Chapter 123
They were on their way long before the sun rose over the trees, on their way back over the mountain; they had decided that finding a place to set up a headquarters of sorts would be best, someplace far from the Foundation. Kate said it before she even thought. "The Chapel." It made sense, she had always felt safe and right there and it was where she and Sawyer had been happiest. She nodded and said it again. "The Chapel."

"Chapel?" Sara had never been there and this was the first she had heard about it. "There's a chapel here?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah. On the other side of the mountain. It's just ruins, really, but there are four walls and most of a roof."

Shaking her head impatiently Sara said, "The physical building doesn't matter, it's the spirit behind it. It could be two sticks in the ground as long as it has been blessed and consecrated." She eyed the two of them, smiling. "The best place you could possibly be. Nothing can touch you there, nothing bad."

Kate smiled happily, she loved it there and she knew Sawyer did too, though he wouldn't admit it they had come to terms with so much of themselves there, the Letter, the baptism, the baby; it was a sacred place to them no matter what its function was originally, it was blessed with their sprits and they were untouchable there. Suddenly she was in a hurry to go. "Let's go then. We can get to the base of the mountain by morning."

Sawyer eyed her carefully; she was tired, dark circles bagged under her eyes and he knew she needed to rest but he also knew the look in her eye and he didn't really have the will to fight her. "Fine," he said, glancing aside at Sara, "but if you get too tired, Kate, we stop. Understand?"

She didn't want to use her waning energy arguing either so she just nodded; the pull to get back to the little stone church was getting more insistent the longer they waited and she was close to running off and letting them try to catch up when Sawyer's hand closed hard around her wrist. "Don't try it, Freckles," he said, and she bit her lip, smiling as she turned her head. He knew her too well.

They set off slowly, Kate in the middle with Sara's arm linked on one side and Sawyer's arm around her waist on the other and she realized they were shielding her, keeping her tight in their grasp and pressing themselves around her. Her heart expanded with love for both of them, making her chest tight and she fought for air, trying not to let Sawyer hear her gasping or he'd make them stop and she didn't want to, she wanted to be at the chapel; suddenly it was imperative that they get there as soon as possible because the Devil was coming and that was the only place they would be safe. She shivered and Sawyer looked at her with concern. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, really...I was just thinking about Ana." His arm tightened around her just a little. "Why was her...why was she black and red, Sara? I mean I get the black, but why the red?"

Sara considered the question for a few seconds, then she said, "Color has always held great significance in the Bible, in the same manner as numbers, each one is assigned a meaning, a symbolism. White, of course, is the most common, and it's meaning is pretty straightforward, purity and holiness, righteousness."

Kate grinned and squeezed Sara's hand as she gleamed brightly for a second. "That's you for sure."

A frown crossed Sara's face as she continued. "Ana has fallen, and so white is no longer hers; black and red are the colors she carries into battle and their meanings are multitude. Black is the color of death, but also of affliction and bondage, sin and sorrow; does Ana fall willingly or is it a disease? An affliction with no cure? That is where the red comes in, for it is the color of battle and blood but also the color of love and atonement, reconciliation and wisdom; which is Ana's?"

They were all quiet, contemplating , and Kate suddenly said, "It's funny, kind of, that it's you and Ana. I mean, the Jack thing, you know? Like in TV shows when somebody has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other?"

"I think it's more like that Dickens guy, you know, the Angel of Jack past and the Devil of Jack present," Sawyer said, dryly, as Kate and Sara both looked up at him curiously; he rolled his eyes at their disbelief. "Why does everyone find it so hard to believe that I actually read? I'm beginnin' to feel a little insulted." He kissed Kate's forehead and turned to Sara. "I read somewhere that the eyes are the window to the soul. Does our eye color mean somethin'?" He was actually mildly curious about it, everything else seemed to have some sort of meaning around here; maybe this would give them a leg up on things.

Sara shrugged, grinning slyly. "That's a good theory, Sawyer. Try it out. Whose do you want to start with?"

Kate looked up at him with raised eyebrows and he smirked as he said, "Let's start with Jackass. After all, he ain't here so we can fully analyze the information without havin' to worry about hurtin' his feelings." He nodded at Kate wisely. "It's the only way to be sure, Kate."

