The Straw-hat's Mother
Welcome everyone to the final chapter of the straw-hat's mother! I'm glad that everyone has enjoyed it so far. So with out further ado: THE STRAW-HAT'S MOTHER!
Disclaimer: I own one piece about as much as Zoro owns the field when battling Mihawk.
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"So you want me?" asked Mrs. D "Well bring it on! Author Author Sword Rain!"
A cloud formed above the evil pirates and it began to rain katanas.
"SWORDS!" screamed Zoro as he charged and grabbed three and began to hug them.
One sword went off target, came flying at Nami and tore her shirt off. Sanji nearly snapped his neck from the speed he went when he turned to Nami. "Look away or you die!" said Mrs. D as she pulled out a knife.
One sword hit Second Mate Jerry Seinfeld rip-off in the back and ripped out of his chest. "I... taste... blood..." said Jerry Seinfeld Rip-off "What's up with that? Thank you, goodnight!" Then he fell over dead.
"He's dead Sir!" said first mate points out the obvious.
"Well clearly!" said Captain I hate... Captain Hates Mothers (Give me a break! It's a long freaking name!)
"Author Author Black Hole!" shouted Mrs. D as a black hole formed underneath points out the obvious and sucked him up whole.
"Arr!" said Pirate Stereotype "The whole crew be in Davy Jones Locker by sunset! Best if I run before I to-"
"Not so fast!" said Mrs. D as she reached into her purse "Take this!" And she pulled out... another purse. She began to smash Pirate Stereotype over and over again. "Ouch!" shouted Pirate Stereotype "I be in pain!" Then Mrs. D opened up her second purse and sucked up Pirate Stereotype as though the purse was a vacuum, and then put it back into her first purse.
"You killed my crew!" said Captain Hates Mothers "So now I'll kill you!"
"Like hell you will!" said Luffy "No one attacks my mother! Gomu Gomu Blast!"
"That's it? Bah!" said Captain Hates Mothers "Bloat Bloat Shield!"
All of the sudden is shirt burst open and a huge amount of fat poured out and deflected Luffy's attack.
"Wait a minute" said Mrs. D "That power only comes from the Bloat Bloat Fruit!"
"That's right" said Captain Hates Mothers "What's your point?"
"But… my husband ate the bloat bloat fruit" said Mrs. D "We ate our devil fruits together… its how we met…" Then suddenly the two had tears in there eyes.
"Harold?" said Mrs. D. "Margarite?" said Captain Hates Mothers (Who from this point on will be known as Mr. D).
"I found you!" said the two as they ran up and hugged each other.
"Isn't that sweet?" said Nami.
Zoro looked around "Has anyone seen Usopp lately?" asked Zoro.
"Wow! I found my mother and father! What a day!" said Luffy.
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Later that day…
Mr & Mrs D were getting ready to leave.
"Are you really leaving?" asked Luffy.
"Yes we are lad" said Mr. D "Now that your mother amd I found each other again, we can go home and wait for you to come home"
"That's right" said Mrs. Luffy "And about your crew..." Zoro, Sanji and Nami rolled their eyes and prepared for another bitching session. "They are lovely people" said Mrs. D "Not the best in the world, but fine enough for your crew! Also Nami, I can see that you want your regular hair back, so here you go…"
POOF!
Nami's hair went back to its usual orange self. "Thank you Mrs. D" said Nami. "Your welcome" said Mrs. D "Take these as well" Mrs. D pulled out a hundred mammoth coats from her hand bag & gave them to Nami. "Oh" said Nami "Thank you…"
"You know Nami" said Mrs. D "You remind me of myself at a young age- HAROLD! TAKE THAT CIGARETTE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!" Mrs. D grabbed his cigarette out of his mouth. Really Harold!" said Mrs. D "Someday you'll kill yourself if you keep that up! Here you go Sanji!" Mrs. D gave Sanji the cigarette. "Why are you giving it to me?" asked Sanji. "Because frankly I don't really care if you live or die" said Mrs. D. "Good enough!" said Sanji as he grabbed the cigarette and let it poison his lungs.
"Goodbye Luffy" said Mrs. D "Promise that once you become king of the pirates that you'll come home to me!"
"I promise!" said Luffy "Bye!" Luffy sat there and watched as his parents sail away.
"Seriously, where is Usopp?" asked Zoro.
"Help me…" said a voice.
"Usopp? Where are you?" asked Nami.
"In here!" said a voice from one of the cannons "Let me out!"
"Let you out huh?" said Sanji with a smirk "Alright, I'll let you out…" Sanji grabbed his cigarette and used it to light the cannon.
"You should be out in about five seconds" said Sanji.
"Thanks Sanji, you're a real pal- AAAAAAAHH!" screamed Usopp as he blasted out of the cannon "YOU ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!". "I'm so glad that we don't have to deal with Luffy's Mother anymore" sighed Nami "Now everything is back to normal and-"
"Zoro!" said an old voice behind them "Where are you?"
"Mother!" said Zoro in shock as an old lady using a sword for a cane walked up to him.
"Where have you been?" said Zolo's mother "I got some new underwear for you! They're extra thick and camouflage stains! I hope you haven't been hanging with that girl Kuina again! She's a bad influence on you!"
"I'm so glad I'm an orphan…" said Nami.
The End
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I hope everyone enjoyed that! I'm aware that in the latest chapters of one piece Luffy finds out about his real dad, but I'm keeping this in anyway! If you didn't like it that's fine. But please don't flame me about it. And to quote some famous dude "Review this guy and you're officially cool!"
