Chapter 124
Ana followed Jack through the darkened courtyard, letting him lead the way; she didn't want to arouse his suspicions again by seeming like she knew too much about the exits. He went straight to the double doors and pressed the little button, pushing through into the foyer and heading directly for the exit; as he reached it he stopped, taking Ana's hand and kissing her. "Ready?"
She nodded, taking a deep breath and as Jack swung the doors open they dashed across the lawns, stopping only after they reached the deep shadows of the trees. Jack checked behind them to see if they'd been spotted but it didn't seem so; the lawns were empty and quiet and Jack could hear the voices again, and he tried to block them out, they were too confusing as they swirled around in his head. But he was alert, awake, as he had never been; every pulse, every beat of the heart of the Island coursed through his veins and he could feel it, snapping through his nerves and senses. He held his arms out, feeling the electricity like raindrops on his skin.
Ana watched him in his rapture and it frightened her even as it intrigued her; what could make Jack feel so fantastic? He was insatiable and she could feel the lust and desire through his fingers, sparking the same feelings in her and she was surprised that they had made it out of the ward in the first place; she touched him, tenatively and jerked her fingers back as if she'd been burned, but then she touched him again, keeping her hand in place and she felt it too, the pulse and beat of the Island beneath her fingers, the power of it and she could see why it intoxicated Jack so. She took her hand away again, the sensation suddenly a little unpleasant and he lowered his arms, smiling. "Didn't like it?"
Her smile was hesitant as she said, "It was...intense." Her fingers were still burning, pulsing and it wasn't so bad now, it was actually kind of nice and she reached out and touched his face, hoping for the same sensation but instead a wave of love crashed over them and they were on each other in an instant, kissing and touching frantically until Jack pulled away, holding a flushed and panting Ana at arms length, grinning madly at her. "No," he gasped, flushed and shaky himself, "we can't now."
He was right, of course, they needed to get going if they were going to catch Kate. Ana was surprised at how her reluctance was fading; she was almost eager to get after them. The taste of power through Jack's skin had aroused her desire to a new level, though not because of the power itself, she didn't care about that, but the way it made him feel to her, they way it made him spark and thrum. It excited him and he excited her and so it was right. She eased back, still smiling slyly at him and said, "Your loss, Jack."
Desire was radiating from her in waves and he forced himself to move away from her as he said, "Don't remind me."
They stared at each other for a few minutes until Jack finally moved, walking deeper into the jungle, listening for Ana's steps behind him; relief poured through him as she caught up, sliding her hand in his and smiling. "So where are we going?"
"To find Kate."
She rolled her eyes at him. "And where would she be, Jack? Are we just going to wander the jungle until we happen to run into them?"
He just smiled. "No, of course not. The Island will tell me where to go eventually. I'll get a sign. Until then we do our best to stay away from Hanso and Locke." He smiled at her somewhat dubious expression. "Don't you want to spend the time with me?"
"Of course I do, Jack. I just want to spend it with you and a bed and a shower and air conditioning." She groaned. "And real food."
He laughed and slid his arm around her shoulder, hugging her close. "I love you, you know that?"
She nodded happily, all concerns for Kate, the baby, her soul gone as his power soaked into her, intoxicating her with love and desire. She wanted him to succeed, if only to increase what she was feeling, the elation and happy freedom she had never had before. "What happens...after, Jack?"
"Sawyer will be weakened. Kate is the source of his power, she's the heart of the beast. Stop the heart, the beast dies." She detected a hint of sorrow in his voice and she had a small tug of regret herself but she pushed it aside as Jack said, "We can finish him then. The war will be over. We'll be heroes."
She nodded, seeing the simplicity of it. "Heroes."
He stopped, turning her to face him. "Gods on Earth, Ana." He grinned, kissing her on the nose. "You'll be an all encompassing Goddess, loved by everyone and with power over them all."
She chuckled, leaning against him, dangerously, as she said, "I don't know if I want all of that." Her heart was quickening at the feel of his chest beneath her and she could feel him tensing, too; leaning back to look into his eyes she said, "I just want you, Jack."