His eyes were sparkling with devilish glee and she sighed and rolled her eyes at Sara, shrugging. "Okay, then," she said, "Jack." She met Sawyer's eyes again and said, teasingly, "They are brown, aren't they? A beautiful, dark, chocolate brown."

He shot her a look of disgust, making her break into giggles as Sara said, "Yes, his eyes are brown." She laughed a little herself at Sawyer's pissed off expression. "Brown symbolizes the Earth, order, and conventionality."

Sawyer snorted. "Sounds about right." He knew Kate was teasing about Jack, and he had started it, but it still rankled him; she didn't seem to appreciate the fact that Jack was trying to kill her, to kill him, too, if she could make jokes about it. She glanced up at him with affection and he realized that maybe she did grasp it, and the joking was just a way to keep it at bay, to push it aside like she always did, like he always did. "Ana's are brown too. I just thought that meant they were both full of shit."

Kate and Sara both started laughing, and Sara said, "Another good theory. But as with every other color, its meanings are many. It also means repentence, humility, and spiritual death, though those all lead back to the Earth. So, do your best analysis, Professor Sawyer, and tell me if that is Jack."

Kate watched him as he thought about it; his beard was getting out of hand and he needed another haircut, she made a mental note to stop briefly by the Eagle Hatch and pick up whatever supplies Ana hadn't already carried off. He was different, so different from the Sawyer that had landed on the Island with her; he even looked different, wild and animal, at ease with nature and the universe, and happy. He was a different man; the scared, hurt, angry little boy James had grown into the happy, fulfilled, loving man beside her and she marveled at the change and her role in it.

What she didn't realize was how much she had changed, too; the cold, desperate part of her was still there, it always would be, but it was softer, less edgy. She was content, she didn't want to run anymore, and she trusted someone; that was the most alien thing of all. She completely, totally, one hundred percent put her faith in Sawyer and the fact that she loved him enough to do that took her breath away. But there was more to it than that, something much deeper; she wasn't scared anymore. Frightened, yes, of the future and what it held for her, but not scared, not holding back because she was afraid to live, she embraced life with abandon and joy, insted of shying away with fear and terror. She was alive, really alive and it was how she was meant to be.

Sawyer had been pondering the question for a while, finally he said, "I hope for Jack's sake that it's referring to conventionality or humility." He winked at Kate. "What about mine?"

"Blue, right?" Sawyer and Kate nodded at the same time, making Sara chuckle. "Alright. Blue is the sky, the heavens. It is all good, Sawyer, divine relation," she smiled, "which would be me, by the way, faithfulness-"

Kate broke in. "And that better be me," she said, giving Sawyer a warning look as he squeezed her tight.

Sara continued, "Heavenly grace, truth...and heavenly love."

Sawyer looked at Kate innocently. "And who do you want that to be, sweetheart?"

Kate didn't answer him. "Sara," she said, glancing aside at her, "your eyes are blue, right?" She nodded and Kate looked back at Sawyer. "See? Maybe she's your heavenly love." She sighed and said, "I won't stand in your way, guys, if it's meant to be..."

She started to pull away, grinning, but Sawyer jerked her back, breathing into her ear. "Don't you dare, Freckles. Just wait until we see what your eyes have to say." He slid his arm possessively around her waist, holdng her tight, and she sighed dramatically.

"Fine, let's hear it then. Green means jealousy, doesn't it?" She gave him a playfully nasty look and he dug his fingers into her side warningly.

"Green is much nicer than that, Kate. It is the color of new life, eternal life. You see, you will live on through Joshua and his sons and daughters, and their sons and daughters, and their sons and daughters until the end of time, and so you will always be a part of life, of rebirth." They were quiet for a few seconds as Kate and Sawyer's eyes met and held, blue and green, heavenly love and new life, and he stopped suddenly, pulling her to him in a tight, desperately loving hug, then just as abruptly he let her go and kept walking, Kate following behind, a little stunned. They drew her back into their shell, wrapping around and protecting her from the world as a little bronze ball flickered through the jungle, landing on Sawyer's shoulder.

-----

They slept in the cot all night, surrounded by the screen; after a while Jack was ready to get up, to go, do something, the voices were speaking to him and he felt strong and alert but he didn't want to wake Ana, she needed to sleep and she was so peaceful, so angelic he couldn't bear to leave and so he stayed, pressed against her beneath the sheet.

