Chapter 121
Ana watched silently as they rolled Jack's t-shirt sleeve up above his shoulder and Hanso swabbed his arm down with alcohol before picking up the injector. "Okay, Jack," he said, gruffly, "this is it. There's no going back."
Jack glanced up at Ana, as if looking for approval; he didn't get it, but there wasn't discouragement there either, she was just...neutral. He sighed and nodded, looking away from her as he did; he wished she would just take his hand, smile, anything to comfort him, let him know that she was there, that she cared.
"Wait," she said, and Hanso paused, the needle poised over Jack's arm, she circled around to his other side, taking his hand and kissing him lightly. She'd seen the look in his eye, how alone he felt and she melted because hewas doing this for them, even if she didn't totally agree with it, the sentiment was still there, and he loved her, he wanted to be with her and she couldn't let him be alone. He smiled up at her with gratitude and love and she nodded at Hanso. "Okay."
Jack flinched as the needle shot into his arm, gripping Ana's hand and holding her eyes as Hanso withdrew the point, swabbing it again and slapping a band-aid over it. Ana noticed with amusement the green ogre and gray donkey characters that dotted the bandage, and she crinkled up her eyes as she grinned. "Cute."
Hanso nodded. "Yeah, the kids love 'em. We found them in some luggage not too long ago." Ana's smile faded and she looked away from it, feeling a little sick.
She turned her attention back to Jack; his eyes were closed and he looked a tiny bit green and she said, "You okay?"
He nodded, keeping his eyes closed. "Yeah. Just feels weird." He flicked his eyes open, looking at her concerned face. "You won't leave, will you?"
She shook her head. "No, Jack. I won't go anywhere." His hand took hers as he smiled wanly.
Hanso cleared his throat. "Sorry to interrupt your little love fest, but you've got about an hour until you go into the room, so..." he winked at them and Locke chuckled. "We'll draw the screen for you." They left, pulling the screen around them so they were alone, their laughter echoing madly through the ward.
Ana rolled her eyes and Jack shook his head; glancing at each other their eyes met and they both grinned; Jack leaned over and kissed her and she slid her hand around his neck, rubbing her palm over his bristly hair. He pulled her, hard, and she slid up onto the bed with him, over his lap, and their kiss deepened until she moaned softly, tugging at his shirt insistently.
He caught her hands, pulling them away. "No, Ana. Not yet. After...after I'm done." He shrugged, seeing her hurt look. "I just want to be careful." He bent his head and kissed her again, still holding her hands in his; she gave in and enjoyed the languid, slow embrace. How could she ever have thought about giving him up? No matter what he did she would love him, though she would also most certainly judge him, but would he be any different than her? She didn't think so, and it eased her guilt just a bit.
But not about Kate; that was eating her up. She couldn't stop it, she knew Jack was right, but the baby just ripped her to pieces. She knew it was wrong, so wrong for them but it had to be done if there was going to be a them; I am damned, she thought, I have to become what I hate in order to keep what I love.
After a while Jack began to twitch, spasming and shaking; once he stiffened and groaned aloud and Ana was scared into action; she started to go to look for Hanso but Jack grabbed her, holding her in place, a tormented, agonized look in his eyes. "Don't go."
She sat back on the edge of the bed, holding him as best she could; he would convulse violently, shaking so hard the bed would vibrate and she was terrified as she said, "Oh, no, Jack, I won't. I won't. I'm right here..." she tried to soothe his shuddering but it was neverending, just a constant barrage of quaking spasms and he began to moan. She was starting to panic, where the hell were Locke and Hanso?
To her relief they came in, Hanso looking at Jack and nodding. "Time to go into the room, Jack." He went to help Jack up on his shaking legs but Ana shoved him away, shouldering him herself and helping him as he staggered across the ward; no one noticed when her fingers slipped into his pocket, pulling out the badge Hanso had given him; she pocketed it, smiling gently to herself.
They eased Jack down on the floor; he was trembling now, and gazing at Ana with desperation as she stood at the exit. "Ana," he said, "Please don't leave." His voice was so shaky she could barely understand him, and she wanted to stay with him, hold him as long as she could; it hurt her to see him suffering.
