I Left You

I remember every moment I had with him. Really. I know that some people when they are completely enamored with the one they love say that, but really don't remember. But I do. Every moment.

I remember our first date. He had made it sound like the whole group was going to an amusement park that weekend, and I had resigned myself to having to share him with everyone else. Then, when I arrived, it was only him standing there, waiting, a big blob of pink cotton candy sitting in his hand. He handed it to me, pecked me on the lips quickly, and then proceeded to give me the greatest day I had ever had at a park.

Every time I look at a roller coaster now, I can see his face flushed with excitement, feel my stomach flipping not because I'm scared, but because he was so close, and remember the feel of my hand in his when he grabbed it and held it tight, holding it above our heads as we went down the hill. Holding it high, so everyone could see.

I remember the first time I told him I loved him. It was a little over three months since we had started dating. I was sitting at the park near my house, one of our favorite places. I was swinging, waiting for him to appear. When he did, I was suspicious of what was behind his back. He walked up to me, grinning stupidly. I watched him, curious, as he pulled out a giant potted flower plant from behind him.

"Palmon told me that she didn't like when I gave you 'dead' flowers, that it made her sad. I thought that this would be a good replacement," he explained, handing me the multicolored violets. Tears suddenly sprung to my eyes as I looked at my sweet boyfriend.

"I love you so much," I murmured softly, but then froze. We had agreed to take things slow, so that we would be sure everything was real, not just said because we were supposed to by that time. Three months was, of course, a long time not to say 'I love you' even in teen dating time, even longer if you had loved your boyfriend since you started dating him. But I had waited, keeping my feelings to myself, till now. Was it too soon for him? What if I had ruined everything?

The smile slid off his face and he looked at me. I couldn't read the emotion in his eyes, so I looked at the ground, terrified. I was startled when his hand lifted my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes. Warmth and something else were reflected there, something I had never seen in anyone looking at me before.

"I love you too," he whispered, hugging me close and burying his face in the crook of my neck.

That was also the first day that I knew what love looked like in someone's eyes. I had seen it in his. I hoped that he saw it shining there in mine, too.

I remember the day he proposed to me. We had been dating three and a half years. Everyone had expected us to get engaged long before now, but we didn't listen. We were still taking things slow, making sure we didn't ruin things by making silly mistakes. Our relationship was strong as a result. Even though I had been across the seas, studying in California for the past two years, we still were together, and barely even fought. I loved him so much, that even though I studied and attended class, and hung out with friends like normal during that day, sometimes I would just stay awake at night, thinking of when I would get to see him next.

Luckily, the summer came, and I spent every moment I could with him. That day, we were at the park, again. He was playing soccer with some of our friends while the rest of us watched off to the side. Once the game was finished, he jogged over to me, pecking on the lips and giving me a look that said he would do more if our friends weren't around. I smiled and pushed back some stray locks of hair, but drew back as soon as I realized that they were drenched in sweat. He smiled sheepishly at my face of disgust and dragged me away, waving goodbye to our confused friends.

He then proceeded to bring us to a kiddie pool in the middle of the park and jumped in, surprising all of the parents standing around, watching their kids. All I did was try to hide my face in my hands. The kids themselves were thrilled that he was there, and it took a lot of persuading on his part to get them to let him leave. He dragged me again to a little secluded, grassy hill where we laid out in the shade.

His head, not sweaty or wet anymore, sat in my lap as I ran my fingers through this hair. He sighed contently, snuggling his head deeper into my lap, commenting how my simple white linen sun dress felt nice and cool. I sat in pure bliss, trying to store this memory in my head for the next school year, to think over when I was all alone in bed.

I started when I felt something cool slip over my finger. I pulled it back, only to see a white gold ring there, a diamond in the middle with two small light green stones on either side. I gasped, and stared dumbly at my hand. I hardly noticed the weight of him being lifted from my lap as he sat up. He took my hands in his and knelt before me.

"I love you so much. You fill my life with so much light, that sometimes I can only stare at you and wonder if I am dead and you are an angel gracing me with your presence. But then I remember that I am alive, that you make me feel so alive." He kissed her hand, once on each knuckle. "Marry me, Mimi. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

My heart literally stopped, too full of emotions to move at all. When I could finally move, I launched myself into his arms. Not ready for my sudden attack, we fell over and rolled to the bottom of the hill. I proceed to cover his face in kisses, saying "Yes!" between each one.

That memory seems so far away sometimes, and even though I remember it, I sometimes wonder if I am watching someone else's memory.

I remember our sixth anniversary. We were still engaged, since we were waiting to save up some money before we got married. My father wasn't happy about us, and even though my mother insisted that he would pay for it, we decided not to rely on him for the wedding money. I had just graduated from my culinary arts school that summer, and was working at a good restaurant in Tokyo. He had graduated from Kyoto University a year before, and was immediately snatched up to start working with Digital World government branch.

