Chapter 136
He could tell she was excited because she was up before dawn, prodding him awake with her foot while she hefted her pack onto her shoulders; he rolled up and opened one eye in the gray light, trying to focus as she pushed him again with the toe of her boot. "Get up, it's morning."

He flopped back down into the flowers with a groan and closed his eyes. "Do you see the sun anywhere, Freckles? It's not morning." He rolled back over, trying to ignore the insistent tapping on his legs as she nudged him again and again until he reached and grabbed her foot, twisting it lightly and making her hop on one foot to keep her balance. "Now quit it." He let her foot go and rolled back over, satisfied that she'd leave him alone.

Whump! He howled as her toe caught him squarely in the rear, hard, and he leapt to his feet, snarling as he rubbed the tender cheek. "Dammit, Kate! What the hell is wrong with you?"

She smiled sweetly, trying not to laugh at him, and said, "Good, you're up. Let's go."

He resisted the urge to choke her and snatched up his pack angrily instead, ignoring her triumphant look as they left the garden; he slung open the chapel door, looking out into the dark before calling out softly, "Sara?"

"We're here." Her voice floated out of the darkness and she materialized in front of them, shimmering gray and as the sky slowly lightened from black to gray they could see Ana on the edge of the clearing, grinning and looking slightly satisfied. "You ready? This early?"

Kate ignored Sawyer's disgusted look as she said, "I couldn't sleep. Excited, I guess." She glanced at Ana. "You two ready? Good. Now, we can either go back to the beach, which isn't far, and follow it to the camp, which will keep us out of the jungle for a while, or we can go south, which will lead us directly to camp, but we'll be in the jungle the entire time. What do you think, James?"

He was caught off-guard by her question, mainly because he'd only half been paying attention; the sun was cresting through the trees now, and Kate was glowing in the early morning mist, excitement radiating from her and he thought even with two angels beside her she was the more heavenly. "What?" he said, snapping his eyes into focus in time to see her roll her eyes at him, a little disappointed, and he said, without thinking, "The beach." He prayed silently that it was a valid answer because he honestly didn't know the question.

Ana called out across the glade, "I agree. I'm tired of the jungle."

Kate turned to Sara, who smiled and said, "There's a beach here?"

Laughing, Kate said, "I guess it's the beach then. I'm glad, I was getting kinda tired of the jungle too." Her smile faded. "But we have to go around the zoo, remember? The cliffs block the beach."

She looked so dejected, so disappointed that he couldn't stand it; he said, without thinking again, "We could go over the cliffs." Kate nodded, slowly, and he kicked himself for saying it out loud; there was no way they were going to get over those things; Kate maybe, but he sure as hell didn't want her climbing like that again, what if she fell, like last time? "Never mind, Freckles, forget I said it."

She stared to argue, because why shouldn't they go over them? They were easy enough to scale and maybe there was something on top of the cliffs; as she opened her mouth to say something she caught Sawyer's eyes and she closed her mouth, abruptly, because he was scared, she could see it, he was terrified and she gave in because she couldn't bear to see that look, she didn't want to be the cause of any worry for him when he already had so much on his shoulders. She hesitated, then smiled at him, touching his arm as she said, "Then we'll go around the zoo and then head to the beach."

She was rewarded with a huge smile of relief and he nodded, motioning around the clearing. "I hope you know which way to go."

She shook her head at him. "Don't you ever pay attention? To anything? Besides that?" He was grinning at her, eyebrows raised, and she pointed to the south, in Ana's general direction. "We'll go that way until we pass the zoo, then real sudden-like turn right."

"You don't have to be a smartass, Freckles." Inwardly he groaned, it was sure gonna be a fun trip with the damn girl's club.

His fears were confirmed as she smirked and did her southern drawl, "Works for you, don't it, Tex?"

"Well I guess that depends on what you mean by 'works', Freckles," he shot back as they headed in Ana's direction and dropped his voice so only Kate could hear. "And stop doin' that."

His throaty voice made her stomach lurch, pleasantly, and she lowered her voice too, as she said, "Doin' what?"

His arm snaked out and wrapped around her, drawing her close; everything else was forgotten because her husky, sexy voice was echoing in his head and he had to kiss her right then or he'd die. He stopped, bending his head to hers and brushing her lips, almost afraid she'd pull away. His nighttime fears were still fresh and he was relieved when she didn't; instead she slid her hands into his hair, returning his embrace with loving tenderness. He rested his head on her shoulder for a second, then nipped her shoulder as he said, "I guess you're right, Freckles. Bein' a smartass does work."

She laughed and replied, "You said it, Tex, ladies love the bad boys."

He kissed her neck and slid his lips up to her ear, whispering, "And I love a bad girl."

