Chapter 119
They were back in the glade where they had been when Kate vanished; they just reappeared, standing in the same positions and same places, like Jack's experiment had stopped time until it was put right; they were starting right where they had left off, only wiser. Much, much wiser. And Vincent was gone.

They all stared at each other for a second, then Kate smiled at Sawyer. "That was weird."

He grabbed her, kissing her with fierce passion, he was pressing against her so insistently that her back was bending, and he slid one of his hands up into her hair, pulling her back up and keeping her firmly in place.

He couldn't bear to have part of her not touching him; the faint chill of her cold, gray skin still lingered in his fingertips, reminding him of how close he had come to losing her- how he had lost her- and suddenly he needed her, to know that she wasn't just a shimmering hologram in the sunlight; he needed to know that she was real, substantial; that he could hold her, love her and she wouldn't vanish beneath his hands. "Kate," he whispered, and pulled on her hands a little, trying to lead her away into the jungle.

She balked, partly because of Sara, she didn't want to leave her alone without even Vincent after the horrible night they had; when they vanished from the glade it was like she lived the next few hours in fast-forward; the whole of the time between the glade and their appearance here had been compressed into a split second, yet she could remember every detail; their lovemaking in the jungle, his dream, his admission of his fears about the baby, everything was crystal clear. Just far-away, as if it hadn't actually happened just then, as if it were an old memory being presented as a new one; Kate didn't like it, and she didn't understand it.

She had a feeling Sawyer did; he was trembling against her like a leaf in the wind, far too emotional to just be Ana or Vincent; something had terrified him, was still, and she clutched him, tight. "What's wrong, James? What happened?"

He didn't answer; he couldn't, he couldn't bring himself to say the words because that might make them true and he couldn't live with it again. 'Nothin', Freckles."

Sara said, softly, "You were dead, Kate. Jack killed you, shot you trying to keep you from shooting Ana." Sawyer was looking at her strangely and she said, "Being an angel transcends time, you know. You don't come back." Kate was gaping at her and she smiled, allowing a little white light to shine from her. "Yes, Kate, " she said, "I died in the glade...but death isn't what you think."

"I thought I was dead. Didn't you just say that?"

Sara smiled again. "Yes, of course, Kate. But something kept you tethered to life, just by the barest threads. It wasn't your time...if it was right for you to die then those threads would have broken, but they didn't. It was meant for this to happen, for what reason only He knows, but rest assured, Kate, that you still have a purpose here." She spoke low, into Kate's ear so only she could hear, "The purpose of a woman's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out." She smiled and whispered, "James 1:19." Leaning back again, she grinned at Kate's shocked, uneasy look. "I'm still just Sara, you know. Your friend. I still feel the same...I still have the same wants and desires." She stared hard at both of them, and said, "Ana does too. And for that reason she cannot be trusted."

Kate protested, "But she's an angel. Who better to trust?" She knew Ana had taken the bullet for her; she kept seeing it over and over, Ana stepped back from her, said 'Goodbye, Kate' and then was hit, falling against her; each time it ran through her mind she respected Ana a little more.

Sara paused, looking at Kate for a moment before she said softly, "Even angels can fall, Kate. It's why mortals are forgiven so easily." She reached out to Kate's stomach, and as she touched it, gently, she said, quietly, "Everyone deserves another chance."

Kate understood in a flash; her purpose was little baby Joshua. She was here for him, and Sawyer; they were the threads that had kept her tethered to life because they both deserved another chance and she was the only one who could give it to them. Hell, she supposed, Maybe I deserve one too. I give them their chance, they give me mine; a perfect symbiosis. She raised her gaze from her belly, where Sawyer's hand was resting, his head against her shoulder, and said, "Do you really think so?" It was hopeful.

Sawyer was only half-listening to them; he was absorbed in Kate, in the warmth of her skin, the pulse of life he could feel inside her and he had to restrain his hands from wandering too freely. She was leaning into him, pressing the length of her pliant, supple body to his and he was beginning to tremble with want and desire because she was alive and he couldn't wrap his mind around the surety of it; he was still afraid she'd vanish if he let himself really believe it, like this was just some cruel dream and any second he'd wake up with a cold, lifeless body in his arms instead of the living, breathing, vibrant woman he loved.

Sara was smiling at them, at Sawyer, trembling like a leaf in the wind; she could imagine how he felt, to have Kate alive again, and she said, "You two, go. Please. He's going to explode soon and I really don't want to see it."

Kate laughed, because it did feel like he was a ticking time bomb and the counter was getting very, very close to zero. With a quick, semi-embarassed grin at Sara, she took his hand and led him away into the jungle.