She smiled and went to him, swiftly, kissing him gently. "I'll be right outside, Jack," she said, "I love you."
He relaxed and the despairing look left his eyes and he whispered back, "I love you too."
Hanso pulled the door shut, bolting it as Ana peered sadly and worriedly through the glass. "He'll be okay, right?"
Hanso touched her shoulder, gently. "Yes, Ana. He'll be fine." He looked kindly at the tired rings under her eyes. "Go get some sleep. He'll be out of it for a few hours, and trust me, you don't want to see it."
She nodded, eyeing the beds with desire; she was tired, and she sighed and plopped onto a cot, pulling the covers up over her and smilng at Hanso. "A few hours, right? You'll make sure I'm up before he wakes?" She wanted to be the first person he saw when he woke.
He nodded. "Of course." He and Locke exited, leaving her alone with a couple of nurses. She waited about ten minutes, then swung silently out of the cot and walked up to the door, holding her breath before peeking in the glass window at Jack.
He was sitting in the middle of the floor, his arms around his knees, obviously trying to suppress the trembling shakes as he spasmed, his body jerking; he glanced up at the door and saw Ana, looking in at him, and he smiled, sweetly and lovingly before leaping at the door and slamming into it with a screech of rage.
Ana leapt back, startled, her heart thudding as it ground back into motion; Jack's blood was smeared across the window where he had slammed his head into it hard enough to split his skin on the edge of the padding. She didn't dare look again; her hand over her mouth in horror she hurried fom the ward, into the courtyard.
Once outside she dropped her hand, dropping the act; it had been useful enough to get her out of the ward without arousing the nurse's suspicions, and now she had to get out of the Foundation itself.
She sidled up to the door that led to the outside, and she tried to peek through the crack but she couldn't see anything; taking a deep breath she tugged on it but it wouldn't open and she almost panicked before she noticed a cylindrical little button hidden in a recess next to the door, rolling her eyes at herself she pushed it and the door hissed open softly.
She pulled her gun and peeked around the corner; there was no one there. She bolted, running to the glass door to the outside, slinging it open and dashing for the cover of the dark jungle.
-----
"Kate," he croaked, and she stopped, freezing at the look in his eye; she turned slowly to find Ana with her gun held on her.
"Hi, Kate," she said, uncocking the gun slowly and putting back in her waistband. "I didn't know you were here." She smiled at Sawyer, who was tensed and ready to spring in front of Kate. "Stand down, soldier. I come in peace."
Kate had unfrozen, her initial shock gone, and she said, "What are you doing out here? Are you alone?"
Ana smiled, nodding. "Yeah." Glancing around she said, "Where's Sara?"
Kate glanced guiltily at Sawyer and he said, "She's not too far. we were just headed back her way."
Ana smiled. "Good. We need to talk." She shrugged. "I need to tell you some things." She seemed to grow a little anxious. "We need to hurry, though. They don't know I'm gone."
Kate's curiousity was eating her up, and she took Sawyer's hand, pulling him back to Sara as insistently as she had pulled him into the glade earlier; Ana trailed them nervously, glancing over her shoulder every few minutes. She felt guilty for what she was doing, basically turning on Jack, but it was the only way she could square herself with what was to come; she couldn't live with herself knowing she could have done something.
They reached Sara quickly, and Kate was happy to see her sitting quietly and staring at the stars; she smiled as they all came onto the path and she went to Ana, hugging her briefly before saying, "It's good to see you, Ana." She gleamed a little, brightly, and Ana smiled back.
"Thank you. I'm sorry to be abrupt but I'm in a hurry. I came to tell you that Jack is coming after you again, Kate, but it will be different this time. He's gone over, become one of Them."
Kate and Sara both gasped and Sawyer even looked a little sick. "What?"
Ana smiled. "There's more." She filled them in quickly on the Foundation, everything Jack had told her, everything she had seen and heard. They all sat dumbfounded until Sawyer said, "How many people are in there?"
Ana shrugged. "I don't know, a dozen maybe."
Sara said, "The animals are turning, too. I heard Hanso say it, when the horse was carrying Kate and Vincent."