Her tone was only half-joking as she said, "Yeah, you do." She pulled his eyes to hers. "I love you, James."

It was the reassurance that he needed, to get going at least, and his heart lightened as they started walking into the jungle. Kate moved into the lead, because she knew the way, and Sawyer said, "How far is it?"

She shrugged; it was hard to say since their journey here had been filled with so many stops and starts but she ventured a guess. "I'd say two days." She glanced back at Ana and Sara, and she said, "Ana, would you say two days? That's how long it took you to come across with the others from your camp, right?"

Ana was a little surprised that Kate would consult her, and she took a second to gather her thoughts before she said, "Yeah, but part of that was carrying Cowboy, and that slowed us down a little. I'd say we camp on the beach tonight, maybe near the cliffs and we get there tomorrow afternoon."

Kate nodded, that sounded right. She got a little thrill of excitement at the thought of going back to camp; it was almost like a home and going home wasn't something she'd been able to do in a long, long time. What was home? Usually it was a highway underpass, or an abandoned car, or a dirty, cheap motel room or wherever she happened to find herself when she was too tired to go anymore, too tired to keep running for another second; it was nice, comforting to know that there was someplace she could go, even if it was just a tarp propped over some pieces of wreckage because it was home and she felt a strange, unfamiliar tug in her heart at the thought of it.

She really couldn't wait to see the others, too, especially Claire and the baby; she wanted to hold him, to coo over him and talk to Claire because she'd never gone through this before and she was suddenly thankful that there was another mom on the Island. She appreciated with sudden clarity how scared, how absolutely terrified Claire must have been, to be crashed on an Island with a bunch of strangers with a baby on the way, then the kidnapping and Ethan...she shivered, pressing herself a little closer to Sawyer as her hand went unconciously to her belly. At least she had him to protect her and the baby, to take care of them, and as if on cue, Sawyer noticed her hand on her stomach and he stopped her, looking worried. "Kate? Are you okay?"

She looked down and noticed her hand and she smiled as she looked up at him through the long tendrils of hair hanging over her eyes. "Yeah," she said softly, suddenly struck by how lucky she was to have found him. "I'm great."

He looked relieved and let her go, taking her hand instead and lifting it to his lips. "Do you need anything?"

His lips on her fingers sent chills rocketing through her body and she smiled as she pulled them gently away, leaning up and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I've got everything I need, James," she said, low, and he started to reach for her but she suddenly turned a nasty shade of green and bolted for the trees as Sawyer stood, stunned for a second before going after her.

Ana and Sara stopped, watching Kate with sympathy; As Sawyer passed her, Ana couldn't resist, calling after him, "You'd have that effect on me too, Cowboy."

In between heaves Kate heard Ana and laughed, luckily it was hidden in a new bout of sickness and Sawyer didn't notice it as he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her hair back from her sweaty, pale face as he murmured to her. It passed quickly this time, but she leaned against him, weakly, as he held her and stroked her hair for a few minutes, then handed her some water, kissing her clammy forehead gently as she recovered.

After a minute she took a long, shaky breath and nodded, pulling out of Sawyer's arms and kissing him softly. "Thank you." She leaned against him for a second, letting the warm weight of his arms give her strength, then she smiled and said, "Okay. Let's go."

Her pace wasn't as fast, Sawyer noticed, and he started to catch up to her, to keep an eye on her, but Ana beat him to it, moving up next to Kate and smiling as she said, "It won't last long, you know."

"What's that?" Her voice was sharper than she meant it to be but she wasn't sure what Ana was talking about, and she still didn't trust her, not with the stakes that hung in the balance.

Ana smiled at Kate's suspicious tone; she didn't blame her, really, the maternal instincts were kicking in and she was getting more protective. Ana remembered what it felt tlike. "The morning sickness. It won't last much longer."

Kate relaxed a little, glancing aside at Ana as she asked softly, "What happened, Ana?"

She didn't answer for a few minutes, then she said, "I was shot and I lost the baby. I was four months."

Her heart hit her ribs with a dull thud and she felt like crying because she couldn't imagine, after four months of loving and having little Joshua inside of her, of having that little life in her hands, she couldn't imagine losing him, having him taken away from her in a snap. She grasped Ana's hand, almost on impulse, squeezing it as she imagined how Ana was then, at four months she would be showing, a little pooch in her belly that was hard to notice under her clothes but she'd know, know every single second of the day that it was there. "I'm sorry, Ana. Really." She squeezed her hand again, because she knew Ana must feel its absence. Every single second.

"Yeah." She didn't meet Kate's eyes because she was happy for her,but she couldn't stand to see it, to see the radiance and fulfillment that she would never know and she hated Kate for it, all of her other petty reasons were forgotten and she hated her, in that instant, for being happy, for having what she couldn't, and she pulled her hand from Kate's, smiling grimly. "Well, what's done is done."