-----

Ana and Jack reappeared in the time chamber, breathless and excited; their last few hours together had flashed before them, compressed into a split second, but they were crystal clear, and real, so real that Ana still felt flushed and worn from their frantic lovemaking in the jungle after they had left the clearing, intending to return to the Foundation.

They had been cold, at first, and distant; but Jack was aching for her, and she for him, and it was inevitable. As they stopped to take a drink of water and catch their breath, Jack glanced aside at her and his heart stopped; she was bathed in sweat and it glistened in the moonlight, making her shine brightly and he was at her side before he realized it, kissing her and she didn't resist. She wanted him too, as much as she tried to deny it or hate him; she loved him and that was all that mattered, right then.

Hanso and Locke came out of the control room, and Hanso didn't look happy; he stomped up to Jack and snarled,"So, I guess he isn't dead after all, eh genius?"

Jack stiffened and retorted, "I guess not." He grabbed Ana's hand and started to lead her from the chamber, but Locke stood in front of the door, blocking the exit. "Move, Locke."

Locke simply crossed his arms and said, "Where do you think you're going, Jack? We aren't done yet, you know. You have some business to attend to, right?" He glanced at Ana, who was looking at Jack with a little apprehension.

Jack glared at Locke; he didn't want Ana to know what he was planning, he didn't think she'd understand, at least, not now. After she adjusted to the new him and the power that he possessed she'd come around and he would tell her the truth, but until then he didn't want her to know, it would be too easy to lose her again. "Yes, Locke, I do, but we can take care of that later." He shifted his impatient, angry gaze at Hanso, "Isn't that right, Alvar? Patience is the key, right?"

Hanso grinned, nodding at him; Jack was coming willingly, and that was best; if he had to wait a few more hours, fine, as long as Jack was happy he would be easier to control. And they needed Jack, still, since Sawyer was apparently still alive. "That's right, Jack." Locke frowned at that; he expected Hanso to back him up. "Now, you and Ana go, spend some time together. But I expect you back, ready to go on at dusk. Is that a deal?"

Jack grinned, nodding, he had the whole day to be with her, and he could tell she was excited too; her heart was beating rabbit-fast, pattering against her chest as she gazed up at him and he shoved past Locke, leading Ana out into the Universe.

This time she stopped to look at it; it was beautiful and serene from such a distance but she knew if she took a closer look at each individual planet she would see the same thing played out on each one; war, unrest, death, destruction. But beauty, love, faith, and goodness, too; such was the two-sided nature of the universe, the black and white of it, and she realized, as she gazed into a million suns, that the difference between good and evil wasn't so easily defineable; they were two sides of the same coin and in order for one to exist the other had to also; without evil there was no good. "It's all relative," she mumbled, as she stared into the swirling stars, and Jack kissed the back of her neck sending goosbumps down her arms and her heart started thudding faster.

She turned to him and his lips found hers as he trembled with excitement and...something else she coudn't put her finger on; the thought was driven away by the feel of his tongue touching hers, softly, then more demandingly and she gave in, gave up to him and they slid slowly to the floor as the Universe continued on without them.

-----

Kate led him on, quickly, her heart pounding in her ears as she felt the electric pulses from him through her fingers; she finally found what she was looking for, a small glade with a large, flat boulder on the shaded edges of it and a little trickling stream running beside it. His excitement and need was making hers build and she could imagine how he felt, seeing her die...and he had brought her back. The thought struck her hard; she hadn't really had time to adjust to the information, but now she got it, somehow he had come back to save her and it had worked. Love and devotion expanded in her chest, squeezing her lungs and making her breath ragged; as she stopped in the glade he jerked her to him, crushing his soft, hungry lips to hers and she kissed him back as his hands wound themselves in her hair, pulling her as deep as she could go.

He groaned softly, sighing with relief; she was still here, tangible and alive, and he ran his hands over her, suddenly mad to feel every inch of her, every molecule, to make sure; they slid up under her shirt, lifting it over her head and dropping it to the ground. Her fingers were already busy on his buttons but he held her hand away and pulled it over his head, dropping it next to hers; when their bodies came together and their bare skin touched his knees almost buckled beneath him and the sparks between them drove him wild; he swung her up and moved to the rock, stripping her shoes, socks and jeans off in one swift motion before lying her gently down on the sun dappled stone. He drew his own clothes off quickly, hating to not be touching some part of her because he felt cold every time he lost contact with her sweet, delicious skin.