We lived in a tiny apartment, but I didn't mind. It fit the two of us perfectly, intimately. It seemed especially big when I was left there alone. He had gotten so high up in his department that he was practically running the place, but that was no surprise to me. He was always a leader. Anyway, he started stay later and later everyday, trying to keep up with work. This left me alone, but I understood. I was a digidestined, I knew how important his job was.

Then, he started missing dates and dinners we were supposed to go to. I had thought that maybe he could get out of work on time if he had something specific planned in advance, but it didn't really work that way. But I loved him, so I made the excuses to others and to myself.

I always believed that if it was really important that he would come through for me. So three weeks before our sixth anniversary, I told him that I had a romantic, quiet evening planned for us, and that he could NOT miss it. Every time he came home late, or missed a friend's birthday or dinner party, he would still apologize, but my only response was "I don't care, just as long as you make it home on time on our anniversary.

The day came, and he left for work that morning, giving me a gentle kiss as he left. I had the day off, which I spent buying food and cooking it, and dressing up in my first fancy new dress in a while. It was soft and light green, Tai's favorite color on me. It matched the green from my ring, thanks to the help of Sora who had specially made the dress for me.

Six was approached fast, and everything was ready. Five minutes before six, the phone rang. It was him.

I can't say now that I was really surprised. I had hoped, but when his voice told me about the large report that needed to be completed that day, my heart didn't hurt and I wasn't really sad. I was just empty.

He sounded really apologetic, almost afraid of what I might say. I simply told him to hurry and that I would see him later. I hung up and put all of the food away until he got home. Then I got to work on my plan for the next day.

When he got home, I got the food out again and heated it up, and we shared our special dinner. He was especially nice to me, and everything was beautiful, just like I had planned it.

That night, he held me close as he fell asleep, and I just laid there, storing the memory of that night in my head for safe keeping. There hadn't been enough good memories of late, and I wanted one last, recent memory of our love. I had a lot from the beginning and middle, but I needed one good one for the end.

When he woke up that morning, I could tell that he thought that everything was fine. He was whistling as he walked to the kitchen, but stopped when he saw me in the hall.

"Morning, honey. What are you up to?" He asked, smiling.

"I'm leaving," I answered.

"Oh? Are you going out shopping with Sora? She mentioned something like that earlier in the week."

"No, I'm not just leaving the house, I'm leaving you," I said, trying not to let my voice crack.

His eyes widened, then he smiled an uncomfortable, fake smile. "Haha, Mimi, good one."

I moved aside so he could see my suitcase next to me. His eyes were disbelieving, and he looked around the apartment, only to notice all of my things had been removed. He turned back to me, alarmed.

I looked him in the eye, repeating the speech I had prepared yesterday. "I asked you one little thing. I just wanted one night out of this year to be about me, not about your work. And I couldn't get it. I know that I can be a selfish person sometimes, but this was so small that can't say I didn't deserve it. And I gave you advanced notice, and you still couldn't do it. One night."

He explained the importance of his job, and how others were counting on him. He explained he had tried, really. "Mimi, don't do this, I love you. I want to marry you."

"Really? We have had more than enough money for a wedding for a while now. I can't plan it, though, since you are never here. You can never commit to a date because of work. This just wasn't meant to be."

"I love you," he pleaded.

"I know, and I love you too. But I think you love your job more. And I think I love myself more too. I need to think of myself, since no one else will." I watched him, standing there sad and angry and confused, and I asked my last request of him. "Let me go, please? I don't want this to be bad. Let this end peacefully, because you love me. Do this one thing for me, since you couldn't do any of the others."

He walked up to me, and kissed me passionately. The tears I had been holding spilled over and I kissed him back. He pulled back suddenly, and looked to his palm where I had laid my ring. I picked up my bag and walked out of our apartment.

I remember the last glimpse of him as my lover. He was standing at the doorway, watching me enter the cab. I looked at him, waved, and got in. I watched him as we drove away, when he thought I couldn't see him anymore. He crumpled to the ground, sitting there silently, trying to hide his emotions from himself.

I try not to remember that, but as I said, I remember everything. I remember every feeling of love, hope, happiness, pain and nothingness.

I remember everything.

I could never forget Taichi Yagami.


AN- Man, this started off good and then the end just hits you hard. I hope I didn't make anyone the bad guy here. Tai really is a good guy.

You can think of this as the unofficial sequel to What Women Want. I won't be mentioning anything from WWW, and this stands on its own, but I imagine this story as how it would have gone on if it hadn't ended.

Till next time.