It was too much and he began to press against her insistently, waking her with his lips on hers and his hands wandering; she strectched against him, languidly, still half-asleep but appreciating the effect it was having as he groaned and attacked her with even more fervor.

The bout of lovemaking sated him for a little while but he was soon itching to go again, to get outside; he eyed the soundly sleeping Ana, wondering...no, he wouldn't wake her up again. Not for a while anyway.

He reclined on his elbow beside her, just watching her breathe as she slept; she was beautiful, so dark, so nebulous and hazy with a shadowy reddish aura, making her appear to be made of bronze in the dim light of the ward. But she wasn't cold, she wasn't metal; he felt the heat of her body next to his and restrained himself from kissing her, waking her again; his energy was insatiable but hers wasn't. Not yet.

He watched her until just before dawn , listening to the Island as it spoke to him, different voices and different advice until his head was swimming and he couldn't wait any longer. "Ana," he whispered into her ear, "Ana, get up. We have to go."

She cracked her eyes and stretched, pressing agasint him as desire flickered through her half-open eyes; he was tempted but he pushed it aside. "We gotta go, get up, okay?"

Her hand snaked beneath the sheet; he may want to leave but she had other ideas. "Why we gotta go?" she mumbled sleepily.

Jack groaned as her hand found its target and sudenly he couldn't remember why they had to go. He couldn't remember where they were. He fell on her hungrily and afterwards they lay, sated and spent as Ana lazily ran her fingers over the thatch of hair on his chest, loving the crinkly feel of it on her palm.

Jack sighed and kissed her nose. "I'm sorry, Ana, but we have to go." He left her, reluctantly and started dressing, and she clambered out of the bed too, sighing as she slid on her clothes.

"Why? Why such a hurry?"

"I want it to be just us, Ana. I don't want Locke or Hanso there when I...when I do what I have to." He smiled at her, a little crazily and she backed away from the intensity of his gaze. "I hear the voices, Ana, and they tell me that Locke wants me dead after I kill Kate for them. That's all they want me for, or all he does, anyway. He's second in command now, but he's afraid of me, of the favor I'll get. We have to get there, just the two of us."

She stopped, staring at him as one last bit of reason worked its way into her brain; her shoulders sagged and she said, "Are you sure this is what you want, Jack? I love you no matter what, no matter where. Please don't do this."

He crossed to her and took her in his arms, hugging her so tightly she couldn't breathe as he whispered in her ear, "It's the only way, Ana. They own me, just as much as you own me; this is the only way I can have you now."

There was no resisiting him; he owned her, not the other way around. She had done what she could by warning the others; the rest was up to them. "Okay," she said, kissing him with fierce, reckless passion until Jack finally pulled away, grinning at her wickedly. "Stop that, you."

She smiled back, her eyes glowing faintly; Jack supposed it was the reflection of the dim lights of the ward, and he took her hand before dropping it to feel at his pockets with panic. "He took the card? That bast-"

Ana held it out to him, her face averted at he took it from her, grinning with admiration. "I'm a pretty good pick-pocket," she said, "But it helped that you were shaking like a leaf and half-gone."

His eyes narowed suspiciously and his grin faded. "Why'd you need the card? You go somewhere?"

"No, Jackass," she said, flaring in anger to disguise her sudden panic, why hadn't she slipped the card back in his pocket while he was still asleep? Because she was too wrapped up in him, too worried to think straight. "I was afraid Hanso would take it back so I snagged it before he could."

He seemed to buy it; his eyes relaxed and he smiled. "Sorry. I should have thought of that."

She shrugged, playing pissed off to the hilt until her heart could return to normal. "Whatever, Jack. Always jumping to the wrong conclusion. I guess some things never change."

She saw the hurt and she regretted it, but at least it had taken his mind off of the badge. "Kinda harsh for so early in the morning, Ana." he sighed and took her hand. "We had a wonderful night, didn't we?" She flushed a little as she nodded. "Let's forget the last few minutes happened. Start over, okay?"

She nodded. "Yes." That was fine with her.

He took her hand and they slipped out into the gloomy early morning light, together.