Her eyes never left him as he stripped off his clothes and stood in the sunlight; it cast a deep golden aura around him, a hazy halo that disappeared when he went to her, kissing her stomach gently before moving over her and kissing her, laying his entire body against hers, making her shiver and tremble as much as he was. "Kate," he murmured, kissing her forehead, "Kate, I..." he couldn't find the words that he wanted to say, she was too intoxicating, too much for his mind to take in all at once and he couldn't think, he couldnt put together a coherent thought, so he just finished with a fierce whisper, "I love you."

Her whisper was ragged; she couldn't breathe and she was shaking so hard she could barely get the words out. "I love you. I love you, James."

It drove him wild and he bent his mouth to hers with animal passion and she returned his intensity with her own because she suddenly remembered, remembered what death had been, though she couldn't be sure if it was real it sent an involuntary chill through her. Sawyer's insistent mouth and hands drove the vision away, leaving just a slight chill in her bones; she moaned slightly as he slid his lips to her throat, resting them on the hollow he loved so much, where her skin was so soft and sweet and he could feel her pulse, her heart beatingand he tasted it now, flicking his tongue along with her galloping heart. Happiness exploded through him with such force and ferocity he thought he would burst from it and he remembered, too, what death had been and he realized that he didn't want to go there, not when he had this here; Kate, here and now. He was going to live, he wanted to, more than he had ever wanted anything else, and he hugged Kate to him, so tight and she groaned softly because she could feel him, feel his want to be with her, and Joshua, and her heart expanded with joy and love as they came together, sparks flying from his body as he paused, savoring her, her breath panting in his ear, her fingers on his shoulders digging them in as he started to move, oh so slowly; her legs twisted around his, drawing him closer.

He began moving with a little more rhythm, rocking against her as she moaned softly, then louder, then she let out a loud primal cry and shuddered, straining against him and he stopped, holding her close as she relaxed, then he slid his arm underneath her and with one smooth motion he flipped them over so that his back was againt the warm stone and Kate was above him, smiling at him with a bright glow in her eyes, her face flushed and grinning, alive and his. He sat up suddenly, his arms going around her waist and he pulled her to him, smiling as she gasped at the unexpected shift and she leaned against his chest as she hugged her close, and they stayed there for a minute until Kate started to move, almost without realizing it; her eyes were closed and all she could think about was the way he felt, how they fit; he was made for her, and she for him, and she whispered, "I'm sorry."

His eyes met hers and he panted, "Sorry for...what?"

She rocked over him again and he groaned, his hands gripping her waist hard enough to leave red marks as she said, sadly, "I don't know."

He gasped out something between chuckle and a moan,despite himself and it vibrated through her, making her arms prickle as he said, raggedly, "Oh, Kate, don't..." he couldn't finish because she started moving faster and everyhing else was forgotten in their wild, reckless abandon; they were animals, the stuff of the universe and when Kate finally cried out, tensing and clutching Sawyer's shoulders it was savage and untamed and it drove Sawyer over the edge, his wild fierce cry mixing with hers, shattering the silence of the jungle.

He crushed her to him, panting , her sweaty body slicking against his as she slowly relaxed, laying her forehead on his shoulder and wrapping her hands in his hair; she was still trembling and he stroked her back, lifting aside her heavy swatch of sweat-damp hair, tickling the back of her neck with his fingers until she giggled, "Stop that."

"Stop what? This?" His hand slid from her neck, trailing down her back and making her shiver; he reached her ribs then suddenly tickled her softly, just enough to elicit a soft squeal and a shift in her position and he stopped, afraid that she would leave, move away from him, break their contact, and he still had the irrational fear that if he left her touch, if they broke contact, even for a second, she would be gone; he knew it was silly but he couldn't help it; he clutched her to him, and said, "Don't go, Freckles."

His voice had a desperation to it, a scary edge and she put her hand under his chin, drawing his eyes to hers; they met, blue and green , jungle and sky, and she said, softly, "Where would I go, Tex?"

His fingers dug into her, involuntarily and she grunted a little but didn't move; he looked so scared, so unsure, and he croaked, "You could...disappear." He felt silly even as he said it, but good, too, it was like drawing poison to get the fear out and he wondered how he could have lived his entire life without her, how he had survived.

She chuckled softly, her eyes still holding his and she said, "I'm real, James. I'm not going anywhere." She pulled away from him, out of his grasp before he could stop her; as her sweaty fingers slid through his she stood in the clearing, her body glistening in the sunlight, and she said, "Still here, James."

