a strange chill still lingered in her bones; the courtyard was still and quiet except for the chatter of the birds in the trees and the soft, dainty breeze that stirred the leaves of the trees. It was so peaceful and calm that she was beginning to think that it all was a dream, she'd wake up curled up next to Jack somewhere in the jungle and all of this crazy, evil stuff would be behind them.

She dozed, the sun warming her as her the chill of death evaporated into the morning air.

-----

Sara was kneeling next to Kate's body when Sawyer leapt to his feet and grabbed Jack by the throat; she stared in horror as he took the gun from his hands then tossed him to the side. Sara was afraid he was going to shoot Jack; she didn't see it coming as he said, "Well, Jack, I hope this makes you happy."

She saw him swing the gun up to his head but she was denying it even as he pulled the trigger; she couldn't even scream, it was too much to draw in the air necessary to make a sound. Blood sprayed like a fine mist over all of them and she gagged, turning her body away from Kate just in time as she vomited, retching miserably as she heard Sawyer's body slump to the ground.

The world was shattered around her; the two people she had come to love most in the world, the two who lit up the day with their smiles and their jokes, and their love were gone, destroyed right in front of her. And it was Jack. Jack did it. The sight of him made her nauseous again and she looked away; a bright white light lit the glade brilliantly as Vincent convulsed and transformed into the angel, flapping his beautiful silvery wings until Jack and Ana disappeared.

She turned her attention to Kate; her eyes were open and she was staring blankly at the sky as blood streaked from her mouth; Sara cried as she realized Kate's hands were still gripped around her stomach, bloody and raw, still trying to protect the baby boy she'd never have. She left her hands in place then closed her eyes gently, bowing her head as she did, crying softly.

Sara, open your eyes.

The clearing was still ablaze with with white light and she squinted as she looked into the face of heaven; Vincent the Angel was hovering before her, smiling brilliantly, so brilliantly that she couldn't keep her eyes on him as they began to water even more. "Vincent?"

I have to go now, Sara. He smiled again, filling her heart with hope and she could suddenly see him, clearly, and he was everything in the world, in the universe that was good; he was choclate ice cream and cotton candy, he was a cool mountain lake on a hot September day and a warm cozy fire on a cold autumn night, he was Kate and he was James...and little baby Joshua. She smiled and held her face to him as she basked in the benevolence and graciousness that radiated from his silver light. But before I go I have a gift for you.

She felt like she should be panicking but she couldn't; everything was good and she just let go, let the happiness hold her for a while bacause what waited outside of it was too horrible to contemplate. "A gift?"

Yes. He pulled out three of his silvery feathers and handed them to her; they felt like warm weights in her hand as she took them. Give these to Sawyer. He'll know what to do with them when the time comes.

"But Sawyer's dead." She couldn't bear to look at him, it was a horrible sight.

Dead? He chuckled as he started to fade and it was like music in her mind, it was like cool water on a parched, dry tongue. What is dead? It's all relative, Sara. He looked at her, kindly. I have to go. So here is your gift...

She was lifted into the air, suddenly and brilliant white light split her apart; SHE rose out of Sara's skin; a beautiful, softly glowing angel suspended in the air in surprise. "What?" She looked frantically around the glade as she was in the air, she felt strange, ethereal; her eyes fell on herself, crumpled in a heap on the ground next to Kate, a bullet hole in her side and her body soaked with blood; her eyes were open and staring. "WHAT?"

You are their angel now, Sara. My time is done, you are what they need. Tell them, if you want.

"But they're dead, Vincent." She was scared but deep inside she was calm and tranquil; it wasn't so bad, really.

Are they? He reached out one long, silvery finger and touched Sawyer's mangled corpse gently, and a mix of blue lightning and white light bathed the clearing in a spooky blue glow. Vincent was fading but his voice echoed in her head, The past must be set right before they can move on and the Foundation is the key. It must be as it was supposed to be. He was just a shimmering mist now and the clearing was getting dark again; as Vincent faded with a whisper Sara found herself in her body, whole and unhurt.

"What happened?" She nearly jumped out of her skin at Sawyer's harsh, ragged voice. "Where's Kate?"

She dared a glance at him and shivered; he looked dead, dark ringed eyes and pale, haggard skin but he was whole and alive. She couldn't tell him about Kate, though, she couldn't bear it but he saw her himself and he gasped, clutching at his gut as he heaved and crawled next to her.

"Oh, Jesus, Kate," he whispered, pulling her body onto his lap, holding her close and sobbing into her hair; her hands fell limply away from her stomach leaving red streaks down her jeans and the blood trickling from her mouth smeared across Sawyer's lips as he kissed her, sobbing and rocking her back and forth. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Sara couldn't bear anymore. "Sawyer," she said, and he looked up at her with an expression that froze her blood. She swallowed hard, holding his gaze as she said, "Listen to me. Vincent said we have to make it right, that we can make it right. We have to go to the Foundation."

He didn't look up. "I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm dead."

Her touch was soft and warm on his chilly shoulder and he suddenly wondered why he wasn't dead, he had shot himself, and he touched his head gently. No wound. "No, you're not, James." He looked up at the sound of Kate's voice and Sara was her for an instant as she said, "The Foundation has the answer, James. You can still change it."

His heart started beating again as she dissolved back into Sara, then he asked, coldly, "How the hell do you know?"

She smiled sweetly and she knew what to do; she began shifting and changing until the white light burst from her like white-hot sunbeams; Sawyer gasped and drew back, blinded by her brilliance. "What? I don't-"

I am dead, James. Kate is dead now but that can be remedied. Your path leads to the Foundation, and it is time you took it.

He looked horrified at the idea of leaving and he shook his head violently as he clutched Kate closer, like Sara was going to rip her from his arms. "No, I- I can't leave her here. Alone."

Sara dwindled back down into her body, her point made. It was weird but she didn't feel all that different, she was still Sara, Kate's friend and now her guardian. That was what she had been brought here for. She put her hand on his head, almost as if she were blessing him. "She won't be alone, Sawyer. I'll stay. You go find the way to save her."

He kissed Kate's still-warm lips again, then he set her down, gently, and rose to his feet. "You won't leave her alone?" She smiled softly at the pleading fear in his voice.

"I promise. The Foundation." She pointed in the direction he needed to go and he stared at Kate one last time before walking uncertainly towards the trees.

He stopped just as he got to the tree line and he turned back to Sara, who had seated herself on the ground next to Kate and was pulling her head gently into her lap. "Can't tell me anything else? No other helpful clues?"

Sara paused from her task and raised her eyes skyward. "Yes." She said, "Listen to what the Island has to tell you, see what it has to show you." Smiling warmly she added, "If all of this time you have been living with your eyes closed, James, now is the time to open them."