Kate said, "Horse?" She glanced at Sawyer, a slight smile touching the corner of her mouth. "Black horse?"
Sara nodded. "Yeah. Big one, too. Beautiful."
Kate's eyes were on Sawyer as she said, softly, "Yeah, he is." She turned back to Ana; she had been watching her quietly, remembering the way Ana had touched her stomach, so reverently, eyes full of tears, and she said, "Why are you doing this, Ana? Why are you telling us this?"
Ana hesitated, then glanced at Kate's belly before meeting her eyes. "I think you know why, Kate," she said quietly. "I can't live with letting them kill the baby but I can't stop it either. The best I can do is level the playing field, start you off on even footing."
Sara said, "You can still come with us, Ana." She was afraid for her if she didn't; she sensed that Ana was straying, falling from grace for her passions and desires.
Ana stared at her for a minute, sadly, then said, "You loved him once. Wasn't there a time when you would have done anything for him?" Sara nodded, slowly, imperceptibly; she felt bad for Ana, caught between heaven and earth, bound to one and wanting the other. "I love Jack. I may be damned for it, but I love him, and I can't be anywhere else. He needs me...aren't I his guardian angel?"
"Yes," Sara said, suddenly snapping with anger, "and you are supposed to guide him to the right path, not guard him while he travels down the road to hell."
Ana flared back. "Good thing it isn't any of your business anymore, huh? Jack is not your concern."
White light flared from Sara briefly as she snapped, "But Kate is, and Jack is trying to, what? Hurt her? Kill her? You have to know I'm not going to let that happen again."
Ana flared too, a dark reddish black and she said, "Well, it doesn't look like it's going to be all up to you, Sara. I'm going to be there, and I won't let anything happen to him, either."
Kate and Sawyer watched them in fascinated horror as they glared at each other, Sara glowing bright golden white and Ana flaring a dark black/red; Sara retreated just a tad, this was not the time or place. "Thank you for the information, Ana. We appreciate your gesture, really, and I understand your position. I don't agree, but it is your choice. Just remember, what happens to Jack will be on your shoulders because you let him go astray when you could have helped him on the path." She paused then bright white light blasted through the glade, blinding them all for a second as she said, "Ezekiel 25:17, Ana, maybe you know it? The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. You're supposed to ward away the selfish and the evil, not help them destroy him!"
Ana burst forth with a rolling red and black cloud as she said, "As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him." She smiled triumphantly. "John 17:2."
Sara flapped her silver wings, blowing away Ana's cloud as she said, "He that toucheth pitch shall be defiled therewith; and he that hath fellowship with a proud man shall be like unto him."
Glaring, her eyes beginning to glow, Ana hissed, "But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer."
Sara flared brighter, her skin splitting and the white angel rising in righteous fury; her voice was different, deeper and majestic as she boomed, "And he shall besiege thee in all they gates, until thy high and fenced walls come down, wherein thou trustedst, throughout all thy land: and he shall besiege thee in all thy gates throughout all thy land, which the Lord thy God hath given thee. Deuteronomy 28:52."
Ana laughed and it was dark and bitter. "I know my Deuteronomy too, Sweetheart. And he shall say, Where are their gods, their rock in whom they trusted? 28:37."
The angel dwindled back into Sara's body, sighing and staring sadly at the red-eyed, shadowed Ana, and she said, softly, "For as the father hath life in himself; so hath he given to the son to have life in himself. John 5:26. Ana, think about what you are doing."
Sawyer had his arms wrapped around Kate as they gaped in dread and awe at the two angels; his hand slid to her stomach as Sara quoted the last line and he glanced at Ana to see if it had any effect.
She was staring at Kate, sadly, her hand flat on her own stomach as she said, "For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning. Psalms 30:5." She burst a bright, flaming red as she said, "I'd get over it." Regret crossed her face as she looked at Kate again. "It's too bad."
Kate was still in semi-shock and she just mumbled, "What's that?"
Ana smiled, the crimson light fading from her as she said, "If we had met a different place, different circumstances, I think we could have been friends. I always admired you, Kate, if nothing else." She glanced around at them all once more. "Goodbye."
She vanished into the jungle and the clearing fell dark with only Sara's light left to show them the way.