He stood and approached her, uncertainly, his heart in his throat as he touched her; she was real, tangible, substantial, and he sighed with relief, pulling her close, then sweeping her up again and sitting her back on the rock with him, cradling her in his lap; they were quiet for a few minutes, just the buzz of the insects to keep them company. Sawyer had never been more fulfilled in his life; he was with the woman he loved and she was carrying their son inside of her, and he could feel the life radiate from her, the joy that she was feeling, and he said, "I think we're both still dead, sweethheart, 'cause this seems like heaven."

She smiled and lifted his hand to hers, kissing his fingertips and she said, "No, James, I saw heaven. I was there, for a little while, waiting for you." She kissed his solemn lips and said, "I remember some of it, it's like a dream...very hazy and unreal, but real at the same time, you know?" He nodded; he remembered too but he wanted to hear her version first. "I could see you, from far away, I could see you holding me and then you..."she choked and couldn't say the words, "...I was waiting for you but you never came; then I couldn't see you anymore but I was in...I don't even know how to describe it...it was light, but soft, like a sunny day, and I could smell flowers, everywhere," she grinned a little, "like at the chapel. And it was warm, like I was being held by...by you, and I was happy, and content, but something wasn't right, I was lonely and I wanted to see you, so I...I don't know what I did, but I remember talking to you, do you remember that?"

"Yeah," he said, "You came to me and...I was quitting, Kate. I couldn't go on without you, I was dead already, just walking until I fell...and you gave me...life, enough to keep going."

"I tried to be with you always, James," she said, kissing him, and they forgot everything else for a few minutes as they her lips explored his, leisurely, then she pulled away and said, "I love ghost stories, you know. When my dad and I used to camp out he loved to tell them to me, just the two of us, by the campfire...those were some of my few happy times," she said, looking a little sad, he brushed hr hair tenderly from her eyes as she continued, "Anyway, I loved the ghost stories about the ocean the best...the ocean scares me, more than is normal," she paused waiting for a smart remark but none came, smiling slightly to herself she continued, "It's so big and open." She glanced aside at him, saying dryly, "Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide."

He grinned, "I can see how you would find that scary."

"Yeah, so my favorite ghost stories were the 'ghost ship' ones, like The Flying Dutchman. You know that one?"

He shook his head, entranced by her voice and her beauty as she tilted her head quizzically at him, and he said, clearing his throat a little, "Can't say I do, Freckles. Why don't you tell me?" Anything to keep her talking, smiling, with him; he didn't want to ever end the way they were; they could just build a hut, wear some skins, anything to keep it like it was now, to avoid what was ahead, the struggle they had to face.

"Okay," she said, grinning, "but the details are a little fuzzy. I haven't needed ghost stories to scare me for a long time."

He grinned back. "This makes a nice switch then huh?"

"Yeah." Her eyes were shining and she said, in her spookiest voice, "So, it was back in the 1600's, and Captain...I can't remember his name...the captain was bringing the Dutchman home from a lucrative trading expedition and they were rounding the Cape of Good Hope, in Africa, finally on their way home to Holland. He was in a hurry, he was itching to sell his goods and reap in the huge reward, and he was so engrossed in his daydreams about spending his riches that he failed to notice the storm clouds rounding the cape before him; by the time they were spotted it was too late, and he cursed God for sending him such foul luck. God respoded by making the storm worse and the captain shouted to heaven, 'I WILL round this cape, even if I have to keep sailing 'til doomsday!'"

Sawyer broke in, chuckling. "That wasn't a good idea, was it?" He just wanted to see her eyes crinkle up when she smiled back at him.

"No, it wasn't. The ship ran aground on the rocky waters around the cape and sank, but the curse held, and now during any terrible storm on the Cape you can see the Flying Dutchman, battling the waves as the Captain screams at the heavens." She paused. "Sometimes she sails close enough for her crew to be seen, and they shout to the passing ships, but no one can hear what they are saying." She glanced sideways at him, hesitating before she said, "That was what it was like for me, Sawyer...I could see you, I could see what you were doing, how you were suffering, and I tried to tell you it was okay, that we were okay." His hand wandered to her belly, resting there as he caressed it gently. "I tried to come to you, so many times, to ease you."

"That wasn't what you said when you did come to me," he said softly, looking up into her eyes. "You said you needed me to bring you back. Both of you."

"And I did, " she replied, kissing him softly. "I needed you to bring us back, but you needed to know I was waiting for you."

He groaned and the kiss deepened, lingering for a long time as they enjoyed the feel of each other, the warmth and light that was finally pushing the cold, dead chill from their hearts with finality.