Their resolve almost crumbled as they gazed at each other, so close, so tantalizing; the sun was coming up over the trees and it reflected in Ana's eyes, making them glow eerily red against her black irises and Jack backed away, the spell between them broken. For now. "We'd better keep moving." He paused, seeing the hurt look in her eyes and he cupped her chin, leaning his head against hers. "You have me, Ana. I'm yours."
A flock of birds burst through the trees overhead, flickering through the canopy as they squawked and screeched at each other, wheeling through the branches like little acrobats; just as suddenly they were gone, their racket echoing through the jungle until it faded away too. Jack turned to Ana, looking a little worried. "We should go." He grabbed her hand and they set off quickly through the jungle.
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Daylight had just broken as they cleared the tree line and reached the base of the mountain, and Kate was exhausted. She hadn't gotten sick since the first time, ironically enough, here on the mountain, and as the thought crossed her mind her stomach heaved disagreeably and she jerked her arm out of Sawyer's grasp, hurrying to the trees just in time.
Sara rushed to her side and Sawyer started forward uncertainly, just as unsure as the last time, but at least he knew one thing to do; he pulled out a water bottle and got it ready for her, chilled and carbonated. Kate's shoulders were shaking and he kicked himself for letting her push herself so hard; she liked to think she was invincible, superwoman, that nothing could touch her as long as she was with him but he was woefully aware of his own inadequacy when it came to protecting her. Guilt ate him up as she returned, leaning weakly on Sara's shoulder and ghastly white. He was so angry with himself he thrust the water bottle roughly into her hand, growling, "I told you you were too tired, Kate."
She gave him a grim smile, her eyes just dark holes in her pasty white face as she said, "I hope it feels good to be right, Sawyer."
"Yeah, it does," he snapped before he could stop; she looked like she was going to be sick again and he felt ill himself as she pushed Sara gently away, standing on her own, barely.
"Let's go, then," she said, giving him a wounded, angry look, "You know I hate it when you're right." She'd expected a little more sympathy, though deep down she knew what his problem was. It didn't make things better, because after all of this time, all that they had shared and been through they both chose the same old path, the same easy, down-trodden defense mechanism of lashing out in anger and saying things they didn't mean. When the hell were they ever going to really move ahead, really move away from square one? It only took one step, just one of them stopping it, saying enough before it escalated as it inevitably would; the path always led there.
Sawyer was obviously thinking the same thing; he reached out gently and pulled strand of sweaty hair from her face, wincing at the clammy feel of her skin as he said, softly, "What are you doing, Kate?"
She was trembling and pale and she leaned against him as he touched her, his arms enfolding her, holding her up. "I-I don't know." Her eyes rolled back in her head and she went limp in Sawyer's arms. Panic gripped him briefly but her eyelids fluttered and she smiled weakly before passing out again, and he shook his head as Sara helped him lower her gently to the ground.
Sawyer sat beside her, drawing her head into his lap and stroking the hair from her face; Sara handed him a water bottle and he pulled off his shirt, wetting the corner and sponging the clammy sweat from her face. It was his fault, he shouldn't have pushed her, he knew she was exhausted and weak; Sara squatted next to them, she could see the guilty misery on his face as he gazed at Kate and she couldn't bear it. She loved them both, Kate and Sawyer, and she knew what Sawyer was; his light was apparent to her, even if to no one else. "She's stubborn."
Sawyer glanced up at her and nodded then dropped his gaze back to Kate, whose color was coming back as she shifted and muttered, "You see that...horse..." she smiled and rolled over on her side and he sighed with relief to see that her unconciousness had slipped into sleep.
It was hot in the sun and even the trees didn't offer much relief; sweat was soaking through Kate's shirt and even in the early morning she had droplets rolling from her forehead and Sawyer lifted her, cradling her in his arms; the hatch wasn't far and he could carry her, he wanted to carry her. She was snoring softly and her breathing didn't change as he shook his head. "Stubborn doesn't begin to describe it, Professor," he said, grinning over Kate's sleeping body at Sara.
