A strawhat's MOTHER!

Hi welcome to chapter 3. You're all probably wondering if I fell off the face of the earth or something after waiting this long, well to be honest I forgot I even did this story! You've been waiting 3 months so I won't hold you from it any longer. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own one piece. Except it.

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Going Merry...

A day had passed since the previous events on board the ship.

Zoro, Usopp and Nami have de-drugged (note: you think of a better word!) since their tote-party and were well... having issues with Mrs. D.

"YOU BITCH!" screamed Nami remembering she was bald "I WANT MY HAIR BACK AND I WANT IT NOW!"

"Very well" said the old woman calmly, which can only be a bad thing.

Poof

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Nami's hair was now grey, curly and worst of all (in Nami's eyes) had hair curlers everywhere

"MY HAIR IS LIKE... IS LIKE... YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

then she fell to her knees and cried.

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The bathroom...

Like Nami, Zoro was also having problems due to Mrs. D.

"Swords... Need... swords..." whimpered Zoro in the corner of the bathroom while in the fetal position "Katanas... daggers... those really cool looking ones from the middle ages... must... have... swords..."

Then in the corner of his eyes he saw three shining blades.

"SWORDS!" screamed the demented swordsman.

He ran to the swords put one in his mouth and started doing his sword attacks and such.

He was never so happy in his life until... "You! Zero or whatever your name is, I'm trying to clean up, so put down those plungers down and take that toilet brush out of your mouth!" said Mrs. D.

"You had to ruin my fantasy didn't you" said Zoro.

"If it means that you'll get that toilet brush out of your mouth than yes." Said Mrs. D

"Stupid old hag" mumbled Zoro under his breath.

"I heard that!" said Mrs. D "And just for that your grounded"

"Grounded oh man! I- wait a minute" said Zoro "Your not my mother, how can you ground me?"

"It doesn't matter how, the point is, your grounded now go to your room!" said Mrs. D

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Outside, 12pm...

Usopp was packing his things preparing to escape the ship.

"I'll escape the ship, steal another one and ride it back to my village" said Usopp talking to himself "I'll tell Kaya about all my stories so far and I'll live happily ever after in syrup village away from that evil woman. The perfect plan"

"STEAL!" screamed the insane hag known as Mrs. D.

"Ahhhh! You!" screamed Usopp as he pulled out his slingshot "Stay away from me!"

"How dare you!" said Mrs. D "Not only do you plan to abandon my little Lufkins, not only do you plan to steal someone else's ship, not only do you have a slingshot, but you're aiming it at a sweet old Lady"

"SWEET? YOU'RE NOT SWEET!" screamed Usopp "YOU'RE JUST ANNOYING!"

Mrs. D's eyes began to go red. Steam was coming out of her ears. Her teeth became fangs.

"What was that!" screamed Mrs. D.

"Uh-oh" whimpered Usopp "The first time in my life when I'm brave and I'm gonna die for it..."

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Kitchen...

Sanji was having the worst problems with Mrs. D.

Sanji was currently going through nicotine withdrawal and was starting to turn mean.

"Hey Sanji" said Luffy "I'm starved! What's for lunch?"

"NOTHING! NOTHING YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" screamed Sanji "Haven't been able to cook. To busy thinking about cigarettes. That Nicotine gum doesn't do anything! AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR MOTHER!"

"How dare you yell at my boy!" shouted Mrs. D "I'm going to punish you big time for this!"

"Look Mrs. D I don't care" said Sanji "After losing my dignity, my cigarettes and my nuts I just don't care. Maybe you could try stop being a bitch!"

Mrs. D looked shocked for a second and then said to Luffy "Deary, would you mind leaving the room for a second?"

As soon as Luffy left she pulled out a knife from her handbag.

"You've been the worst one of all chef!" said Mrs. D with a new and scary voice "You don't deserve to be on this ship! I'll take you out-"

Then suddenly there was a loud banging noise outside.

"I'll deal with you later!" said Mrs. D, then her voice turned back to normal "Oh deary me I wonder who that is?"

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Outside...

Everyone walked outside to find a pirate ship right up next to theirs. Four men jumped on board. One was a tall man with a scar under one eye, a red shirt and blue jeans.

"Greetings pirates of the Straw-hat crew" said the Man "I am Captain I hate stories were the main character's mother comes to visit and messes with everyone's lives! This is first mate always points out the obvious"

"I point out the obvious" said one of the pirates.

"This is second mate Jerry Seinfeld rip-off!" said the captain.

"And what's the deal with the author not putting Jerry Seinfeld on the disclaimer?" said the second pirate "does he wanna get sued or something?"

"And our Shipwright: pirate stereotype" said the captain.

The third pirate had two peg-legs, two eye patches, two hooks and four parrots on each shoulder.

"Say hi Pirate Stereotype" said the captain.

"Scurvy!" said the pirate as he took one step and fell to the ground.

"And we are the crew of uncreativeness!!" shouted all four at the same time.

"Why are you here?" asked Mrs. D.

"We're here for you!" said the captain as he pointed to Mrs. D.

To be continued...

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I hope you like the story so far! This time I'll try to post the next chapter as soon as possible! See ya!