Kate didn't know what to say, how to respond, so she said, "Well, maybe you can try again."

It was the wrong thing, she knew instantly and she started to apologize, take it back, but Ana stopped her with a grim smile. "I can't."

The friendly vibe between them had vanished, replaced with uncomfortable tension and Kate tried to alleviate it. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Her tone said otherwise and she shrugged, feeling like an opportunity had been lost, an opportunity to bond with Kate, to be friends, and she wanted to, suddenly, even though she didn't know where her loyalties would lie in the future. She wanted them to lie here for the moment, and only part of it was to get back at Jack, because how better than to help Kate and Sawyer get what they wanted while at the same time keeping it away from him? "Yeah, well, I just wanted to tell you that, about the morning sickness." She looked aside at Kate, smiling tenatively. "It must be tough, you know, being out here and knowing...but great too."

Kate returned the smile, gladly; she'd felt the same sense of a missed chance at a friendship and she said, "Yeah, it is a little scary. I don't know anything about babies. But I have him," she nodded back at Sawyer, who was obviously trying to listen without being noticed and failing miserably. Something clicked in her head and she glanced back at him again, a sly smile playing around her lips.

Ana nodded and said, "That makes it easier, to have someone to lean on."

Raising her voice so that she was sure he could hear, she said, "No, I mean I have him to practice on."

His eyes were rolling, she knew it, she could feel it on the back of her head and she grinned at Ana, who had turned to look at Sawyer and was laughing. Kate had to look and she was rewarded with a hurt, sulky Sawyer, acting just like the baby she said he was. She stopped, feeling a little bad for messing with him and he said, "Don't worry about me now, Freckles. You don't need another kid draggin' you down."

"Oh, James, I was just kidding," she hugged him tight around the waist and he smiled, kissing her lightly on the head. "You know I can't live without you."

He brushed her hair away from her face and hugged her back. "I know, Freckles," he said, not seeing her roll her eyes at Ana is if to say See? A baby, and Ana just chuckled as she kept walking past them into the brightening jungle.

-----

"Locke."

He found him in a clearing, sitting crosslegged in the center with his face and hands turned up to the sun, like he was soaking up its energy, like a human solar panel. "Hi, Jack." He looked out of the corner of his eye. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Where are the stones?" He stepped out of the shadows mad by the early morning sun and John had to hide his shock at his appearance; he was haggard and pale and his eyes were shining with an unhealthy, insane gleam.

Locke scratched his head and stood, warily watching him as he did. "I gave them to Ana."

Jack smiled, a little crazily and advanced on John; he was dizzy with hatred and he hadn't slept or eaten in a while, his thinking was skewed and he knew it, and yet desire to get his hands on the stones, and Locke outweighed everything else. Except for Ana. He really wanted to go after her, to fix things, to explain, but he was afraid to, afraid she wouldn't listen, that she would shut him out, and so he chose Locke. "No, John, the other stones."

"I don't have any others. I found those in the Shark hatch." Why did he want them? "What are they for?"

Jack smiled nastily. "There was a time when I would have told you that, John." shrugging, he said, "If you had the other stones I'd let you in on it. But..."

Locke shook his head, smiling. "Nice try Jack. I don't have them. So good luck with that." A smirk played across his lips as he said, "So, where's Ana? Didn't she ever show up?"

He fell like a brick as Jack slammed into him, hard, his hands going around his throat as he snarled, "You knew she was there. You knew I was trying to play you, John, and you knew what I'd say, you son of a bitch. I ought to kill you right now."

John was grinning beneath him, grunting for air. His biggest problem with Jack was his reluctance to be led, his bull-headedness that made compromise and working with him impossible, and it was only made worse when Ana was thrown into the mix because she did have some influence over Jack. In the clearing, when he'd asked him that question, he'd known she was listening and he'd also known what Jack was doing, what he was planning; he'd seen Jack's thoughts, that he was going to try and get in good with Locke by pretending that Ana was just a fling, she was nothing to him. It's purpose was two-fold, to get Locke to believe him, to trust him, and also to keep Ana safe, should things between he and Locke take a turn.

Of course, the fact that Jack knew what Locke was thinking, about Ana, meant that he'd been peeking at Locke's thoughts as well, and Locke laughed as Jack's elbow pushed into his larynx. "Then...why...don't you?"

Panting, he gave John's throat one last hard shove before he stood up, backing away. "Because I'm not a murderer, John. I never was." He stepped up to Locke, still lying on the ground and massaging his throat. "I never will be." He stalked out of the glade without looking back.