His mind wandered as they walked quietly up the path, and he wondered where Kotori was; he'd sent the little bird off with instructions to round up a few friendly animals and bring them to the Chapel. He made sure to include the horse, quietly, so Kate wouldn't hear, mainly because he wanted to see her face when she saw it; he could already picture her eyes shining with joy and love as she stroked it's silky black coat. He still didn't get exactly what the horse meant to her, but he had the idea that it was something similar to his boar, a release from guilt and an atonement of sorts; she'd been different since then, freer and willing and it hadn't escaped his attention.
They reached the hatch quickly since Sawyer didn't have to slow down purposely for Kate, and during her time on the island Sara had gotten pretty good at keeping up so they made good time. He carried the still-sleeping Kate into the Crater room; the bed he had dragged down for them was still there and he lay her on it gently, slipping her shoes off and covering her with the thin, cheap blanket. Her eyes fluttered open briefly and she smiled at him, mumbling something incoherently but he got the gist of it and he kissed her softly, before whispering, "Go back to sleep, baby. I'm not going anywhere."
Sara watched them for a second, almost feeling like an intruder as she often did, and it wasn't anything that they were doing in particular or on purpose; they were just so together that anything or anyone else around them was just unnecessary, an invader, and she cleared her throat, looking away from the tender scene as Kate's eyes closed again. "I'm gonna go take a shower," she said, quietly, and Sawyer smiled up without really seeing her before he dropped his eyes back to Kate.
As he watched her a new sense of responsibility dawned on him; he was supposed to take care of her, make sure that she took care of herself. She had avoided morning sickness for the most part until today and it was because she had pushed herself too hard and he should have stopped her. He knew he should have stopped her and he didn't and that was on him. He vowed to take more of a hand in things, to make her take it easier, and he was almost ready to pick her up and carry her to the chapel if it would ease her mind and make her feel safer.
His hand was on her belly unconciously, feeling for little Joshua, searching for the spark of life like he was afraid that his mother's insane actions might have taken their toll but no, he was there, the little blip of life that was a part of Kate, but not a part of her; a part of him but not completely him either. He smiled as Kate's eyes opened and she beamed faintly at the feel of his rough hand against her belly. "Do you feel him?" she whispered.
He nodded, his eyes suddenly blurry and he kissed her, softly, his lips just barely grazing her as he whispered back, "I'm sorry, Kate." Her eyes filled too and he added, "For waking you up." It was for so much more and they both knew it, more than their stupid little argument today, more than whatever dumb thing they would argue over tomorrow, it was for everything he had ever done, for outing her, for tricking her, for pushing her away, for ever leaving her in the first place. She understood it, as he held her, and he kissed her again before sitting back and shakily wagging his finger at her. "Go to sleep, Freckles. You're sleeping for two now."
She rolled her eyes, sleepily, and said, "Thanks for the advice, Dr. Spock." Her belly was still comfortably warm where his hand had been and she could feel him, too, the little life, and she was already dozing off as Sawyer said, "Dr. Spock? What the hell does Star Trek have to do with anything?"
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The animals began to gather in the shadows around the chapel all through the day and they were ready, this was what they had been preparing for since the last battle, which they had won, but still lost; they were prisoners of the Island, trapped and as creatures of nature they understood that it was unnatural, what had been done to them was abnormal and they longed to be freed from the slavery of it.
They knew, as animals instinctively do, what would happen, how it would end if the Island was destroyed and they welcomed it, and so they welcomed Sawyer, too, for they knew who he was. He was the Son.
So there was a chimp, reclining in the shade of a nearby mango tree, plucking and eating the fruit while he waited; a couple of foxes, sitting recessed in the bushes like statues, the only sign of life the flicking of their bottle-brush tails; a softly grunting boar that was busily rooting up the earth around the chapel, oblivious to the other animals gathering in the shadows; a gaggle of tree frogs, skreeking and croaking in a strangely muted chorus; a great white owl sat in the high branches of a tree, gazing down at the chapel with wide, unblinkingly pale eyes; birds of every shape and size flittered from branch to branch, twittering quietly in the early morning sun.
The glade fell silent as the horse trotted into the sunlight, the beams dappling on his glossy coat as he whinnied and snorted and trotted restlessly, majestically around the chapel, snorting and bellowing as he did. There was a brief silence and all of the animals melted into the jungle to keep their vigil as they waited for the Son to come home.
